Caterina

Page 3

Even then Rome was an ancient city. Teeming with the hussle and bussle of life. I've often marveled over the years how niave I was. Some of my most memorable prey have been young fools searching for the same thing I was. The look of suprise on their faces when they realize that just because I said I would make them into what they wanted didn't mean I really would always made me chuckle.*evil smile*. It was a cruel game I enjoyed once, to have them fawning and groveling at my every whim for months. The joy on their faces when they thought they had finally past the test and were about to receive everything they had ever wanted.*L* Here is a clue for you, there is no TEST! Think about it, did you really think there would be? Each of us makes our own decision. The first deciding factor though is always do we have time and want to put the effort into training. Since all of our existence depends on the discretion of each other, each new kindred must be trained in the ways of deception and descretion. They must be taught how to reckonize when it is time to move to a new location, how to set up new identities, how to dispose of prey to not raise suspicion. We have few laws but those must be learned too. Then of course after those nasty preliminaries are out of the way it gets down to the bottom line "What kind of mood am I in today" , usually lunch,*EG*. But all that aside, in the end I got what I wanted. Still though it was a dangerous thing I done, I risked everything and even with careful planning, months of preparation, in the end I think what turned the tide for me was just plain dumb luck was on my side. Not only did I happen to find one of the oldest living of my kind, but I found one who long ago had lost his one true love before becoming a vampire. Finding the one I was looking for was suprisingly easy. Of course it took time. Weeks of sleeping in the day time,roaming the night spots from dust till dawn. I always made sure to blend in with a group when going from one place to another. After all I knew what was out there, what I was searching for, I did not want to become a victim, there is safety in numbers. I paid close attention to who I saw night after night. The full details of how I decerned I had found who I was looking for must remain my secret. However, there is something we all carry with us, those who have found and lost their one great love. It can't be hidden. It is in our voice, our eyes, our very movements, it is a part of us. Although at the time we were so very young our love was old. Davidson had brought pain equal to the love I had given over the years. I reckognized this pain in the one I chose to be my Maker and he in me. This shared pain I think is ultimately what saved me from the same fate I have given so many others over the years. Make no mistake even looking back now I realize how utterly stupid and dangerous it was of me to approach him at all. And yes, even arrogant as well.      After, there was so much learn. Legends are full of half truths and those half truths can kill a young vampire. I had to learn the truth, the few laws, the most important being "Never, ever are you to kill your own kind". I had to learn to control my new senses. Hearing someones most private thoughts can be interesting. Being in a crowded room and having everyone's voice in yor head at once can be torture. Also my heightened sence of smell was giving me trouble, it was weeks before I could walk down a street without having to duck into an alley to throw up. Then there was the connection with Davidson that I already had. It too had grown. I knew he could feel it too, knew what I had done, what I had become.It was almost as if he had crawled inside my skin. This left us open and exposed and a very real danger to each other until we learned to control it. Every part of me screamed to be with him. I could feel his pull, his power, his love. I could also feel the faint push for me to stay put. He too was learning control and restraint and the many other lessons only someone who had been here for hundreds of years could teach. Our survival depended on how well we learned. At times I could feel him laughing at me, we both knew learning control was not going to be the easiest of lessons for me. Yet is was the one lesson I needed to learn most if we were ever to be together again. Our appetites change and grow also, not just for blood, for passion,sex. Hidden away as the dawn approached one early morning I was to learn how important an understanding to all this was. And the risk my Maker had taken by staying with me for so long. It started as a story set long ago in place no longer here, of two young lovers. He told me of the night they were set upon by a vampire who's only happiness came from watching others suffer. The vampire turned them both that night, and sat on the ground next to them as they awakened to what they had become. Already in the throughs of passion when they were set upon, when awakening, the thirst for blood, the heightened passion was there undoing. They went at each other with a passion unimaginable and in the middle of there love making each sinking there newly formed fangs into the others flesh. She was small and by the time he came to himself it was too late. He had killed her, drained her of the force that kept her alive and it was now flowing through him. He committed the ultimate crime, had killed one of our own, yet worse for him had killed the great love of his life. Now he ran for the sake of his own life. He hunted the one who knew his secret, who had brought this on him. He survived for the day that he could once again take another vampire life.The one who had cost him so much. Bound by the restraints of tradition and power I could tell no one this tale even if I had chose too.My Makers secret would remain safe with me until he no longer exsisted.This was his warning to me, proof that control must be learned, and his last gift of sharing something so deeply personal.      Almost three years past from the time I had first left my home till the time my Maker announced he was leaving. He was right of course I had learned all he could teach, the rest was up to me. Still it was a sad parting. Davidson had been free for months. I could feel him out there in the world, he was on the first of many of his little missions he disapeared to over the coming years. I left him to it for the time being confident that when he was ready he would return to me.I hung around Rome until the seasons had changed once more and then I set out to make a life for myself. Although I knew he would return I also knew he would never stay. I was determined to enjoy what I had been given. I had no destination in mind when I left Rome. I traveled almost the entire continent.If I heard of a place that sounded interesting I went. If I became bored I left. Money was not a problem for me I simply robbed my prey after I was done feeding. It was a time of total freedom that I always look back on with fond memories. It was also a time of learning about different cultures, art, classes of people.Also during this time I came to understand and come to terms with my relationship with Davidson. Our self imposed exile along with the knowledge that I could find him now anytime I chose gave me the distance and confidence to fully look into aspects of it I had chosen to ignore before. I had always been sure of his love, yet now I admitted to myself that for him his love for me was a secondary thing. He would always put his pleasure and whims first. Some unknown force always brought him back and would continue to but I would never hold him. This was something I had always known deep inside but had refused to face. With it came a dull pain and a saddness that I have carried with me since that day. It is my constant companion and in a strange way a comfort to look inside and see it still there.

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