A few days later, Anna was looking over John's chart. He was going to be released the next day, provided he had a place to go where he wouldn't be alone. She had offered to move in with him, and he had told her he would give that idea some serious consideration. That had been a couple of days ago and he still had not given her an answer.
She didn't want to pressure John, but he needed to make a decision soon about where he was going once he left the hospital. She headed toward his room and had barely pushed the door open when she realized that he wasn't alone. Roland Carter was in there with him, but from the sound of his voice, Anna didn't think it was a nice visit. She let the door close a bit, but listened, and what she heard broke her heart.
"I can't believe that you're seriously asking me if you can stay at the house to recuperate, John. I had to cut my vacation short because of your childish antics. Antics that were not necessary at all."
"The little girl was..."
"In no real danger. The train would have come to a stop before it hit her. Unless the little brat moved. You acted impulsively, without giving any thought to what you were doing. You always do that. Bobby was never an impulsive child. He thought everything through. I don't see why you can't try to be more like your brother."
"Bobby's dead," John softly said.
"And if there was any justice in this world, it would have been you who died years ago and not Bobby," Roland scoffed. "You've been nothing but a disappointment to me. You might have your mother and grandmother fooled, but not me or father. We know that you do things to get attention and this time it just isn't going to work. You should consider yourself lucky that I'm willing to pay your medical bills, but I will not allow you to sit in my home and attempt to extract sympathy from the rest of the family."
Anna let the door close as she saw that Roland Carter was getting ready to leave. She was almost to the nurse's desk when she saw him exit John's room and head for the elevators. Anna waited until he was in an elevator before she returned to John's room.
"Hey. Want some company?" she asked, hoping her smile didn't look as forced as it felt. How dare that man say such hateful things to John?
John looked up at her, his eyes watery. "Not really. I'm a little tired right now, Anna."
She nodded. "I can come back later. I was wondering if you had given any though to my offer to move in with you. I promise I won't cross any lines, John."
John looked away from her and she could tell that he was trying to keep from crying.
"We can talk about it later, okay?" She started to leave, but his voice stopped her.
"Yes."
She turned back around. He still wasn't facing her.
"Yes?"
He nodded. "I think we can give it a try."
"Okay. We'll go over the details later. You should rest now." Anna went on out, her insides torn up with conflicting emotions. On one hand, she was delighted that John had said yes to her offer. On the other hand, she wanted to do serious bodily injury to Roland Carter for what he had said to John. How could the man be so cruel to his son?
Anna spent the rest of the morning fuming about the way Roland Carter had treated John. She wanted to talk to someone about it, but knew that she couldn't risk doing that. If John ever found out that she had discussed that conversation with someone else he would never forgive her. And that was a risk she wasn't willing to take.
It was after two when she was finally able to get back upstairs to see him. Again, he wasn't alone, but this time it was Laura and Barbara there to see him and not his father or grandfather. Both women were genuinely happy to see Anna and so did John, although he looked tired. Laura told her that he had just returned from physical therapy and that he had been given pain medication.
"I think he'll be falling asleep on us," Laura commented as all three of them watched him struggle to stay awake.
"I hate this. I really do. Anna, I'm sorry. I know that you wanted to talk about moving in, but I can't do that now. When is your shift over?"
"Six. I'll come back up here then."
"John told us that you offered to move in with him. I'm glad that he won't be alone. He's being stubborn and won't even consider staying with us." Laura said.
Anna noticed that John wouldn't look up at his mother after she said that. It was a shame that he felt he had to lie to his own mother, she thought. "I knew he was anxious to get out of here, so I thought it was the least I could do. I won't give up the lease on apartment yet though, just in case we end up getting on each other's nerves."
"You would never get on my nerves, Anna." His expression was unreadable as he looked up at her.
"Thank you for saying that, but you've never had to share a bathroom with me. My brothers all assure me that I'm a difficult person to live with, and I believe them."
"Millicent is making arrangements to get John to and from his physical therapy sessions, and to have someone there with him while you're at work. If it can't be one of the family, then it will be Dawes or Higgins." Laura informed her.
Anna was trying to figure out whom she was talking about when Barbara told her that Higgins was Millicent's driver and Dawes was the butler. Both men had known John for all of his life and were more than willing to stay at the apartment with him.
