Altar of the Church of Areaology

Welcome to the Altar of the CoA where we practice the religion of Bowieism, of the Church of Areaology, where we pay homage to the Sacred Area.

Tenets
1. We worship the supreme being David Bowie and his mighty Area. For the uninitiated, that is his crotch/sausage/bulge/area/etc.

2. We (as in Areaologists) admire the man and the music but we also admire the Almighty Area. This does NOT make us "less worthy" fans than those who appreciate only his music. If you care to argue this point we will launch Bowie's Bitches on your ass.

3. A sin against Bowie or any fellow Areaologist will result in you being excommunicated from the church as well as bowie_barea (our exclusive members-only forum)on Livejournal. No more "pervy goodness" or "special alone time" for you. For a list of sins be sure to visit the altar....these are not exclusive to this list.

Patron Saint of the C.o.A.
The patron saint of the CoA is Ziggy Stardust because, as we all know, Ziggy was the herald of all that is Area.

This picture is a rare representation of the power of The Burning Area, a force known to bring men to their knees, which is not to be confused with the Burning Bush. Biiiiiggggg Difference.
Ziggy brought us such inspirational hymns such as "Sweet Head", "Hang onto Yourself", and "Velvet Goldmine".

Symbol of The Sacred Area

The CoA has it's own official hand signal, the secret member sign given to us by The Bowie himself. The hand signal is a symbol of the Sacred Area and the power that emminates from below The Bowie's belt.
The sign originated from the song "Cactus" that David performed during the "Looking for Jackelopes" tour. During the performance when the backup singers spell David's name during the song he spelled the letters over the mighty Area in order to project the power over the crowd. (I have this video clip as well if proof is needed).
The C.o.A. symbol is derived from the letter V which is an obvious reference, for any true Areaologist, to the Almighty Area!
The V shape refers to the mighty pointy-ness itself! And therefor, the Power of the Area is present in David's name.........D A V I D! It is also found in his initials..."db"...Lance-a-lot is evident everywhere, thus reaffirming our great faith!
Hail Bowie!
Area power mesmerizes women from all over the world, as well as many men who suddenly find themselves doubting their heterosexuality upon feeling it's power. Area power is not to be underestimated in it's strength and awesomeness.

Areaologists are to greet each other with the symbol of the Sacred Area upon meeting one another. But use the sacred symbol with caution! Outsiders and the uninitiated will be confused and dumbstruck by the power and improper use of the symbol could cause great destruction!

by LJ's thedarkevilone.

C.o.A. Prayer of Atonement a.k.a. "Hail Bowie's"

by Cyran9

"Hail Bowie, beautiful face,
with bulging crotch and sexual grace.
'The Power' is with thee,
Blessed art thou with area-endowed.
And blessed is the fruit of your loins!
Holy Area, Bowie is my God, pray for us worshippers now,
and in the hours of our 'special alone time'!
A-Bowie!"

Contact The Church

PLEASE READ OUR DISCLAIMER BEFORE CONTACTING US

Hail Bowie!