Visible Scars

Catherine sat at her vanity staring disdainfully at her reflection. There was a knock on the door that she was expecting. "Come in," she said just loud enough for the knocker to hear her.

Grissom entered the room. Upon seeing Catherine's battered appearance his blood began to boil in his veins. "Catherine, I,"

"Don't talk," she said to silence him. She never took her eyes away from the mirror. She picked up a bottle of rubbing alcohol and wet a cotton ball with its contents. She dabbed at her split lip, she winced. She threw the cotton ball away and wet another dabbing at the cut on her cheek. She sniffed back a tear and continued to patch herself up.

Grissom watched silently.

She extracted a bottle of concealor and began to apply the make-up to her face. Within a minute the black eye, cut lip and the cut on her cheek had vanished. She opened up her lipstick and applied it slowly to her lips. She ran a brush through her mussed up hair. She set the brush down and sighed heavily.

"Cath…"

"I wanted you to see that."

"I-" He stuttered, unsure of what to say or do, "How long has he been-?"

"Hitting me?" She asked her eyes lowered.

"Yeah,"

"A while."

"I didn't know." Grissom said softly.

She stood and turned to him, "No one does. I do a good job of hiding it."

"Cath, I… How can I help?"

"That's very sweet, but…"

"I want to help you." He stated. He felt her thread her fingers through his, "Catherine?"

"Shh…" She whispered against his lips as she pressed her lips against his. Grissom held back but Catherine was persistent. Catherine's hands rubbed up and down his sides.

"You're married." He protested.

"Fuck Eddie!" Catherine cried angrily. "You think he gives a flying fuck about me? You think he does this to me because he loves me?"

"Catherine…"

"Gil…" her tone softened. "I called you, because I knew you would help me. But if you're not going to… I'm sorry I made you come all the way done here."

"I wanted to come…" Grissom took Catherine's hand in his gently, "You're my best friend. No, you're more than that. You'll always be more than that… you're everything to me."

Catherine's lips found his again, this time the kiss was mutual. Catherine moaned into the kiss as Grissom allowed Catherine's tongue to explore his mouth. Catherine sucked his bottom lip into her mouth. He slipped his eyes shut and moaned involuntarily.

She pushed him back towards the bed. Not expecting it to be that close Grissom bumped the edge and with the help of Catherine fell back on it. His hands gripped her thighs as she unbuttoned his shirt.

After ridding him of his shirt she kissed and licked her way to the waist of his pants. She slowly unzippered his pants and pulled them down until he was laying on her bed in nothing but his boxers.

She sat up, sitting on his calves, she unbuttoned her blouse and threw it haphazardly behind her. Reaching around to her back she unfastened her bra and tossed it onto his chest.

She closed her eyes as her hand rubbed sensually over her breasts. First one, then the other, pinching her nipples to firmness. Grissom felt his erection press against the cotton confine of his boxers. When he squirmed underneath her, she looked down at him and smiled her beautifully crooked smile. She quickly rid herself of the rest of her clothes and helped Grissom out of his boxers.

Catherine pulled Grissom up to give him a long sensual kiss. She grasped his erection and began to rub her hand up and down slowly. Grissom moaned, "Oh God, Cath…"

Catherine rose up slightly and lowered herself onto him. She moaned as she rose up and thrust down again. She started to go harder and faster, "Gil!" She cried.

"Cath…"

Catherine felt a flush in her cheeks as she started to tighten around him. She whimpered as she was hit with a powerful orgasm. She threw her head back and moaned, "Oh Gil!" over and over again like a mantra.

This pushed Grissom over the edge as he spilled inside her, "Oh Catherine!"

She collapsed onto his chest. As they panted and came down from their orgasms, Grissom kissed her forehead.

Catherine sat in the living room looking apathetically over a copy of the local newpaper. She heard the front door slam.

"Catherine!" Eddie roared as he tore through the house. He stopped in the living room, staring menacingly at Catherine. Catherine glanced up annoyedly at him before returning to her reading. "Catherine!"

"You don't have to shout, I'm right here." He grabbed her by the shirt collar and pulled her to her feet. "get the fuck off of me, Eddie!"

"He was here."

"Who?"

"Don't give me that bull-shit, Catherine, you know who!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She shook her head.

