This is the 11^th - and final - chapter of my series entitled ‘My So-Called Life’. It’s based on spoilers from season 3 and it’s told entirely in Justin’s POV. I never envisioned my little spoiler story would last for over 60 pages and I enjoyed writing every single word of it. Thanks to all my friends and fellow Justin fans for the kind words and encouragement you sent to me while I worked on this project. Your support truly made this a ‘labor of love’.

At the end of this story, I typed the words ‘the end’. I’m not completely convinced that I won’t re-visit this series again at a later date; we’ll just have to see how season 3 plays out. I may feel the need to re-write Justin’s life again in the future.

The Conversation

by Cathy

I think I had that same silly smile on my face when I woke up. That is, until I looked around and realized I was alone. Closing my eyes, I buried my head in my pillow. I felt like the stupidest fucking idiot in the world. To let Brian fuck me once and run away was understandable. To let him do it a second time, and in my bed, was unforgivable.

I opened one eye and moved the pillow so I could see the clock. It was almost ten. I had to be at work at eleven. I slowly drug myself out of bed, threw my pajamas on and headed for the shower.

I didn’t see Daph until I was dressed and ready to leave for work. She was in the kitchen, pouring a glass of juice when I walked through. ‘Aren’t you going to eat breakfast? Cereal? Toast?’

I shook my head. ‘I’ll get something at the diner.’ I was still too upset to eat.

‘Do you need a ride?’

‘No,’ I answered quickly. I wanted to get away from her as fast as I could. I didn’t want her to figure out that something was wrong and start asking questions. ‘The walk will do me good.’

‘Just so you know, Greg and I are driving out to the country this afternoon. We may not be back until tomorrow.’

Pausing, I smiled at her. ‘Have fun.’

‘I would tell you to do the same, but I don’t think that’s a problem.’ She was smiling broadly. ‘Do you and Brian have plans?’

‘No, we don’t have any plans. Why would you ask a dumb question like that?’

She looked at me as if I’d slapped her. ‘Well, when I saw him this morning, I didn’t think he’d slept on the couch.’

‘You… saw him?’ Now, *I* was the one who felt like I’d been slapped.

‘Yeah. About five thirty. I got up to get a drink of water and he was sitting in here, putting his shoes on.’

I knew I shouldn’t ask anything about this, but I couldn’t help it. ‘Did he say anything?’

She thought. ‘He asked me if I still loved him,’ she grinned, ‘and I said yes. And he told me not to tell you what time he left--’ She stopped speaking abruptly. I wondered if it was because of the sad look on my face. ‘What happened, Justin?’

I couldn’t talk about this any more. ‘I’ve got to get to work, Daph. Have a great time with Greg.’ I walked out before she could say anything else.

*&*&*&*&*

I was walking up the street toward the diner when I saw Michael walking out. I could avoid him easily by cutting through the alley and going in the back door, but I didn’t. I’d never walked away from a battle in my life, and I wasn’t about to start.

He was a couple of feet away from him before he saw me. ‘What the fuck are *you* doing here?’

‘I work here,’ I said, softly, taking a step toward the door.

‘Why don’t you just disappear?’ He looked at me with such hate.

‘You first.’ I hurried inside.

Despite the fact that we were very busy, it was a good day. A lot of my personal life was common knowledge around there, but everyone had been supportive. It always made me feel better to be at the diner.

Before I knew it, it was seven; my shift was over and I could go home. Alone. I went to the back to take off my apron and get my coat. When I walked to the front, Brian was standing next to the counter. ‘Did someone take your order?’ I grabbed a ticket book and a pen.

‘I didn’t come here to eat.’ He looked around uncertainly. ‘I came to see you.’

‘Well, you’ve seen me,’ I struck a pose. ‘Now, I’m leaving.’ I turned to go.

‘Wait!’ I could barely hear him over the general noise of the customers. I paused, waiting for him to speak again. ‘I thought we could go somewhere and talk…’ He didn’t finish the sentence.

I looked back at him. ‘Oh, you mean, like we talked last night? Gee, Brian, that’s tempting, but…’ Once again, I turned away, but I didn’t leave. I don’t know why.

