1. Make race car noises when anyone gets off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to
show the contents of your kleenex to the passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while
smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut
up!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World"
incessantly.
5. Sell girl scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway from side
to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open
your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
9.
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the door open, then act embarrassed
when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper:
"Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator
with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you
hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink!" at the bottom.
16.
Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while,
and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people
have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19.
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet
the other passengers you can fit a quarter up your nose.
22. Frown and mutter,
"Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "Oops!"
23. Show
other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary Had
A Little Lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes
away!!!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that
says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for awhile,
then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the
elevator.
28. Burp, and then say, "mmmmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a
box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the
button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers
"through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is
silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35.
Shadow box.
36. Say "ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the
button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red
buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a
little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this
is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite
out of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43.
Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45.
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body!"
46.
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.
48. Wear "X-ray specs" and leer suggestively at other
passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger!"
50.
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"