Author’s note: This is the fourth story in the series based on the season 3 promo teaser, although this one is based solely on spoilers. It follows ‘The Garden Party’, ‘The Visit’ and ‘The Confrontation’.

The Recital

by Cathy

I hung out at Daph’s until we’d finished eating and then took the bus home. It was late enough so that Ethan would be home, but early enough so that he wouldn’t be asleep. Maybe he’d gotten some good practicing done while he was alone. That would assure that he was in a good mood.

He wasn’t playing when I walked in - he was lying on the bed, looking over a list and shaking his head.

‘What are you studying?’ I sat down beside him and kissed him on the ear. ‘Do you have a test?’

‘No,’ he dropped the paper and buried his head in my crotch. He was still talking but the words were muffled.

I pulled his face up. ‘I didn’t get that.’

‘I said I’m trying to decide what to play on Saturday.’ He was pulling at my shirt.

‘You’re playing on Saturday?’ This was news to me. ‘Where?’

‘At school.’ I stood up to undress and he turned over on his back to watch. ‘Duncan, their little child prodigy, got mono and they asked me to fill in for him. That’s what he gets for kissing girls.’

‘Did you tell him that?’ I crawled back onto the bed and into my lover’s arms.

‘I don’t speak to him, if I can help it. He’s a pretentious, self-absorbed little prick…’ I pulled him over to lie on top of me, ‘and I don’t want to talk about him any more.’

*&*&*&*&*

Later, we were still awake and still talking. ‘What time is the concert?’ I asked.

‘I-I’m not sure,’ his voice sounded strange. ‘Why?’

‘It’s in the afternoon, isn’t it? I have to ask for the time off from work.’ I stole a glance at his face and he didn’t look happy. ‘Don’t you want me to come?’

‘Sure,’ he replied, quickly. ‘It’s just… well, it’s such short notice and I know you work on Saturdays.’ He wasn’t looking at me.

‘You don’t want me there.’ I just figured it out myself. ‘Do you?’

‘Justin…’ He tried to kiss me, but I pulled away. I crawled out of bed and walked across the room to stand in front of the window. I knew he’d come up with some pretty words to try to get around telling me the truth. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say.

A minute later, I heard him moving across the room and then he was standing behind me; I could feel him shiver. It’s always cold in this place.

‘Of course, I want you to come,’ he whispered, ‘but I know you need the hours at the diner.’ He nuzzled his head just behind my shoulder and I turned my face toward him. ‘Don’t you know you’re with me all the time, even when you’re not *actually* there?’ Here it comes, I thought. I’m not going to give in when he says something outrageously sappy. He moved around to stand in front of me. ‘You’re here,’ he kissed me on the head, ‘and here,’ he kissed me on the chest and then wrapped his arms around me. I could feel my heart melting.

‘Let’s go back to bed.’ We walked back across the room and crawled between the sheets again. I didn’t say anything because I was thinking about what was happening: I complained that he wanted us to spend every minute together and, now that he was allowing me some breathing room, I was bitching about that too. ‘Thank you for understanding about work.’

‘That’s okay. Those things are pretty boring, especially when you can get a command performance any time you want, right here.’

‘Can I help you decide what to play?’ I looked around for the list he’d been reading before.

‘Actually, Joseph told me today what I should play, but I’m not sure I’m ready to let him make those kinds of decisions.’

‘Joseph?’ I tried to remember what Ethan had said about him. ‘Isn’t he the one who said you were good enough to go on tour?’

‘Yes. He keeps telling me he knows people…’ He didn’t finish the sentence.

‘So…’ I sat up and looked down at him. ‘Why don’t you talk to him about it?’

‘I don’ t know…’

‘Ethan!’ I couldn’t understand why he was being difficult about this. ‘Isn’t this what you’ve wanted?’ He shrugged, but didn’t say anything. I still didn’t get why he was being so vague about this. ‘Why don’t I go with you to see him--’

‘I am *not* going to talk to him about this, okay?’ He turned over.

‘Okay,’ I said, to his back. A few minutes later, I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

*&*&*&*&*

Nothing more was said about the recital, until Friday night. Ethan asked if I’d listen to the songs he was planning to play, and tell him what I thought. ‘I don’t know anything about music, Ethan.’ I wanted to laugh, but I could see he was serious.

‘How long have you lived here? How long have you listened to me talk about my music?’

‘How long have you listened to me talk about art? How much do you know about it?’

He looked at my drawings, which were hung everywhere in the apartment. ‘I know that your talent is amazing. That I never get tired of looking at your stuff.’

I could feel myself blushing. ‘I never get tired of listening to your ‘stuff’.’ I sat down on the bed and looked up in anticipation. ‘What are you gonna play first?’

He went quickly through four selections, introducing each of them in turn. I loved them all, and told him so. ‘But, which three did you like best?’

I honestly didn’t know, but I knew he wasn’t going to shut up until I gave him an answer. ‘Don’t play the second one,’ I announced, like I knew what I was talking about.

‘Okay. Why?’

I could have made up a reason, but I decided to tell him the truth. ‘It was slow and pretty - very romantic. It made me want to take you to bed, strip your clothes off and make love to you all night.’ We both laughed. ‘Since I won’t be there, I don’t want someone else getting the wrong idea, just because of the song you’re playing.’

‘All right.’ He picked up his violin and played the romantic one again.

*&*&*&*&*

We slept very late on Saturday morning and I blamed it totally on Ethan. He played so beautifully; every time I heard him, I fell in love with him all over again. When I finally dragged myself out of bed, I had only enough time to shower and dress. I wished him good luck as I hurried out the door.

