Author’s note: This story was inspired by episode 104, although I’m not sure why. It occurred to me that it would take some help from an interested observer to bring Brian and Justin back together. What follows is a highly romantic version of their reconciliation, brought about by someone I hadn’t considered before. I hope you enjoy it.

Two Little Words

The front door of the small house opened slowly. "Justin!" The face of the middle-aged man lit up as soon as he saw who his visitor was. "This is a surprise!"

"I should have called first, I guess." The teenager hesitated.

"Now, why would you say that? Don’t you know you’re always welcome here?" Vic moved aside. "Come in."

"Thanks." They walked into the living room, where Justin sat down on the couch.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"No," Justin shook his head. "I’m fine."

Vic sat in his favorite chair. "How have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while."

"I know." The young man looked down. "I-I’ve been busy."

Vic thought he noticed a strain coming through in Justin’s voice. "I understand. I hope you don’t think you *have* to come over when you don’t have time."

"But I *like* coming here, Vic." Justin smiled. "I miss our talks."

"Me too." Vic was almost sure that something was bothering Justin and that he’d come over to talk about it. In the past couple of months, he’d noticed a subtle change in his young friend’s demeanor. It had been almost six months since Justin had moved out of the loft and into Ethan’s apartment. He’d started dropping by shortly afterwards, carefully choosing a time when he knew Debbie wasn’t going to be there. Their conversations never lasted very long, nor were they ever very profound: Vic decided that Justin was trying, in his way, to deal with yet another upheaval in his life and he was grateful that the young man trusted him enough to continue their friendship. He hadn’t retained contact with all the other friends he’d acquired as a result of his relationship with Brian.

The silence had lasted several minutes. "Is everything okay, Justin? You look--"

"What?" Justin asked, eagerly. "What’s wrong with how I look?"

"I was just going to say you look tired. Debbie said you’re working almost full-time at the diner. Are you getting enough rest?"

"Yeah." That’s our Justin, Vic thought. King of the monosyllabic answer.

"How’s school?" Another attempt at conversation.

"Okay." Justin had found something fascinating to look at on the floor.

"Justin." Vic waited until the young man looked up. "You didn’t come all the way over here to sit on the sofa and stare at the carpet. What’s wrong?"

"What makes you think anything is wrong?" Vic had witnessed the innocent act before.

"How long did you live in this house? How many mornings did we spend together? How many nights? Even after you moved out, I still saw you practically every week." Vic took care not to sound like he was lecturing; he wanted to remind Justin that he could be trusted with whatever it was he needed to talk about. "I care about you, kid, and I want to help… If I can."

In the face of such compassionate honesty, Justin was disarmed. "I *did* come over to talk to you, Vic. You’re the only person I know who won’t say I told you so."

Silently, Vic resolved not to pass judgment on what he was about to hear. "My sister is the house specialist in that department." He tried to lighten the mood.

Justin flashed his thousand watt smile, but only for a second before his face turned serious again. "Vic… I think I’m gonna need a place to live again." He looked expectant. "What would you and Debbie say about me coming back here?"

Vic considered the question for several seconds. "I’d love to have you back, and I’m sure Debbie feels the same. Has something happened?"

"Not one big catastrophic thing, no." Justin shook his head. "But… things just haven’t worked out the way I hoped they would."

After a few more seconds of thought, Vic moved from his chair to the sofa. "You just used a lot of words to say absolutely nothing, Justin." He examined the pale face. "Now, would you like to tell me what’s *really* going on? Are you and Ethan having problems?"

Justin shrugged. "You can’t really call them problems, I don’t think. Sure, there are times when he gets on my nerves, just like I know there are times I get on his. Overall, it’s not so bad." Vic remained silent, waiting. Justin was still dancing around the real problem and he guessed that the only way to get to the bottom of this was to be patient.

After a long minute of silence, Justin continued, "Okay, the problem isn’t with Ethan. It’s me."

Vic stifled a smile. "So you’re saying that everything that’s wrong right now is your fault? My God, Justin. You must be something to be able to totally fuck up a relationship by yourself."

Justin opened his mouth to argue and then thought better of it. "Are you using psychology on me, Vic?"

Vic smiled. "You’re getting too smart for me these days." He paused, wondering if he should ask the question which had just popped into his head. "When was the last time you saw Brian?"

"Wait a minute," the teenager replied quickly, "this has nothing to do with Brian. I see him once or twice a week, mostly at the diner. We’re polite to each other, we do small talk, but that’s all. I don’t mention his name around Ethan, not because he’d say anything, but because he wouldn’t. He knew, when I moved in, that I didn’t love him. That I was still in love with Brian. We never talked about it, but it was there, between us. It still is. I like him very much and I respect him, but I don’t love him. I don’t think I ever will. And it’s gotten to the point that I don’t feel right, staying with him, knowing that I’m never going to feel about him the way he feels about me."

