Author’s note: This is the third chapter in a series that I only thought would last a few pages. Many thanks to all of you who sent me feedback about this couple. Who knew there were so many people who, like me, wanted to see Justin and Ben together? As always, kudos to Desi, my inspiration and part-time muse.

Between Friends - Chapter 3

by Cathy

The trip home that night was as guilt-free as any I’d had since this whole situation had begun. Justin was right - we weren’t doing anything wrong, despite what Michael chose to think about us.

It was too late to call him. Besides, I didn’t know where he was, exactly. I’d wait until tomorrow and go see him at the store. I’d take him some jelly doughnuts from the pastry shop on Liberty Avenue and we’d talk.

When I entered my apartment, the light was on; I was sure I’d turned it off. I found Michael in my bedroom, stuffing shirts and underwear into an overnight bag. He didn’t give any indication that he even heard me. ‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m getting all my shit out of here.’ He didn’t turn around. ‘I wanted to be out before you got home.’

‘Were you afraid I was bringing Justin home?’ His head jerked around; maybe he was trying to see if I was kidding. He didn’t answer me, though. ‘Michael,’ I walked up behind him but I didn’t touch him.

He walked quickly toward the bathroom. ‘He’s definitely cuter than me. I can understand why you’d want to fuck him instead of--’

‘I am *not* fucking him!’ I was yelling, but I didn’t care. ‘To be perfectly honest, I haven’t been fucking anyone since you abandoned me to go and live with Brian!’

‘Brian is going through hell right now!’ He stopped at the bathroom door and looked at me. ‘I should have known that you were lying when you told me you understood!’ His face was a mask of pain.

I took a breath to calm myself. ‘I wasn’t lying, Michael. I *do* understand, but how can you try to help him when he doesn’t seem to want to help himself?’

‘Fuck you, Ben!’ Michael was still yelling. ‘Fuck your snobby intelligence and all your talk about making every minute count. Fuck the way you treat me like I’m twelve years old!’ We’d made it across the room to the door.

‘Michael…’ I put my hand on the doorknob to prevent him from leaving. ‘Please don’t leave me - not when you’re angry. We don’t have to discuss it tonight, if you don’t want to. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?’

When he looked back at me, the hard look on his face seemed to be softening. ‘Where would I sleep? On the couch?’

‘I’d like you to sleep in bed, with me. I promise I won’t rape you in your sleep.’ I walked toward the bedroom and I hoped he was following me.

I was taking off my clothes when the phone rang. ‘I’ll get it!’ Michael called, from the kitchen. ‘It’s probably Brian, checking up on me. Hello?’ he spoke into the receiver as he walked into the bedroom. ‘Why aren’t you asleep yet? Did you ever--’ He was silent for a few seconds, listening. ‘No, it’s Michael. What the fuck are you doing calling him in the middle of the night?’ Another pause. ‘Yeah? Well, you can take your friendship and shove it up your ass, you little cocksucker!’ He slammed the phone down and started dressing.

‘What…?’ I didn’t need him to tell me who was.

‘That was your new little boyfriend on the phone!’ When he looked at me, he had pure hate in his eyes. ‘Let me give you some privacy so you can call him back!’ He threw the phone at me, grabbed his overnight bag and headed for the door.

‘Michael!’ I called after him. I made it to the living room just in time to see the front door slam.

The phone was ringing again by the time I got back to the bedroom. ‘Yeah?’

‘Ben? It’s Justin. I’m sorry--’

‘You don’t have to apologize, Justin.’

‘Yeah, but--’

‘I really don’t want to talk about it.’

There was a slight pause. ‘Okay. Would you call me tomorrow? Maybe we can get together and talk?’

‘Sure.’ The last thing I wanted to do was talk, but I appreciated that he cared enough to be worried. ‘What time do you work?’

‘Eleven.’

‘Do you want to have breakfast? Before?’

‘I don’t eat breakfast.’

‘Okay. What time do you get off?’

‘Six. Do you wanna take another shot at getting a hamburger?’

I laughed in spite of myself. ‘I’d love to. I’ll pick you up at the diner.’

