Series: TOS, post The Wrath of Khan Codes: Kirk/Chekov Rating: NC-17, that means there is sex between two men, if that might offend you or if you're under 18, please read no further. Summary: A post TWOK hurt/comfort vignette based more on the novelizations of TWOK and TSFS than the movies themselves. Archiving: Permission given to ASCEM, PKElite and to my own webpage: www.oocities.org/tlin_s/a_kite.html anyone else, please ask first.

Comments, feedback and constructive criticism are welcome and always answered either to the group or privately at Akite68163@aol.com. Thanks to my beta readers, I didn't take all their advice, so any mistakes are mine.

The crippled USS Enterprise limped its way to Earth from Regulus I, inside the ship, the crew was just as damaged. Doctor McCoy was acting deranged, and Scotty never left engineering. He was dealing with his grief the only way he knew how, with work. Admiral Kirk, avoiding everyone, was holed up in his quarters supposedly writing reports.

The same could be said for Commander Pavel Chekov. After the battle with Khan, Chekov had been ordered back to Sickbay. Dr. Chapel had been outraged that he had left his bed and gone to the bridge. She clucked around him for what seemed like forever before finally releasing him to quarters. Pavel hadn't left those quarters in days, despite regular attempts by Sulu and Uhura to lure him out.

He was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. With sleep came the nightmares. Pavel could have dealt with them if they had been of things unreal. These nightmares were the worst kind; from things that really happened. Now his mind wouldn't let him rest. Every time he lay down, his brain spun around one image; Khan's hands on his shoulders pushing him down. He had to get away from these people before they found out the true depths of his unworthiness.

He knew his friends and possibly his surviving crewmates from Reliant would not hold it against him. They would only tell him it wasn't his fault. That the Ceti eel and Khan were to blame. Chekov knew better. He was glad that all who had witnessed his ultimate humiliation at Khan's hands were dead. He felt like a total govn'uk for feeling that way. If he had been stronger, all of this would never had happened.

Pavel came to the conclusion that the only way to make reparation was to resign. Now, before the ship made it back to Earth. He got up and dressed himself in the uniform that he had once been proud to wear. It was a desecration for him to even have it on.

Commander Pavel Chekov forced his reluctant legs down the corridor. Squaring his slumping shoulders as he arrived at Admiral Kirk's quarters, he pressed the buzzer. With the Admiral's permission to enter, he marched forth and stood at attention in front of the desk where the Admiral sat.

Kirk looked as tired and defeated as Pavel felt. He hated to lay this at the man's feet as well, but it must be done. The Admiral looked up at him and said, "At ease, Mr. Chekov. What can I do for you?"

"I've come, sir," Chekov faltered for a second, "I've come to resign my commission in Starfleet."

Shock at the words drove Kirk to his feet. "No!" He walked around the corner of the desk to take Chekov by the shoulders and turn the younger man to face him.

A little calmer, he asked, "Why, Pavel?"

Chekov gritted his teeth and forced back the tears that threatened to spill out. He would not cry again. Not here, not now. It was no good. The tears were determined. He tried to turn away, but Kirk pulled him into an embrace.

Kirk held him and listened to the litany of inadequacies that the younger man let loose. Chekov spoke of how he was to blame for all that happened. If he had only remembered about the Ceti Alpha system, if he had been stronger Captain Terrell wouldn't have died, but when he got to how he was responsible for Spock's death, Kirk reacted.

"No! No, Pavel, don't you see?" Kirk pulled back to look Chekov in the eye. "You are *not* responsible, not for any of it. It was my shortsightedness that caused this. I should have followed up on Khan. I should have made sure Starfleet quarantined the planet. It should have been me to go into the reactor chamber."

The Admiral broke down then, whispering, "Spock, oh Spock," as he let go of the tight control he had himself under. Pavel could only hold the man as he had been held and offer what little comfort he could in a universe that had gone so frightfully wrong.

After long minutes of holding a warm body against his Chekov felt a change. It must be stress, he thought as he shifted his lower body away from Kirk's. He would have pulled away so the other man wouldn't feel the erection that had sprung up, but as he tried, Kirk only pulled him closer. Actually pressing himself into the hard flesh, rubbing against it.

Pavel felt the wall against his back. He was glad for the support when Kirk reached between them to fondle him through his uniform pants. He made a token sound of protest that made the Admiral pause for a second. He looked to Chekov for assurance and got a nod. Bozhe moi, but it felt good. It was about to get better. The Admiral unfastened Chekov's pants and went to his knees.

If Kirk's response to his precipitous erection was a surprise to Pavel, what Kirk did next was a bigger one. The older man freed his trapped cock and pulled it into the wet warmness of his mouth. James T. Kirk was here on his knees in front of him, Chekov had to open his eyes and watch. Each step toward the building orgasm brought feelings of the unquestioning life- affirming rightness of it all, and gave the younger man renewed confidence in his abilities. He no longer felt weak and unworthy.

When the orgasm came, he shouted with the triumph of it. Once he caught his breath, Chekov helped Kirk to his feet. He reversed their positions and put the Admiral's back to the wall. Pavel chanced a look at Kirk's face. His eyes were squeezed tightly closed and his lips were twisted in anticipation. His hips jutted out in invitation.

Chekov took that invitation, doing for Kirk, wanting to do for this man, what Khan had forced him to do in front of his whole bridge crew and Captain Terrell. Pavel lowered himself in front of the other man and sucked his cock. He tried to give back what Kirk had given him.

He withdrew his mouth once during the sucking and commanded that the Admiral look at him. "Watch." he said as he pulled the man's entire cock into his mouth. Chekov heard Kirk gasp and thought, Yes, that's it. Take this that I give.

Pavel was never sure if Kirk felt the same thing as he did. The man had climaxed powerfully and pulled him to his feet. They shared one soul-searing kiss, and Kirk turned away to refasten his pants. Chekov did the same. When Kirk turned back he was every inch Admiral James T. Kirk again.

The Admiral looked the Commander in the eye and said, "Resignation denied. Report to the bridge Mr. Chekov."

When Chekov reached the bridge somehow Kirk had beaten him there. The ship was approaching Spacedock. They never spoke of what happened between them. Things happened so quickly after they docked, there wasn't time, and later, once they rescued Spock, there was no need.

The end