He raised his hand and slapped her across the face, "He was here. Tell me he was here."

Her nostrils flared in anger and she gritted her teeth, "Yes, he was here! He was here and I fucked him! I fucked him in our bed! I fucked his brains out! Are you fucking happy now?" He threw her to the floor roughly. Catherine was not down for the count.

"You little whore! That's all you'll ever be!"

"I'd rather be a whore than an asshole, *Eddie*!"

"Don't you dare call me-"

"What? An asshole? You don't like being called an asshole? Son of a bitch, any better? Coward? You're a coward Eddie! You always have been, hitting women. We both know you couldn't win a fight any other way. You're nothing but a weak, feable, pathetic excuse for a man."

He extended his fist to swing at her but she grabbed the lamp from the side table and swung it at his head with all her might. The glass shattered into a million pieces and rained down onto the carpet. Eddie clutched his head in pain. "You bitch! You fucking bitch!"

"Don't fuck with me, Eddie." She warned.

The cheerful melody of the doorbell sounded throughout the house. The Willows threw confused glances at each other before their gazes settled on the front door.

Catherine strode over to the door and opened it slowly. A uniformed policeman stood on her front poorch, "Can I help you?" Catherine asked nonchalantly.

The officer looked Catherine over for a second, "Um… We got a complaint about a disturbance over here. The neighbors said they heard shouting, just checking everything out."

"Oh," Catherine said, "Well, we're fine, but thank you for the concern."

She started to close the door but the officer stuck his foot in the door, "Is your husband home? May I speak with him?"

Catherine sighed defeatedly and opened the door for the officer. "Come in, he's in the living room."

"Thank you,"

"Careful of the glass," She warned as she heard the crunch of broken glass under his feet.

"Oh sorry," he apologized.

"Hi there," Eddie extended a hand to the officer.

"You folks ok?"

"Just a little lovers quarrel, nothing to make a big deal over." Eddie shrugged.

"My husband, broke the lamp. It was a family heirloom. I was very upset." Catherine explained.

"Ok," The officer said, "Sorry to disturb you folks. Have a good night,"

"You too." Catherine said politely extending a small wave as she led him to the door. When she returned to the living room Eddie was quietly picking up glass shards. "You can't use your hands to pick up glass, you'll have to use the vacuum cleaner."

He set the large pieces of glass he had collected from the floor into the ashtray on the end table. "I'm sorry," he breathed.

"I'm sorry, too."

He touched her reddened cheek gently before threading his fingers through her hair and kissing her tenderly.

A month later…

Catherine sat in the bathroom on the side of the tub. She looked back at the box in her hands and then at the indicator. Pregnant. Fuck. She leaned over the bowl and threw up again, at least it explains one thing.

There was a knock on the door, "Cath?" She didn't respond, Eddie knocked harder, "Cath? You in there?"

"Be out in a moment!"

***

Catherine sat in the breakroom with her face in her hands. Grissom put a delicate hand on her shoulder.

She didn't look up, she didn't have to. "I thought you left."

"I thought you did."

"Well, I obviously didn't." She snapped.

"Well, neither did I." He said softly pulling a chair up next to her. "Cath?"

"What?" She asked exasperatedly looking up at him for the first time. He narrowed his eyes at her in sympathy.

"You're crying."

She wiped at her face, "No shit. It's a wonder you're only a CSI and not a detective."

"That's not necessary."

"Neither is this."

"What?" Grissom cocked his head to the side in confusion, "Ow!" He exclaimed. "You kicked me?"

"Suck it up, I'm pissed off!"

"At what? What did I do? I was trying to be nice!" He jumped up from his seat defensively afraid of another onslaught from Catherine's heels.

"I'm pregnant!" She screamed.

"Oh…" He sunk back down into his seat. "Is it… uh… am I the, uh…"

"I don't know."

"When was the conception?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask." She stood abruptly, startling Grissom, "Does it fucking matter?"

He sighed.

"I'm getting a paternity test." She sat back down, calmer now.

"Does Eddie know?"

"Yeah," she said quietly, almost in a whisper. "He's pissed."

"He knew about us?"