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I debated going to see Michael, but decided not to. His store is a public place, which was a good thing, but there was no telling when Brian might show up. I thought I could face Michael, but I couldn’t face the two of them together.

I busied myself all day with grading papers and planning lectures - not very exciting but I got a lot done.

I arrived at the diner a little before six. I considered waiting for Justin outside, but decided to go in. Debbie wasn’t there, which was a slight relief. I’m sure she already knew what happened between her son and me and I wasn’t in the mood to talk to her about it.

I sat down at the counter and waited for Justin. ‘You’re early.’ He wiped his hands on his apron as he came in from the kitchen. ‘I’ll be finished in a few minutes.’

‘Take your time,’ I smiled. I knew I had this stupid grin on my face, but I couldn’t help it. I was very glad that I hadn’t called and canceled on him at the last minute. As I watched him move around the room, it was almost like I’d never seen him before.

I was hanging up my cell phone when he walked over to where I was sitting. His apron was gone. ‘Okay. I’m free.’ He threw his hands up. ‘What weird restaurant do you want to take me to tonight?’

‘Actually, I just called and ordered Chinese take out. Is that okay?’

‘Sure.’ He started toward the door and I followed him. ‘Where do you want to eat?’

‘My place.’

After a quick stop at the best little Chinese restaurant in Pittsburgh, we arrived at my building. Justin helped me carry the bags into the kitchen. ‘Is there anything here that I can eat?’ He was kidding.

‘Listen, I didn’t poison you at that Thai restaurant, did I?’ I started pulling plates out of the cabinet as Justin opened the cartons.

‘No, that satay stuff was pretty good.’

‘Here,’ I filled the plates and handed them to Justin, ‘take these to the table.’ I followed him with a bottle of wine and glasses. As he sat down, I lit candles and turned a couple of the brightest lights off.

He looked around. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I often dine by candlelight. It helps the digestion.’

‘Oh.’ He sounded disappointed. ‘I thought you might…’

‘Might what?’ I sat down.

‘Nothing.’ He shook his head.

Once again, we chatted easily as we ate. Nothing serious was said but that was okay. Pleasant conversation during dinner was something I never get enough of.

When we finished, I stood up and picked up our plates. ‘Take the wine to the living room. I’ll be right back.’

When I returned from loading the dishwasher, Justin was sitting on the couch. The lit candles were in front of him on the coffee table and all the other lights were out. ‘I hope you don’t mind,’ he nodded in the direction of the table. ‘I like candles too.’

‘No, it’s nice.’ I sat down next to him and refilled our glasses. Holding mine up, I said, ‘To us?’

‘Us?’ He looked uncertain. ‘What does that mean?’

‘You and me. Our friendship,’ I said, quickly. ‘And to being there for each other.’

‘Oh.’ He sipped his wine, but he wasn’t looking at me.

‘Is something wrong?’ I didn’t want things to get awkward between us.

‘Wrong?’ He shifted, but he still wasn’t looking at me. ‘It’s just that…’ He was staring at the floor.

‘What?’ I moved over so my face was just in front of his. He couldn’t help but look at me. ‘If there’s anything wrong, please tell me.’

‘No.’ He took another large sip of wine. ‘It’s just that… Dinner for two… Candles… Wine… It’s kinda romantic, you know?’ He looked away again. ‘I’m being stupid.’

‘Why?’ I moved my face closer. Placing my finger under his chin, I forced him to look at me again.

‘You know…’ He tried to smile. ‘When you kissed me last night… It was…’

‘It was what? Boring? Tedious? Uncalled-for? Scary?’

‘Scary! A little.’

‘What else?’ I moved my face closer. Our lips were almost touching.

‘Nice,’ he breathed.

‘Nice?!’ I pulled my face back. ‘You’re a college student! And the only adjective you can come up with is ‘nice’?’ I laughed softly, hoping he’d get the joke.

‘Okay,’ he was laughing too. ‘What about seductive? Enticing? Sensual? Totally hot!’

