Author’s Note: This story is inspired by a segment from the first promo teaser that Showtime aired for season 3. Most of it comes from my over-active imagination.

The Garden Party

by Cathy

I knew I shouldn’t have gone to that stupid party. Even when I was on the phone with Mel and she was inviting me, I knew it would be a mistake to go.

‘It’s a garden party, Justin,’ she said. ‘All your friends will be there,’ she assured me.

‘What about Brian?’ I asked her. ‘He’ll be there, won’t he?’

‘I don’t think so.’ She sounded uncertain.

‘You mean, you didn’t invite him?’

‘Well… Lindsay did, but she doesn’t think he’ll show up. We haven’t seen him at all since…’

‘Since when? That night at Babylon?’

‘Justin…’ she was using the same voice on me that she used when she was trying to get Gus to go to sleep. ‘Please don’t hide yourself away from your friends. We still want to be a part of your life.’

‘My life with Ethan? If I come, I’ll be bringing him.’

‘Sure. We’re looking forward to meeting him.’ She sounded sincere.

Maybe I wanted to prove to them that I wasn’t upset by what happened. Maybe I wanted to prove it to myself. I don’t know.

Then, I had to convince Ethan to go. He tried telling me he was busy; he had to practice; he had a big test on Monday. I knew he was lying and I told him so. I also told him that I was going to my friends’ party and that he could go or not go, it was his choice.

He decided to go.

I had a big smile on my face as Ethan and I walked up to Melanie and Lindsay’s house. I loved that place and the people who lived there. They’d given me a place to sleep when I thought I couldn’t go anywhere else They’d given me encouragement when I was trying to decide whether to go to Dartmouth or PIFA. They’d given me advice about everything from sleeping with Daphne to how to deal with Brian on a daily basis. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have met Ethan. I belonged in this house as much as any of their other friends.

That’s what I kept telling myself.

Debbie was already there, holding Gus and making weird faces at him. She smiled when I introduced Ethan. ‘Any friend of Sunshine’s is a friend of mine,’ she said proudly.

Vic shook Ethan’s hand and said something similar. I don’t know why I’d been nervous about this. Ethan was being charming, even if he sounded a little phony. I could tell it mattered to him that my friends liked him.

Mel scurried out of the house, with Lindsay right behind her. They were arguing, good-naturedly, about the buffet table. ‘The dip belongs there,’ she pointed, ‘near the veggie tray.’ They shifted things around and then stood back to survey what they’d done.

‘Shit!’ Lindz headed back toward the house. ‘We forgot to leave room for the punch!’

‘Are you gonna let Brian spike it again?’ All the color drained out of Mel’s face before she finished the question. Everyone looked at me.

I stepped forward. ‘Do you need some help bringing out the punch bowl?’

‘Thank you, Justin.’ Lindsay held the door open; Ethan and I followed her inside.

‘I’m sorry, baby,’ Lindsay looked like she wanted to cry. ‘Mel didn’t--’

‘It’s okay,’ I reassured her. ‘I can’t pretend all that never happened.’ I grabbed Ethan’s hand. ‘We’ve decided to think about the future and not the past.’

‘Good.’ Lindsay hugged me.

I put my arm around her waist. ‘You haven’t been formally introduced to Ethan, have you? Ethan, this is Lindsay.’

‘It’s good to meet you.’ Lindsay and Ethan smiled as they shook hands; she turned away quickly. ‘Let’s see if we can get this stuff outside…’

We spent the next few minutes helping get the food table set up.

On one of our trips inside, we encountered Mel. She looked contrite. ‘I’m really sorry about what I said, Justin. I wasn’t thinking--’

‘It’s okay.’ I grabbed her in a hug. ‘*I’m* okay.’ I whirled her around so that she was facing Ethan. ‘This is Ethan.’

‘Hey, Ethan. I’m Mel.’ She shook his hand. ‘We’ve been looking forward to finally meeting you. Just so you know, we’re not going to let Justin abandon his friends, just because he has a new boyfriend.’

‘I wouldn’t want him to.’ Ethan looked a little confused. When I told him about everyone, I guess I didn’t adequately inform him of how blunt Mel was sometimes.

When we got back outside, Ted and Emmett were there. They were sitting, holding hands. It was weird, still, to see them like that. I know they’re a couple now - Debbie even told me that they were talking about buying a house together - but it was still odd to see them together like that.