‘Justin… Please…’ He almost sounded forlorn.

I turned around, yet again, to face him ‘Please, what, Brian? What reason could you give me to make me want to spend another minute with you?’ For the third time, I turned away from him. This time, though, I took a step toward the door.

‘Because… I care about you. I don’t want to lose you again.’

I froze. I couldn’t look at him. ‘What did you say?’

He didn’t say anything more, but neither did anyone else. The entire diner had fallen silent and they were all staring at us.

I was finally able to look at Brian. His face was serious. ‘Can we get out of here, please?’ I asked. ‘Now?’ I tried to sound casual, but I’m not sure I succeeded.

Brian nodded, but didn’t say anything. As we started walking toward the door, I could hear murmuring beginning behind us.

We’d made it to the Jeep when I stopped. ‘Before we drive off, I’d like to know where we’re we going. Someplace where we won’t be tempted to…’

‘Right.’ I was sure he knew what I was talking about. ‘I don’t know.’ He scratched his head. ‘I suppose the loft is out.’

‘Yes,’ I said slowly.

He nodded. ‘There’s not a square foot in that place that we haven’t--’

‘Yeah.’ I interrupted before he had a chance to go into the details of what we’d done.

His face lit up. ‘What about your apartment?’

‘What about last night?’ I reminded him.

‘Oh.’ He thought some more. ‘We can ask Daphne to sit with us.’

‘No,’ I said. ‘She already knows too much about my private life. Besides,’ I remembered, ‘she’s gone out to the country with her new boyfriend.’

He looked at me. ‘Are we a little jealous of Daphne’s love life?’ I hoped he was teasing.

‘*No*, we are not jealous.’ I felt like I had to justify my comment. ‘He’s nice enough, but he seems to be a little too eager to get into her pants.’

Brian chuckled softly. ‘And this is spoken by someone who’s already been in her pants--’

‘Shut up!’ I was on the edge of annoyance. I knew he was still teasing, but it wasn’t funny. ‘Daphne’s like my sister or something. I want her to be happy.’

Brian leaned forward and spoke quietly. ‘Then you need to accept her decisions when it comes to who she chooses to be with.’

I didn’t want to talk about Daphne any more. ‘So… We still didn’t decide where to go. To talk.’

Brian walked over to the driver’s side and opened the door. ‘Get in. I know a place where we can go.’

We didn’t talk much during the drive. I had no idea where he was taking me and I was a little nervous. I tried to tell myself that this couldn’t be another one of his cruel tricks, but I was wary anyway.

He turned off the street and into a large parking garage. ‘You’re taking me to the mall?’

‘Why not?’ He continued looking ahead. ‘There’s plenty of room. We can talk without being bothered and there’s no place where we can have sex.’

‘You mean, you’ve never fucked anyone in the mall bathroom?’ I teased.

‘Not recently.’ He parked and opened the door, but I remained where I was. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘I don’t understand why you chose this place.’

‘All right, I’ll tell you.’ He closed the door and turned to me. ‘When I was just out of college and trying to get started in advertising, I had a couple of roommates--’

‘Gay or straight?’

‘Straight. We all worked at the same agency, downtown.’

‘What was the name of it?’

‘What was the name of what?’ He was losing his patience.

‘The agency. Was it the one you used to work at? When we met?’

‘No. Marty hadn’t started his agency yet. We all worked at Fielding and Kreg.’

‘Did Marty work there with you?’

‘Yes - do you want to hear this story or not?’

‘Of course.’ I propped my chin on my hand and stared at him. ‘It’s positively fascinating!’

He smiled sweetly. ‘Then shut the fuck up and let me tell it!’ He licked his lips. ‘Anyway, when I had to come up with something earth-shattering and I had an impossible deadline, I’d come down here, to the mall. I’d drink coffee and watch the people. Sometimes I made up stories, in my head, about the snatches of conversations I heard. Before I knew it, I’d come up with everything I needed for the presentation.’

Neither of us said anything for a minute. ‘That’s an amazing story.’