Before I had a chance to reply, he moved forward and touched his lips to mine. His tongue darted into my mouth as I pulled him off balance; we tumbled together on the couch. I felt his hands move under my shirt to caress my sides and back. We broke the kiss long enough to strip our shirts off.

Justin was on top of me; I could feel his erection against my stomach as he writhed under my hands. I’d imagined that such a slim body would feel decidedly un-masculine, but I couldn’t have been more mistaken. He was totally male and he was obviously going after what he wanted: me.

‘Justin,’ I had to get control of this situation, ‘do you know what you’re doing?’

‘Uh-huh,’ he whispered into my ear. ‘Don’t you?’ Then he started sucking on my ear lobe.

‘You know what I mean…’ I pulled his face over so I could look at him. ‘There are risks, you know.’

‘I don’t care.’ He was looking at me as if *I* was the teenager. ‘I want you to make love to me.’

For several minutes, I abandoned myself to his very talented mouth and hands. I was in danger of going into a complete sensory overload. It hadn’t been that long since I’d been with anyone other than Michael, but I guess I’d gotten ‘comfortable’ with him. Not that he was a bad lover, but he often did the same things, made the same gestures in the same way. I told my self I’d learned him very well but, to be honest, his technique was almost child-like when compared with Justin’s.

When I was able to sit up, I started getting to my feet and pulling Justin after me. ‘Let’s go to bed.’

‘Wait!’ He hesitated. ‘Can we bring the candles?’

‘Sure.’ I pushed him across the room, picked up the candles and followed him.

Justin was waiting for me at the bedroom door, naked. Grabbing my pants, he pulled them down and I kicked them out of the way. We moved to the bed and he leaned his head up to kiss me again. Two sets of hands began an erotic exploration of bare skin. I sat down on the edge of the bed and untangled my mouth from his. ‘Wait,’ I grabbed a condom from the bedside table but he snatched it out of my hand.

‘Let me do it.’ He tore open the package and rolled it slowly onto my cock. I pulled him forward to sit straddling me. Our faces were almost the same height. I pulled his mouth close to mine again, sucking his tongue. His body surged forward as he wrapped his legs around my back. We thrust against each other, never relinquishing the kiss.

A few minutes later, Justin tensed and then cried out. I felt his juices against my stomach as he came. He pulled back from the kiss. ‘Shit!’ He looked at me sheepishly. ‘I-I didn’t mean to come so soon.’

‘It’s okay,’ I whispered into his ear. ‘Now I’m ready to *really* get started.’

He looked at me with surprise and then he laughed filthily. ‘Fuck me!’ he said into neck, just before biting hard. I used my weight advantage to half-push and half-throw him over on his back. I coated my finger in the fluid that was on his belly and plunged it into his hole. Jesus, he’s still very tight, I thought. He was begging me to get on with it, but I wanted to take it slow.

When I decided that I’d teased him enough - his body was trembling - I grabbed his legs and pushed them up toward my shoulders. He knew exactly what I was doing, and he lifted his ass into the air and onto my upper thighs. He was almost breathless with desire and I was right there with him. It had been a long time since anyone had made me this hot.

I pushed my dick into him, as slowly as I could. He tried to make me go faster but I resisted. When I pulled out, he groaned and tried to pull me back in. This time, I thrust in quicker, harder. I pulled out again and again, increasing the speed and intensity of each succeeding thrust. He moved his legs from my shoulders to around my back. I was as much a prisoner as he was. Leaning forward, I covered his mouth yet again. He sucked roughly on my tongue, making our connection complete.

As much as I tried to make it last, I came much too fast. Justin’s second orgasm was seconds later. We lay in the same position for a while, I think. I don’t believe I could have moved if the building caught fire.

After an undetermined amount of time, I pulled out and crawled off the bed. I ducked into the bathroom to throw the condom away and wipe myself off. When I returned to the bedroom, I dropped a wash cloth on the table. ‘Here.’

Justin opened his eyes and looked up. ‘Thanks.’ He threw the cloth on the floor when he was finished. ‘Is the wine still in the living room?’

‘Yeah, I’ll go get it.’ When I got back to the bedroom, I turned a lamp on.