John watched with tired eyes as the three ladies visited with each other. He was still upset over what his father had told him earlier. He should have known to expect that from him though, but it still hurt. It also hurt him to have to lie to his mother when she kept insisting that he come to stay at the house. He wondered what she would say if he told her what his father had said. Would she even believe him?
He stifled a yawn, then gave up on trying to stay awake and closed his eyes. In a way, his father's refusal to even consider letting him recuperate at home was a good thing - it had made him accept Anna's offer. Imagine Anna thinking that she would ever get on his nerves. He wasn't so confident that everything would be smooth once she moved in with him, but he wasn't dreading the idea. It was going to be nice to see Anna every day - and night. With that thought in mind, he finally drifted off to sleep.
"I think we've lost him," Anna said as she watched the even rise and fall of John's chest as he slept.
"I didn't think it would take long. He had an intense work out with the physical therapist. John is determined to get on his feet as soon as possible so he can return to work." Laura said.
"He's a very dedicated doctor, Mrs. Carter."
"I've heard that about him. He gets a lot of visitors during the day and night. It's good to know that so many people care about him."
"Yes, it is. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."
"Of course. We'll probably see you later today or tonight," Laura said as she pulled a chair up next to John's bed and sat down.
"I'll walk with you, Anna. I want to get something from the cafeteria. Mom? Do you want anything?"
Laura shook her head. "I'm fine."
When Anna and Barbara were in the elevator, Barbara looked over at her. "You know that Dad and John don't get along, don't you? I could see it in your eyes when Mom was telling you about John refusing to stay at home."
"I went to see John this morning and your father was in there with him. When he left, John seemed to be upset."
Barbara sighed. "Dad definitely has that effect on him." Barbara paused and Anna had the impression that she was trying to decide if she should say anything more. Apparently, she decided yes. "John has always tried his best to make Dad proud of him. Unfortunately, Dad never notices his efforts. It's not that Dad doesn't love him or anything like that, he's just a difficult man to please."
Anna was tempted to argue with that assessment of Roland, but she kept her mouth shut. If Barbara insisted on knowing how she knew things about Roland, then Anna would be forced to admit that she had eavesdropped on a private conversation and she didn't want that to be known. Anna had grown up in a large extended family and she knew the many facets of love that went with a family - Roland Carter didn't show any of them. It seemed to her that he barely tolerated John. She had seen first hand the way John went out of his way to please others. The way he hated to disappoint people or argue with them. She was sure that those personality traits could be laid at the feet of Roland Carter. Maybe even his grandfather.
The next day, Anna made sure she was at John's room early. She told herself that she only wanted to help him get ready to leave, but deep inside she knew that she wanted time to be alone with him. Hoping that he would open up to her and tell her more about his family and just how things stood with him and his father. They were alone for a good hour, but John never spoke of anything personal. He wanted to make sure she had a key for the apartment so she could move in at her leisure. He assured him that she did. As a matter of fact, she had moved some of her things in the night before. When John's family arrived to take him home, she knew that any personal talk would have to wait until that night, provided it ever happened at all.
John's physician gave him a quick exam, then signed the paperwork to have him discharged. John was relieved to see that he was finally getting out, even if he was going to be back at his apartment. With Anna. That was the part that made him nervous. How was he going to handle living with her? His feelings for her were stronger than they had ever been, despite his hurt. How could he manage to live in the same place with her and hide those feelings? He didn't know, but he knew he would have to find some way to accomplish that feat.
The nurse helped him into the wheelchair, then escorted him downstairs to where his grandparent's limousine awaited. He was settled in there, as comfortable as he could possibly get, and they drove home. Anna would be getting off of work around six, so he would be seeing her by seven. That gave him most of the day to figure out how to handle their living arrangement.
Luck was on John's side for most of the day. His grandmother, mother and sister stayed with him all day and even remained in the apartment after Anna arrived. They had dinner together, and then the Carter women headed home, leaving Anna and Carter alone. At first, he felt anxious about that, but as the quiet descended around them, he realized that he didn't mind the solitude. After all that time in the hospital, with the constant noise surrounding him, it did feel good to have the only other sound in the room be Anna's breathing.
Anna stretched. "I don't know about you, but I'm beat. Are you ready for bed?"
"Yeah. It's been a long day."
