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Barbie - The Bips
Barbie is bassplayer in
The Bips from the Netherlands. She's a new breed of punk who's writes as well as she plays. I only picked 4 of her columns as she has more on her bands site so check em out, the music is just as potent.
Sex or Violence
If there's one subject that gives reason for discussions and which is still a major taboo, it's: sex. Everybody does it but nobody talks about it. Most people don't know how to deal with it in a relaxed way. Like so many other things, sex is about the feelings you have, you're the start. If you don't know what you're feeling, what you can feel with yourself, you can't share it with others. Nobody is the same, there only can be very similar feelings so it feels like if you're the same and that's nothing but fun! Cause feelings about sex are just as normal to share with someone else as other feelings -like going to the movies or a concert- cause everybody has these feelings. It's about feeling good and expressing that through sex, alone or with others: talking about it, thinking about it, fantasizing about it, it's all sex.
The worrying thing about it is that most people don't know what they're feeling so they can't handle their sex-feelings either. That's the reason why so many myths about men and women are kept alive: Men think about sex all day long (it's that hunters instinct from the prehistory), must care for their girlfriend's orgasm, think of a threesome with two girls as the ideal, don't ever fantasize about another man: "I'm not gay!" and if they had sex with several girls they're called 'man'. Women don't like sex they prefer hugging, they never have an orgasm, they never look at other people, they always have headaches and if they had sex with several men they're called 'slut'. Because of these myths and through the ignorance of many people, some people tend to judge other people. Sometimes they even beat up other people that have a different sexual preference or bother people as they can't control their own sexual feelings and try to force something upon others.
Also some people can exaggerate their sexual feelings, they try to fit in a group by labelling themselves extremely gay or straight. As I speak for myself I don't like labels but I don't think it's necessarily wrong to give yourself a name either, because if you like people of a certain gender you can make that clear by using that name. I only think it's a pity if the label shuts you off from feelings in advance. Feelings that can be more extensive than you already experienced up to now, feelings that care about the people you share those feelings with and not only about their bodies. I personally think the most important thing is that you can feel sex as something 'normal' that gets special by combining your feelings with the feelings of people you feel them with. Than it will become an enormous enrichment of your consciousness. And maybe it isn't easy to live the way you feel, especially if you don't have so much experience with that or if other people don't understand you, as long as you let that influence you.. your life gets real hard!
2001-Barbie L.L.