Author’s note: This is the next installment of my series called ‘My So-Called Life’. It contains spoilers for season 3 and it’s written entirely in Justin’s POV. It follows the stories ‘The Garden Party’, ‘The Visit’, ‘The Confrontation’, ‘The Recital’, ‘The Move’ and ‘The Reunion’.

The Offer

by Cathy

A couple of weeks later, I was working alone in one of the classroom studios when Dean Ryerson walked in. ‘Staying late, Justin?’ he asked. ‘Class was over a while ago.’

‘Just finishing a project.’ I continued working as I talked. ‘I want to turn it in before I leave for the day.’

He didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t leave either. He kept watching me work; I could see him out of the corner of my eye. I finally paused and looked around at him. ‘Did you want to talk to me?’ I tried to sound unconcerned, but I couldn’t help wondering if something was wrong. He didn’t venture out of his office unless there was a problem.

‘I was enjoying watching you work. Your technique is excellent.’ He smiled. ‘I’ve never had a chance to regret allowing you to come back to school after our… misunderstanding.’

I started back to work, but I still had the feeling he was there to give me a lecture. I decided to wait until he was ready to talk.

It was a few more minutes before he spoke again. ‘Your advisor told me that you’d been offered an internship at the Vanguard Agency.’

‘Yeah.’ I didn’t stop working.

‘She said you were thinking about it…’

I turned around to look at him. The quicker I could end the conversation and get him out of there, the quicker I’d get finished. ‘I decided not to take it.’

‘May I ask why?’

I really didn’t want to go into it, but I wanted him to go away. And I didn’t think he’d go away until I answered him. ‘I was… involved with someone who works there and it ended badly. It would be awkward if I ran into him.’

He smiled, knowingly. ‘I can see where you’d be concerned about that.’ He was quiet for a minute. ‘Justin… the artistic community in Pittsburgh is very small and very select - everyone knows everyone else here. It’s not like New York or San Francisco or even Los Angeles. I know - I’ve lived in all three of those cities. If you turn down this job, you could very well encounter a similar situation on the next job you’re offered.’ I didn’t answer him and he continued. ‘Vanguard is, by far, the best ad agency in Pennsylvania. It’s among the top ten or twelve in the country. An internship there would be invaluable to you in training for computer animation. Isn’t that what you want to do?’

I shrugged. ‘ I thought so, a year ago. Now, I don’t know…’

He nodded. ‘I also know that you’ve had some financial problems. This internship comes with a very generous salary.’

I didn’t know about the money and that was tempting. ‘How many hours is it?’

‘You can work up to twenty hours per week, and you don’t have to be through by five. Many of their artists go in late and work until seven or so.’

This sounded like a good deal. Maybe too good. ‘Thank you for the encouragement, but I don’t think so. You should send someone else…’

‘Well, that’s the problem. If you don’t take it, we can’t send someone else.’

‘What?’ He couldn’t be kidding - as far as I knew, he didn’t kid about anything.

‘When they made the request, they asked for you by name, Justin.’

Now, I was suspicious. ‘Do you know the name of the person who asked for me?’

He shook his head. ‘I didn’t take the call. Does it matter?’

It shouldn’t matter. I wanted it to *not* matter, but it did. ‘I know more than one employee there.’

‘And you want to know if it was one of your friends who asked for you?’

‘It doesn’t make any sense otherwise.’

He was quiet for another minute, thinking. ‘Okay, how about this? I’ll go back to my office and get the name of the person who asked for you. I’ll call them and arrange for you to go over there tomorrow, just to have a look around.’ He stared at me. ‘It can’t hurt to talk to them, can it?’

I still didn’t think this was a good idea, but I couldn’t say no to him again. ‘Okay. I’ll go over there.’

‘Good. I’ll email you the name and time of the appointment.’

‘Thanks.’ I smiled, hoping I looked happier than I felt.

*&*&*&*&*

I was almost late for my appointment because I couldn’t decide what to wear. My first instinct was to wear my only suit, but I had second thoughts about that. Brian always wore Gucci and Prada and Armani, but he was an account exec. He had to deal with clients on a daily basis. From what he’d said about the art department, they dressed a casually. I opted for dress slacks and a sweater.

Walking into the lobby made me nervous. The few times I’d been in this building, I’d come with Brian. I expected to see him walking toward me, smiling…

I swallowed the panic that was rising in my throat and signed the guest book. The receptionist asked who I was there to see. I told her and then sat down to wait. My heart was pounding.

‘Justin!’ I looked up in time to see an attractive blond woman walking toward me. Standing up, I held out my hand and she grabbed it. ‘You look great!’

‘Thanks, Cynthia. So do you.’ I meant it. I always thought she was beautiful.