"Don’t you think your leaving will hurt him?"

Justin nodded. "Some, but he’ll get over it, and he’ll be better off in the long run. He has his music to surround himself with. Sometimes I think I distract him too much from his goal of being a rich, successful musician."

Vic examined the young face for any clue of what he wanted him to say, but there was none. "Are you sure your decision to leave Ethan has nothing to do with Brian?"

"Yes, I do. It was probably wrong to move from the loft to Ethan’s apartment; I should have tried it a little while on my own." Looking down, he shook his head. "I fucked up what I had with Brian--"

"Another relationship you screwed up all my yourself?" Vic couldn’t believe his ears.

"After Brian and I… met, everybody tried to tell me what I was in for, but I wouldn’t listen. I was going to show them all that they were wrong about him." Justin was defiant. "I don’t really remember when things started to fall apart for us. When they did, I started acting like the drama queen Brian’s always called me. I even figured out why he did what he did - he thought it was best for me to leave. He pushed me away, and I ran like some scared little faggot. We had a chance at being something very special - Brian and me - and I totally blew it."

Justin paused and Vic searched for something to say to help him take some of the pressure of the breakup off himself. "How do you know it’s over for good?" Justin didn’t answer. Sitting very still, he shook his head slightly as he looked down. Vic moved closer. "I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to tell me the truth. Do you promise?" Glancing up, Justin nodded slightly. "You still love him, don’t you?" Vic could almost see what little color that remained in Justin’s face draining out. "You don’t have to say it."

"I’ll say it: I love him, but I’m the one who walked away, because he wouldn’t do and say the things I thought I needed. He showed me, every day, how much he cared about me but I thought he didn’t love me because he wouldn’t say those three fucking words. I’ll never forgive myself for giving up on us..."

The flood of words out of Justin’s mouth abated and he was quiet again. The finality of his tone worried Vic. "Okay, I have another question: why are you telling me this? Why not tell Brian?"

Justin suddenly looked uneasy. "I-I can’t. He doesn’t want me any more. If he did, he’d’ve let me know. Somehow."

"In the same way you’ve let him know you still want him?"

"Okay," Justin laughed softly. "I see your point. Still… what can I do?"

"I guess it’s too simple to just go and talk to him. Tell him what you just told me."

"I can’t do that." The young man seemed to recoil from the subject. "It’s over, and it’s all my fault."

Ah, all this pride, Vic considered. Why can’t we ever put a little of it aside when our future happiness is involved? "Do you think it would help if I talked to him?"

"No," Justin squirmed. "I don’t want him to know I talked to you."

Vic thought for a long minute. "Okay, how about this." He placed a hand on Justin’s arm. "We’ll have a chat, but I won’t let him know I talked to you. I’ll try to find out what he’s thinking."

Swallowing hard, Justin cast a sidelong glance at his friend. "D’ya think that would work? I don’t feel right asking you to go to so much trouble for me."

"Justin, you’re my friend. I love being able to help my friends. Besides, if I don’t try, how are we ever going to know what he really thinks?"

Glancing at his watch, Justin stood up. "I have to get over to the diner. My shift begins in fifteen minutes."

Vic walked him to the door. "I’ll call you, okay?"

Justin paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Thanks, Vic. I’ll see you later."

"See ya, kid." Vic stood at the door and watched the teenager as he walked up the street toward the diner.

*&*&*&*&*

Brian was standing at the open door as Vic exited the elevator. "This is a surprise."

"I hope I’m not interrupting anything…" He smiled slyly. "Or anyone."

"Contrary to what everyone thinks, I don’t spend all my waking hours fucking." He pushed the door closed after Vic’s entrance. "Do you want something to drink?" He motioned toward the couch.

"A beer, if you have one." Vic sat down and looked around. The place looked emptier than it had the last time he’d been there.

"To what do I owe the honor of this visit?" Brian handed a bottle to Vic and sat in the chair opposite.

"It was a nice day, so I thought I’d take a walk. I like it when the weather starts getting cooler."

"You walked all the way over here?"

"It’s only a few blocks." Vic took a drink.

"Everyone is okay? Deb? Mikey?"

"Debbie’s fine. I don’t see Michael so much anymore. Do you?"

"He and Ben are practically married. They go everywhere together - Babylon, the diner. I bet they hold each other’s dicks when they pee."

Vic tried not to smile. "Do I detect a note of jealousy?"

