Title: Implications and Possibilities
Chapter 6
Harm knocked lightly on Mac’s doorjamb before stepping into her office.
"I just got off the phone with Andy. Catherine’s still in a coma but her condition seems stable. The sac around her heart hasn’t refilled with blood, so that’s a good thing. The doctor neglected to mention last night that he was a little concerned about bruising to the good kidney, but it appears to be functioning fine. He’s still not willing to give odds but Andy thinks the nursing staff are all pretty surprised she’s still around. He’s taking that to be a good sign."
"If she pulls through, I wonder how long she’ll need to recover?" Mac thought out loud. "This is going to get a lot harder for us before it gets any easier. We could have David for months."
A feeling of total warmth washed over Harm at the thought that without hesitation Mac considered the baby something they would have to deal with together.
"Any word on the blood work ups?" Mac asked.
"Yeah, they might have the results for us by the end of the day, but tomorrow morning is more likely." Looking around, Harm realized David wasn’t in Mac’s office.
"Mac, where’s the baby?"
"Jennifer took him with her. Said she had a light work load and could use some distraction."
Harm’s eyebrows shot up as his eyes widened. "Do you really think that’s a good idea? Remember what the admiral said."
Taking a moment to think about it, "You may be right." Tossing her pen on the desk, she stood up. "Maybe I’d better go get him." Mac left her office, with Harm in step behind her.
As they approached Jennifer’s desk they were alarmed not to find Jennifer, or the baby, anywhere in sight. Noticing the admiral’s door open, they quietly inched their way closer, listening intently to something going on inside the office.
When they reached the door the two officers couldn’t have been more surprised at the sight before them. On the ground in the middle of the floor was one powder blue baby blanket, one gurgling baby, and one two star admiral on all fours with his six to the wind, blowing on David’s tummy.
Had they not been so shocked at the vision before them, they would have been rolling over in laughter. Gracefully stepping back so as not to be seen. Harm turned to Mac.
"I didn’t see anything," he whispered, looking to the ceiling.
"Me neither, not a thing," Mac stifled a giggle.
"We’d better get back to work before someone sees us." Harm put his hand on the small of Mac’s back and guided her back through the bullpen.
George Washington Hospital
1800
ICU
Walking the distance from the elevator to the intensive care unit, Harmon Rabb couldn’t help but wonder about the changes in his life. One week ago he was finally feeling comfortable in his role as guardian to a teenager, happy to be back at JAG, and on friendly terms again with Mac. Now he may have a son who Harm might have to raise without his mother.
"How’s she doing?" Harm asked softly.
"No change." Andy stood up to greet Harm.
"What are the doctors saying."
"Same thing. Her chances are minimal. There’s a severe risk of infection. They’re concerned with the punctured lung that she may develop pneumonia. None of it is good. I just focus on the fact that she’s still alive. Where are Mac and David?"
"Home. It seemed silly to bring the baby here."
"I guess I got my answer about her." Andy looked at his sister.
"About what?" Harm wasn’t following him.
"I asked you if Mac was anyone special. You told me she was the best. She has to be to just step up to the plate for you like that."
"She’s an expert on saving my six. She’s had to do it more often than any sane person would expect." Harm pulled up a chair near Catherine’s bed.
"You don’t have to hang out here. I’ve got it covered."
"I know, I just wish Catherine had given us more to go on." Harm was watching Catherine intently as though he expected her to open her eyes and explain it all to him.
"She may have. I went through some more of her things this afternoon. In the same drawer we found the birth certificate and other papers, there was an envelope with a safe deposit key. This was in the envelope with the key, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about how that works do you?"
"Yeah, this is pretty simple." Harm looked over the papers Andy had given him. "According to these, Catherine has given you both her personal and medical power of attorney. This should be all you need to get into the safe deposit box. This also means you have the right to make all decisions about her treatment." Pausing to take a good look at Catherine, then Andy. "Including if you choose to end life support."
Andy had been standing behind Harm. Hearing his words, Andy flopped down in a nearby chair.
"Dear God, I hope it doesn’t come to that."
Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
2030
Mac was in the kitchen just finishing up with David’s bath when Harm came in the door.
She swiftly bundled him up in a fluffy towel and carried him into Harm’s room to put on his pajamas.
"Mac." Harm followed her into the bedroom, watching as she diapered and dressed the baby, pausing to kiss and tickle him between tasks. He marveled at how Mac handled the baby. Once David was dressed for bed, she moved over to feed him his bottle in the rocking chair they’d brought from Catherine’s.