She chuckled, "Yeah." She looked down at her hands, "I'm uh, going to need a DNA sample…"

"Do you have a warrant?" She turned to him slowly, a smile threatening to break out. He smiled at her, luring her smile out. He drew her into a hug. She closed her eyes laying her head on his shoulder. They remained silent for a moment, "I just want you to know that no matter what happens… I'm always going to be here for you."

She squeezed him tighter, letting a tear stream down her cheek. "I know."

A Week or two later…

It had been a while since Catherine has asked him for his sample… he knew it would take up to a week. He didn't know when she submitted it either, though… More than anything he was hoping that the baby could be his so he could be her knight in shining armor. Scoop her up in his arms and save her from Eddie.

Grissom paced in the living room nervously pondering the other consequences Catherine might have to suffer if the baby was indeed his and not Eddie's. Not wanting to think about that he forced it out of his mind. Not able to think about anything else he started to think about baby names.

Lindsey. He liked that name, it was his mother's. If he had a daughter he'd want to name her after his mother. He smiled thinking about it. All the things that he and his daughter could do together. He could teach her all about the butterflies, the moths, the catepillars. Christmases and birthdays flashed through his mind. He was getting giddy just thinking about it all!

When the phone rang he nearly jumped right out of his skin. He picked up the phone sans grace and held it to his ear, hoping to sound normal, "H-Hello?"

"Gil?" The soft voice on the other end carressed his ear.

"Catherine! Did you get the results?"

"I, uh… have to go now to get them now… I don't want to go alone…"

"Say no more Cath!" Grissom said excitedly putting his coat on, "I'll be right there! Don't move!"

***

Grissom held Catherine's hand as they walked into the waiting room. She was shaking and Grissom wrapped his arm around her firmly as to steady her.

Grissom pulled her into a seat, she grasped at his hands with both of hers. She closed her eyes and her whole body heaved. "Nervous?" Grissom asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Unbearably." She confirmed. "I hope… I don't know what I hope… on the one hand, Eddie's my husband… and on the other hand he's still my husband."

"Have you thought about names?" He asked trying to lighten the mood.

"If it's a girl, I'm going to name her Lindsey."

"That was my-"

"Your mother's name, I know." She smiled meekly at him. "Oh god! My heart is pounding so hard!"

"What are you going to do if I'm the father?" He asked tentatively.

She shrugged, "I haven't figured that out yet." She paused, "I figured I'd cross that bridge if I came to it."

"I'm here for you no matter what."

"I know." Catherine said taking another long calming breath. Didn't help.

"Mrs. Willows?" A nurse stepped out and looked over the crowd searchingly.

Catherine clenched her eyes shut, "Holy shit!" Catherine's heart seemed to stop, not only was it not pounding anymore it didn't seem to be beating at all. "I can't do this!"

"I'll look if you want me to."

"No!" Catherine opened her eyes, "Ok, I'm ok… I can do this… I think I can… No! I can do this!"

She walked toward the nurse who smiled warmly at her, "Are you Catherine Willows?" Catherine nodded, it was all she could manage. "There's a lot of technical mumbo jumbo at the top and if need be, the bottom is in layman's terms."

She nodded, "Thank you." She took the offered paper. Scanning briefly over the technical terms and down to the very bottom. Her breath caught in her throat. She took a deep breath and looked up at Grissom who watched her expectantly. She looked back down at the paper again, taking in another deep breath.

"Well?"

She looked down at the bottom line. There it was. Plain as day. Grissom was the father. She looked up at him and whispered, "Eddie."

Present day…

Grissom and Catherine were standing in the hallway talking about a recent case when Catherine heard, "Mom!" and turned in time to see Lindsey run down the hall.

"Hey Sweetie?" Catherine looked on confused. "Where's Aunt Nancy? What time is it?"

"It's 6:30. I asked her to drop me off here."

"Oh…" She hugged her, "Good to see you, baby."

"Hi Uncle Gil!" Lindsey flashed her smile at Grissom.

"Hey kiddo, how are you doing? I haven't seen you in almost a month!"

"I've missed you." She said as he hugged her fondly.

"Hey I got a new butterfly." Lindsey's eyes lit up, "Wanna see it?"

"Need you ask?"

"Come on," Grissom and Lindsey hurried excitedly towards his office and Catherine couldn't help but smile.

