| Post Op Journal, Let the Journey Begin... |
| October 6, 2002 - (Sunday) I am definitely feeling better today, but am still so depressed about all my co-workers. Not sure what this week will bring, but I'll handle it no matter what (like I've got a choice, but whatever!!!) So what does a depressed girl do????? GO SHOPPING!!! *lol* I went with my sister to Harriman NY Outlets and spent, spent, spent. I really didn't NEED anything, but got a lot of tops/sweaters for fall/winter and it was really fun. I still have a lot of pants to wear for the fall/winter in size 14, so I really didn't need any, but it's so fun to wear "normal" sizes and not being in the "big girl" sizes any longer. Not to say anything bad about the "big girl" department, but the styles are so matronly and I hardly ever got anything stylish, so it's definitely more fun to shop now. I used to get so tired of wearing things from Lane Bryant, because they have like 6 outfits a season, in various colors and patterns and that's it. Not sure if they have changed since I haven't shopped there in over a year, but I am soooo glad that they are not on my list of stores any longer. Yea me!!! I'm really eating so much better and water is definitely not a problem any longer. I was just remembering what a issue the water was early on (when I had a stricture) but boy, is that a thing of the past. Thank God!! I'm planning a vacation/work expedition to Florida in a few weeks (on the 17th to be exact) and can't wait to go. I am planning on going to Disney and doing some day trips. If work cancels my ability to "work from Florida" I'll be taking a long vacation. But whatever it is, I'll be happy to get away. I say that I want to get away, but I love Fall in the Northeast and the weather is just fabulous. The leaves are beginning to change, there's a nip in the air and seemingly, nothing bad should be happening when I am happy with myself and the weather. I just ADORE Fall!!! Oh well, just wanted to report a healthier mind-set today. I am still feeling an overwhelming sadness and but I am sure things will work out for all involved. I hope I'm not being overly optimistic (this isn't the best time to be looking for work), but I'm keeping everyone in my prayers and hope that helps. I'll be updating again this week, my 10th anniversary is on the 11th, so check back again in a few days....till next time... October 8, 2002 - (Tuesday) Well, big meeting tomorrow at work to discuss the reorganization of my group and where we will land up. I'm still afraid since I know the group that I believe we are being moved to already has a financial person (which is what I do), so ya never know what lies ahead for me and the future of my position. Ugh, I hate to worry worry worry, but it's definitely my nature, so hopefully the meeting tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. will calm my fears of imminent DOOM!! Weight remains the same as above, so I am assuming only a 6 pound loss this month. I guess I'll take it but I don't have to be happy about it. :) I know if I ate more, the weight might come off a bit faster, but I'm really never hungry. I'm eating tuna about every day but that's not a lot of protein to equal what I should be eating in one day's time. I wonder what other post-ops eat all the time, I wish they would write more in their journals what they eat. I feel like we are all out here on our own with what we eat and how we supplement ourselves. I know I'm not following any program, to speak of, and I guess I should. I take all my vitamins daily, but my food intake is really wanting. My desire to eat, like I used to, is totally gone. I used to wake up in the morning and desire food, large quantities of food, and that does not exist any longer. I'm not saying that I don't eat cake, donuts, candy, chips, pretzels, etc. But when I eat that food, it's small bites/quantities and that's it. I used to consume mass amounts of sweets/cake/food in one sitting that, upon reflection, is just embarrassing and amazing that one woman could eat that much...but I did -- constantly!! I'm so thankful that this surgery has given me restraint and control. I didn't realize that this would happen. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat so much in one sitting but I never imagined that the desire and desperate need/wanting would be gone too!! It's just fabulous. I hope it stays gone forever --- guess I'll just take that a day at a time. Oh well, it's late right now, just hope I survive tomorrow at work....till next time... |
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