A Meeting of the Clans!

Mickey-isms

Here are mostly the familiar quotes we are comfortable hearing from Mickey telecast after telecast! Some are just classic Mickey!

"Woah!  Look at the size of that octopus!"  

- Mickey awestruck by a prodigious cephalopod.  (May 14, 1998)

"Put the puck on the net - good things happen!"  

- Mickey philosophizes about Brendan Shanahan's low percentage, end line goal on Grant Fuhr.  (May 14, 1998)

"Then down he goes like he was shot with an elephant gun!"  

- Mickey ridicules Pierre Turgeon's embellishment of a minor crosscheck.  (May 12, 1998)

"Roenick seemed to blow a tire on his own!"  

- Mickey disputes a tripping penalty called on Igor Larionov.  (Apr. 22, 1998)

"Gimme a good old-fashioned Louisville, baby!"  

- Mickey harkens back to an earlier, simpler age after the stick blade falls out of Sergei Federov's shaft for the third time during a game.  (Mar.-Apr. 1998)

"Not even close!  He'd need a 20 foot stick to get that one!  Even Southern California knows a bad pass when they see one!"  

- Mickey ridicules the passing acuity of the Mighty Ducks.  (Mar. 26, 1998)

"The ducks were almost hoisted by their own petard!"  

- Mickey chides the Mighty Ducks for another turnover in their own end.  (Mar. 26, 1998)

"He was born at night, but not this night!"  

- Mickey approving of a veteran play.  (Unknown)

"He's got those happy feet-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-he's gone!"  

- Mickey imitates the sound of Sergei Federov's skates when he dekes an opposing player on the ice.  (Mar 2, 1998)

"They're ducking all over New jersey tonight!"  

- Mickey exclaims as yet another puck flies up into the stands.  (Jan 21, 1998)

"A hockey player without a stick is like a duck without wings!"  

- Mickey twisting a cliche to describe the Wings essentially playing 5-3 hockey for 1:20 after Steve Yzerman lost his stick. They killed the penalty.  (Jan 12, 1998)

"Statistics are for losers, unless you have good ones!"  

- Mickey quoting somebody.  (Jan 12, 1998)

"You can head for your parties!  This one's over!"  

- Mickey gives the New Years Evening crowd at the Joe permission to leave as the Wings go up 4-1 on St. Louis.  (Dec. 31, 1997)

"Brendan Shanhan with the big wind-up and the fake, and he got Pronger standing still, and when you do that with Brendan Shanahan, something's going to happen!  Either he's going to go around you and you get a cold from the draft going by or you're gonna get a hook on him and pull him down and end up in the bin sitting by yourself!  And, even there, you can get a cold sitting over there for a couple of minutes"  

- Mickey assesses the health risks of defending against Brendan Shanahan.  (Dec. 31, 1997)

"Detroit's had some chances. They haven't been able to extend their lead and Toronto's just hanging around there like a bad smell right now!"  

- Mickey paints an odoriferous picture of the Maple Leafs.  (Dec. 26, 1997)

"He faked Billington right out of his jock strap!"  

- Mickey laughs as Tomas Holmstrom "undresses" the Colorado goalie. (Dec. 17, 1997)

"I give Larouix a 9.8 on my scale.  Ha, ha, ha!  That may be a perfect 10!"  

- Mickey grades the diving antics for Francois Larpouix. (Dec. 17, 1997)

"McGeough is really hearing it from the Red Wing bench!  His head is on a swivel over there!"  

- Mickey relishes the abuse taken by referee Mick McGeough for a lame penalty call against the Red Wings. (Dec. 17, 1997)

"Don't play the puck against this guy, boy, or you'll end up short of equipment!"  

- Mickey summarizes the result of not playing the body against Igor Larionov. (Dec. 14, 1997)

"What a difference a year makes!  When he was in Detroit, he couldn't stop a beach ball!"  

- Mickey muses over the return of Bob Essensa. (Dec. 12, 1997)

"Holy Mackeral!  They're going into the popcorn stand tonight!"  

- Mickey talks about the flurry of goals as the Wings go up 6-3. (Dec. 9, 1997)

"The Wings have to get it going.  They're not running on all 12 cylinders!"  

