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Willow was pacing around the Summers’ living room. She knew she needed to confront her best friend, but wasn’t sure how to begin “Please sit down, Willow. I’m getting a little motion sick watching you.” Buffy implored her.
Willow sat beside Buffy on the couch. She was fidgeting with her hands as she began. “Buffy, I know I've been kinda out of it with my out of control witchy stuff,” she paused and rolled her eyes expressively, “but I've been noticing something a… a little strange about how you've been acting lately.”
“I'm not sure what you mean...”
“Well,” Willow took a deep breath before continuing, “with the going out on all night patrols and coming home a bruised up and sore in funny places. Like, Buffy, you can't even sit down sometimes, a… and I'm thinking that m... maybe…”
“Maybe what?”
“M… maybe you've been having all night demon wrestling with Spike in a, well, a non-wrestly kind of way.” Willow lifted her eyebrows and gazed at Buffy inquiringly, her teeth toying with her lower lip.
Buffy looked incredulous “Are you asking me if I'm having sex with Spike?”
“Well, yeah.” Willow squirmed. “Are you?”
Now Buffy was squirming. “That depends on what you mean by ‘having’ and ‘sex’. Like, does ‘having’ mean more than once? Or… or what about more than once in one night? Like if it is one night, but it's 4 or 5 times, does that really count for more than once? I mean, especially if you don’t stop for breaks. And ‘having’ makes you think more than once, right?”
Willow wrinkled her brow. “Well, I suppose so...”
Buffy continued, “And being invisible when you are ‘having’ doesn't really count either, since nobody saw you do anything, right?”
“Uhhh...”
“And sex is really like boyfriend stuff, where you plan on being together, and not really something that just happens because you are in the wrong place some night when you're beating the crap out of somebody and he just happens to look like someone you might like to ‘have’ after you've gotten yourself all worked up. Right?”
“Umm, Buffy…”
“Yes. I'm having sex with Spike.”
Girl Talk, Interrupted
Due to popular demand, I'm continuing the scene. It picks up in Buffy's living room, exactly where we've left the two friends.
*************************
“Yes. I'm having sex with Spike.”
Willow’s eyes were big and round. Her voice was soft. “Oh.”
Buffy stood and shifted her feet uncomfortably. “Hey Will, I'm gonna go out to the kitchen and get a cup of coffee. You want any?”
“Uh, no. I think I'll just sit out here and sit... out here...”
Buffy studied her briefly before leaving the room. After she left the front door opened and Xander walked in.
“Hey, Willow, I was hoping I'd find you here alone.”
“I'm here... sitting... but...”
“I need to talk to you about something I think I saw yesterday that I really didn't see. And I'm trying not to think about it. I'm really, really trying...”
Buffy reentered the room and heard his last statement.
Xander continued, unaware of Buffy’s presence. “But I think Buffy is...”
“...having sex with Spike.” All three voices stated in unison.
“What?” Xander shook his head as if to clear out his ears. “Did we all just say that?”
“Yeah, Xander.” Willow confirmed. “Buffy and I were just having a talk about this whole sex thing and she did mention that…” Willow shifts uneasily, her eyes sliding between Xander and Buffy. “uhhh...”
Xander turned an angry face to the Slayer. “Buffy, how could you? With Spike?” He made an odd gurgling sound, which concerned both of the girls.
“Oh right.” Buffy crossed her arms. “Like the two of you have never slept with anybody out of the ordinary!”
Willow quickly defended herself. “Buffy, I've always had nice lovers. Well, there have only been 2, but they've both been nice and mostly normal. I mean, Oz was only a wolf three days out of a month. And Tara was just wonderful. I know she thought she was a half-demon, and there's the whole witch thing, but she's normal.” Willow smiled wistfully.
Buffy turned to stare down Xander.
“What, you're looking at me now? Well, OK. So Faith was a nasty bit of news. I'll concede that. But Spike is a lot older than you...”
Buffy gazed at him calmly, her head tilted.
Xander began to look a bit uncomfortable. “And he's done all those terrible things to innocent people...”
Buffy raised her eyebrows and continued to stare at him.
Xander fidgeting in earnest now. “And he has terrible social skills.” He stopped and smacked himself in the forehead with the heel of his hand. “Just bury me now. I've already dug the hole.”
Buffy’s voice softened. “I appreciate your concern, but...”
The kitchen door slammed and the three friends turned toward the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. Spike entered the room and took note of their expressions. Buffy looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Willow sported a cute little half smile, and Xander was trying to burn holes through him with his eyes.
“Oh, bloody hell!”
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