"Let me finish here, I’ll put him down and you can fill me in over dinner." Mac pointed to the living room with her chin silently signaling for Harm to wait for her in there.
With the baby soundly asleep in the bassinet in Harm’s room, Mac began preparing two plates of food in the kitchen. Harm worked beside her in perfect synchronization tossing the salad.
"The lab called as I was leaving the hospital." He set the salad down on the dining room table and turned to face Mac. "The DOA and I are both the same blood type."
Mac stood frozen with the two plates in her hand waiting for the rest of Harm’s sentence.
"Either one of us could be the father." He watched Mac’s expression carefully. "We’ve submitted the DNA for identification."
"I see." Mac nodded her head, too numb to say anything else.
There was nothing left to do but wait. Sitting down, the two friends finished their meal in relative silence. Each one running through their minds just how much was hanging on the results of this test. If Catherine died Harm would love and care for this child regardless if David is his. But what would it mean to Harm, to them, if David is his and Catherine pulls through?
After much arguing and debating, Harm finally conceded it was better for everyone around if Mac stayed at his apartment for now, to help with David.
"Mac, I don’t have the right to ask this of you."
"You’re not asking, Harm, I’m offering." She moved closer to him.
"I’m not so sure the admiral will take too kindly to this, but I’m positive Webb won’t be happy." He moved a step away from her.
"Clayton has nothing to do with this." She brushed her hands through her hair in a show of exasperation.
"Maybe not about helping, but he certainly should object to your practically moving in with another man." Looking away, "I know I would," he mumbled softly.
"Where and who I choose to live with is just that, my choice. Even if Clay stayed around, he wouldn’t have a say in this. This is MY life and Clay isn’t a factor." She took another step closer.
Harm turned his back to her, he wanted to believe her. He desperately wanted to believe her.
Taking one last step, Mac nestled up behind Harm and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"I want to help you Harm," she practically whispered in his ear. "Let me."
It took years of practiced restraint to ignore her warm breath teasing the back of his neck. A simple nod of agreement seemed the best he could muster. Attempting to say, or do, anything else would have led to more than he feared either of them were equipped to handle at this point.
The next major battle was over who had custody of the couch. They shoved the pillow back and forth a few times. Harm proved to his satisfaction that Mac couldn’t possibly get enough rest to keep up with an infant on an uncomfortable couch. Mac, on the other hand, proved to everyone’s satisfaction that sleeping on a sofa half his size would render Harm useless for any real assistance with the baby at three a.m. Against his better judgement, still feeling the remnants of Mac’s breath on his neck, Harm relented to sharing the bed.
"Do you mind if I take the side of the bed closer to the bassinet?" Mac asked, tossing the extra pillow onto the far side of the bed.
"No, I sleep on this side anyway." Harm collapsed heavily on the bed. "Who would think something so small could be so tiring." His eyes closed.
Before Mac could comment, Harm was soundly asleep, still fully clothed, on top of the covers.
Chapter 7
Next Morning
Saturday
Mac and Harm had easily fallen into a successful routine after only two nights with the baby. By 0900 the three were on their way to check out a list of daycare options they’d gathered the previous day. The objective was to find a flexible location near the office. They felt if an emergency arose, it was more practical to have the day care near the office than near Harm’s place.
"What do you say we skip the next two on the list and check out the one there in a private home?" Harm pointed at the list Mac was holding without taking his eyes off the road.
"A Mrs. M. Taylor. Yeah, lets. These last three places seem so …institutional for a little baby." Mac frowned in agreement.
A few minutes later, Harm turned the corner of the appropriate street.
"What number are we looking for?" Harm asked.
"218. There it is, next to the open house." Mac waved her arm in front of Harm’s nose pointing to her left.
Parking the car in front of the house for sale, "What do you say we go through the open house? Could be fun, take a break before checking out this next place," Harm suggested.
"Works for me."
Handing the baby off to Harm, Mac reached into the back seat to grab the diaper bag. Throwing it over her shoulder like a purse, Mac slammed the car door and followed behind her newfound family.
"I love wrap around porches." Mac sighed, walking up to the house.
"Me too." Opening the door into the entryway, Harm turned to Mac. "Look at this, pocket doors. You don’t find that too often. I’ve always liked pocket doors."
Mac smiled, "I know I’ve always dreamed of a house with a library that had pocket doors."
Roaming aimlessly through the house, each of them pointed out the little things they liked. Neither one realizing how often they were in agreement. Upstairs, Harm paused to look out the window of the Master bedroom at the backyard.