She was about to follow them when Greg approached her, "Hey Catherine, could you help me for a second?"

She looked down the hallway before back to Greg, "Sure."

Inside Grissom's office Grissom pulled a shadow box out from his desk. "Here it is. It's a Polygonia interrogationis."

"It's beautiful." Lindsey breathed touching the glass gently. After admiring it she breathed on the fingerprints and wiped them clean with her sleeve. "But the papilio rutulis is still my favorite." She pointed to the yellow butterfly with black stripes that made Lindsey think of lightning bolts.

"Would you like it?" He asked picking it up and offering it to her.

"What? Are you serious?"

"It's almost your birthday, right?"

"In like seven months."

"Call it a late Christmas present." He motioned for her to take it, which she finally did.

"You're so good to me." She held the box tightly, almost afraid it might disappear. "My school is having a father's day, where the dads come in and talk about what they do… it's so elementary school, but…"

"But it still hurts to admit you don't have a dad." Grissom said knowingly.

"Yeah and I was kind of wondering… I mean, I know that you guys work nights and all but would it be way too much to ask if… I asked you to speak to my class?"

A wave of pride washed over Grissom and he smiled. "I'd love to!"

"Oh my god! Thank you!" Lindsey sighed a relieved sigh and smiled at him again.

Catherine walked into the room in time to hear Grissom say, "I'd love to speak to your class for father's day!"

Her heart stopped. She let out an involuntary gasp. Grissom and Lindsey looked up at her with identically confused expressions. She gasped again. It's a dream! She thought. She slapped herself in the face, again, other cheek, again, harder! "Ow!"

"Mom… I'm sure you're weird in front of your friends all the time. But, uh…"

"Excuse me!" She threw over her shoulder as she rushed out of the room. She ran straight into Sara.

The two women collided with extreme force and with a surprised cry and a "uhh" that implied one or both of the women just had the wind knocked out of them. Either way Catherine and Sara both ended up on the floor.

"What is your problem?" Sara demanded.

"Don't push my buttons right now, Sara." Catherine warned.

"Your buttons? Some nerve! You just knock me down in the middle of the hallway and you find a way to blame it on me! I love it!"

"Seriously, don't fuck with me right now." She stood and continued down the hall.

"Come back here! I'm not finished!" Sara said but it all blended into the background. Catherine's head was spinning. It had been ages since Catherine had even thought about the fact that Grissom was Lindsey's biological father… it was so easy to push out of one's memory.

Catherine could hardly get a grip on where she was, she was starting to get lightheaded. Her breath was coming in intervals that were few and far between and she couldn't breathe.

Why? Why is this happening? NOW after ALL these years? Son of a bitch! She thought angrily as her last coherent thought before she passed out.

Catherine's eyes opened slowly. Her head was pounding with a monstrous head-ache. She sat up leaning on her arm. She groaned, upon feeling the headache worsen. She blinked a couple of times. She was not expecting THESE sourroundings…

What she remembered… she remembered the lab, Lindsey ran in… things got fuzzy after that. Now she was here in her bedroom. It was all very confusing.

The door slowly opened, "You're up." Grissom smiled closing the door behind him.

"I'm in my bedroom. . ."

"Yes."

"*You're* in my bedroom. . ."

He glanced about then back to Catherine, "Yup."

"Why?"

"Lindsey was at the lab and-" It all came flooding back to her. She remembered why she had been so upset and she remembered that she had to be in panic mode. She jumped up off of her bed. Grissom had continued talking while Catherine wasn't listening and was surprised when she jumped up, "What is it, Cath?"

She sits down at the vanity. "Do you remember…"

"What?"

"The day that you took me to the hospital to get the paternity test results?"

"Of course!"

"And when I told you Eddie was the father?"

". . . yes."

She took a deep breath and turned away from Grissom, "I lied." She mumbled.

"What?!" he demanded.

She turned to him, "I lied!" she screamed.

Grissom's brain threatened to shut down on him. "Why?" His breathing was more labored. "Why did you do that to me?" He buried his face in his hands and turned away from Catherine.

She rose and went to him, placing a hand on his arm. He pulled away angrily. "Gil. . . I didn't realize it was that important to you."