‘Aren’t you sweet?’ She almost blushed. Even she was susceptible to flattery. ‘Let’s go up to my office where we can talk.’ She started pulling me along.

I hesitated. ‘Do you think that’s a good idea?’ I must have looked scared because she squeezed my arm.

‘It’s okay. He’s out of the office for the rest of the day.’ We both knew who ‘he’ was. I silently thanked her for anticipating my concern. I followed her into the elevator.

When we got to her office, she waved at a chair. ‘Have a seat and tell me how you’re doing. Would you like something to drink?’

‘No thanks.’ I sat down. ‘I was surprised to find out that you’d called the school and asked me to come to work here.' I wasn’t sure I should ask what I wanted to ask, but I had to know. ‘Did Brian…?’

‘He doesn’t know anything about it.’ She sat down.

‘Then… why?’

‘Why did I ask for you? Because you’re a great artist. I have a friend who works in the admissions department at your school. I got her to make some inquiries about art students there and your name was among the list of best matches for this firm.’

‘So…’ I was beginning to understand what was happening. ‘Why I’m here has nothing to do with Brian? He didn’t…?’ I couldn’t finish the question.

‘Officially, no. As a partner, he knows that we’re bringing in a new intern in the graphics department. He doesn’t know who it is or where he goes to school.’ She leaned forward. ‘Unofficially, he’s a wreck. He comes to work every day and he satisfies all his commitments, just like nothing happened. If I didn’t know him as well as I do, I’d never know anything was wrong. But I do. He misses you, Justin.’

This was, at the same time, the best thing and the worst thing she could have said to me. ‘Cynthia… I don’t want you to think I’m being ungrateful or anything, but I don’t think it would be a good idea to see him every day - to have him see *me*.’

‘I’m not trying to play matchmaker with you two - I know Brian would never allow that. You’ll be working downstairs, in the art department. Brian doesn’t go down there very often, and he almost never interacts with the interns.’

‘I know you’re trying to reassure me, and I appreciate it. Can you guarantee that Brian and I will never see each other?’

She paused for a few seconds, looking away. ‘No, I can’t honestly make that promise. Brian is a very hands-on manager. As long as the two of you are in the same building, there’s a chance you’ll run into each other.’ She looked at me. ‘If you don’t mind me saying, I don’t think it would be a bad idea for him to see you from time to time. He needs to be reminded of what he threw away, if the two of you are ever going to get back together…’

I was not about to discuss all the shit that had happened between Brian and me, especially not with his assistant. ‘Cynthia--’

‘No!’ She held her hand out to stop what I was about to say next. ‘That’s none of my business, I know. It’s between you and Brian. I’m telling you, as a friend of his, that he’s not over what happened…’ She didn’t say anything else and I was trying to decide if I could make a graceful exit. I was about to stand up when she spoke again, ‘How about this? I’ll take you down to the art department and let you meet the guys. It’s a good crew down there and I know you’d learn a lot from them. Go home and think about it. All I ask is that you call me before five on Friday and tell me if you want to give it a try. If you say no, I won’t mention it again.’

I considered what she’d said. ‘That sounds fair.’ I stood up.

‘Great!’ She started walking out of the room. ‘I’ll let Robin give you the VIP tour. If he can’t convince you to come to work here, no one can.’

It took me about five seconds to understand why she’d been so sure I could be charmed by the head of the art department. Robin was younger than Brian, probably no older than twenty-seven or twenty-eight. He was stall and slim, with dark curly hair and bright, black eyes. His enthusiasm and high regard for both his job and his co-workers was contagious. Plus, he made me laugh.

He talked non-stop as we walked around the crowded rooms and cubicles in the basement. ‘You go to PIFA? We have several girls working here who graduated from there."

‘Girls?’ I had seen few females.

‘*You know*,’ he rolled his eyes. ‘We call this part of the building ‘The Castle’, because it’s full of queens.’ He laughed breathlessly and I couldn’t help joining him. ‘They probably all had spontaneous orgasms when you walked through.’ I must have looked alarmed. ‘Don’t worry, darling, they all behave themselves when they’re at work. But, afterwards? Well…’ He sighed theatrically.

He was still talking when we got back to his office. ‘All kidding aside, Justin, this is a great place to work. Most of our interns either stay and take regular jobs or come back to work here after graduation. If you’re half as good as Cynthia says you are, you’ll fit right in.’ He was looking down at me with a little half-smile on his face, as if he knew a wonderful secret that I didn’t know. I could feel my face getting red.

‘Cynthia told me to go home and think about it.’ This sounded like I was saying no without actually saying no. ‘I’m supposed to call her back by Friday.’

‘Oh.’ His face fell. ‘Okay.’ I could tell he wasn’t accustomed to anything but yes. ‘You really should think about it, Justin. I’d love to have you…’ He chuckled softly. ‘Working with us.’