"This place is great to raise a large family. I could see this being the sort of house every kid on the block would want to hang out in." Harm pointed to the driveway. "Not only do they have a basketball hoop but someone’s gone to the trouble of painting all the court lines."
"I agree, food and fun. Stock the fridge and the house will always be full," Mac laughed heartily.
Walking towards the stairs, "Look at the size of this landing. We could easily turn this into a rec area for teenagers. A pool table here, a window seat over there. This house really has great potential for someone." Harm said casually as he proceeded down the stairs and out to the back yard.
"Just picture all we could do with this." Mac said enthusiastically waving her arm around the yard. "We could make a sand box in that corner there, and when the kids are older, make it bigger into a volleyball court."
Harm chuckled. "You’d just love that, the entire neighborhood traipsing through the house, bringing the court sand with them." Shaking his head, he walked around the house to the front yard.
"This is a great house," Mac smiled.
"Definitely," Harm agreed. "Let’s go this way." Harm put his hand on Mac’s arm easing her across the lawn towards the babysitter’s house. "Might as well save a few steps."
Amazingly, neither Harm nor Mac noticed the ease with which they had comfortably transitioned from a conversation of what ‘I’ liked to what ‘We’ could do.
Leaving Mary Taylor’s house, Harm and Mac were both equally convinced there was no need to look further, this was the place for David. A licensed caregiver, Mary only took in three children, varying in ages. She had a current opening for an infant. Having raised 5 children of her own, she didn’t like the idea of a house without small children. Her two youngest children, aged 13 and 16, were the only ones still at home. It was her children’s friendly and polite demeanor that sealed the decision for them.
Mac’s apartment
Georgetown
1330
David was soundly sleeping in Mac’s room while she and Harm finished up their lunch.
"You sure you don’t mind staying here with David while I head over to the hospital?" Harm asked.
"Nah, this will give me time to pack up a few things, and rest a little too." Placing her hands on the small of her back, she stretched her shoulders letting out a soft moan and then a yawn. "Now I understand there are more reasons than a biological clock for having your children young."
Patting her lightly on her six, Harm chuckled. "You do okay for an old lady."
"Gee, thanks."
Harm reached out and grabbed Mac’s arm stopping her from turning away. Taking one step closer, he pulled her around to him and wrapped his arms firmly around her.
Inhaling the sweet scent of what was now Sarah MacKenzie mixed with baby powder, Harm whispered into her hair "Thank you."
Entranced by her warmth, Harm didn’t think to let go. Mac rested her head on his shoulder, burying herself in the crook of his neck.
"You’re very welcome."
They remained that way a moment longer, each of them drawing strength from the other. Raising one hand to delicately run his fingers through her hair, Harm kissed the top of her head.
"I really need to get going." It was the last thing he wanted to do, he knew holding Mac close like this was treading dangerous waters, he had to leave, now.
George Washington Hospital
ICU
Barely off the elevator, Harm was instantly aware of the unusual commotion at the end of the hall. His steps quickening, a wave of near panic rushed through him seeing various staff members rushing in and out of Catherine’s room with odd pieces of equipment and medication. The words ‘code blue’ echoed in the background.
A trembling hand grabbed hold of Harm’s arm. Looking down, he took note for the first time of Andy’s presence.
"They’ve been running around like that for almost 10 minutes."
"What happened?" Harm asked in an unsteady voice.
"She was laying still as always, when I noticed her hand twitching. The next thing I knew her entire body was convulsing, then the monitors starting screeching and I found myself being shoved out of the room by two nurses. I’ve been waiting here ever since."
The two men stood anchored to that spot like statues, staring coldly at the now closed door, barely able to breathe, waiting, praying for good news.
From the corner of his eye, Harm noticed a familiar shadow had risen from a chair across the hall and was now approaching them.
"Hello, Commander Rabb." She turned to Andy. "I’m sorry I can’t stay any longer. Please know my prayers are with you."
"Thank you so much for coming by. I really am sorry about your son."
‘Why does this woman look so familiar?’ Harm couldn’t ignore the feeling he knew this woman.
‘She knows my name.’ He frantically searched his memory for an explanation.
‘Sorry about her son, her son. Who’s her son?’ Harm struggled to put the pieces of the puzzle in place.
His eyes flying wide the instant recognition struck, "Mrs. Webb." Harm blurted out.
"You two know each other?" Andy asked rather surprised.
"The Commander here has been good friends with my son for many years." She blinked away the tears that had surfaced in her saddened eyes.
"Yes, ma’am. I owe Clay a great deal." He tried to hide his contempt for Clay since Paraguay.
"I really must be going, there are so many arrangements to make." She nodded gracefully to the two men and took her leave.
