28th April 2005 I suppose I should mention the Champions League game against Liverpoo in passing, although I haven't got much to say, over and above that I thought Chelsea looked a little lacking in both energy and inspiration, whereas the scousers were clearly playing well above their usual game. Let's hope our boys regain their vitality against Bolton on Saturday and manage to keep it going until the second leg against Liverpoo on Tuesday. That foul-smelling quack Dr Les has launched another savage and uncalled-for assault on my integrity. This time he's implying that my loyalties are split when it comes to playing Bolton. For some daft reason he thinks that I have a soft spot for them because I once jokingly booed Chelsea for scoring a goal against them that saved another club (I think it was monkey-head Peter Reid's Everton) from relegation. If I had twice Les' brains I'd be a halfwit.. 11th April 2005 UEFA's official response was that they knew nothing apart from the fact that "he's from Spain". Taking the piss, or what ? In fact it was left to the Spanish Council of Sports Arbitration to eventually confirm that Senor Josep Lluís Vilaseca Guasch is not only from Barcelona, but is in fact a "socio", or member of Barcelona FC ! Interestingly it wasn't until after this had come out that Senor Guasch stood down as head of the disciplinary committee for the Chelsea hearing. If you're not a great believer in coincidence it's hard to interpret this in any other way than that he only did this because he had been rumbled, although you would sincerely hope that this isn't the case, wouldn't you ? Whatever the reason, this perfectly demonstrates both the autocratic nature of UEFA and the, for want of a better word, haphazard way they interpret their own rules. Not to mention the hopelessly inept way they handle their public relations. The second, and far more sinister fact that's emerged from all this is that there are TWO entrances to the home changing room at Barcelona. One of these leads, guess where ? That's right, the "secure" area where the referee resides ! The referee in question, Mr Frisk, has already confirmed in a signed statement (the one that UEFA refused to allow as evidence in the discliplinary against Chelsea) that Rijkaard was in the secure area at half time wanting a word and that he had to twice tell him to piss off. If you take this at face value, and there's no reason why you shouldn't, the question has to be: how can Jose or Steve Clarke be guilty of lying ? It would seem that UEFA official William Gaillard actually got it half right when he unilaterally declared days in advance of the disciplinary hearing that "We are in the presence of false statements." The half he got wrong was that he was referring to Chelsea Football Club staff when he should have been looking at that fucking llama "Mr Spitty" Rijkaard. It seems to me that not only Gaillard, but in particular Rijkaard and the UEFA monitor cunt whose sole job was to keep an eye on what was going backstage, have got some explaining to do, don't you think ? Come on, you wankers, we want some answers ! 8th April 2005 This revelation totally vindicates Jose, and Buck and Kenyon must immediately remove their arses from the fence and start backing him to the hilt like they should have done from the beginning. They can start by launching a court action with a view to extracting punitive damages from UEFA and Barcelona for premeditated character assassination. Furthermore it's well past time something was done about the autocratic way UEFA is run. The very minimum that's required is a swingeing cull, starting with William Gaillard and Volker Roth, who blatantly abused their position by declaring in advance of the enquiry that Chelsea were liars, plus any of the others who run this bloated organisation who refuse to apologise. All this is fucking shameful, but it will be infinitely more shameful if as I suspect, Buck, Kenyon and UEFA between them try to sweep this under the carpet. So much so that if it happens I will be tempted to advise Jose, Clarkey, "Ole JR" Abramovich, Dr Les and all Chelsea fans to join me on a march on UEFA headquarters with view to a lynching or at the very least a good tarring and feathering. 5th April 2005 30th March 2005 24th March 2005 I shouldn't worry about the threat of points deductions if Chelsea are found guilty of "tapping up" Ashley Cole, either. Let them, it won't make any fucking difference other than to make the race for the title a bit more exciting. 17th March 2005 I think the real issue is this: the whole thing started when Jose accused Frisk and Rijkaard of getting together for a cosy chat at half time in the first leg. Chelsea were cruising at 1-0 up until Anders came out for the second half and immediately sent off Dogba for what looked to all the world like no good reason, after which Barcelona were able to take control of the game. Of course this could be coincidental, and Anders and Rijkaard are certainly denying the chat ever took place. Logic therefore dictates that either Jose, or Anders and Rijkaard, are telling whoppers. With me so far ? Good. Now ask yourself the following question: who has more to gain by covering up the truth ? Not Jose, that's for sure - Chelsea won the game and are through to the quarter finals, so why is Jose sticking to his guns even now, risking fines and god knows what ? Dare one suggest that it might be that he's telling the truth ? Could there be a hint of corruption involving a senior UEFA referee and the manager of one of the biggest clubs in the world ? If it's true don't hold your breath waiting to find out; I wouldn't mind betting that it will end up getting swept under the carpet. More updates as this sordid little story develops... 