note: Justin’s thoughts are in italics.

"One more thing: you don't kiss anyone else on the mouth but me." Justin knew he was pushing things with this condition. Brian loved to kiss more than anyone he'd ever known, which was why he mentioned it.
The idea that his mouth would be the only one those sexy lips would touch...

Brian looked down. Is he seriously considering this? Or is he pausing for a second before telling me to go fuck myself?

Despite his second thoughts, Justin forced his expression not to change. It was several seconds later when Brian looked back at him. Leaning his head forward, he covered Justin's mouth with his. The teenager responded immediately. As he felt Brian's arm encircle him, he reached up with his left hand and touched Brian's hair. His body surged forward against his lover's as the kiss deepened. For several minutes, the music and the other men disappeared; the two of them were the only inhabitants left in the world…

Brian broke the kiss and put a hand on the small of Justin's back, pushing him across the room. "Let's get the fuck outta here."

There were out the door before Justin spoke. "This way." He pointed toward the alley beside the club.

Out of curiosity, Brian followed him. "What're you doing?" He grabbed the young man's crotch. "I wanna go home."

Justin continued walking down the alley, looking at the forms of men who were standing or kneeling there, and listening to their moans. Without a word, he stopped and leaned against the wall. "C'mon, Brian, I've never had sex outside." He chuckled as he pulled his lover close. "I almost did once..."

Brian smiled down. "Was that the night you picked Kip up?"

Justin looked up in surprise. "How...?"

"You don't *really* think I'd never find out about that..." Brian laughed, as he lowered his head to kiss the young man's neck.

Justin joined in the laugh as Brian knelt before him and started pulling at the zipper in his jeans. The laugh turned into a moan as Brian fondled his cock briefly before swallowing it. It only took a couple of minutes for the older man to bring his lover to a shuddering orgasm.

Standing up quickly, Brian placed an arm around Justin's shoulders. The teenager leaned against his lover as they walked out of the alley and to the Jeep.

*&*&*&*&*

The short trip to the loft was made with little talking; they relied, instead, on the non-verbal communication that they'd developed over the past weeks. When the door to the loft was shut, two pairs of hands began pulling shirts up and jeans down, tossing them aside carelessly.

Brian started moving toward the bedroom. For the second time tonight, Justin resisted. "C'mon. Let's go to bed," the older man breathed.

"Wait..." Justin replied, as he changed their direction.

Brian took a step back and looked down at his lover. "I'm not in the mood for games tonight, Justin. I want to fuck and then I want to go to sleep."

"Me too," Justin grinned. "But I don't want to go to bed yet."

By the time Brian realized where they were going, it was too late to veto the teenager's choice. He allowed himself to be pushed down on the couch, pulling Justin down with him. "Do I want to know why we're
on the couch and not in bed?"

Justin was on his knees, leaning over his lover. His mouth moved from Brian's neck down to his chest; his voice was muffled, "I want you to fuck me here."

"Justin," Brian pulled the young face up so he could look in his eyes. "I told you, that guy didn't mean anything--"

"I know. You don't even remember him." Justin kissed his lover lightly, then pulled back. "But I do. You looked so hot. I couldn't stop staring. Daphne practically dragged me out of here." The smile on Justin's lips never made it to his eyes.

"And recreating it will accomplish what?" Reaching forward, Brian ran his fingers lightly over Justin's pale chest, eliciting a slight shiver.

"I don't know." Justin raised himself up on his knees again and turned so he was half-facing his lover. "Maybe I want to replace the memory of the two of you with the two of us..."

The rest of the sentence was lost in a kiss as Brian moved behind the teenager, leaning his head over his shoulder and covering his mouth. His hands danced across the slim body, zeroing in on the already-
hardening cock.

"Fuck me..." Justin moaned, as they broke the kiss. Brian fished a condom from a drawer as Justin leaned forward, waiting. Grabbing the slim hips, Brian positioned his cockhead and pushed forward. He pulled out completely before pushing forward again, moving as slowly as he could. Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around Justin's chest and thrust again. Justin's head was turned as he tried to see the face of his lover. Brian's mouth moved across the pale neck, licking and biting as he continued thrusting.

Justin pushed back as far as he could; Brian's hair tickled the back of his neck. Reaching around behind him, he tried to grab Brian's ass and make him move faster, harder.