"Arrangements?" Harm looked at Andy.
"It was her son with Catherine. She just came from identifying the body. She wanted to offer me some hope for Catherine. Quite a lady I’d say."
Harm was shocked. He hadn’t really given much thought to whether or not Catherine and Clay had ever worked together, or if they even knew each other for that matter.
His head was reeling with all the implications. ‘Clay! Of all people Clay.’
The door to Catherine’s room flew open with a loud whoosh. The smirk on the physician’s face was all Andy needed for the air in his lungs to move freely again.
"You’re sister is something else Mr. Gayle. She has beaten every obstacle imaginable. In her current condition I would never have expected her to survive a seizure such as that, AND cardiac arrest. She’s a fighter. She may have just convinced me that miracles do happen." Slapping Andy on the back, the doctor glanced at Harm before returning to the nurse’s station.
Headed to his sister’s room with renewed hope, Andy didn’t even notice that Harm was still firmly planted in the same spot lost in thought.
So far, Harm hadn’t allowed himself the luxury of thinking of David as his son. At the revelation that Clayton Webb was the deceased passenger in Catherine’s car, Harm found himself fuming.
‘Some friend! It’s bad enough he steals the only woman I’ve ever loved. Now that sniveling spook has to have my son too!’
Starting to follow Andy to Catherine’s room, Harm stopped suddenly astounded at his own thoughts. ‘The woman I love? The only woman I’ve ever loved.’ Any repressed desires that may have been uncovered regarding his feelings for David were completely lost and forgotten at the startling discovery that Mac was the only woman he had ever loved. He most likely had known this for more years than he’d care to admit, but this was his first ever, conscious acknowledgement that Mac was the only woman for him.
All the anger and fury he so passionately felt towards Clayton Webb vanished instantly at the thought of Mac, not as his, but as Clayton’s. How was he going to tell her?
Chapter 8
Harm’s apartment
Near Union Station.
The entire length of the drive from the hospital to his apartment, Harm played over and over in his mind what he might say to Mac. He couldn’t for the life of him find words that wouldn’t break her heart.
Parked in front of his building, Harm stared blankly at the window above. Her silhouette moved across the apartment, stepping in and out of view like the shadows from a film noire.
Only the day before, Mac had insisted Clayton Webb wasn’t a factor in her life. No matter how much she insisted, Clayton Webb would be forever entwined with Sarah MacKenzie, if for no other reason than how much pain he willingly endured to spare her the same fate.
Truth be told, it wasn’t the bond of torture spared that frightened Harm, it was the bond that might have been forged in the wake of Paraguay that scared him to death. He knew Mac and Webb had been seeing each other. Heaven knows she reminded him often enough. What he hadn’t dared to contemplate was the closeness they might now share. Physically or emotionally. The thought of Mac in the arms of another man was something Harm couldn’t bare to consider for even a fraction of a moment in time.
Reaching for the door handle, he forced himself to move the lever. He had to face her. She had to be told. He hoped above hope that some brilliant flash of inspiration would strike and spare Mac the pain he knew this would bring. None came.
Quietly closing the front door behind him, Harm could hear Mac singing softly in the bedroom. Slowly he made his way over to the doorway of his room. His heart swelled at the sight before him, Mac was rocking slowly in the chair singing sweetly to a sleepy baby.
Hearing him approach, she smiled at Harm, rising to settle David in his bassinet, then quietly padding her way into the other room.
"You’re really enjoying this aren’t you?" He asked following her into the kitchen.
"You bet," Mac smiled playfully. "How many grown ups do you know who get the chance to play house?" Grabbing a couple of potholders, she pulled a casserole from the oven and set it down on the counter.
If the conversation before him weren’t so grim, Harm would have loved to let his mind wander, envisioning what it might be like to really play house with Mac.
Looking closely at Harm for the first time since he’d come home. Mac saw the darkness in his eyes.
"What’s wrong? Has something happened to Catherine?"
"Catherine’s still holding her own. Dinner smells good, I’m starving." Harm went through the motions of gathering the tableware.
"No, dinner can wait. What is it, Harm? Talk to me." Mac had moved closer to Harm, bracing herself against the island counter, something was definitely terribly wrong.
Debating with himself whether or not to do this now, Harm sighed heavily. "Maybe we’d better sit down on the sofa." He reached around and led her into the living room, taking the seat beside her.
"While I was at the hospital Catherine did have an episode. She had a small seizure and went into cardiac arrest. Interestingly enough, that has given the doctors a more hopeful perspective for her recovery."
