Questions

I Offer up a prayer, blue flame burning,
Smoke begining to sting my eyes,
And still you refuse to listen.
Where are you, God of my ages?
Why have you forsaken me,
One of your beloved children?
Why do you speak to those around me,
But shut me out with hardly a whisper?
Have I somehow wronged you?
Are you like those who said they loved me,
Only to turn me away when I was not who
You thought I should be?
Do you do this thing to teach me a lesson?
If that be the case, then I hope I am learning well.

Will you, one day, open your heart to me again,
When I've proven my suffering was great enough?
Will you let me into the fold,
Even as one insignifigant Lamb,
In your whole great flock?
Or will I be forever shut out,
The Tyger stalking me
Around every other corner?

I hear them say that you
Can't possibly love who I am,
But did you not make me?
And if I'm so close to Damien,
For what reason do I still exsist?
Why is it, King of Kings, that you,
Who held eternal court in my heart,
Have ceased to acknowledge even
The smallest gift from
The Being of this peasant?

Or, perhaps, am I looking to deeply?
Are you there, on the surface,
For all, save me, to see?
Have I overlooked you in my
Search to find, of all people, you?
Do you now manifest yourself in other ways?
Like the acts of compassion others mention,
But I'm not aware of performing?
Or in the crying of a heart,
Hungering for the Solace
Of another human Being?

So my search begins anew,
But will you be any easier to locate now?
Perhaps you will still evade
A search of myself.
So, then, my only recourse is
A search of those around me.
And in the search, Great Spirit,
What will I find?
Will I find you, or
Will I find pieces of myself?

G. Lee VanDyke II
10-23-96

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