| Jonathan Berger's Poetry: Poem of the Day |
| REGARDING THE SHORTS To whom it may concern I am not satisfied with these shorts. Upon taking the merchandise home yesterday, I found that they were too tight ripped the wrong color the wrong texture and that they were a hat. I would like to return these shorts at your earliest convenience and without complaint and a credit added to my account. I would like to erase the errors of yesterday the Crimes of Macy's and return these disreputable goods forthwith. Do you hear me: FORTHWITH! The shorts are too tight. The shorts are all wrong. The shorts do not match my delicate sensibilities or my hairstyle or my bearing. You will do what you must to rectify the situation. The cost? Disregardable. The specifics? Irrelevant. The customer is always right, so, if you would, make it so. Take back these shorts and allow life to return to its proper trajectory. Take back these shorts and return my money. Take back these shorts and let reality be lived the way it was meant to. Take back these shorts. Take back these shorts… Thank you. |