"You didn't ask." He snapped, "I can't believe you've let me go 14 years thinking that Lindsey was Eddie's daughter. She's my daughter Catherine! I would think I'd be entitled to know!"

"Yeah, she's my daughter, too!" Catherine raged. "I was married to Eddie. You have to understand that!" She pleaded.

He remained silent. So she continued, "Do you not realize how much that would have fucked my life up?"

"You consider the day you called me over and we made love to be the exact day that you fucked your life up?" He was having trouble processing everything.

"No, I know that I fucked myself over with the stripping, the cocaine, the abusive husband and all the other shit. But. . ." She shook her head, "That was not my proudest moment, no."

"Do you wish it had never happened?"

"Yes!" She cried. Grissom looked hurt, "Gil, I cheated on my husband!"

"So what was it to you? Just a fuck to make yourself feel better?"

"What was it to *you*?"

He shook his head, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "It was special to me, Catherine." He said softly, "It was special because. . . because I love you."

He brushed past her and out the room. Before she could process this new insight he was gone and she looked out the window to see him get into his Tahoe. She wanted to run out to him, she wanted there to be something to say that would make everything better. Unfortunately there were no words.

Grissom sat in his townhouse. He felt like his heart was broken into a million tiny pieces. He always thought that Catherine felt something for him. He had just been waiting for the day she would invite him into her bed again, everything would be OK. But it was all a lie. Everything Catherine ever said to him, ever did for him. . . all lies.

And now Lindsey's his daughter after all these years? No fucking wonder she called her Lindsey! It was an act of contrition. Did it make her feel better? He hoped not. He'd had his heart broken once before when she told him he wasn't going to be a father. ..

He wanted to hit something. But what? He was interrupted by the doorbell. He opened the front door to see Catherine. Before he could protest to her presence she chirped, "Let me say something?"

"Come in." He let out a defeated sigh.

The door was closed behind her. "Ok," she took a deep breath. "I don't even know where to begin. . ."

"Start with the part you ripped my heart from my chest and threw it down the garbage disposal!"

"That's not fair!"

"Not fair? What the hell do you know about fair?!" He demanded, "Do you have any idea how badly I wanted Lindsey to be my daughter? I had. . . daydreams of birthdays, Christmases, school science fairs. I wanted her to be my daughter *so* badly!"

"I was married."

"I realize that. I saw it as my opportunity to save you from Eddie."

"I didn't need saving from Eddie."

"You needed saving from yourself."

She looked down at her feet.

He went on, "I've sat by and watched you for so many years. I've seen you break down more times than I'm sure you'd like to admit. I've seen you at your worst and at your best. I've seen you sink into despondency and it pained me. It pained me that I was powerless to help you."

"You could've-"

"You wouldn't hear it. You pushed me out."

"I pushed YOU out?"

"Yes, you did!"

"Well I really don't see what I can do to make up for it now." Catherine admitted, "What's done is done. . . I was actually expecting it to never come up again. I don't really know what I was thinking. I had a difficult decision to be made and I made it. Every time I think back on that day. . . I regret it. I regret lying to you. I regret marrying and staying with Eddie. . . The only thing I wouldn't do differently was the night we spent together. I was thinking, that wasn't the day I fucked my life up. That was the day I gained perspective."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched him for a response. "Don't cry," he said finally, handing her a box of tissues.

She took one and wiped at her wet eyes. "Oh, Gil, I'm so sorry!" She sobbed, "I don't know how I could ever hope to make it up to you. . ."

"Well, you can start by being completely honest with me from here on in. How do you feel about me? About 'us'?"

"I love you." She breathed, "I fell in love with you the day you brought me to the hospital. I loved you before, but that was the point where I knew I was *in* love with you. I would like nothing more for there to be an 'us.' You. . . me. . . Lindsey. . .

"Oh god, Lindsey. . ." Catherine thought with a sudden surge of panic, "She has to be told. . . she's going to be more mad at me than you were. . . How am I going to tell her?"

"How are *we* going to tell her?"

The Tahoe sped down the highway at an almost unbelievable speed. Catherine gripped at the door, "Gil!" She cried in fright.

"Buckle up, Cath, I'm going to take a shortcut." He pulled off the main road and down a side road that twisted and turned so often and suddenly Catherine was starting to feel nauseous. "What time is it?"