"Then what’s really wrong?" The butterflies in Mac’s stomach now felt more like a flock of geese.
"They’ve identified the person in the car with Catherine." Harm considered if he should reach for her hand. He didn’t.
"It’s Clayton."
Mac’s hand momentarily rose to her face as her mouth formed a perfect O, then seamlessly slid back down, coming to rest on her now pounding heart.
"Are they sure?" ‘Maybe it’s a mistake,’ she hoped.
Harm nodded his head yes.
"Porter Webb came by the hospital to check on Catherine after identifying Clay’s body."
Mac sat back against the sofa, closing her eyes, she dropped her forehead into her hands.
Harm wished he could read her thoughts, knew what to say, to do. He had no idea how to comfort her. Before he could do anything, Mac shifted beside him.
"Would you finish setting the table, please. I’m going to check on the baby. I’ll be right back." Mac shot up, shoulders back, and practically marched to the bedroom.
Almost an hour had past. Mac stood in the corner of the room swaying side to side. The baby cradled against her chest, nuzzled under her chin. Harm could see the single stream of tears dripping down her cheek.
"Mac, you need to eat something, come with me. Please." He gently took hold of her elbow in an attempt to guide her to the bassinet. Much to his surprise, Mac submitted willingly. She laid the baby down and followed harm’s lead into the living room.
"I’m okay, but I’m not hungry just now. You go ahead and get something." Dazed, Mac walked over to the sofa and sat down grabbing hold of a nearby cushion.
Harm went to sit with her.
"Want to talk about it?"
"There’s nothing to talk about. We’ve just lost a very good friend." She looked up into Harm’s eyes wondering if he would contradict her.
"We have. I could never have repaid him for saving Sergei from a prison camp, and you from...you know." He couldn’t bring himself to say the word torture out loud.
Staring at nothing, Mac didn’t appear to be listening to Harm.
"I had no idea he had a relationship with Catherine." She let out a small chuckle that caught Harm totally by surprise. "I don’t know very much more about Webb today than I did eight years ago."
Harm was struck by her use of the name Webb instead of Clay or Clayton. She seemed unusually calm at the thought of another woman carrying her boyfriend's child. Or for that matter, his dying in her company. Could it be he had overestimated the seriousness of her relationship with Webb?
"Do you think Clay could be David’s father?" she asked, now looking at her fingers playing with the fringe on the edge of the cushion.
"I don’t know Mac." He really didn’t know what to think anymore.
"Do you think she loved him?" A single tear rolled down Mac’s cheek.
Gently, Harm reached up with his thumb to wipe away the tear.
"I don’t know that either."
"He deserved to be loved." Mac batted away more tears. "I tried, I really did."
And so the damn burst. Mac leaned into Harm and wrapped her arms around him. Caught slightly off guard, Harm barely hesitated to respond to her embrace. Slowly, he began gently caressing her back and stroking her hair.
Mac whimpered and cried until Harms shirt was soaked through with tears. Not for a single moment did Harm pause his soothing caresses. He occasionally kissed the top of her head, longing to kiss away all her tears.
When the tears finally subsided, and Mac’s breathing had returned to normal, Harm leaned away slightly to get a look at Mac’s face.
"What do you say we dry off and try to get some sleep before David wakes up hungry."
Sitting up and wiping her face with the back of her hands, Mac looked at Harm and then the kitchen. "But you haven’t eaten anything yet."
She started to stand, Harm reached out for her hand.
"I don’t really think I could eat. Why don’t you go get ready for bed and I’ll put dinner away."
Mac didn’t say anything, she didn’t make an effort to move, she just stood there staring into Harm’s eyes.
Unsure of what she might be thinking, Harm stood up and patted her gently on the shoulder. "Go on, a hot shower might make you feel better too." Harm kissed her lightly on the cheek and made his way to the kitchen.
That night, Mac crawled into the safety of Harm’s arms. He offered as little, or as much, comfort as she wanted, content in the knowledge she needed and trusted him. Nestled in the crook of his shoulder, she slept peacefully. As if he knew, David didn’t wake until 0500.
Chapter 9
JAG Headquarters
Monday 1100
Harm sat gazing out the window. He’d spent the better part of the last three hours accomplishing next to nothing. He’d shuffled files back and forth from one side of his desk to the other, but little progress had actually been made. No matter how many times he read each file, his mind always returned to David, Catherine, Mac and Clay, his imagination unfolding in various assorted scenarios.
He’d made at least one decision. It’s the only thing that made sense no matter the outcome. The only thing left to do now, besides wait, was to let Mac know what he’d done.