He looked away. ‘I never told it to anyone before.’

‘Really?’ I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard.

‘Really.’ He stared at me. ‘I guess I didn’t think anyone would be interested…’

‘I’m glad you told me,’ I smiled. ‘I should do something in return.’ He looked confused. ‘You know, I should tell you something I’ve never told anyone.’

‘Save it,’ he said, vaguely. ‘I need a cup of coffee.’ He opened the door, got out and started walking away without looking back to see if I was following.

The place was crowded; after all, it *was* Saturday night. Still, I felt a sense of anonymity there that was comforting.

Brian steered me toward the food court. Several different smells accosted me at once and I remembered that I hadn't eaten since mid-afternoon. I started to walk away. ‘Where are you going?’ Brian asked.

‘I’m hungry. I’m going to get some pizza from Sbarro.’

‘Here,’ he started walking ahead of me, ‘I’ll get it. What kind do you want?’

After he’d paid, he left me to wait on my food. We met at a small table as far out of the way as we could get. I set my plate down and watched him sit. ‘What did you get at Starbucks? A decaf latte?’

‘A latte, but not decaf. I need all the caffeine I can get.’ He took a sip. I took a bite. Neither of us said anything right away.

After a minute, I asked, ‘Did you mean what you said in the diner? That you--’

‘Care about you? Yes,’ he nodded. ‘I thought you knew that already.’

‘I thought I did too. I’m not sure what I know any more.’ I was telling the truth.

Brian took another sip of his drink. ‘I’m sorry things didn’t work out with you and your musician.’

He sounded like he meant it and I was a little surprised. ‘So much for romance, huh?’ I tried not to sound bitter.

‘Oh, come on… You’re not going to let one bad experience ruin your life, are you?’ I didn’t answer. ‘Well, are you?’

‘It’s funny,’ I tried to smile, ‘Ethan was everything I’d ever hoped for, or so I thought…’ I took another bite of pizza.

‘What happened?’ His question was innocuous.

‘I-I can’t talk about him… to you…’

‘Sure, you can.’ He took another drink. ‘You’re not afraid I’m going to tell all your secrets, are you?’ I shook my head, but didn’t say anything. He continued, ‘Lindsay said the two of you seemed so happy when they saw you at the party…’

‘Yeah.’ I wiped my mouth with my napkin. ‘At first, he didn’t want to go. He said only my friends - your friends - would be there. I told him Mel asked me to bring him, and he agreed to go. We didn’t stay long, though.’

‘I know. I was there.’

‘I know.’ He looked at me in surprise. ‘I heard you and Lindsay talking… in the house…’

His eyes narrowed. ‘You were eavesdropping--’

I held up a finger to stop him. ‘I *accidentally* heard you. Besides,’ I shrugged, ‘I didn’t hear anything I didn’t already know.’

He didn’t answer me for several minutes. When he did, he was speaking softly, ‘You finally heard me admit that I loved you and yet…’ He smiled wanly. ‘You did nothing?’

‘No, I didn’t ‘do nothing’.’ Suddenly, it was important that he know everything that happened. ‘I came to the loft. To see you. To talk to you…’

Brian furrowed his brow, thinking. ‘That Monday afternoon, when you came by--’

‘To get the rest of my stuff.’ I took another bite of pizza, waiting to hear what he had to say next.

‘I was nasty to you…’

‘No more than I was to you…’

‘You took me by surprise. I don’t like surprises. After you left, I wished that I’d asked you to stay, but I didn’t know how.’ He took a drink. ‘As far as I knew, you were making a life with your new boyfriend.’

‘It would have taken one word from you - just one little word - and I would have forgotten Ethan’s name.’

‘Timing was never one of our strong points, was it?’

‘No.’ It suddenly became too hard to talk about this. ‘Can we please not talk about my relationship failures?’

‘Does that include you and me? Our relationship?’

‘*Our* relationship? I didn’t think we ever had a relationship.’