"So, how are we going to handle this?" Anna asked. She knew she was blushing, and she mentally kicked herself for it. She was a doctor and had seen naked men before, there was no reason that she couldn't handle helping Carter in the bathroom or to change into pajamas for bed. Of course, it didn't help matters any for her to see him blushing as well.
"I'd like to brush my teeth and stuff."
"Okay. Let's go." She wheeled him into the bathroom. There was barely enough room for the wheelchair, but it did fit. She stood aside as he brushed his teeth and washed his face, knowing that he would ask for help if he needed it. Finally, he looked up at her.
"Would you mind stepping out into the hallway and closing the door?"
She shook her head. "I can't do that. You aren't supposed to be trying to stand on your own yet, remember? I can help you get on the toilet and then I'll leave so you can have some privacy."
Seeing that he didn't have a choice, he nodded.
Anna had to step into the tub in order to get to the front of the wheelchair and she couldn't help but laugh about that, which did get a chuckle from him as well. Maybe that would help take his mind off of the fact that she would have to help him with something as private as going to the bathroom. She quickly got him settled onto the toilet, then left the bathroom. A few minutes later he called her back in, and after another detour through the tub, she had him back in the wheelchair. Back through the tub one more time, and she was able to push him to his room.
"Just how long do I have to use this thing anyway?" he asked.
"Didn't your doctor tell you?"
He shook his head. "I don't think so. Maybe he did. I'll ask when I go tomorrow for my physical therapy."
"That's a good idea. Your grandmother is taking you for that, right?"
"Right. She'll be here at seven, and she has a key. There's no reason why you can't be to work by six. I'll be asleep and won't know that you aren't here for that hour before Gamma gets here."
"We'll see how things are in the morning. Kerry and Mark don't have a problem with me coming in a little late. I'm just glad that you have family who will be here with you."
"Yeah, Gamma's pretty great. Aside from taking away my trust fund, she's always been looking out for me, you know?"
While they were talking, Anna was helping him change into pajamas. Now it was time to help him get into bed and that proved to be almost more than she could handle. It wasn't that he didn't help her, it was that he tried to help too much and they both ended up sprawled on the bed, Anna on top of him. His breath caught as he noticed how right that felt. How warm she felt.
Anna heard his breath catch and thought for a moment that she had hurt him when she fell on top of him. She scrambled off of him.
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
He smiled sadly, thinking that she had hurt him a lot by lying to him, but he shook his head. "No. You didn't hurt me. I'm okay."
She nodded. "Good." She helped him get into bed the right way, then tucked him in. She had given up on her plan to talk to him about his father. He was obviously tired and she knew better than to have a serious conversation with him when he was in that state.
"You need to take your medication."
"I don't want anything for pain, Anna. I'm fine," he assured her. He had been in a lot of pain after physical therapy and had taken his medication then, but his fear of becoming addicted to it was greater than the pain, so he was determined to not take any now.
"John, it's important for your recovery for you to get a good night's rest. You can't do that if you're tossing and turning from the pain."
"If that happens, then I'll take something. You can leave the pills and a glass of water on the nightstand for me."
She thought about that, then agreed with him. "I'll be right back with your water."
John watched her walk out, then relaxed against his pillow. So far, living together wasn't so bad. But, then again, they had only spent a little over an hour alone. If he was lucky, then everyone would be staying around with him tomorrow and he wouldn't end up spending a lot of time alone with Anna. It was just too tempting to be near her. He wanted to kiss her. Wanted to hold her. He wanted to trust her again.
He wanted a lot, and he wasn't sure that he would ever get any of those things.
Anna returned with his water and sat the glass down beside the bottle of pills, then she cut out the light.
"Call out if you need me. I won't close my door, okay?"
"Okay. Goodnight, Anna."
"Goodnight, John. Sleep well."
"You, too."
She left his room again and he pulled the covers up around his chin, snuggling into the bedding as best he could with his casts. As much as he hoped that she wasn't there in the morning when he awoke, he wished that she would be. It would be interesting to see her in the morning. Oh, he had seen her when she was just waking up from being asleep, but he didn't think that naps in the emergency room counted the same as sleeping all night. What he really wanted was to wake up and have her still asleep in his arms. Dear God, there was so much he wanted, and yet he was still so afraid of it. Afraid of her. He didn't like being afraid of Anna.