This story is written around the opening scene in episode 309. I love the way Brian and Justin look during that dance and I see it as their announcement, to the world, that they were back together.

Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing

by Cathy

It happened about a week after Brian had re-hired me to work at Vanguard; we were walking out together - one of the few nights he actually left at five - and he offered me a ride home. Just before we arrived at Daphne’s, he asked if I wanted to go out and get something to eat later. I hesitated for a few seconds. Since our reconciliation, we’d spent a lot of our free time together, always at the loft. We ordered food in, watched tv and made love. Sometimes we talked for hours. I was enjoying us being alone and I secretly dreaded the time when we’d have to go out in public again.

Brian must have sensed my discomfort. ‘Nothing fancy - just you and me, and lots of pasta and tomato sauce.’ His voice sounded soft and seductive and there was a twinkle in his eye. How could I say no? ‘Good. I’ll pick you up at nine.’

My cell phone rang at eight forty-five. ‘Don’t get dressed,’ Brian said, before I had a chance to say hello.

‘Are you blowing me off for someone younger?’ I tried to sound casual.

‘No, I am *not* blowing you…’ he hesitated, ‘at least, not until later.’ I could picture the wicked smile on his face. ‘I bought some clothes for you to wear.’

‘Brian… I have clothes.’

‘I know.’ He was quiet for several seconds. ‘I’m outside your door; let me in before I change my mind--’

I didn’t give him a chance to finish the threat. I ran to the door and opened it, wearing nothing but my briefs and socks. ‘When I asked you not to dress,’ he smiled, ‘I didn’t think you’d answer the door half-naked. What does your roommate think of you prancing around like that?’

‘Daph’s not here - she’s at the library with Adam, and I’m not prancing.’ I pulled him into the room and started wrapping myself around him. ‘But I could, if you ask me nicely.’

‘Justin…’ He was trying to sound annoyed as he pushed me backward and held up a shopping bag. ‘You’re going to wrinkle your new clothes.’

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into my bedroom. Once inside, he started emptying the bag. ‘I have enough clothes.’

Acting as if he hadn’t heard me, he handed me a pair of jeans. ‘You said that already.’ He held out a blue shirt. ‘I bought this at Torso; I knew you’d look hot in it.’ He watched as I wiggled into the tight jeans and pulled the shirt on. I stood back so he could get a good look. ‘Turn around,’ he instructed.

I did a little twirl and then walked across the room. His eyes were shining. ‘Do I look okay?’

Shaking his head, he smiled. ‘Justin, you should only ever wear blue.’

‘Thanks,’ I moved over to where he was standing. ‘You look pretty hot too.’ Clamping my hand on the back of his head, I pulled it forward and kissed him hard. He didn’t pull away.

After a long minute, I broke the kiss and began leading him to my bed. We’d moved a couple of steps when he stopped. ‘Come on,’ he slapped me on the ass playfully. ‘I’m starving.’

I wasn’t ready to leave yet. ‘Don’t you want dessert first?’ I nuzzled my face into his neck.

He didn’t answer me right away and I thought I had him. Suddenly, he turned away and started toward the door. ‘We’ve got ten minutes to make our reservation…’ He continued walking without looking back; I had no choice but to follow him.

We’d been to Romano’s once or twice, but not for a long time. They were close by and their food was excellent, but I’d never cared for all the het couples there, acting all lovey-dovey. It was okay that night, though. The conversation turned to work and we chatted about upcoming projects he wanted me to help him with.

By the time we were ready to leave, we’d drunk a whole bottle of wine and I was feeling very mellow. As we strolled out, Brian wrapped a strong arm around my waist and I leaned my head against his shoulder. When we got to the car, I pretended to be drunker than I really was, allowing him to open my door for me. Before I got in, I pulled him off-balance a little, just enough so that his cock brushed against mine. He gasped slightly and I held him there for several seconds. ‘I want you to fuck me all night long…’ I whispered into his ear, just before I sucked his earlobe into my mouth.

‘I think that can be arranged…’ he growled, pulling my face up and kissing me again. It was soft and slow and amazing. After all this time, I can’t believe that Brian can get me so hot just by kissing me.

When I was totally breathless, he pushed me into the car. I shut my eyes as we pulled out of the parking lot. We’d only driven a few blocks when he shut off the engine. I knew we hadn’t driven far enough to make it to the loft. Opening my eyes, I looked around.

‘What are you doing?’ We were parked up the street from Babylon. ‘Why are we here?’

‘Dinner was a success, so I thought we’d move on to our next activity…’

‘We’re going to your place to fuck, aren’t we?’ I know I sounded childish but I didn’t care. This evening wasn’t progressing as I’d expected.

‘Patience, young man,’ he said, with a smile. ‘Everything comes to he who waits.’ He opened his door. ‘Come on.’

Once again, I had to follow him. I walked slowly, facing something that I was hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with for a month or so, at least. As long as it was just the two of us and we were alone together, it was perfect. So far, we hadn’t been anywhere publicly on Liberty Avenue and that was fine with me. I knew we’d have to go somewhere eventually, but I was hoping it would be the diner or Woody’s - not Babylon.

Even though I’d seen Brian there twice in the weeks before, I couldn’t get past the memory of the Rage party and the look on Brian’s face just before I left with Ethan. I think I knew, almost immediately, that I was making a mistake. Call it pride, stubbornness or idiocy, but something forced me to walk out on the only real love I’d ever known.

All that was in the past, finally; Brian and I were back where we belonged. I should have been able to welcome the suggestion to go dancing, like I’d done so many times in the past. There was a time when losing myself in the music and in my lover was all I ever wanted to do.

Could I go in there and act as if nothing had happened? Everyone knew our story - all of it. How could I face them?