"No, you do not. Maybe I’m a little disappointed… I thought I raised him better than to fall for all that relationship bullshit."

Vic hesitated for a couple of seconds, trying to decide if he was up to a discussion with Brian, which might turn into an argument. This is for Justin, he decided. "If you don’t mind me saying so, you were acting like a man in a relationship, not long ago."

"Ancient history," Brian stared past his companion at… what? It was impossible to tell. Vic was trying to map out a plan of attack when Brian spoke again. "Is this what you came over here to talk about? My past mistakes?"

"You mean, you’d actually admit to making a mistake? You really *have* changed." Vic knew that Brian had the capacity to totally close up if the conversation got too personal, so he changed the subject. "How’s work?"

"Busy, busy. I didn’t think being a partner would take up so much of my time."

"Are you sorry you wanted it so badly?"

Brian shook his head. "No. I’m damn good at what I do. I know that. My partner knows that. Everyone knows that."

"Now that you’ve given me the press release, would you like to tell me how you’re *really* doing?" Vic spoke as calmly as possible. He could see something in the hazel eyes that filled him with alarm.

"You know me: Brian Kinney, the fuck machine. No excuses. No regrets. No emotions. No feelings. No hope. No love."

"Do you think saying those things about yourself is enough to make them true?"

"They are true." Brian wasn’t looking at him. "Didn’t I prove all of it, with--"

"Justin? Are you saying you have no regrets about what happened between the two of you? There was no love?"

"Oh, there was love. He loved me, but I took care of that."

"Brian, he still loves you. Very much."

"I treated him like shit, Vic. That’s why he left."

"That’s not the way he sees it."

Brian looked surprised. "It’s not?"

Vic shook his head. "He blames himself for what happened."

Brian sat quietly for a long minute. Vic watched the emotions pass across the usually impassive features. There definitely was a war going on in the man’s head. "Did he send you here?" Brian looked suspicious. "To tell me this?"

"No," Vic lied. "He came over to the house a couple of days ago and we talked, but I came here on my own. He doesn’t know I’m here."

"What about the violin player? Did they run out of romantic things to whisper in each other’s ears?"

"Justin was never in love with Ethan. He realizes that was a mistake."

"If he feels so bad about what happened, why isn’t he here, instead of you?"

"He thinks you don’t want him anymore. That you’re mad at him for leaving you."

"He’s half right." Brian snatched a cigarette from the pack on the coffee table and lit it, inhaling deeply. "I *am* mad, but not at him. It was all my fault."

"Okay, for the sake of argument, let’s say you’re right. That it *was* all your fault. What’re you going to do about it?" Vic finished his beer and set the bottle on the table in front of him.

"What am I gonna do?" Brian smiled. "Not a goddammed thing. This is the way it was supposed to end. Love is bullshit - I’ve always said that."

"Justin doesn’t think that. Don’t you think he deserves another ending?"

Brian sighed deeply. "He’s better off now, without me. If he can’t figure that out for himself, I’m sure you’ll tell him. While you’re at it, tell him he did us both a favor when he left me at Babylon that night." Standing up, he walked over to his computer and turned it on. "If you’ll excuse me, I brought home a ton of work." He turned his back on his guest and sat down at the desk.

As Vic walked slowly away from the old brick building, he considered what his next move should be. His talk with Brian hadn’t exactly gone the way he’d hoped, but he’d managed to find out some very important things about Brian’s state of mind.

*&*&*&*&*

Vic answered the door quickly. "Hey, Justin. Thanks for coming."

"Is everything okay? You sounded weird on the phone."

"I’m fine. I’m sorry I didn’t call you after my visit to Brian’s--"

"You saw him?" Justin’s eyes lit up. "What did he say? What did he do?"

Vic raised his hands, palms outward, in an attempt to quieten his guest. "Come in to the kitchen and sit down. I’ll try to explain."

The teenager followed his friend into the other room and sat down at the table. "Okay, tell me what happened. Does he still love me? Does he want me back?"

"Yes, he’s still in love with you, but…"

Justin’s face fell. "But what? Vic, please don’t tell me anything bad."

Vic gathered his thoughts. "Brian still loves you very much," he said quietly, "but he’s in complete denial about it."

"Denial?"

"Yeah. He said love is bullshit and you’re better off without him." Justin sat very still, with his mouth open. He was speechless. "I’m not ready to give up on this and I don’t want you to give up either." A knock on the door startled them. "Justin, I want you to do me a favor, okay?"

"W-what kind of favor?" Justin asked, listlessly.

"I want you to stay here, out of sight of the living room. Don’t make a sound and listen very carefully. Can you do that?"

"But--" Justin’s face was full of questions.