11th March 2005 This was achieved by indulging in an umseemly wrestling match with stewards and the fourth referee as they trooped off the pitch, while other Barcelona players were seen arguing viciously with each other outside the dressing room. On top of all this capital entertainment we get Sammy Eto'o falsely accusing a Chelsea steward of calling him a monkey, then announcing to the press that "Chelsea going through is a disaster for football. If this team wins the Champions League, it would make you want to retire". Hmmm.. Does one detect the odour of sugarless grapes ? Surely not... A final word, as I would not want to be accused of lacking grace in victory: correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it Sammy who suggested before the tie that he would single-handedly take Chelsea to Sketchleys, calling our fabulous defence slow and our attack shite ? Monkey ? donkey, more like.... 25th February 2005
Dutch Courage And The DTs What am I on about ? Allow me to elucidate: on Wednesday night at the Nou Camp stadium Mr Frisk was clearly seeing things that weren't there, and equally he was not seeing things that clearly were there. Classic symptoms of Delirium Tremens, as sadly witnessed by 100,000 fans and countless millions on TV. I am referring in particular, of course, respectively to the sending off of Chelsea's Didier Drogba for absolutely no valid reason when Chelsea were cruising with a 1-0 lead, and the fantastical swallow-diving antics of Senhor Deco which should have resulted in at the very least a booking, but instead engendered from Fisky only a rueful smile and a wave to get on with the game. If that's not the DTs I am a fucking Dutchman !
Death In The Afternoon Now I am normally a firm subscriber to the belief that bad refereeing decisions usually even out over the course of a game, but this clearly did not happen on Wednesday night. Encouraged by a baying crowd of bull-baiting nutters and extravagant cheating from all the Barcelona players including their fucking cunt of a goalie, Frisky Anders' hallucinations became ever more outlandish, thus ensuring that a 10-man Chelsea had no realistic chance of getting a result. Unsurprisingly, once Drogba had gone Barcelona were able to absolutely cream Chelsea off the park, and when they brought that girl Maxi on it became embarrassing. How Chelsea held them to 2-1 is a mystery. But I digress.
Salty Cod The point I'm trying to make is that there's something very fishy in all this, or should I say frisky. I am indebted to Dr Les for reminding me that last time Frisk reffed a Chelsea match in the Champions League he sent off Celestine Babayaro and gave two penalties against us - and that was in a quarter-final ! This time he was clearly seen having a laugh and an joke with Frank "Mr Spitty" Rijkaard at half time by everyone in the dressing room area, except, that is, for the cunt from UEFA who was there precisely to stop this sort of thing from taking place ! I fucking ASK you...
Keep Taking The Tablets That is my case for the defence. Draw your own conclusions, but whichever way you look at it you will be hard pushed to arrive at any that are more half-baked than mine. Speaking of half-baked conclusions, I emailed Dr Les this morning to get his side of the story (no, do not laugh), and here's his reply: Sir, I read with interest that Mr Spitty went to the ref's dressing room at half time and had a champagne bath with him and the linesmen. Rijkaard wanted Didier off as he was causing Barcelona too many problems, so Anders gave him one up the arse (Rijkaard, not Didier) and dusted off his red card. On a slightly different subject, it is also interesting to note that Mark Hulse was the same referee who gave Carlo Cudicini his marching orders the last time he was sent off, and the card had to be rescinded - remember that thing with Dean Windass, fat northern monkey that he is ? Well, the same Mark Hulse was spotted in a bar in Durham on the Saturday night before the Newcastle game, obviously drunk and ranting that "the Italian" (Carlo) had made a fool of him before, but that this time he'd send him off and he'd stay sent off. And that's exactly what he did ! There is a trend here - 2 defeats, 2 red cards. They've given up trying to kick Chelsea off the park, now they are getting them sent off by the fucking ref. To quote Gloria Gaynor, "We should have changed the fucking lock." Er, obviously I will be happy to print a full retraction should Mr Hulse get to hear about this, but on the whole I couldn't have put it better myself. Thanks, Les, and Up The Blues ! Previous rants
© 1996-2005
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
No News Is Bad News
It's gone suspiciously quiet, both at UEFA and Chelsea Football Club, over the Mourinho ban scandal. Let's hope this does not mean that it's been conveniently "forgotten". It doesn't take a genius to work out that allowing UEFA to get away with resorting to blatant cheating to get their way is incredibly bad for football.