By the time Brian got to the door, I was several feet behind him and barely moving. Turning, he extended his hand to me. I stopped. He closed the space between us, kissing me on the side of the head. ‘I’ve missed dancing with you, Justin.’ I felt his arms around me as I closed my eyes. He started moving his body against mine, in a slow motion version of what they were doing just inside the door. Taking a deep breath, I looked up into hazel eyes; I could see the beginning of desire in them. I opened my mouth to say something - anything - to get him to agree to leave. The look on his face took all my thoughts away, though, and I allowed him to pull me inside the door.

As we walked past the bar, I reached out and grabbed him around the waist. ‘Can we get a drink first?’

He looked unconvinced. ‘One drink? Then we dance?’ I nodded silently and he stepped up to the bar.

It only took Brian a few swallows to finish his beer but I had only taken a sip or two. I knew he’d eventually figure out that I was stalling but I guessed I had ten or fifteen more minutes before he dragged me away. His face was full of concern. ‘What’s the matter?’ The question surprised me. ‘I’m expecting you to try to tell me that you’ve forgotten how to--’

‘Everyone will stare.’

‘What?’

I glanced up. ‘You heard me. Everyone will be staring at us.’

‘So fucking what if they do?’ He laughed. ‘People have always stared at us when we’re together. If I may say so, we make a very striking couple.’

‘You know what I mean. They all know what happened and--’

‘Aaahhh!’ He interrupted. ‘They all *think* they know,’ he nodded knowingly, ‘but they don’t. You and I are the only ones who really know what happened between us and I’m not talking… Are you?’ I don’t think he expected an answer.

Suddenly, he snatched the bottle out of my hand and threw it in the trashcan behind the bar. ‘My beer!’ I yelled, as he grabbed the front of my shirt and started pulling onto the dance floor, like he’d done in the past.

‘I’ll buy you another one as soon as we’ve danced to one song!’

‘Just one?’ I tried to sound menacing.

Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, he pulled me close and started moving. ‘Close your eyes. It’ll be over before you know it.’

I did as I was told, trying to forget about all the bodies writhing around us. It only took a few seconds for the music to mesmerize me. I was back in Brian’s arms again and it felt damn good. I remembered the night I lured those two guys away from him, only to have him take me away from them. And the night he’d told me that there was no turning back for us. Or when I won King of Babylon and finally learned how much I meant to him. He was right - no one had the right to decide how we lived our lives… except us.

I opened my eyes and looked around. I had a silly grin on my face - I knew it. There was nothing to fear any more. The song that was beginning had a beat that sounded vaguely Latin. The lyrics were in Spanish, I think, and I could only understand a word or two. ‘Besame.’ That means kiss me, doesn’t it?

In a flash, I had lost myself in the music; I felt like I was in a dream and Brian and I were the only two people in the world. I could feel his strong hands moving over my body slowly, caressing my back and my ass. Our eyes were locked together; we noticed nothing of what was going on around us. He moved his mouth over my hair and down my face and neck, kissing me softly. I was vaguely aware of confetti floating down on us.

My universe had shrunk into that tiny space of floor. Everything I saw, heard, felt and tasted was Brian Kinney. If I’d thought about glancing around, I would have seen that we were being watched by everyone around us, including Michael, Ben, Ted and Emmett, who were standing on the stairs. I didn’t see them until later. The only people who mattered, in the world, were Brian and me.

We danced through a couple more songs before Brian grabbed my hand and started pulling me again, this time, toward the back room. I managed to stop him. ‘Hey! Maybe we should go back to your place,’ I warned. ‘Everyone’s saying there are undercover cops everywhere.’

‘Ah, fuck, that’s what makes it hot.’ He started pulling me toward the doorway and I pretended to resist for a very brief minute.

Brian led the way down the hallway and into the ever-decreasing light. Pushing my back against the wall, he knelt quickly, unzipping my jeans and pushing them down. My dick was already half-hard when he touched it. By the time he sucked it roughly into his mouth, I was moaning. I knew I wasn’t going to last long. I wanted to pull his head back and make him slow down, but I couldn’t. It felt too good. He caressed my balls playfully while his tongue darted around the head of my cock. I could feel the orgasm roiling up from deep inside me but I was powerless to stop it, even if I wanted to, which I didn’t. Closing my eyes, I flung my head back and held my breath, awaiting the inevitable.

By the time I was able to open my eyes, Brian’s face was just in front of mine. He plunged his tongue deep into my mouth and I could taste myself in his kiss.

It seemed like an hour had passed when he broke the kiss and pulled back, smiling down at me. ‘Do you still want me to fuck you all night?’

‘Here?’ I glanced around. I’d never made a secret of the fact that the back room of Babylon wasn’t my favorite place to fuck.

‘I can think of another place.’ He licked his lips. ‘It’s a lot quieter than here,’ he grimaced. ‘You might even think of it as secluded… and private…’

I shrugged. ‘I’m willing to make the sacrifice…’ I started pulling my jeans up.

‘Are you sure you’ll be able to get it up again?’ he asked. It had always been a joke between us how little time it took me to get hard again after sex. Without warning, Brian reached out his hand, rubbing it lightly down the length of my dick. I was almost completely hard again. ‘Jesus, Justin, this might be a record, even for you.’

I finished zipping my jeans and leaned forward, kissing him lightly. ‘Why don’t you shut up and get me out of here?’

Silently, but with a smirk, he led me out of the back room and across the dance floor. As we walked out the door and into the cold Pennsylvania night, I glanced around at all the people who were still inside. I couldn’t wait to go back there with Brian so we could dance some more.

- the end -

by Stephin Merritt

Recorded by Magnetic Fields on 69 Love Songs (1999)