The buzzing of his intercom brought his mind back to the responsibilities at hand.
"Sir. There’s a Mr. Andrew Gayle at the front desk. Say’s he doesn’t have an appointment. Shall I send him up anyway?" The guard on duty inquired.
"Yes, that will be fine."
Opening his desk drawer, Harm pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen. The news couldn’t be good if Andy was coming in person. By the time he took the medication and returned the bottle to its rightful place, Harriet was at his door announcing Andy.
"Thanks, Harriet." He stood up and waved Andy into his office.
"Before you ask, Catherine is fine." Andy saw the wave of relief wash over Harm.
"As a matter of fact, there might even be good news. The nurse spent a good deal of time trying to explain why, but all I walked away with is Catherine is reacting to pain."
Harm, nodded waiting for more information.
"Apparently patients in a coma often do what the nurse kept referring to as ‘posturing’ and family members often cling to that as movement." Shrugging his shoulders, Andy continued. "Apparently it’s not really movement, but Catherine’s movements ARE a response to pain stimuli which leads the nurse to believe she may be on her way to waking up," he smiled eagerly.
"That’s great news." Harm leaned over and patted Andy on the shoulder sporting a broad grin.
"They’re still only giving her a 30% chance of recovery, but it sounds heavenly to me compared to Thursday night." He and Harm nodded in agreement.
"I can’t stay long. I want to be there if Catherine wakes up. I just wanted to give you this." Andy placed a plain white envelope on Harm’s desk. "I hope it helps." Taking a deep breath, he put his hands on his knees. "I’d better get back to the hospital." Without further delay Andy stood up. Leaning forward, he shook Harm’s hand and left.
Harm looked at the envelope that was now lying atop his many files. A plain white letter sized envelope with Harmon Rabb Jr. handwritten in a flowing script. Picking the envelope up as though it might burn him, Harm turned his chair around to face the window. Opening the sealed envelope he removed the letter and began to read.
Only a few minutes had passed when Mac came knocking on Harm’s door.
"I noticed Andy was here. Is everything okay?" She hated to just come out and ask if something had happened to Catherine.
Finishing the last of the letter, for the second time, Harm spun his chair around to look at Mac.
"Catherine is doing better." Pointing at the door. "Go ahead and close the hatch. We need to talk." He gestured to the seat in front of him with the hand still holding the letter.
Mac tried not to hold her breath. Yesterday had been a little tense at first. The news about Clayton had left the two of them walking on eggshells. Harm was afraid to mention him for fear of upsetting Mac. Mac was afraid to mention him because of David. Of course, it was David that made their day right. The little bundle broke the tension between them before they’d even had breakfast. Harm was just stepping out of the shower when he heard Mac’s cry.
"Uggh!"
Tightening the towel around his waist, Harm rushed into the room to see what had happened.
Sarah was standing in front of the bed by the baby, with her arms up in the air, staring down at herself.
"Are you okay, is something wrong?" Harm was already at her side scanning her body for anything out of the ordinary.
"I just broke the cardinal rule." She started to giggle. "I forgot to keep him covered."
She reached down tugging at the bottom of her t-shirt holding it away from her body.
"Here, let me help." Harm laughed, grabbing the towel that was draped around his neck, he began patting down Mac’s shirt. The wet spot unfortunately, was sprawled across her chest. Harm was making serious efforts not to react to the softness of her breasts as he pressed against them trying to wipe away the dampness.
Letting out a rather loud snort, Harm stifled a laugh, handed Mac the towel. "You’d better finish this." He kissed her on the cheek and walked back into the bathroom.
Mac stood there laughing loudly. It felt good.
The rest of the day was spent at home, enjoying the baby and remembering the good things about Clayton Webb.
Hearing Harm clear his throat, Mac realized he had been talking to her.
"I’m sorry Harm, what was that?"
"Do you remember me telling you that before Jennifer moved in with Mattie I was looking for a small house?"
"Vaguely." She nodded.
"Well, I thought about this a lot yesterday, and again this morning. If Catherine doesn’t make it, I’m going to be guardian to two children for at least another three years." He looked at her a moment while he gathered his thoughts about how to proceed.
"Even if Catherine pulls through, which is starting to look more likely, she will have a very long recovery time before she’ll be in any condition to take care of a baby."
"Agreed, so what are you saying?"
"I put a bid in this morning on that house we looked at Saturday." Unconsciously he pushed his seat back slightly, probably to avoid the potential line of fire.
"You what?" she questioned incredulous.
"I put in an offer on that house," he repeated.