Bent As Arseholes Or Just Salty Cod ?
I'm indebted to Klaus for pointing out two facts about the UEFA stitchup that I haven't mentioned. Neither of these are exactly breaking news, as they've been reported both in an excellent article by Martin Samuel in the Times and also by foreign newspapers like Der Spiegel, but I make no apologies for dragging this up, as I haven't thus far ventured my own slant on it. The first of these facts is that the head of the UEFA kangaroo court, er, I mean Disciplinary Committee, is from Barcelona, although UEFA seemed blissfully ignorant of this when questioned by the British press in the days leading up to the hearing.
Sue Now Jose
Some people are expressing shock and horror that it has emerged today that UEFA failed to include Frisky's report of his meeting with Rijkaard in their kangaroo court against Jose and Chelsea because they KNEW it would undermine their case. Well I'm not at all surprised - it was clear from the start that UEFA wanted to nail Chelsea. What we didn't know is that they'd stop at nothing, including refusing to take account of vital evidence, to do it.
UEFA Banana Republic Flattens Jose Shocker
It looks like we won't be seeing any court action from Jose against UEFA. I can't say I'm surprised - the deck is too heavily stacked against clubs and their employees when fighting the autocrats of UEFA, as horribly demonstrated by the Chelsea board's refusal to back Jose by appealing against his touchline ban and fine. Their excuse is that they're afraid that UEFA will increase the penalty on appeal. Unfortunately Jose doesn't seem to be too impressed by this and is rumoured to be chucking the toys out of his pram, big-style. Yawn...
Dr Les Goes Soft Shocker
I've received a message from Dr Les that gives me cause for concern - he's actually agreeing with me for once ! We should however keep things in perspective: this rare show of unity concerns the Barcleona shenanigans and frankly only a dysfunctional lunatic would be able to find fault in my pronouncements on the subject. Read on if you must...
UEFA Lose The Plot ?
Chelsea should get on and sue UEFA boss William Gaillard and Volker Roth for the accusations they've been making in advance of the disciplinary proceedings they've instituted against Chelsea. By publicly stating that Chelsea lied in the complaint they submitted to UEFA following the the first leg of the Barcelona match they are surely prejudicing the outcome of the enquiry. The hypocrisy of these people is breathtaking - they clearly think they can do or say anything they like, but at the same time they would like to silence any flicker of dissent against their autocratic and bloated organisation. It's time someone stood up to them. Fuck off, UEFA !
Jose Takes on UEFA Big Guns
I have an observation to make about the argument between Jose Mourinho and Volker Roth, UEFA referees chief. To sum up, Roth says that Jose is an "Enemy Of Football". His reasoning for this appears to be that he blames Jose for indirectly inciting Chelsea fans to make death threats to referee Anders Frisk following the first leg of the Barcelona Champions League tie. It's obvious to anyone with a lick of sense that this is an awful load of old tosh, and frankly if I were Jose I would be speaking to my lawyers right now in anticipation of a well-deserved financial windfall via the courts.
Barcelona Get The Blues
A fantastic match against Barcelona in the Champions League, probably the best I've ever seen Chelsea play - certainly the best since the last time we beat the same club a few years ago in the same competition. The added bonus this time was the pathetic sight of certain Barcelona players, including the World Footballer of the Year, demonstrating exactly what they had meant when they were having a dig at Chelsea about being graceful in defeat as well as victory after the first leg.
Chelsea Get Frisky In Barcelona
As Chelsea have been accused of being poor losers since the defeat at Barcelona the other night, I will attempt to put the case for the defence in a rational, thoughtful and balanced way, as I believe my readers have come to expect. I have been doing some research: the English definition of the Swedish word "Frisk" is "well or healthy, opposite of ill." I would suggest that in Anders Frisk's case this is an misnomer of epic proportions, as he is clearly very far from being well. Rather he appears to be suffering from Delirium Tremens, popularly known as the DTs, or some other comparable psychosis, and I'm sure even Dr Les will be able to confirm this diagnosis with some confidence.
