~"Osama Bin-Ladin is a six foot tall Arab on dialysis...why is that so fucking hard to find?" (Robin Williams)

~"God bless you Canadian people. You're so fucking nice, eh." (Robin Williams)

~"Now, you can't even take a nail-clipper on a plane. What, are they afraid you're gonna go 'ALRIGHT! Hand over the plane or the bitch loses a cuticle! I have a nail file! I can be irritating!' " (Robin Williams)

~Marie: "These breadsticks are old."
Frank : "Well, you are what you eat!"
Marie: "Robby, give your father his helping of Miserable Bastard." (Everybody Loves Raymond)

~I'm not dumb but I can't understand why she walked like a woman but talked like man. (Lola, The Kinks)This song is in my head.

~"How about...bite me?" (Me to Cheryl at work.)

~"I have more fun when I'm asleep than when I'm awake." (Me, describing a dream I had.)

~Faces look ugly when you're alone.(People Are Strange, The Doors)

~Now what's done is done and what's won is won. And what's lost is lost and gone forever. I can only pray for a bright brand new day in the town I loved so well. (Town I Loved So Well, Paddy Reilly) This song really makes me miss Ireland.

~Living at home is such a drag. Now your mom threw away your best porno mag. ({You Gotta} Fight For Your Right To Party, Beastie Boys)

~Immerse your soul in love. (Street Spirit, Radiohead)

~"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?" (Chris Rock)

~Since you went away I've been hanging around. I've been wondering why I'm feeling down. You went away, it should make me feel better. But I don't know, oh. How I'm gonna get through? (What Have I Done To Deserve This, Pet Shop Boys)

~Blaine: "I have to take a whiz but I don't want to walk down the stairs and walk back up."
Me: "Well, go to the top, slap it over the ledge and take a whiz." (Sitting in the nosebleeds at the football game.)

Blaine: "This espresso tastes like crap."
My uncle: "Aye, so you've tasted crap, have you?"

~"You're like a bad rash that keeps coming back." (Me to Ryan at work)

~"Maybe someday we can both stretch out a bedsheet." (Someone to me)

~Ryan: "Are you coming over to bother me?"
Me: "No, I'm not. Don't flatter yourself."

~"We don't know how it's done in Saskatchewan but here in Alberta it's one parking stall per car." (A note my sister and I left on a car from Saskatchewan that was parked thisclose to us.)

~"Instead of parking in resident stalls how about next time you park under those signs that say "Visitor Parking"? Are you rude? I think so." (A note I left on a car parked in one of our stalls. I'm the queen of rude notes.)

~"So I said, "Yeah, you want that money? Well, you come and get it cause I don't know where it is, ya baloney. You make me wanna retch!" "(Homer Simpson drunk)

~"Hey, it's the twenty fifth anniversary of Commonwealth...holy fuck, I'm as old as the stadium!" (Me at a football game)

~"Happy early birthday Colleen. You're still younger than thirty but a quarter of a century old." (Sherril to me)