"I thought that’s what you said. Don’t you think this is a bit premature? Not to mention the house is rather large for a family of three that could very well be a family of two, or even one, in less than a year." Mac tried to keep her voice calm, but what in God’s name was the man thinking?
"We both agree the house has great potential. It needs so much work that it’s a good buy, and I’ve already had plenty of practice fixing up my apartment." He rolled his seat closer to his desk feeling more secure she wasn’t planning on doing him any bodily harm.
"You’re mind is made up already?" It wasn’t really a question.
"Mac, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. I hope to some day be able to fill that house with my kids and all their friends on the block." He really wanted her to be happy for him.
"Well, I have to agree, the place could hold the whole neighborhood." She gave Harm half a smile.
"There’s something else. Read this." Harm handed Mac the letter.
Taking hold of the dangling sheet of paper before her, Mac sat back in the chair and began to read:
Dear Harm,
If you’re reading this then something awful must have happened to me.
I know I’ve said it before, but thank you. In the short time we’ve known each other, and the little time we spent together, you’ve become one of the best friends I’ve ever had. No one was ever so willing to sacrifice so much of himself in the name of friendship. Your support through everything means a great deal to me. I know beyond any doubt, that whatever life may throw my way, I can count on you to be there for me. Including whatever has caused you to read this letter.
I’m sure by now you must be wondering what would have possessed me to name you, a confirmed bachelor, as David’s guardian.
Here goes: You are the most honorable, noble man I have ever met. Your loyalty to your friends, and compassion for strangers is limitless.
There is no better man to set an example for my son. I know in my heart that you will love him and teach him to follow your legacy, of honor, loyalty and compassion.
You will be an excellent father. Someone he can look up to with pride and love. Someone he can go to in time of need secure that you will be there for him, as you have been for me, regardless of whether or not he’s brought his troubles on himself.
I have every confidence that you will love David as much as if he were your own son. You were born to be a Dad. His father is a good man, but he would never be a good Dad. Maybe it’s enough to know if I had met you first, perhaps he would be your son.
As for the confirmed bachelor, if I can’t be around to raise my son, I don’t know any other woman I would trust more with my child than Colonel MacKenzie. Don’t hand me that line about just friends. Stop lying to yourself. She’s good for you and she’ll be good for David.
I’m sure she’s already taking care of you and David. Let her.
Thank you,
Love,
Catherine
Mac set the letter down on the desk and looked up at Harm. He was staring out the window again.
"She’s right." Came out in a low strong voice.
His head snapped around to look at her.
"You were born to be a Dad. There is no better man for the job." Blushing slightly, "After all, I was willing to have you father my child."
"Was?" Harm knew this wasn’t the time for this, but it just came out.
"Am." The silence hung heavy between them.
Cursing her internal clock, "I have to be in Court in 12 minutes. Shall we finish this when I get home?"
"Yeah, later." Harm smiled but his heart wasn’t in it. He didn’t know if he would be up to this conversation, but he knew he couldn’t afford not to be.
Chapter 10
Harm’s apartment
Near Union Station
2005
Mac was exhausted after spending an extra two hours at the office trying to straighten out a paper snafu before court tomorrow morning.
Letting herself in the front door, she looked around slowly to see if the baby was still up. Her eyes fell on Harm, lying back on the sofa reading a file, with one soundly asleep infant perched on his shoulder. She couldn’t fight the huge grin that spread across her face. Catherine was right, he was born to be a Dad.
"Want me to put him to bed?" She was pretty sure Harm wasn’t ready to hand over the baby.
"Nah, he’s comfortable. He should be up soon anyway for his before bedtime bottle. There’s some pasta on the stove if you’re hungry." He nodded in the direction of the kitchen before returning to his folders.
"I guess you don’t need me anymore." Mac pulled out a plate and began serving some dinner. "You’ve taken care of David and dinner," she teased playfully, but deep down she feared there was more truth to her statement than she wanted there to be.
"We’ll always need you Mac." Harm stood up, taking David to the bedroom.
Mac started eating her dinner while she waited for Harm to return.
Taking the seat on the sofa next to Mac, Harm softly slid his hand back and forth between Mac’s shoulders.
She knew he was buying time to compose his thoughts so she continued eating.
"Would you consider staying with me to help with David?" Harm watched her swallow her mouthful, hard.
"Where?" She reached for some water, even though the lump in her throat was more than the pasta.
"Wherever." He was still gently rubbing her back.
"You really think you’ll need me." She set the dish and the glass of water on the coffee table.
"I could probably do it alone. Lots of single parents now a days, but I’d rather not have to." Harm’s gaze had been steady and sure. Mac didn’t know what to make of it.
