Page One
The first song quoted is Joni Mitchell’s “River,” from the “Blue” album. The others are from Anita Baker’s “Rapture.”
The Finest Thing
Dawn headed down for breakfast. After passing Willow’s door, she paused, wondering if she should say something. She decided to keep silent. Willow was playing the music again:
*It’s coming on Christmas/They’re cuttin’ down trees,
They’re putting up reindeer/Singing songs of joy and peace,
I wish I had a river/I could skate away on.”
Dawn sighed. Entering the kitchen, she said to Buffy, who was busy at the stove, “She’s doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Playing the depressing Christmas song again. It’s months until Christmas, and she’s playing the depressing Christmas song again.”
Buffy flipped over the pancakes. “She’s not depressed about Christmas. It’s not even her holiday.”
“Should we be worried about, you know…” Dawn twisted her face into an exaggerated scowl and crooked her fingers.
“No, I don’t think she’s gonna go all Darth Willow on us again. She’s been fine.” And she had been. In the past few weeks, Willow hadn’t shown the slightest inclination toward Dark Magicks. Anya had even allowed her to work at The Magic Box without worrying.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with magic,” said Buffy as she put the plate in front of Dawn. “It’s … something else. “ They fell silent as the music drifted downstairs:
*I’m so hard to handle/I’m selfish and I’m sad,
Now I’ve lost the best baby/That I ever had,
Oh, I wish I had a river/I could skate away on,
I wish I had a river so wide/I could teach my feet to fly.*
Dawn looked moodily at the plate. “Tara liked to make funny shapes. I think it was ‘cause she couldn’t always make them round when she was in a hurry. But she always explained what they were. My favorite was the 3-legged cat.”
Buffy smoothed back Dawn’s hair. “It’s not something she can just get over. It’ll take time.” She looked up toward Willow’s room. “Maybe I should tell her that.”
“What are you gonna say?”
“I hope I know when I get there, “ said Buffy as she headed upstairs.
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Willow was sitting in her room, staring pensively at nothing, when Buffy got to the open door. The stereo had gone on to a new song:
*Caught up in the rapture of love,
Nothing else can compare,
When I feel the magic of you.*
Buffy hesitated, then said, “Willow…” She jumped up, embarrassed.
“Was I playing it too loud?” she said, reaching over to turn down the volume. “I’m sorry.”
“You can play it as loud as you want. You aren’t bothering anyone.”
“No,” said Willow, “It’s bad enough trying to kill all of you and destroy the world. You shouldn’t have to have my music inflicted on you, too.”
“Inflict away. That’s what we’re here for. We know why you’re listening to it.”
The redhead looked more embarrassed. “I know that thinking about her just makes me feel worse, but I don’t want to stop. It’s like, if I stop thinking about her…” Willow bit her lip, trying to keep herself from crying. “It’s just that I’m afraid I might start to forget things. Private things, that were just between us. If I forget them, they’ll be gone, she’ll be gone, and I just couldn’t take that.”
“It doesn’t work like that. You couldn’t forget those things if you tried.” Buffy paused. “When my mother died, I tried not to think of her. I put away her things, packed them up, wouldn’t look at them…”
“That’s what I did,” said Willow. “I put everything in there.” She pointed to a large blue trunk, decorated with moons and stars. “Her clothes, jewelry, charms, everything. I try not to go through it, but I can’t help it.”
“But that’s okay! After a while it won’t hurt to think about her. As long as you don’t get attached to the depression. That’s what I did for so long, and look what a mess I made.’
“I’m trying not to,” said Willow, “but I don’t think it’s getting better.”
“Sure it is. Not everything you listen to is depressing.”
*Baby, believe in the mystery/Like it used to be,
Baby bring back all the passion to my heart,
I can remember the tender days/All the love we made,
I need to feel your magic here tonight.*
Willow gave Buffy a rueful look and reached over to turn off the stereo. “Has Dawn left for The Magic Box yet?”
“Not yet.”
“Anya’s doing inventory. I promised to help.”
“O.K.”
Willow started to leave, then looked back. “Don’t worry, Buffy. I’ll never feel so bad that I want to hurt someone again. Never.”
“Not even you?”
“Not even me.”
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Dawn and Willow entered The Magic Box to the sound of an argument. It made Willow feel vaguely better. Xander and Anya fought almost as much now as when they were engaged. It was reassuring. At least something was back to normal.
Anya saw them. “Dawn! I have to talk to you.”
“The count of something must be off,” whispered Dawn to Willow. “She’ll look through my purse, then probably want to go search my room.”
“Why wouldn’t she suspect me? I’m the one who wrecked the place.”
“No, she says that you’ve already got lots of power, wouldn’t need to take anything from here. Go ahead, start counting stuff. Xander and I will calm her down.”