‘Ouch!’ he squinted. ‘Turn it off!’

‘Okay.’ I did as I was told. ‘Can you see with just the candles?’

‘I can see everything I need to see.’ He sat up on the bed and took a glass. ‘*Now* you can make a toast to us.’

‘Why now?’ I allowed him to touch his glass to mine.

‘Because *now* there is an ‘us’ to drink to.’ He took a sip and leaned toward me. I pulled him close and cradled his head under my chin. Neither of us said anything for a minute or so. ‘What’re you thinking about?’

‘Oh, nothing much.’ I wasn’t sure I wanted to share what I was *really* thinking.

‘Are you thinking that maybe we just made a terrible mistake?’ Damn, how did he get so smart?

‘Do you think we did?’

‘No.’ He sat up and looked at me. ‘This doesn’t have to change anything between us. It’s just sex.’

‘But sex *does* change things. Even if there’s no other feelings involved.’

‘You mean, love?’ He wrinkled his nose.

‘Or friendship. Don’t you think this changes our friendship?’

He thought for several seconds. ‘Not unless we let it.’

I wanted to be like Justin and ignore all the possible bad things that could happen, but I couldn’t. ‘What about you and Ethan?’

‘What about you and Michael?’

‘He left me, last night.’

‘After he talked to me on the phone?’

I didn’t want him to feel guilty about Michael and me. ‘He was already on the way out before you called.’

We were both quiet again. ‘Ethan and I broke up last night, too, before I went to Babylon.’

‘Oh, no,’ I couldn’t say I was surprised. ‘Are you sure it’s for good?’

‘Yeah.’ He took another drink of wine. ‘I was going to ask if you’d like to help me carry some of my stuff out of his place tomorrow.’

‘Sure. Where are you moving? To your mom’s?’

‘I’m moving in with my friend, Daphne. Her parents let her get an apartment and she and her roommate said I can sleep on their couch.’

‘Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean--’

‘Yeah, it’s okay. I slept over at her house lots of times.’

‘Well,’ I decided not to try to lecture him, ‘if you ask me, you’re very lucky to have such a good friend.’

‘I *do* have great friends,’ he agreed. ‘Did Michael break up with you because he saw us at Babylon?’

‘I told you, it’s not your fault. Michael and I have been growing further and further apart since he’s been spending so much time with Brian.’

‘And I’m sure Michael blames *that* on me too.’

Suddenly, I didn’t want to talk about this any more. Yes, I thought Michael was wrong about this, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk badly about him. ‘Michael has no objectivity when it comes to Brian. You and I both know that. Just like Brian has no objectivity when it comes to you.’

‘Brian doesn’t love me.’ His voice was cold. ‘I’m not sure he ever did.’

I was afraid I’d pushed this subject about as far as I dared, but I wanted to try one more thing. ‘Then, why is he holed up in the loft, not going out? Not seeing anyone? It sounds like he’s really suffering.’

‘The only thing he’s suffering about is the fact that he didn’t get his way. Brian Kinney, Sun God, always gets his way.’

‘Do you still love him?’ I didn’t think he’d answer, but I had to ask.

‘Do you still love Michael?’ He was coming close to hitting below the belt.

‘There’s nothing I can do about Michael. He left of his own accord.’

‘There’s nothing I can do about Brian either. He had a chance to tell me he loved me, and he wouldn’t.’

I was ready to admit defeat. ‘Come on,’ I started crawling off the bed. ‘I’ll drive you home.’

‘Can’t I stay?’ He slumped down in the bed and pulled the sheet up to his chin. ‘I’ll make you pancakes for breakfast. Then we can go and pick up my stuff.’

‘Okay.’ I lay back down and pulled my teenage lover close. ‘But we still have some stuff to talk about.’

Justin drifted off a few minutes later, but I didn’t. Without disturbing him, I pulled myself up to half-sit and half-lay beside him. Every time I looked at him, I could remember what it felt like to hold him and kiss him and make love with him, but I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind that I should never have allowed this to happen.

- to be continued -