Stormy nights with unbearable ice winds, burning in the day like molten lava, I was a wanderer, a traveler seeking a refuge for my weary heart. I continue to be a vagabond; hunger and thirst are my meals day and night. Then I said to myself, “God where are you leading me? I was living in the desert since my childhood, I already mastered the way of survival, please God heal my heart for that’s the only reasons why I still breathing, it’s my heart that permits me to continue to live not the earthly things I’ve seen on my way”. Without saying a word God smiled at me, it’s really strange because eventhough I can’t see His face, I knew He was smiling. My meditation ended, I grab my bag, and then walk.
The weather is surprisingly good that it adds up to my amazement, then a girl approaches me, it’s really weird because you seldom meet persons in this infinite wilderness. I approach the girl and kneel in front of her saying “Where is your mother? You shouldn’t be walking alone in this desert!!” The little girl said, “My mama is no longer with me, but she’s in my heart always, like you, I also learned how to survive in this desert, it very easy!!” The girl laughs but her eyes say different. Do you like a seed? Will you plant it for me? , the girl said.
My soul jumped in joy, for I have found a place to stay, a plant to take care of. She put the tiny seed into my shaking hands, at last my heart will be healed!! Looking for a good place to plant the seed, she was holding my hands while we walk. Then we found a good place, I dig in the mud and sand with my bare hands. Then I put the seed in the soil and watered it with my last drop of water.
Days and nights have passed we waited for the first sprout with beautiful eyes and smiling lips of the girl, time passed unnoticed. Then a small plant surfaced into the air, what a great happiness overcomes my heart, at last at last I shouted!! Then I looked at the little girl, her eyes shows her soul, mountains of sadness, frustrations and fears. As I watch the plant grow, without saying a word, she turned her back on me and silently walked away. I ask her why she is leaving; she ignored my question and continue to walk away. The plant knowing that the giver of it life is leaving, slowly the life of the plant is dropping one by one in the sand, and to my surprise the weather becomes bad, I covered the plant with my body to protect it from the harsh condition outside.
I looked at the girl walking, suddenly she turns into a beautiful lady, her eyes full of tears. I stood up and run after her, with the dying plant in my hand, I ran and shouted, “lady please don’t go away, this plant will surely die if the giver of its life is not around, please stay, and lets make this desert our own paradise!!”
I ran as fast as I could but no matter how fast I ran I’m always two steps behind her!!! I tried to reach for her hand, but she never gives her hand to reach me. I ran, ran and still ran hoping to catch her.
Just when you begin to think that the chase will took you forever, as if God smiled and granted my plea, a miracle have just happened!! With my untiring hands reaching her, suddenly she stopped and took my hand, I was stunned, energies flowed all over me, my body begins to radiate, and my world saw light. The plant, our dying plant, in blink of an eye, it turned back into a seed. A life is saved!! We stood there, no words came, lips silent, we look at each others eyes with hopeful smile. It looks as if time stopped; we’re in the midst of time and space. The seed, sleeping in my left hand, our right hand holding each other, we can go on forever. And I uttered to myself, “sana umulan”.
But the rain won’t come, instead an extreme coldness was felt, it is summer but I’m freezing to death. And slowly the lady disappeared in front of me. As if her body was turning into nothingness, her face fading, her smile into anger. I fought, I hold her hand tightly but it was too late, her body is now an illusion, you can see her but you cannot touch her, the seed, the seed is left out in my hand. I tried to embrace for the last time, but she’s already gone, like the cold wind that passes my face. What were left to me were a seed and the memory of that beautiful lady…just a memory. I put the seed in my bag along with the few other seeds that I’ve collected along the way. And then for a minute or two, tears fall from my eyes, then I smiled look into the sky and side “Thank you Lord”.
I stood up, put my bag at my back and continue my walk. “What a beautiful day to start a journey”!