"You’re going to do this house thing anyway aren’t you. I mean even though it looks like Catherine may recover and knowing David isn’t yours." She shifted slightly to better see his face but stayed close enough so he wouldn’t stop touching her.
"I don’t love Mattie any less because she’s not my biological child." His gaze looked steady, but his stomach was doing 9 G’s.
"True." She took a cleansing breath. "I suppose there’s plenty of room for me at the house." She tilted her head pensively.
"You could have the master bedroom, and I’ll even install a whirlpool tub for you." One eyebrow inched up slowly.
She wasn’t so sure a whirlpool tub was a suitable substitute for sharing his bed, but maybe it could be a start. Maybe this wasn’t such a crazy idea.
"I could build that sandbox you suggested for David too. " The corners of his mouth twitched nervously in an effort to smile.
"Could we get a pool table for the second floor landing? Bud and Sturgis would love that." A trace of a smile was slowly appearing on Mac’s face.
"Yeah, there’s probably hardwood under that carpet, I could pull it up and refinish the floors." His stomach was settling down, but his mouth wouldn’t stop. "If I re-seed, the yard will be great for barbecues."
"You’ll have to redo the kitchen first if you’re planning on barbecues." Mac shifted again leaning her back further into Harm’s touch. Maybe this could work.
"Okay, tub, kitchen, floors and sandbox. Anything else?" Harm raised his other hand to her back and began rubbing her shoulders in earnest.
"That will do. For Starters." Now she was grinning.
Eyes closed, her mind envisioned the entire scene:
*A warm summer day, not too hot, not too cold. She could see Harm through the kitchen window flipping burgers and chatting with Sturgis.*
"I love what you’ve done with the yard ma’am." Harriet walked over by the back door surveying the property.
"That volleyball pit was a stroke of genius."
"It started out as a sand box and Harm got a little carried away." Mac giggled as she put the salad into the fridge.
"Does he really want to put a pool in too?" Harriet turned back to where Mac was working at the counter.
"I think I’ve talked him out of it. I may just have to find a room for him to redo in the house. It never dawned on me when he finished remodeling the house he was going to want to keep going." Shaking her head, Mac picked up the tray of lemonade. "Can you get the glasses for me."
Before she could move, a three-year-old ball of fire came barreling down from the hallway and threw himself around Mac’s legs.
Maternal reflexes lurching into action, Harriet grabbed the tray from Mac before it all tumbled to the ground.
Nodding her gratitude to Harriet, Mac leaned down to properly accept the fervent embrace.
"Aunt Mac, Aunt Mac. Look what Uncle Harm gave me!" The excited child gleamed.
"I see, is that for your collection?"
"Yeah, it’s just like the one Grandma Porter gave me. Do you like it?" David’s eyes were round with joy.
"I don’t know who spoils him more, Harm or his grandmothers," Catherine Gayle sighed as she propped herself against the doorframe.
"What else is family for." Mac stood back up again, and patted David on the head.
Just as Harriet was about to reach for the back door, Harm came through holding it for her.
"Thanks, sir." She smiled as she stepped into the backyard, David flying past her.
"She’s never going to call me Harm is she?" Harm shook his head smiling at Mac.
"Look who just woke up and wants her mommy. I’ll trade you one hungry bouncing baby girl for some cheese for the burgers." He leaned over kissing his wife gently on the cheek.
"Deal." Mac reached for her three-month-old daughter Emily.
Harm took the cheese Mac handed him with her free hand and turned to Catherine. "Glad you could make it. I can’t believe how big he’s gotten." He stepped over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"You know how it is. Blink your eyes and they’re all grown up," she smiled.
"So they tell me." Harm turned and headed back outside.
"It’s nice to see how everything worked out." Catherine waxed sentimental.
"I owe you." Mac smiled as she fed Emily.
"For what?" Catherine sat down in the kitchen chair next to Mac.
"For all this." Mac looked around the kitchen and out to the yard, then she looked back at Catherine.
"For telling him I was good for him and to stop lying to himself."
Catherine looked over to where her son was buzzing around the yard with his new airplane.
"I think someone else deserves all the credit." Catherine Gayle smiled proudly at her beautiful son.
Mac scanned the yard, her eyes falling on the energetic little boy. She nodded her head and smiled knowingly.
Everything she had ever envisioned paled in comparison to the reality of what her life had become with Harmon Rabb all because of a horrible car accident, and a beautiful baby boy.
A/N: At the request of readers there is a sequel to this story : Implications and Possibilities II – The Missing Years.
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