June 27, 2002 - (Thursday)
The week is almost over and I am very grateful for that, boy has it been a busy week. Trying to get a proposal out the door and knowing that I am taking next week off on vacation makes life busy-busy-busy.
I am still losing very slowly but am kinda OK with that....kinda..lol. I wish it were faster but it's not. I'm exercising and eating well, drinking my water, so it is what it is. 95 pounds in 6 months is nothing to sneeze at and I'm in such a better place than I was last year at the same time. This time last year, I was squeezing into 3x's and sometimes even a 3x wasn't big enough! I had purchased some new summer clothes last year, just to get by for the summer and was just miserable. I hated myself and hated how I looked and going to the beach every weekend and trying to appear "comfortable" was practically impossible. Forget even trying on my bathing suit, just forget that idea, I just didn't do it. We'd sit out on the deck and I'd just wear shorts and a top and sit under the umbrella, I wasn't sunbathing at all. I looked like a beached whale!! I was just miserable in my own skin and didn't want to be seen, at all. The only thing I really did at the beach was water the flowers and check for weeds growing and that's it. For some reason, I did have my bike down there, not like I was going to ride it, but it was there. I did ride one night with my niece (and believe me, not very far) and I knew at that moment, I had to do something with my weight, I could barely go two houses without my butt screaming at me to release it from the grips of that little bike seat!!! I used to be a big bike rider, riding 30 miles in a clip, but I had gained 100 lbs since I was actively doing that, so that was something of the past. Sheesh, I had let myself go down quickly and terribly with gaining so much weight. I was spiraling out of control with my depression and I knew I had to do something....I am so glad that come September, I went to the orientation with my surgeon and that set the ball rolling to get approval for the surgery and then surgery in December 2001.
This summer, although I still feel I am sooooooo big, and have 50 pounds more to go, I'm wearing size "L" tops and "L"/"XL" pants depending on the cut. I have also fit into several size 16 pants/jeans that make me acknowledge that "I'm getting there"... I'm far from being "there" but I am succeeding and I'm showing lower numbers on the scale, albeit gradually, but it is moving. My mood has improved 100%. I am happier than I have been in quite sometime (and I'm sure those around me could attest to that...lol). I do feel hopeful not hopeless any longer. This surgery is really just the best thing that has ever happened to me. It has given me a chance to attain goals I never thought possible. I don't know what made me so reflective today but I am so very grateful that my insurance covered my surgery, that I recovered so well and that I'm on my way to being healthier and happier than I have ever been... Lately when I see an overweight man or woman on the street or in a store, I keep thinking, sheesh, they could use the surgery. Wish I could shout it from the roof tops that this is a fabulous way to go when you've tried everything else and failed. However, I do know that surgery isn't for everyone. Not every overweight person is as unhappy as I was or is interested in having surgery, at all, regardless of how successful I am, so far. I cannot force my opinion on anyone nor would I try. I just know how happy I am and would like to see everyone who's struggled know that there is an alternative. Oh well, that's my opinion today...I am happy, this surgery has changed my life so drastically and I am ever soooo thankful that I'm doing so well....hope you all are well and I will see you next time. If I don't post again, prior to July 4th, have a safe and happy holiday, unitl next time...
July 7, 2002 - (Sunday)
I'm still away but was able to logon to the cable modem and decided to quickly update the page. We had a fabulous week here at the shore, weather could not have been nicer. I had to try to stay out of the direct sun since I'm on an antibiotic for a month for a bug bite, but all-in-all it was a really nice week. Since I've been here, I haven't been on the scale, so not sure what I'm down, if any since my last update. I really can't wait to go home and weigh myself and see if I'm down the 100 lbs. I've been pretty good with the eating. I have splurged on some treats since I've been here, hey I'm on vacation, but basically been really good (maybe the only bad thing is I haven't been paying attention to the amount of protein I've been eating and not eating ENOUGH!!). On the exercise front, I've ridden my bicycle every day and I'm kinda proud of that, since the weather was brutal most mornings, but I went anyway....so vacation was here and I didn't slack on the exercise....yea me!!! We are going home tomorrow and then on Thursday I'm off for FL for 11 days. If I can logon to the cable modem in FL, I will update the page, as usual. Hopefully, I will be updating tomorrow and be announcing my 100 lb. goal...my No. 1 goal since the surgery....OMG, how happy will I be???? Ok, Ok, I am a little addicted to the scale and I can't wait to attain my first milestone....ok all, till tomorrow... |