‘We did,’ he assured me. ‘Despite the vehemence with which I denied it…’ I didn’t say anything and he continued, ‘I know I made a lot of mistakes, Justin. I led you to believe that I didn’t care if you left, when all I wanted--’

‘Brian,’ I interrupted, ‘you don’t have to say this--’

‘Yes,’ he spoke sharply and then lowered his voice. ‘I do. There are so many things I wanted to tell you - that I *should* have told you…’ He sounded so un-Brian-like.

‘Like what?’ I really didn’t know what he was talking about.

He took a deep breath. ‘I’ve missed you… I never thought I’d enjoy anyone’s company as much as I enjoyed yours. You knew about all my bad traits and you loved me anyway. You encouraged me to be true to myself and to not take any bullshit from anyone. You were the best thing that ever happened to me - the best friend I’ve ever had…’

‘*I’m* your best friend? What about Michael? He’s been your best friend for fifteen years.’

He looked away. ‘I don’t want to talk about him…’ The pain in his voice was palpable.

‘Brian?’ I pulled my chair over to sit right in front of him. ‘Did something happen? Between you and Michael?’

He didn’t answer me right away, but I wasn’t going to be ignored. I continued staring at him. When he finally spoke, I could barely hear him. ‘I left the party, but I came back. After you and your boyfriend were gone, Michael and I had words… Well, actually, *he* was the only one who said anything…’

‘What did you do?’

‘I… punched him.’ He was staring at the floor and I could hardly hear him.

‘You… what?’

He looked up. ‘I hit him. I couldn’t let him say shitty things about you.’

I knew this was none of my business, but my curiosity was getting the better of me. ‘What kind of things?’

‘He called you a selfish little prick and--’

I could see how upset Brian was and I decided to drop the subject. ‘It doesn’t matter what he says about me…’ Brian didn’t answer me. ‘That was almost three months ago. You haven’t you seen him since then?’

‘I see him around, at the gym or the diner, but we have nothing to say to each other. After I hit Mikey, Ben tried to punch me and then everyone started yelling. I just left.’

‘And no one else heard what Michael said? To make you hit him?’ The look on his face gave me my answer. ‘You should have told them. Don’t let him get away with that!’

He shrugged. ‘So… I’m the bastard. What else is new?’

‘Listen to me, Brian. Are you listening?’ I sat so that he had to look at me. He nodded. ‘Good. I’m going to call everyone and tell them to meet us at Debbie’s tomorrow afternoon. We’re going over there and we’re going to explain what happened. Okay?’

He nodded. ‘See?’ He had a faint smile on his face.

I was clueless. ‘See what?’

‘You always took care of me. Even though we’re not together, you’re still taking care of me.’

‘Don’t you know I’d do anything for you?’ I mock-punched him on the arm, trying to make him laugh. ‘I love you, dumbass!’

‘I love you too.’

I froze, and I think Brian did as well. It was out before either of us realized it. For some insane reason, I started giggling. He sat there staring at me for a couple of minutes, but I couldn’t stop. When I could finally get my breath, I said, ‘I’m sorry, Brian. I really am. You finally say the one thing I’ve always wanted to hear, and I get hysterical.’

‘You’re not hysterical - you’re just laughing.’

‘Believe me, I *am* hysterical.’

‘Come on,’ he stood up. ‘let’s get out of here.’

I looked up at him. ‘I haven’t finished my pizza.’

‘Okay,’ he took a step, ‘stay there. I’ll be back.’

Oh no, I think, you’re not going to disappear on me again. ‘Wait!’ I scrambled to my feet and followed him. We walked slowly through the mall, looking in the windows as we went. Every so often, one of us would comment on something we saw. It was as if the whole ‘I love you’ thing hadn’t happened. I assumed this was exactly the way Brian wanted it - he was pretending he’d never said it and I was playing along.

We walked by a huge display of flowers in front of a florist. Brian stopped to admire them, and I stood a few feet away. He picked up a bouquet of red roses and looked at me. ‘Too cliché?’ he asked.

‘For what?’ I was confused. Again.

He laughed softly. ‘First, the declaration and, now, the gesture.’ He turned away to walk inside the store. I stood where I was, not sure if he wanted me to follow him. A minute later, he returned with the roses and handed them to me.

