| SELF-HARM POETRY |
| “OBSESSION” Colourful neon pink and yellow, Some blue or red and white But most the boring old white. Lying there in a tin Begging to be taken, Like sweeties to a child. Why though? Why take them? And possibly suffer A slow painful death. It's my means of harming myself, To cause damage not visible, To cause pain, to ease the guilt, And mask the mental pain One cannot explain. The madness inside, The illness that drives one To cause such terrible pain. The pain everlasting, Only the pills bring some relief, And then the sickness follows. All else fails, Nothing relieves the pain, The downright misery. Constant self-hatred, Worthlessness and despair Driving oneself To inflict such damage. Mutilation is visible The damage clearly seen But with pills how can one know What effect it's had. No-one knows Until the blood test shows The liver's been damaged And harm's been caused. I will keep on until that day, It is a goal I strive to reach, To gain the relief, the pleasure Of damage to the liver. Just to know I've succeeded In harming the body I hate. One day I will finally Reach my goal. No matter what it takes, Nor how long I must cause the damage, Until then I cannot be free, Free from this gnawing pain And despair deep inside Which tears me a apart. It is like an obsession, An obsession about pills And harming thyself. by Claire CH 2001 |
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