"I know you don’t understand any of this, but I’ll explain it to you as soon as I can. For now, can you just trust me?"

Justin bit his bottom lip and then nodded. "I *do* trust you, Vic."

"Good." He took a couple of steps toward the door and paused. "Remember: stay out of sight and not a sound."

Justin nodded, a hopeful smile on his face.

Vic walked to the door and opened it. "Brian. Thank you for coming." He stood aside so the younger man could enter. They walked into the living room.

"Is everything all right, Vic? You sounded strange on the phone."

"I-I’m sorry if I scared you. I was thinking about our conversation the other day and I’m worried about you. I wanted to make sure you’re okay."

"Couldn’t be better, but thanks for asking." He took a step toward the door. "Now, if that’s all you wanted to talk to me about--"

"You don’t have to leave. Sit down," he motioned toward the couch. "I don’t get to see you much any more."

Brian sat down, with Vic beside him. "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"How’s work?"

"You asked me about that the other day, at my place."

"Yeah," Vic agreed, "so I did. Well then," he searched for another subject to discuss, "is it cold out today? I guess winter’s on the way--"

"Vic," Brian deadpanned. "Did you really invite me over here to discuss the weather? Why don’t you go ahead and ask me?"

"Ask you what?" Vic tried to feign innocence.

"I don’t know what the exact question was, but I’m sure it has something to do with Justin."

"Okay, you guessed it. After we talked the other day, I couldn’t stop thinking about you two."

"That makes one of you."

Undeterred by Brian’s feigned lack of interest, Vic continued, "Well, to be perfectly honest, I think Justin was the best thing that ever happened to you, and I think you--"

"Vic, please." Brian stood and started walking toward the door. "I’ve said all I’m going to say about… him. It’s over."

Vic stayed where he was, hoping that Brian wouldn’t walk out. "Just answer me one question, and I’ll leave you alone about it." Brian paused, his hand on the doorknob. "Tell me you don’t love him, that you never loved him, and I’ll drop it."

A look of pain flashed across the beautiful features for a second and then it was gone. The mask reappeared. "I can’t tell you that…"

"Because it’s not true?" Both Vic and Brian turned toward the direction of the kitchen, where the question originated.

"Justin…" Brian looked at the teenager and then looked at his host. "What the fuck’s he doing here?"

"Justin, I told you to stay in the kitchen."

"And listen to the two of you discussing me like I’m five years old?" He turned his attention to Brian "Why can’t you answer the question, Brian?" Justin walked slowly, but steadily, toward his erstwhile lover. "Is it because you never *did* love me?"

Brian looked down at the teenager, who was now standing a foot away. "Leave it alone. You’re better off without me, everybody knows that--"

"I don’t know it… I love you, Brian, and I’ll never stop believing that you love me too." Justin reached his hand out to touch the other man.

"Did you believe I loved you while you were walking out on me?" Justin froze.

"That’s not fair," Vic offered. "You know why he left."

"Yes," Brian nodded. "I do know why." He looked back at Justin. "You left because I wouldn’t have a picnic on the floor. Because I wouldn’t buy you flowers or give you something silly and romantic for your birthday. Because I wouldn’t tell you that I--" He stopped speaking, half-turning his head.

"That you what?" Justin moved so that his face was close to Brian’s. "Love me?" He laughed. "You know, there was a time when hearing those three fucking little words was all I wanted - all that mattered. Now," he reached out his hand out again, placing it on Brian’s shoulder, "I wouldn’t care if you never said them…"

Brian stared down into the depths of pale blue eyes. Suddenly, he couldn’t remember how it felt to kiss Justin’s mouth and feel their bodies move together. Just as suddenly, he took a small step forward, pulling the younger man into an embrace. "Love you," he whispered, just before he covered the small mouth with his, obliterating everything else around them.

When the kiss ended, a long minute later, Justin smiled up at his lover. "Just for the record, that was two words, not three." His smile radiated. "But who’s counting?"

"You are, obviously." Brian’s hands moved over the slight body.

"Hey, that gives me something to look forward to, doesn’t it?" Justin nuzzled against Brian’s shoulder.

"Excuse me, guys," Vic walked toward them with a huge smile on his face, "if you two need to be alone, I can go to my bedroom."

"Not necessary," Brian answered. "We have some very important things we need to talk about. Right?" He looked back at Justin, who nodded enthusiastically.

"Thanks, Vic." Justin called over his shoulder as he was pulled through the door.

"Yeah." Brian stuck his head back in for a second. "Thanks, Vic."

"My pleasure." Vic walked to the door and watched the lovers as they ran off the porch, across the yard and into the black Jeep.