‘What are they for?’ I was truly bewildered.

‘For all the times I thought about doing or saying something romantic, and didn’t.’ He continued walking and I continued following him.

Several minutes later, we were at the same mall entrance we’d come in an hour earlier. ‘Let’s get out of here.’ He walked through the door and held it open for me.

I stepped outside and then stopped. ‘Where are we going?’

‘Home.’ He continued walking slowly but I didn’t. He was several feet in front of me when he turned around and saw that I wasn’t moving. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I-I can’t go to the loft… Not tonight.’ I suddenly couldn’t look at him.

He took a couple of steps toward me. ‘All right. Where do you want to go?’

‘I-I think you’d better take me home.’ I was still looking down.

‘Okay.’ He continued moving toward me. ‘May I ask why?’

‘I-I can’t.’ I knew this wouldn’t satisfy him and that he’d ask me to explain. I owed him an explanation, I knew that. ‘It’s not that I don’t love you - I do. And I know you love me…’

‘So…? What’s the problem?’

‘We - you and I made such a fucking mess last time. By the time I finally left, we almost hated each other--’

‘Now, that’s where you’re wrong.’ He moved one step closer. Our bodies were almost touching. I took a step backward. ‘I could never hate you.’

‘Not even when you found out I was sleeping with someone else?’

‘But that was because of me. *I* made you do it.’

It was all I could do to keep from laughing. ‘And when did I ever do anything because someone else made me do it?’

‘You know what I mean.’ I had backed up as far as I could. My back was against the wall. I looked up into his face - into his eyes. He kissed me, taking my breath. While it lasted, we were the only two people in the world - just like it was supposed to be.

When we broke the kiss, I didn’t know what to say, but I wanted to say something. ‘Brian… I-I’m sorry.’

I’m not sure what he expected me to say, but that wasn’t it. ‘What are you apologizing for?’

I thought for a few seconds. ‘Okay, I told you, earlier, that I should tell you something I’d never told anyone?’ He nodded and I continued, ‘Ethan had a recital one Saturday afternoon, like the one I went to on my birthday. I wasn’t planning on going, but I changed my mind and decided to surprise him. I heard him trying to pick up this guy, using the same line he used on me the day we met.’

‘Ah, Justin, that really sucks…’ He sounded genuinely sad.

‘Thanks, but that’s not what I was going to tell you - I already told Daphne that part.’ I paused, clearing my throat. ‘I never loved him, Brian, and that was the day I realized it. I’d been lying to him all along, and I hated myself for that. Every time we made - had sex, I closed my eyes and pretended it was you instead of him. To tell you the truth, things were the best between us when I was still living with you, and sneaking around. After I moved in with him, everything just fell apart. It was a mistake for me to go with him, and that’s when I knew it.’

‘Thank you for telling me that, Justin. I know it was important to you, and I appreciate that you trust me enough to share it with me.’

‘I-I’m really sorry…’

‘You don’t need to keep saying that. You have nothing to be sorry for…’

‘Yes, I do,’ I persisted. ‘I’m sorry for all the times I lied, to you and to myself. For not telling you that I was unhappy. For not making you talk about… us.’

‘In other words, for not changing me completely. You know, making changes to yourself is one thing, but trying to change someone else is a different matter entirely.’

‘You’re teasing me now, aren’t you?’ He wasn’t smiling, but I could hear it in his voice.

‘Only a little.’ Reaching out his hand, he moved a lock of my hair off my face. ‘Isn’t true love supposed to accept you the way you are?’

‘And, since I wasn’t happy with you, that means I didn’t love you?’

He shrugged. ‘You tell me.’

I leaned forward and kissed him lightly for a few seconds. ‘I love you more than anything else in my life. More than my family or my friends… or even my art. There’s nothing I want more than to go back to the loft with you, crawl into bed and fuck for the rest of my life. I want to make myself forget about all the bad stuff that happened, but…’ I paused, taking a deep breath. ‘I can’t…’

‘You can’t?’ He took a step backward. ‘Or you won’t?’