A bunch of lesbians arrived, some of whom I talked to and some of whom I stayed away from. I was always afraid they’d try to pinch my cheeks, like they did the night Gus was born.

The party was in full swing when I spotted Michael and Ben coming around the house. They saw us at the same time. Ben waved, but neither of them came over. I thought I was over being mad at Michael and I thought I was ready to try to make an overture to him but, after I saw the cold look on his face, I decided to stay away from him.

I was thinking that I’d been silly to worry about Brian being there. Except for Michael, everyone treated me like they’d always done. It was good to be around them again and I found myself having a good time. I thought Ethan was having a good time too.

While Ethan discussed underground films with Ben and Vic, I went over to get some more punch. The bowl was almost empty and I asked Mel if she wanted me to go and get some more from the house. She had her hands full, trying to get Gus to eat something. She told me to look in the refrigerator.

I thought I should go to the bathroom while I was inside. As I walked through the house, I heard voices coming from the dining room. I stopped and listened. It sounded like Lindsay was scolding someone - she was monopolizing the conversation. When the other person spoke, I froze.

It was Brian.

She’d been telling him that he should go outside and join the party, that his friends were out there and that he had to stop hiding away from everyone. He maintained that he wasn’t hiding from anybody and that he’d come by tell them that he had other plans.

Bullshit!’ she exclaimed. ‘You came here because you knew *he’d* be here.’

‘If I’m not mistaken, you have more than one ‘he’ here. Which one--’

‘You know damn well who I’m talking about Brian.’ Lindsay sounded like she was losing her patience. ‘Justin--’

‘Is not my concern any more,’ Brian interrupted. ‘Is he here with his new little boyfriend?’

‘Yes.’ Neither of them said anything for a few seconds.

‘I need to get out of here.’

There was a noise, like they were walking. When they spoke again, their voices were coming from further away. ‘Brian…’ No answer. ‘He still loves you, you know? He never would have left, if he’d gotten any encouragement from you…’

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about…’

‘The fuck I don’t!’ She was on a roll and I could imagine the look on her face. ‘We all know how you felt about him - how you *still* feel. Why can’t you say it?’ Brian didn’t answer. ‘Tell him you love him.’

‘I never loved him.’ He shot back. ‘Even if I did, it’s too late to do anything about it now.’

‘Talk to him.’ She almost sounded like she was pleading. ‘Tell him.’

‘I-I can’t…’ His voice cracked. He cleared his throat.

The next thing I heard was the sound of footsteps, moving rapidly toward the front door. I was still standing in the kitchen when Lindsay walked back through the house. ‘Justin?’ I must’ve had a weird look on my face, ‘cause she was staring at me. ‘Did you…?’ She turned and glanced toward the living room.

‘No!’ I moved across the room, remembering what I’d come in there for. I grabbed the pitcher of punch and hurried back outside.

I managed to stay away from Lindsay for the rest of the party, although it wasn’t easy. I knew that she knew that I’d heard her conversation with Brian, but I couldn’t talk about it - not yet, anyway.

We left before anyone else; I just couldn’t stay any longer. Lindsay hugged me goodbye. As she pulled back, she whispered in my ear, ‘If you need to talk about it, Justin, call me.’ I smiled at her and continued saying goodbye to everyone else.

It was a day later before I actually talked about what I’d heard in the lesbians’ house. I went to lunch with Daphne - we’d started hanging out together lately - and I told her what I’d heard Brian say.

‘Did you ever doubt that he loved you, Justin?’ She looked arrogant when she thought she knew more than me.

‘I don’t know. Why couldn’t he ever tell me?’ I was whining, I knew.

‘I know you aren’t going to like what I’m about to say but, who cares if he says it or not? He loved you, Justin. Even though you left him, he *still* loves you.’ I wished I hadn’t gotten onions on my burger. I was feeling sick. ‘Well?’ She was still staring at me. ‘What are you going to do about it?’

‘There’s nothing I *can* do. It’s over.’

She smiled sweetly as she slowly shook her head. ‘You went after him once, you know. Actually, you went after him twice.’ I tried to think of something to say, to argue with her, but I couldn’t. She was right.

‘Can I…?’ I couldn’t finish the question.

‘If you want him, you have to go after him again.’