On Being Stopped by the Police

One thing we girls know how to do is keep a secret. I have been keeping mine for over 40 years. Another thing we do is to try and prevent situations that would cause us to be "found out".

Whenever I go out "en femme", which is now about twice a month, I worry about such things as: mechanical problems with my car, flat tires, having a traffic accident, maybe having my car stolen and so on and so on….

My worse fear however, is to be stopped by the police, arrested and taken to jail in a skirt and heels. I would have to let the world know about myself all at once. Well guess what?

One night, after leaving the Deer Park (see my first time en femme), I was driving down a desolate rural Maryland highway, heading for another bar, Talon's, about 25 minutes down the road. The road was rather empty and it was still early in the evening, about 9:00 p.m.

A four-wheel drive vehicle, heading in the opposite direction, passed by me. For some reason, I noticed the driver looking at me. As I got further down the road, I looked into my rear view mirror to see the vehicle make a U-turn and then the light bar on top started the blue-red flashing. Oh God, I thought. Please let it be going on an emergency call in the opposite direction. As it approached my car, I slowed down and pulled onto the shoulder, hoping it would just pass me by. The vehicle slowed and pulled onto the shoulder behind me. My heart was in my throat. My heart started pounding and I was more frightened than I have ever been before or since….

The officer got out and approached my door. I wound down the window and heard the words "license and registration, please". I fumbled through the glove box, retrieved the registration, reached into my purse and found my license and handed them to the officer.

After a few anxious seconds, he flashed his light in my face and said, "You 're a guy?". I said yes and he asked me to get out of the vehicle. When I got out, I was wearing one of my shortest skirts, and a silky blouse. My skirt had ridden up while driving, and I had to modestly adjust it in front of him. He told me to step to the back of my vehicle. He asked if I had a wife and children. I told him I did. He asked where I was from and was I in the area just to dress that way? Before I could answer, he said, "had anything to drink this evening?". I told him the truth, that I had one glass of wine several hours ago. He said that he didn't have a field sobriety kit with him, but that he was going to give me another type of DUI test. His demeanor was noticeably agitated at this point. I was shaking, either from the night chill or just plain fear. He told me that he was only going to give me the directions once and that I was to pay attention. I nodded agreement. I was still shaking. He asked if I was ok. I told him I was just very frightened at being stopped while dressed this way.

He began the instructions, " Put one foot directly in front of the other, heal-to-toe, and take ten steps, counting each one out loud. When you get to ten, turn on your heal without letting it come off the road surface, and repeat the walk for ten more steps. Do you understand all these instructions?" Nervously I said "yes". I had been driving without my 4-inch heels and was now standing in my stocking feet on the cold road. Many cars were passing by, slowing down, and taking-in the sight. I began the test and did everything exactly as instructed. I had no problem passing, but the turning on my heel had given me several runs in my stockings.

The officer then began reading me the riot act about the way I was dressed. I knew that he had no right to do that. And, I wanted to say something. But, I was paralyzed with fear that he would arrest me anyway and cause me the embarrassment of being arrested and found out by family and friends alike. I just listened until he was finished. He handed me back my documents, turned and returned to his car. He drove off with me still standing there at the rear of my car. As he drove down the road, I got back into my car. I was still trembling.

I managed to collect myself, start my car and continue down the road. When I got to Talon's, I walked inside, sat down and ordered a "coke". I was still trembling. A very nice young man came up to me. He introduced himself as Bob and asked me if I was OK. He said that I looked like there was a problem. I told him the whole story. He was very sympathetic and tried to calm me down. Bob said that because the cop appeared angry and left the way he had and having given me such a hard time about the way I was dressed, that he had probably stopped "an attractive women so that he could hit on her and was mad for choosing someone like me". I had my doubts about that explanation. But, it did give me a reason to laugh. Bob stayed with me for quite a while, making sure I was ok before returning to his friends. I thanked him for being so kind. I never saw him again after that evening.

Many times in my excursions out at different locations, I have found quite a few sympathetic individuals in the GLBT community, that have made me feel most comfortable as a transgendered individual. To all of them, your kindnesses are very much appreciated.

Enjoy life, I am.