‘I said I can’t.’ Brian started backing away and I dropped my roses on the ground so that I could grab both his arms. ‘Don’t run away from me, Brian. You owe me the courtesy of listening to what I have to say.’

He stopped moving. ‘All right.’ He wasn’t looking at me.

‘First of all, I don’t want to change you, despite what you think. I’ve told you before that I understand about the sex. That’s one of the things that makes you… you.’

‘Are you serious? You’re not jealous of all the guys?’

‘No, I’m not. As long as you don’t expect me to join in, and as long as you don’t fuck them in front of me…’

‘What about kissing on the mouth? That was one of your rules, wasn’t it? And coming home after the curfew?’

‘They were supposed to be *our* rules,’ I laughed. ‘The answer is no, I don’t care if you kiss them, as long as you don’t do it in front of me; and the curfew was ridiculous. I was being childish when I made up those rules; I broke them first, you know.’

‘I know why you did it.’ He looked knowingly at me.

‘Did what? Made the rules? Or broke them?’

‘Both. I constantly did things that put you off your guard. You never knew where you stood with me. You were trying to take a little control. As for why you broke them, you’re human, just like the rest of us.’

‘Well, you don’t have to worry about me making up a bunch of stupid rules that neither of us can live with.’

‘What about this? Why don’t we have just one rule?’

‘One rule? What?’

‘That we don’t stop talking.’

‘About what?’

‘*I* don’t know, exactly. When you do something I don’t understand or when I do something that pisses you off…’

‘We talk about it?’ He nodded and I considered it for a minute. ‘That sounds great, except for one little detail. You don’t *do* talking.’

‘What do you think I’m doing tonight?’ He almost sounded whiny and I smiled. ‘I admit that talk is the ultimate four-letter word for me. I’ve never been good at expressing my feelings, mainly because I never thought anyone wanted to hear anything I had to say…’

‘You don’t really believe that, do you? You’re extremely intelligent and well-read; you’re funny and you’re kind and generous…’

He had a sad look on his face. ‘My reputation will be destroyed if any of that gets out.’ We both laughed.

‘See what I mean?’ I was trying to retain the lightness of the conversation, but I was having a hard time. ‘I’m not going to allow anyone to say bad things about the man I love. Not even that man, himself.’ Bending over, I retrieved the roses from the sidewalk. I pulled myself up to my full height and gazed deeply into Brian’s eyes. ‘I love you, Brian Kinney, and I always will. Nothing you could ever say or do will change that.’ Leaning forward, I kissed him lightly.

When I pulled back, I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes. I sniffled loudly, trying to regain control of my emotions. ‘I love you, Justin Taylor, and I’ll do anything you ask me to do. At least,’ he smiled, ‘I’ll try.’

‘That’s all I’ve ever wanted… that you try.’ We started walking, arm in arm, toward the Jeep. ‘Do you mind if I don’t move back to the loft right away?’

‘No, but… I don’t understand why.’

‘Because…’ I chose my words carefully, ‘we need to get to know each other again.’

‘Justin,’ Brian paused and turned to look at me, ‘I know you.’ He smiled. ‘And, more than anyone, you know me.’

‘That’s true, but…’ I was fumbling for a way to explain what I felt, ‘I think that the pressure of living together was too much for us… before…’ I wanted to reassure him. ‘Do you remember the time after I came back from New York?’ He nodded. ‘I was living at Deb’s but I spent most of my time at the loft.’

‘Yeah,’ he laughed. ‘Debbie asked me, once, why didn’t I just come over and get *all* your fucking clothes.’

I joined in the laugh. ‘I didn’t realize it then, but we had the best of both worlds. We were together because we wanted to be and not because we had no other place to go.’

He started walking again without replying. We arrived back at the Jeep a minute later. I opened the door and crawled in. Brian sat down, put the key in the ignition turned to me. ‘You’re right, of course. Will Daph mind that you’re technically living with her but not actually there?’

‘Daphne loves you, remember? She’ll do anything you ask.’

We laughed again. ‘So, *I* have to be the one to tell her…’

‘Yeah. She’ll be delighted. She’s the one person who never stopped reassuring me, during all this, that you really did love me.’