- Mickey deriding the lackidaisical play of the Red Wings  (Nov. 28, 1997)

"Maltby ran over Tucker like a steamroller!" 

- Mickey appreciating yet another powerful check by Kirk Maltby  (Nov. 28, 1997)

"It was Kozlov at the other end that put the how-do-ya-do on Chris Phillips!" 

- Mickey slipping in a euphamism for beating a player along the boards.  (Nov. 26, 1997)

"The Ottawa Senators are just a day late and a dollar short!" 

- Mickey apprising the effort of the Ottawa Senators.  (Nov. 26, 1997)

"The puck's bouncing around there like a rubber ball!" 

- Mickey making excuses for Jocelyn Thibault misplay of the puck prior to Anders Eriksson's goal. (Nov. 22, 1997)

"The Canadiens play that firebrand type of hockey!" 

- Mickey describing the pace of the game. (Nov. 22, 1997)

"Savage was Johnny-on-the-spot and scored the goal!" 

- Mickey telestrating Brian Savage's goal against Chris Osgood. (Nov. 22, 1997)

"The kid's got eyes in the back of his head and he's a waterbug!" 

- Mickey on Slava Kozlov's skills. (Nov. 21, 1997)

"They're jammed in here with a shoe horn tonight!" 

- Mickey going on record about Chicago's first sell-out of the year. (Nov. 16, 1997)

"The Blues came out of the gate like they were shot out of a cannon!" 

- Mickey fired up about the play of the St. Louis Blues. (Nov. 15, 1997)

"He didn’t get his money’s worth!" 

- Mickey disapproving of Mike Ricci’s haircut. (Nov. 11, 1997)

"He could thread a needle in the dark!"

- Mickey raving about Igor Larionov’s demonstration of skill as he threads a pass to Brendan Shanahan for a goal. (Nov. 9, 1997)

"Oh, do you love to get those!  Thank you very much! Slam dunk!"

- Mickey verbalizing Brendan Shanahan’s thoughts about a pretty pass from Igor Larionov for a goal. (Nov. 9, 1997)

"There’s five Penguins – You could throw a blanket over them!"

- Mickey painting an image of Pittsburgh clogging up the middle of the ice. (Nov. 7, 1997)

"Oh, it’s a goal!  I heard that funny clank!  There’s no other sound like it in the world!"

- Mickey discerning the sound the puck makes when it hits the back support bar in the net. (No date)

"He really left his jock strap hanging off the clock"

- Mickey observing a speedy Wing skating around a befuddled opponent. (No date)

"Hold it right there, gang!"

- Mickey directing the video replay technicians while working on the Telestrator. (Every broadcast)

"The Ducks look like they’re skating in sand!"

- Mickey observing the lethargic play of the Mighty Ducks. (Oct. 23, 1997)

"...and, bingo, there’s the shot!"

- Mickey punctuating his description of Rod Blake’s scoring shot on Kevin Hodson. (Oct. 24, 1997)

"Well, that will send them to the exits in droves!"

- Mickey predicts the effects of Steve Yzerman’s short-handed goal to make it 5-1 against Vancouver. (Oct. 26, 1997)

"...Oh, goodness!  He’s just jumping around there like a monkey on a high wire!"

- Mickey exalting about Doug Brown's forechecking. (Oct. 29, 1997)

"Well, he’s a dandy!"

- Mickey effusing after Nicholas Lidstrom scores on Mikhiel Shtalenkov. (Nov. 2, 1997)

"Stoned him!"

- Mickey reacts as Chris Osgood stops Teemu Selanne’s breakaway shot. (Nov. 2, 1997)

"Rucchin’s right there!  He’s digging for gold!"

- Mickey championing Steve Rucchin’s tenacity in front of the goal. (Nov. 2, 1997)

"As Lindros went for coffee, Janssens put the cream in it, did he? The cream and the sugar!"

- Mickey lauds Mark Janssens’ skill as a face-off man. (Nov. 2, 1997)

"All around it but no cigar!"

- Mickey lamenting the Wings’ results on a power play. (Nov. 2, 1997)

---

The Tao of Mickey

Here is where Mickey passes on the wisdom of over 40 years of hockey to the rapt viewing audience.

"A broken clock is right twice a day!"