Willow picked up a clipboard and headed to the far end of the store. Turning down an aisle of charms, she was surprised to see a customer.
“Amy?”
The dark-haired witch started at the sound of her name. “Willow! How are you? I mean, everybody heard what happened to you. Are you feeling all right now?”
“Better, I guess.”
“I was sorry to hear about your friend Tara. She was nice.”
Twitchy as ever, thought Willow. And she knew why. “Thank you,” she answered, coolly adding, “And I’m sorry for killing your connection. Must be tough for you.”
Amy started again. ‘Oh, hey, no, Willow. Rack was bad news. You did us all a favor. I was quitting all that, anyway.”
“Glad to hear it,” said Willow. “So there’s nobody dealing Black Magick in Sunnydale anymore?”
“No, nobody has the nerve to now. Not after you sucked it all up.” Amy stared at her. “That must have been quite a feeling. Getting all of it at once. Having that much power.” The gleam in her eye betrayed her excitement.
“It wasn’t any kind of feeling, Amy. That’s the point. You don’t feel a thing.”
“Oh, yeah, right, I understand,” said Amy, in a way that made Willow sure she didn’t understand at all.
“Do you need anything? I mean, anything specific?”
“No, no, just browsing. Listen, you’re busy, I’ll get out of your way. See you around, right?”
“Yeah, right.”
Willow watched her skitter out with a vague feeling of unease.
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Willow couldn’t remember what woke her up that night. She opened her eyes. The room was empty, but it didn’t feel empty.
“Hello? Is someone there?”
She got out of bed. The lights were out, but the room seemed to be growing brighter. At first, it didn’t seem to be coming from anywhere. Then she saw a point of light in the center of the room. It grew larger, to the size of a human figure. It seemed to be trying to resolve itself into a shape, but failing. Willow stood there, waiting. Then she heard it:
“Bring me back.”
Willow froze.
“Willow, I want to come back.”
“No!” shouted Willow, “you’re not her! You’re not!!”
“You have the power, Willow. Use it. You can do it.”
“Willow!” A voice came from the doorway. Willow turned to see Buffy, with Dawn behind her. “Willow, get back! It’s not Tara. She would never say that.”
Willow was suddenly calm. “It’s all right, Buffy. I know what to do.” She reached into the blue trunk and pulled something out. Slowly, she approached the figure, touched it…
The apparition shrieked. A reddish-blue flame leaped out at Willow, flinging her against the wall. Buffy rushed in, but by the time she reached the figure, it was gone.
“Buffy!” Dawn was leaning over Willow. “She’s hurt!”
“No,” said Willow, “I’m O.K.” She tried to struggle to her feet, but only managed to get back to the bed before she collapsed.
“Willow, what was that?” said Buffy.
“Something evil. Something that wanted me to use the Dark Magicks.”
“But what did you do? How did you stop it?”
“With this.” Willow held up a silver bracelet. “It’s Tara’s. She said it protected her from evil magic. I knew it would work.”
“But who would want you to use the Dark Magicks?”
“Somebody desperate. Somebody who needs it. Amy.”
“Amy?” said Dawn. “She’s been hanging around The Magic Box. But she never buys anything.”
“You said there were some things missing from the inventory.”
“I’ll call Anya,” said Buffy. “We’ll find out what they are. Maybe we’ll be able to figure out what she’s planning.”
“She’s still at the store,” said Dawn. “She wanted to finish the inventory before tomorrow.”
“O.K., I’ll go down there. Dawn, you stay with Willow. Don’t let her get out of bed.”
“But I’m fine, Buffy, I … oh, ow.” Willow fell back into the bed.
“See? Don’t worry. Whatever Amy’s up to, we’ll stop it.”
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“I think you’re right,” said Anya, looking at the list of missing items. “From how you described the apparition, all the things she would need are right here.”
“But what else?” said Buffy. “What would she need the other missing items for?”
“Well, I …” The phone rang. “Magic Box. Your one stop shop for…”
“Anya, it’s Dawn. I’ve got to talk to Buffy.” Anya handed her the phone.
“Buffy, Willow’s gone.”
“Gone? But how did she…”
“She said she was hungry. I went down to get her something, and when I got back she was gone. She left a note: ~I’ve gone to Amy’s. I know what she wants, and I’m going to let her take it. Don’t worry about me. I know what I’m doing.~ What do we do now?”
“Call Xander. Have him drive you to Amy’s. We’ll meet you there. And bring weapons.” She hung up.
“Willow’s gone to Amy’s. Says she’s going to give her what she wants.”
“But she can’t!” said Anya. “If Amy’s using the other things she stole…”
“Why? What are they?”
“They’re used to steal the powers from another witch, to drain them from her.”
“So Willow won’t be a witch anymore?”
“Willow won’t be anything anymore! A witch’s powers are tied up with her life. If Amy drains her this way, it’ll kill her!”
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