‘I knew there was something about her that I liked.’ He started the engine and backed out of the parking space. ‘There’s one more thing I was supposed to ask you.’

This sounded serious. ‘What?’ I tried to sound casual.

‘We really *do* want you to come back to Vanguard. The guys in The Castle miss you, and not because you have the most amazing ass they’ve ever seen.’

‘I’m very flattered… I think,’ I laughed. ‘But…’ I was, once again, trying to come up with the exact words I needed to explain this.

‘But you don’t know if it’s a good idea that we work at the same place…’

‘Yeah. I really love the place and everyone was great to me--’

‘Except me.’ He pulled up to a traffic light and stopped. I didn’t answer him and he spoke again, ‘I know I’m asking a lot of you, but I really want you to come back. *I* know how brilliant you are, and I want all those guys to know it too.’

‘Excuse me, but I didn’t get a chance to show much of my talent. I was too busy sending faxes and making copies and delivering mail.’

‘Yeah, that’s what interns do.’ He thought for another minute. ‘What if you’re not an intern any more?’

‘Okay, but what would I be?’

‘You’d be my assistant--’

‘Uh, Brian? You already have an assistant. You remember Cynthia, don’t you?’

‘Not *that* kind of assistant. I need someone who can deal with the art department for me. Someone who can take my ideas and turn them into graphics. Do you think you could do that?’

His idea sounded great. Better than great. ‘Do *you* think I can do it?’

He made a face. ‘I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think so.’

‘I don’t know, Brian…’ I was waffling, but I didn’t know why.

‘Come on, Justin. There’s no place for false modesty in advertising. *I* think you’d be great. Do you want the job?’

I smiled at him. ‘Fuck, yeah!’

‘Fuck, yeah! That’s what I want to hear. What time can you be there tomorrow?’

‘Tomorrow?’ I thought for a minute. ‘Is one o’clock too late?’

‘Perfect. Can you be there at one every day?’

‘It’s early in the semester, so I can still rearrange my schedule. Yes, one is fine.’

‘Great. I really appreciate you agreeing to help me out.’

His words sounded good, but I had something else on my mind. ‘Brian…’

My voice must have sounded weird because he looked at me funny. ‘What?’ His voice was guarded.

‘Thank you for paying my tuition this semester.’

He was quiet for a few seconds. ‘When did you find out I paid it?’

‘Just now--’

‘Shit! You didn’t know?’

‘How could I know? It was paid in cash and the clerk didn’t have a record of who paid it.’ I hesitated for a minute. ‘Why did you do it?’

‘You have a great talent, Justin, and it needs to be developed. Money is the dumbest reason in the world not to continue with school.’

‘I didn’t know how I was going to pay it - I even asked my dad…’

‘You talked to your dad?’ He sounded concerned.

‘Yeah. He said he’d call me, but he didn’t. Brian, I can’t thank you enough - you saved my ass one more time…’

‘Hey!’ he tried to sound serious, ‘I’ve become very fond of that ass. Besides, we had a deal, didn’t we?’

‘A deal?’ I was confused.

‘Yeah. Don’t you remember those papers we had Melanie draw up last semester?’

I nodded. ‘But that was *last* semester.’

He smiled. ‘You didn’t read the fine print, did you?’ I shook my head. ‘The contract covered all your school tuition, including grad school, if you decide to go.’

‘Jesus,’ this was only beginning to sink in, ‘I’m going to owe you my ass by the time I graduate…’

‘There you go, talking about your ass again…’ He had a lecherous grin on his face, which made me laugh.

At the next light, I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. ‘What was that for?’

I shrugged. ‘For being you. Sometimes I don’t understand you, but life with you is never boring.’

‘I almost never understand you, but I love you anyway.’ A smile slowly spread over my face. ‘What?’ he asked.

‘I have an idea.’ I looked at him. ‘I’d like to stay at the loft tonight. Do you think that would be okay?’

He smiled back. ‘I think it could be arranged.’

I moved my hand over to cover his on the gearshift, as we rode off together, into the future.