Brian's arms tightened around him, his right hand snaking down to milk the young man's hard cock. Closing his eyes, Justin arched backward as he surrendered to the orgasm, which engulfed him. He
squeezed his anal walls as tightly as he could around Brian's dick, bringing him off simultaneously.

*&*&*&*&*

Five minutes later, they had finally made it to the bed. Justin was in his favorite position, on his side with his head pillowed on Brian's chest. Arms and legs were entangled.

Brian hadn't said anything and the teenager wondered if he was still awake. "Brian?"

"Mmh?" It was more like a grunt than a word.

Not exactly encouragement to talk, Justin thought, but he spoke anyway. "It worked."

"What?"

"I can't remember what he looks like anymore… I can only remember us…"

Brian yawned. "Good. Now, go to sleep. I told Debbie we'd come over there early tomorrow..."

"Debbie?" Justin tilted his head up slightly. "Why are we going to Debbie's?"

"We have to pick up your stuff, that you took over there."

Justin sat up quickly and looked down at Brian. "When did you talk to her about that?"

Brian half-opened his eyes. "Tonight, before I saw you at Babylon."

"What?!" Justin's voice increased in both volume and tone. He sat quietly, looking at Brian.

"What do you mean `what'?" Brian was fully awake now, although he was still lying down.

Justin eyed his lover suspiciously. "You called Debbie before you talked to me?"

"Yeah." Brian still had no idea what was wrong. "She told me where you were."

"And you just assumed I'd follow you home after you gave that speech about us being together because we wanted to be? Is that what you really think of me, Brian? That I'm a total fucking pushover?"

Brian sat up slowly, facing the wrath of Justin. He took several seconds to gaze into his fiery blue eyes before speaking softly, "You're not a pushover, Justin. I am."

Now it was Justin's turn to stare. "*What* did you say?"

"I said..." Brian looked down, hesitating. "You heard what I said." Looking back up, he half-smiled. "When Debbie told me you were at Babylon, I went there with the intention of doing whatever it took to get you to come home." Leaning forward, he kissed his young lover gently. When he pulled back, he was smiling. "We're both where we're supposed to be now, so go to sleep."

Nodding, Justin allowed himself to be pulled down to lie against his lover's chest. He closed his eyes, but sleep didn't come quickly. Instead, he thought about the events of the past few days. Maybe I
left Brian `cause I wanted him to come and get me. Okay, I was *hoping* he'd come.

And he did.

But Justin had never imagined that Brian would acknowledge their relationship. Okay, so he didn't *actually* call it a relationship, but his meaning was clear. I think I handled it well. Considering...

Considering that he wanted to yell and scream and jump up and down and call everyone he knew and tell them the good news. Brian loves me. Okay, he didn't exactly *say* the `l' word.

But that was what he meant.

We're never going to be a couple, at least, not in the traditional sense, but that's okay. I can handle it.

He wasn't sure he knew why he'd thought about Kip or why he'd asked Brian to fuck him on the couch. Maybe if we do it in every position and location that Brian has used...

What, then? Would Brian forget about all the other guys he'd had and remember only me? Yeah, I'll be sure to hold my breath and wait for that to happen.

But I'm here, and they aren't. He chose me. He could have his pick of any guy and he wants me. I believe him when he says all those guys mean nothing to him. I can't listen to Daphne or Michael or anyone else; they don't really know him. Not like I do. Michael *thinks* he knows him, but he doesn't. Brian's totally a different person when we're alone. We hold hands and, when he kisses me, I just know how he feels about me. Even if he never says it. One day, he's finally going to realize that I'm the only one he needs, just like I already figured out I don't want anyone but him.

It might have been okay to run away once, just to make sure Brian would come after me, but I don't think I should do it again. There's a difference between doing something to get Brian's attention and just doing it to be a princess.

Besides, there's no reason to leave now. Everything is perfect.

Brian shifted in his sleep and Justin froze, afraid he'd disturbed his lover. When the older man was still again, Justin closed his eyes and smiled. Taking a deep breath, he pushed all the anxieties out of his mind. Brian and I are together; all that matters is that I'm back where I belong.

Feels Like Home
music and lyrics by Randy Newman
sung by Chantal Kreviazuk on the Dawson's Creek Soundtrack, Volume I

Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself.
Makes me want to lose myself in your arms.
There's something in your voice makes my heart beat fast.
Hope this feeling lasts the rest of my life.
If you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch.
And if you knew how happy you are making me.
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much.
It feels like home to me. It feels like home to me.
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from.
It feels like home to me. It feels like home to me.
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.