The last time I saw him.... a few months before his death he
called on the phone.... he and Fionia was heading home (Gaithersburg
MD) from a weekend trip to New York, (Chris loved taking trips!)
he asked if he could come see me I couldn't believe he was asking!
He sounded SO happy!
I of course told him, "HELL YEA!"
A few hours later, they showed up, it was only the second time
I had met Fionia. Chris looked SO GOOD He had on a matching denim
set,
jacket and jeans, but most importantly! his smile was BIG and
his eyes were bright! He looked so damn good! We sat for a while
in the living room...talking I got out his photo album, Fionia
wanted to see baby pictures.... we remembered the good times
I have a trunk with some of his things in it, stuff he never
really cared much about, stuff from his past, we went and looked
through it he took a few things, left the rest.
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I remember this day so clearly, it
was like he was saying goodbye forever........
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After collecting a few things he wanted to take home, Fionia went
to wait in the car, as if to say, "It's time to go"
Chris had to use the bathroom before they headed to Jessica's
(my youngest sister, they were very close) so we walked back into
the house, when he was done he came into the
living room, we stood by the closed front door I didn't want him
to go......... I hugged him, he hugged me back with such might
we stayed that way for a long time it seemed......
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Was he saying goodbye?
I wonder why the hell I didn't go to Jessica's with them, I'm there all the time....
I wish I could have seen him hold
Alyssa.... just once, at least Jess got to see that.
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I cried and cried, and we told each other how much we loved one
another over and over again, he gently brushed the tears from
my cheek and told me with that handsome smile, "Mom, don't
cry, your gonna make me cry." I couldn't stop we hugged again,
and he opened the door and walked to the green rental car they
had gotten for the trip, he was driving.... he walked to the car
with his head down, looked up as he got to the car door, and smiled
really big, and said, "bye Mom"
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why didn't I know?
i wouldn't have let him go
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I cried for hours after he left
We planted a garden outside of our little apartment in Bayberry Commons, Chris grew Sunflowers and Zinnias. I bought him a greenhouse seed starter kit, it came with sunflower and zinnia seeds. Chris started them in the little green plastic trays that came with the kit. It had those little dried peat pads too. I remember how excited he was when they began to sprout in his window sill. We followed the directions and planted them outside as instructed, after they had grown so big. The back of our apartment had sliding glass doors. Monkey used to sit there all the time and watch the cars go by. Out back there was a small cement pad with landscaping on either side. Chris chose the spot in front of his bedroom window to plant his seedlings. I planted some Phlox and a few other things that I don't remember now on the other side of the patio. Our garden was SO beautiful! and it was the ONLY one in the entire stretch of apartments on that street. It stood out so nicely, we were proud that people would look at it as they drove by.
Chris's Sunflowers and Zinnias got SOOOOO tall! The Sunflowers reached the second floor windows! and the Zinnias grew well beyond the height of his bedroom window. I've never seen Zinnias grow that tall! He was so proud.
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