- Mickey demonstrating a timeless sense of whimsey. (Mar. 28, 1998)

"It's a game of mistakes - this game of hockey! The Red Wings made one there and Toronto made them pay for it!"

- Mickey philosophizing about the essense of hockey. (Dec. 27, 1997)

"Ron Lowe said, "If diving was an event in the Winter Olympics, Peter Forsburg should take part!"

- Mickey quoting a relevent source as Forsburg dives when tapped by Yzerman's stick. (Dec. 17, 1997)

"When you get the dog down, give it another kick!"

- Mickey postulating the theory that no lead is too big -- as the Wings open up a 5-2 lead.  They won the game 7-5.  (Dec. 9, 1997)

"Shanahan was able to get himself in position to get good lumber on the shot!"

- Mickey building on Shanahan’s one-timer. (Nov. 7, 1997)

"Give it to the guy that’s moving!"

- Mickey analyzing a replay. (Oct. 23, 1997)

"He’s got to move that puck quickly!  He lolligagged and now he’s in trouble!"

- Mickey critiquing the play of a Mighty Duck defenseman. (Oct. 23, 1997)

"Vancouver is really discombooberated in their own end."

- Mickey observing Vancouver’s play as Detroit keeps the puck in the offensive end. (Oct. 26, 1997)

"Kozlov saw an opening, darted right through it, and the Sharks were forced to put a bite on him."

- Mickey explaining a hooking penalty by Doug Bodgers on Slava Kozlov. (Oct. 29, 1997)

"You never know which way he’s going!  A lot of times he never moves his feet and guys are swimming on the old pond thinking, "Where’d he go?""

- Mickey espousing Slava Kozlov’s moves in the offensive zone. (Nov. 2, 1997)

"Murphy’s so darn smart!  Yes, he doesn’t have the legs that Joe Sacco has, but he’s got the brain that Sacco doesn’t have!"

- Mickey comparing the relative strengths of both players after Larry Murphy poked the puck away from Sacco. (Nov. 2, 1997)

Hackin' and Whackin' Down There

Hockey is not a game for wimps! Mickey talks about what goes on down in the trenches, the banging, the bumping, the extracurriculars, the ones people got away with!

"May not be so rare with the score four nothing!"

- Mickey reappraising Kenny Daniels' statement about a "rare shift by Joey Kocur."  (May 19, 1998)

"Maybe Chase drilled Draper but then you saw the silver of Kocur's badge!"

- Mickey recounting Joey Kocur's reaction to liberties taken by Kelly Chase.  (May 19, 1998)

"Shannon was running around so he said it's time to bring out the Equalizer!"

- Mickey justifying a Bob Rouse high-stick on Darrin Shannon.  (Mar. 29, 1998)

"Ha, ha, ha, ha! Here comes that jackhammer! BOOM! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Excuse me for laughing!"

- Mickey laughing about Joey Kocur's punch on Scott Barnaby which knocked his helmet off.  (Mar. 29, 1998)

"This is no place for a nervous person!"

- Mickey sets the tone for a close, hard-hitting game.  (All the time)

"Ah! He tried to make Trnka a soprano!"

- Mickey singing about Kirk Maltby's stick between Pavel Trnka's legs.  (Mar. 26, 1998)

"He hit solid!  Didn't bounce!"

- Mickey breaks down Darren McCarty's damaging hit on future Red Wing Jamie Macoun.  (Mar. 18, 1998)

"Gulobovsky will learn you can't cut to the middle looking down at the puck or he'll get his bell rung! LaChance took an opportunity to say, "Welcome to the league!""

- Mickey mentoring Jan Gulobovsky after he gets creamed at the blue line by Scott LaChance.  (Jan. 12, 1998)

"Kris King is looking outside at Carlton Street after that hit by Maltby!"

- Mickey diagnosing the spacey look on Kris King's face after a hard check by Kirk Maltby.  (Dec. 27, 1997)

"Kocur's saying, "If you don't get that stick down, I'm going to nail you into the ice, little boy!"

- Mickey explaining why Joey Kocur was cross-checking Mike Sullivan over against the boards.  (Dec. 27, 1997)

"Didn't take him long to pick up the English language!"

- Mickey reacting to Dmitri Yushkevich's off-mike cursing of the ref.  (Dec. 26, 1997)

"You don't want to be admiring your pass when you're playing against these guys or you'll end up looking up at the clock!"