It was almost two o’clock before I thought about him again. Debbie had been training a new waitress and she was catching on faster than we thought she would. Add that to the fact that we weren’t as busy as we usually were, and I got an idea to surprise Ethan by showing up at his recital after all.

When I told Debbie what was going on, she started yelling, ‘Why are you even here, Sunshine? Go and listen to your boyfriend play!’ I hurried into the back room to take off my apron and grab my coat. She swatted me on the ass as I ran by her and out the door.

I stopped on the corner to wait for the bus; the next one should be by in five minutes. I looked down at my clothes; they weren’t suitable for the occasion, but they would have to do. I didn’t have time to go home and change. I’ll just stand in the back, I decided, where I won’t be seen. Ethan will be surprised when he sees me.

I ran up the steps of the music building, to the recital hall. The concert had already started, so no one was taking tickets. Sticking my head in the doorway, I saw that someone was in the middle of a selection and I stayed outside until I heard applause. During the short pause, I ducked inside quickly and stood in the back, against the wall. I was all the way over on one side, where no one could see me, not even the performers.

I guess the recital had started earlier than I thought, because I only made it in time to hear two people play. Ethan must have gone first or second - I missed him entirely. I was disappointed, but I could still tell him that I’d heard him; I knew what songs he’d played.

I stopped to get a glass of punch before I walked over to surprise him. He was surrounded by a group of adoring fans, as usual, and I stood back and listened to some of their comments.

‘Marvelous!’

‘Amazing’

‘You are a genius!’

‘The most beautiful music I’ve ever heard!’

Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.

I remember being similarly impressed by his playing, the first time I’d heard it. I was trying to think of something sufficiently cheesy to say to him, to make him laugh, when a young man stepped forward and said, ‘You’re very good.’ How boring, I thought. Couldn’t he even take the time to think of something interesting to say?

‘The Debussy was passable, but the Mozart was for shit.’ I recognized Ethan’s voice. I froze, waiting to hear what was going to be said next.

‘I-I didn’t notice.’ The young man sounded bewildered.

‘Well, you should have,’ Ethan sounded full of himself. ‘It was all your fault.’

There was a pause and I could imagine what the young man was thinking. ‘M-my fault?’

‘Yes. The way you were staring at me was distracting, although not in a bad way.’

There was a nervous laugh, from Ethan’s new little friend. I turned around and walked out of the room and the building. I couldn’t listen to any more.

I took the bus to Daphne’s dorm. I should have called her first - she wasn’t alone. She told me to stay, that it was okay - they both said it was okay, but I couldn’t do that to her. I could see the flushed look on their faces, the way they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. I wasn’t about to interrupt what I knew was about to happen. I told her I’d call her later, and walked away.

Hours later, I was still walking. I tried to think through what had happened. I tried *not* thinking about what had happened. Either way, I thought my head was going to explode. I’d always had my suspicions that Ethan was using ‘lines’ on me, but I didn’t have any evidence to prove it. Now, I had evidence. Now, I could make a decision about my future, with or without him, based on what was actually happening, not on what I hoped was happening.

It was already dark by the time I made my decision. A lack of communication had destroyed my last relationship and I wasn’t going to let it destroy this one. I was going back to our apartment - to Ethan’s apartment - and talk to him. I was going to tell him what I’d heard and what I thought and then I was going to listen to what he had to say.

He was playing when I walked in. I allowed him to finish and then I asked him how the recital went. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I closed my eyes and pretended you were there, watching me.’

‘I have a surprise for you.’ He looked at me expectantly. ‘I *was* there, for most of it.’

His eyes looked guarded. ‘Did you hear me play?’

‘Yes.’ Okay, I lied about that, but I had heard him play all the songs the night before. ‘You were amazing.’

‘Thank you.’ He kissed me. ‘But… why didn’t you come by afterwards? I didn’t see you.’

‘I know. There was a crowd around you and I wasn’t dressed…’ I looked down at my jeans and sweater.

‘Oh.’ He still looked troubled. A knock at the door startled both of us. ‘Who could that be?’ He laughed uneasily.

Neither of us got up. ‘Why don’t you answer it and see?’ I suggested.

After another knock, he finally stood up and walked, slowly, across the room. He opened the door, barely, and I heard him speaking softly.

‘Ethan?’ I called to him, but he didn’t answer. I stood up and walked over to the door. ‘Why don’t you open--’ I stopped speaking when I saw who our visitor was.

It was the Ethan’s young admirer, from the recital.

‘Who’s this?’ I looked from one face to the other, feigning ignorance.

Ethan stood there with his mouth open, saying nothing. The boy stuck out his hand. ‘I’m Jerry. I was--’

‘At the recital this afternoon, I know.’ I looked at Ethan but spoke to his visitor. ‘I saw you talking to Ethan, afterwards.’ Both of them were looking sick. ‘You know, *Jerry*, it’s not polite to distract an artist when he’s playing. He couldn’t concentrate, with you staring at him like that.’ I stopped talking, but they were both still staring at me. ‘I tell you what.’ I pulled Jerry into the room. ‘I think you two need to talk about this, don’t you?’ I led them across the room to the dilapidated sofa. ‘Have a seat. Make yourselves comfortable.’ I grabbed my coat. ‘I’m gonna leave you two alone now.’ I walked to the door and turned, staring at Ethan. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow to pick up my stuff.’

And I walked out.