"Eleven-twenty."

"We've got ten minutes."

"We won't make it, it takes me thirty minutes to get there on a good day!"

He smiled, "Oh we'll make it!" He said pressing harder on the gas pedal.

"Gil! I think I'm going to be sick!"

"It's ok, it's your car."

"Gil!" She covered her face in a panic as Grissom slammed on his breaks. She looked up and sighed.

"We're here." He said leaning back against the seat.

She put her hand over her heart, "I think you just took 10 years off my life!"

He opened his door and crossed to her side to let her out. She took his hand and slid off the seat. She looked up at the Las Vegas public middle school building. "Shall we?"

***

"Where's your Dad, Lindsey?" Amanda Johnson asked Lindsey pointedly. "I bet he's not coming."

"He's coming!" She snapped, "He promised."

"Well, Lindsey, if your Dad doesn't get here soon we'll have to move on." Mrs. Phelan told her sympathetically.

***

Catherine ran up the stairs with Grissom at her heels. "It's this one," she called pushing open the door.

"Mom!" Lindsey cried excitedly.

"Hey sweetie." Catherine smiled while trying to catch her breath.

Grissom appeared at her side and Lindsey's smile grew, "Dad!"

Grissom winked at her, "Hey sweetie."

"Welcome to our class, Mr. Uh, Willows?"

"Grissom." Grissom walked to the front of the class, "Thank you for having me."

***

"How's the ice cream sweetness?" Catherine asked, licking her own chocolate ice cream cone. Lindsey was sitting across the table from her and Grissom was sitting next to her, his hand resting gently on her thigh.

"It's good,"

"What flavor is that again?"

"Peppermint."

"Can I taste it?" She held it out to her and Catherine stuck out her finger and extracted some ice cream. "Mmm, that's good. Maybe I'll try that next time."

Lindsey looked down at the table, "Thanks for coming today, Uncle Gil, and uh. . . sorry I called you 'dad' I guess I was caught up in the moment. . ."

"I was glad to come, and it certainly didn't bother me that you called me Dad." He said truthfully taking another bite of his banana split sundae.

"Actually. . ." Catherine began cautiously. "There's something I need to tell you, Linds."

"Catherine, is this really the place?"

"What?" Lindsey asked worriedly, "Is something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing like that. . . not really." Catherine insisted, "Guess it depends on how you look at it."

"What?"

"How would you like Uncle Gil to be your dad?"

"Are you two getting married?" Lindsey cried excitedly.

"I think we'll date first," Catherine smiled and turned to Grissom, "But I'm not ruling it out as a possibility."

Grissom returned her smiled and kissed her forehead, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"That's so cool! Can I call you Dad?"

"Please do!" Grissom nodded quickly.

"There's more. . ." Catherine said approaching the subject cautiously. "How would you feel about Uncle Gil *really* being your Dad?"

"Like. . . he's going to adopt me?" She asked confusedly.

"No, not exactly."

"I'm confused."

"Well certain events have come to light and. . . he's *really* your father." Catherine said, relieved she had finally said it.

Lindsey's jaw dropped open in shock, "What?"

"What do you mean he *is* my father?"

"I mean, we. . . spent a night together 14 years ago and consequently. . . You are his daughter. Not Eddie's."

"So, Eddie isn't my father?"

"No, but he thought he was. . . I told him he was,"

"Why?" She demanded angrily.

"I was *married*! Why is everyone so quick to ignore that?" Catherine demanded, "It wasn't as easy as you all think! It wasn't, 'oh Gil is the father, now I can leave Eddie and we can live happily ever after!' It just doesn't work like that!"

Catherine stood and threw her napkin down on the table. "Catherine!" Grissom reached up and grabbed for her hand. She pulled away and was out of sight in a matter of seconds.

"I can't believe she didn't tell me! I can't believe she's lied to me and thinks *she* has a right to be mad!" Lindsey raged.

"She does."

"How do you figure?" She demanded, "She lied to you, too!"

"She was married, it's a very good point. And Eddie. . . wouldn't have taken to kindly to your patronage." Grissom shook his head.

Lindsey looked down embarassedly at the table again, "Oh, you mean he would've. . . hurt her?"

