Calm Like a Bomb.
> Sometimes I feel like a time bomb just waiting to go off. Like a mushroom cloud laying mother f@#ker. And sometimes drinking heavily can speed up that process. Oh my, how many times must this happen. It just causes me to stop being passive aggressive and to start being aggressive and it only take one small stupid thing to set it off. Like last night for example. I was unhappy with our shitty show but unstead of calmly saying, "well that sucked," like I normally would, I blew up and displayed my discontent. I acted pretty childish actually. But, what the hell are you gonna do? I just get super pissed once that switch gets flipped. I wish shit like that didn't happen and luckily it doesn't happen very much but it happens. Shit happens. Sometimes. But I should be able to control myself.
An aggressive temper runs in the family. And its all pretty much just takes one stupid thing to set it off. But instead of getting the quick temper my brother and father have I've got a passive agressive temper that builds and builds until I'm superfly TNT. It makes me feel like Dr. Jackyll and Mr. Hyde. Actually it makes me feel like I'm on PCP. That is, if I knew what it feels like to be on PCP. Anyways, I can see how this could be the end of me someday. But hopefully it won't be.
On a side note, I don't really talk to him any more but its my dad's birthday today. Happy birthday. Where-ever you are. (I know where he is but I like to pretend he is off at sea or something. It distances myself from him)
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