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| Memories light as air i feel them flutter there... flying through my mind, unheeding of any time... from the past to even now, where i at last begin to see... just how much these memories mean to me... for a moment, we can be just like butterflies in spring, flittering from flower to flower... only we hover over memory for this hour... memories that include the good and the bad, the funny and the sad... just trying to recall what it had all meant to us before... to know, to understand, our lives are in God's mighty hand... we remember, then, not to live in memory's land... but just to visit, so that we can fix our eyes on our now... the memories we recall must inspire our lives, after all, for, we, too, are like butterflies, 'tis true... fragile as morning dew that evaporates as the day passes by and that's the reason why we must continue living for today, yet with memory in our view, fluttering in our hearts, now and then-- and just like butterflies are apt to do, dancing delicately in the air... then...suddenly, no longer there... |
| I Didn't Know I didn't know... having children would be so 'awful' hard! Watching them grow-- seeing those little faces lose all the traces of precious babyhood... I just didn't know... how difficult it would be to watch them leave me. But, that's the way it's meant to end-- That's what the Lord really did intend! Baby grows up and becomes independence grown... I just didn't know it would make me feel so terribly alone! I didn't know I'd feel so adrift... parted from this gift of God's great love. For it's true that a child is God's dearest blessing! I just didn't know that it was also a testing of learning about resting and trusting in Him so completely. For, in raising and loving a child, then learning how to let go... Well...I just didn't know it was simply God's way of teaching His child-- me--how to grow! Poems written by Cathy J. Montgomery |
| ****************************************************** Well, here's a little look into the past. This was also in the "Memories" booklet from 1993. In June of 1996, Matt was still alive at that year's family reunion. However...one month later he committed suicide. There was no indication to any of us that he would do such a thing. All had appeared well with him. If only... Turning Thirty Cathy J. Montgomery I remember my 30th birthday (oh, so long ago!!) I had been experiencing some "growing older" pains for several weeks. It seemed everything I heard or saw was geared exclusively to the despised topic of aging! Even my favorite raido station seemed to conspire against me,! For every time I switched it on, a particular song would blast out--"Turnnnning Thhhhurteee!" So I really wasn't too happy about celebrating my birthday. But, Mom persuaded me, and...so it was there in the warm, nurturing atmosphere of my loving mother's home, I faced the cold, cruel reality of my vanishing youth! There we all were...sitting around Mom's table--Randy and his family, Mom, Mitch, John and my little family. In front of me was a birthday cake with a few brightly burning candles (No 30 candles for me!!). My nephew Matt, 6 at the time, solemnly looked at the cake and candles, then quickly glanced at my face. How could I have ever anticipated that this darling child would inflict the fatal blow?! "Aunt Cathy, how old are you?" I squinted my eyes, ignoring him, thinking he would forget the question. No such luck. "Aunt Cathy...how old are you?!" I took a deep, ragged breath, hesitating to speak THAT number! "Uh...mmm..." I gulped, weakly whispering, "I'm thirty..." Matt's little face grew even more solemn. In an intensely serious tone, he said, "About ready to die, aren't ya?!" "Turning Thurrteee!!" reverberated through my head for weeks and weeks. Fortunately, I finally realized thirty wasn't so terribly old , after all! In fact, it's a wonderful age! Unfortunately, I didn't realize how wonderful until I turned forty! Now...I'm wondering if they'll come out with a song called "Turning FIFFFFTEEEE!" It's not so faraway. Might as well start clearing my throat and practice humming. Only then...please Matt...don't ask your Aunt Cathy how old she is! Yes, it's true getting old depends on a person's frame of mind. However, Matt, in my case, it all depends on my unreal sense of time!! Let me have some illusions--puhleeze!! *********************************************** Home Poem Index Back Next |
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