"Probably." Grissom confirmed.

"Oh man, I was a real jerk, wasn't I?"

"I was too when she told me and she still loves me." Grissom assured, "And besides. You do have a right to be mad, too."

"I feel so bad. . ."

"Well, let's go find your mother and do something to make it up to her."

"Like what?"

"Roses,"

"And chocolates?"

"She'll complain about being fat- which she's not, but she'll worry about her figure." Grissom stopped to ponder.

"Jewelry?"

"Oh you're good!"

"Like a ring?"

"Yeah," Grissom's eyes lit up, "Like a diamond ring."

"Like an engagement ring?" Lindsey asked, "But she said,"

"But it isn't out of the question. It can be a promise ring. A promise that I'll wait for her and that maybe even though we're not engaged, she's still mine."

"Aw, that's so fluffy. I think you'll be lucky if she doesn't gag out loud!"

***

Catherine sat on the couch, her head in her hands. She didn't bother to fight back the tears. She realized that maybe lying to Grissom wasn't the brightest of all ideas and Lindsey did have a right to know and maybe she shouldn't have waited so long. . . but damn it! It was her decision to make! What would they have done??

It seemed to Catherine that all she ever did was cry. Eddie made her cry, her parents made her cry, Grissom made her cry, Lindsey made her cry. What the fuck don't I cry over? God! She wiped at her face. "I don't deserve this,"

She stood and walked into the kitchen and took a diet pepsi out from the fridge. "I deserve everything I get." Catherine said sadly, "I deserve it because I'm a horrible person."

"You're not a horrible person."

Catherine spun around startled. "Linds? Gil?" She wiped at her face, "What are you. . . I didn't hear you come in. . . I. . ."

"You deserve better, Cath," Grissom stepped up to her and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "You're a wonderful person."

Lindsey walked to her mother and hugged her tightly, "I love you, Mom."

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"Never doubt, never look back, right?" Catherine smiled at her daughter and squeezed her tighter.

"I love you, sweetie."

"We come bearing gifts," Lindsey squeaked, "And if it's all the same to you, I'd like to breathe,"

"Sorry sweetie." Catherine let go of her daughter, chuckling to herself.

Grissom pulled Catherine down onto the couch with him. "Do you remember when I told you, a long long time ago, that no matter what I would always be there for you?"

"Yeah."

"I haven't been doing much of that lately and I'm sorry,"

"Gil-"

He put a hand to her lips to silence her, "Let me finish, Cath," He smiled at her and felt her smile into his fingers, "It was your decision to make and whether or not I liked it was none of my business, you had every right to do what you did. It was your decision and I'm sorry I didn't respect that."

"Gil, it was a bad decision. . . I shouldn't have-"

He shook his head, "That isn't important now." He brushed her hair from her face and continued, "What matters is that we're here now and we love you."

"That's right!" Lindsey chimed in.

He slipped a ring onto her finger. She looked down at it and her breath caught in her throat, "Gil, I thought. . . we were going to date first." She smiled.

"We are. This is a promise ring. My promise to you, and to Lindsey," he winked at his daughter, damn that was an awesome thing to think, "is that I will always be here for you. I'll be here whenever you need me. When you're ready for this to be an engagement ring then it'll be an engagement ring. But one way or the other this ring means you're mine. And you always will be,"

She leaned her head against his, smiling whistfully, "I always have been." She breathed, their lips almost touching. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Gil. . . I love you."

Their lips met in a chaste kiss. Soon they felt Lindsey wrap her arms around the two of them, "I could get used to this." She said causing Gil and Catherine to laugh and draw her into a hug.

***

"Whoa! Cath!" Nick exclaimed, "Sweet rock!"

Sara's eyes practically fell out of her head, "Who'd you find crazy enough to get you *that*?" She demanded.

Glaring sideways at Sara, she responded, "I know that respect is an alien concept to you, but try to control yourself."

Sara rolled her eyes at Catherine.

"Come on, Cath," Warrick prodded, "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Do we know him?" Nick asked.

Sara stalked off somewhere to pout, no one noticed. Or rather, they didn't care. Grissom walked into the room and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Catherine looked up at Grissom and smiled, "I don't kiss and tell, boys."