Rating: R (there's a naughty word and implied sex)
Spoilers: Mea Culpa
Disclaimer: I own nothing and I'm relatively poor.
Summary: I write my titles for stories like lab journal titles. It's very literal and the title is the best summary without giving anything away.

"Can you hear me, Nick?" Catherine's voice came over the intercom that connected her office with the lab.

"Yes," Nick swiveled in his chair, "Loud and clear."

There was a pause on Catherine's end, "Nick?"

"What?"

"Nick?"

"Catherine! What is it!" he yelled at the intercom.

She walked out of her office, down the hall and into the lab, "Why didn't you answer?"

"I did!" He exclaimed defensively. "It's just not working!"

"So I gathered." She sighed defeatedly. "You know what? Just forget it!" she threw her arms up in the air and stomped away to her office. Nick flinched as he heard her slam her door shut.

Greg walked into the lab. "What's up?"

"Fixing Catherine's intercom."

"Oh yeah? How's that coming?"

"Well, it isn't." He explained, "I can hear her, and she can't hear me."

"So. if you were to just. not turn it off, we could hear everything in her office and she'd never know?"

"Well, yeah, but-" it dawned on him. "Oooh! I see where you're going with this."

They leaned in towards the phone when they heard her door open and she purred, "Hello."

"Now it's getting good!" Greg was excited.

"Quiet, I wanna hear this." Nick protested.

"I am so stressed out right now!" Catherine raged. "No," she paused, "don't talk. You know what I need."

"What's she doing?"

"I don't know! I'm hearing just as much as you are!" Nick shot.

"Sor-ry!"

"Oooh!" Catherine's low moan wafted through the room, "That's it!"

Sara walked by and furrowed her brow, "What are you guys doing?"

"Um. nothing." Nick covered.

".Cleaning.?"

Catherine let out another louder moan, Nick and Greg averted their eyes. Sara was shocked, "This is completely inappropriate." Sara said unconvincingly pulling a chair over to the phone, "This is completely inappropriate."

"Then I'll-" Nick reached for the 'disconnect' button.

"Touch it and die!" Sara snapped.

"Ooh! Don't stop!" She insisted urgently, "I'm sooo close!"

Warrick walked by, "What are you three up to now?"

Greg giggled and Nick said, "Catherine's christening her new office."

"Oh-oh-oh! Yes!" Catherine moaned.

"With who?"

"Does it matter?" Greg demanded, "Sounds like she's getting the fuck of a lifetime."

They listened to Catherine's panting return to normal. "Wait till the others find out about us, they're just going to die!"

"Dude! Maybe it's a woman!" Nick exclaimed.

"Dude! That would be so hot!" Greg was ecstatic.

"What is it about two women that gets you guys off?" Sara asked annoyedly.

"What is it about two women that gets you off, Sara?" Nick asked teasingly,

"Shut-up!"

"Someone's still in the closet." Greg whispered conspicuously to Warrick. Warrick had a laugh at Sara's expense.

"Come on, let's lay off Sara." Nick reasoned, "What's really important here is that Catherine's getting off in her office."

"Ohhhh! My God!"

Nick, Warrick and Greg leaned closer to the intercom. Sara rolled her eyes but tried to lean closer without the boys noticing. They were otherwise occupied.

"Don't you dare stop!" Catherine whined, "I'm not done!"

"Catherine, I have paperwork to do. Save some for our date."

Nick, Warrick, Greg and Sara's jaws hit the floor when they heard the all too familiar voice of their supervisor.

Catherine giggled and purred, "I've got the usual equipment. You bring the whipped cream."

"Do I ever forget the whipped cream?"

"No."

Then there was silence. The four CSIs stood there astonished, no one knowing what to say exactly. Grissom walked by, saw them and stopped. He raised an eyebrow at them, "What are you doing?"

"Um." Sara stuttered, "Nothing."

"Don't you have something you could be doing?"

"Oh. yeah," Nick swiveled around and picked up a piece of paper, "Just finishing my report."

"Warrick?"

"Oh, yeah," he rubbed his neck, "I gotta head out, I."

"Fingerprints." Greg walked off hurriedly.

"Sara, are you ok? You look flushed, are you running a fever?" Grissom looked concerned.

"I just have to get home and take a shower," She was desperate to get out of there, "I'll be fine."

Nick caught her on the way out, "Hot?"

"Shut-up!"

"Someone's got the hots for Catherine!"

Catherine walked by, "What?" she asked innocently. "Did I hear my name?"

"Um, yeah," Sara averted her eyes, "I was coming to congratulate you on your promotion."

"Are you ok?" Catherine maneuvered to look her in the face but she kept moving.

"Yeah, gotta go," she hurried off.

"Wait up, Sar, I'll walk you out!" Nick called and ran after her.

"Almost ready?" Gil asked Catherine putting a hand on her arm.

"I appreciate this."

"It's not a problem."

"Lindsey really likes Ice Cream Sundae Fridays. It's like in her hard teenage kid life there's that ray of sunshine when she gets ice cream, because I'm such a mean mother and don't let her eat ice cream every day."

"Don't want to be late," he ushered her out of the room. They walked in silence to the Tahoe, "By the way, I brought two whipped creams. One for Lindsey and one for us."

"You never disappoint, Mr. Grissom."

la fin