- Mickey cautioning Brent Gilcrist who narrowly missed a booming check from Billy Guerin.  (Dec. 19, 1997)

"Oh, my!  That's the call!?!?  He took a swipe at him and missed him!"

- Mickey incredulous at the reffing.  (Dec. 17, 1997)

"The lumber is flying! Fifteen cross checks! That's a record by Marchment! He'd better get a new one! He wore that stick out!"

- Mickey accounting for all the nasty stick work in front of the Edmonton goal.  (Dec. 12, 1997)

"Kovalenko got his bell rung by Maltby!"

- Mickey sounding approval of a hit by Kirk Maltby.  (Dec. 5, 1997)

"Maltby belts Bannister and rattled his fillings!"

- Mickey mouthing a euphamism for checking into the boards.  (Dec. 5, 1997)

""If you don't get out of the way, I'll hit you with it!" says Shanahan, and then he drills it right into him!"

- Mickey reaching into Brendan Shanahan's mind to describe his thought process as he bangs Peter Popovic with a slapshot.  (Nov. 22, 1997)

"Deadmarsh got a whack in the jaw! No teeth missing on that one!"

- Mickey evaluates the effect of a Red Wings high stick. (Nov. 11, 1997)

"He gets crushed by his own defenseman! Ha, ha!"

- Mickey sympathizing about Rick Tabaracci’s run-in with his teammate. (Nov. 9, 1997)

"Well, it’s a long way from his heart."

- Mickey commenting on Jaime Pushor’s stick whacking the St. Louis Blues’ Joe Murphy in the face. (Oct. 21, 1997)

"He’ll go in for repairs."

- Mickey embellishing on Aaron Ward’s exit to the dressing room to get stitches after a high stick. (Nov. 5, 1997)

"Watch ‘er right there, he lays the Louisville on him!"

- Mickey describing a cross-check or a slash on a replay. (No date)

"Here comes the chop coming back! Oh, this time he’s already boiled over the side of the pot!"

- Mickey commenting about Yzerman’s slash on Josef Stumpel. (Oct. 31, 1997)

"Mironov’s got ten minutes for chin music!"

- Mickey restating Dmitri Mironov’s additional misconduct penalty for mouthing off to the ref. (Nov. 2, 1997)

"Easy now, Pierre!"

- Mickey reacting to audible, disparaging comments made by an upset Pierre Page to the ref. (Nov. 2, 1997)

"That's roller derby stuff!"

- Mickey criticizing Glen Murray’s elbow on Aaron Ward. (Oct. 24, 1997)

Fight Night at the Joe!

Stuff that Mickey says because he deplores fighting in hockey so much, just like that other pacifist, Don Cherry!  One of the great things about fight nights is you can usually get five or six classic quotes out of Mickey.

"That's what they came for!"

- Mickey verbalizing the desires of 19,000 fans at the Joe as Chris Osgood and Patrick Roy square off at the blue line.  (Apr. 1, 1998)

"Patrick Roy is 0 for 2 in this building!"

- Mickey summarizing Patrick Roy lifetime fight record against the Red Wings after Roy was taken down by Chris Osgood.  (Apr. 1, 1998)

"The two linesman just spoiled it for sixteen thousand people!"

- Mickey expressing his disgust at the two linesman jumping in between Darren McCarty and Murray Baron.  (Mar. 2, 1998)

"Just when King and Domi were coming out for one more kick at the cat!"

- Mickey lamenting the stoppage of play as Toronto's two bruisers hit the ice looking for trouble.  (Dec. 26, 1997)

"Look at Kocur!  He don't care!  That jackhammer works on any kind of cement!"

- Mickey admiring Joey Kocur's gumption, as he challenges Krzysztof Oliwa, who rings in at 6'5", 235 pounds.  (Dec. 19, 1997)

"Pederson said, "Let's go!" and Lapointe said, "Anytime!"  Come on, Danny!  Let 'em go!  One more would be cool on a Friday night!  Let 'em go!  Aw, come on, guys!  Now that's really heavyweight division!  Hoo, hoo!  To be discussed later!"

- Mickey expresses his desire that the linesmen let the vignette between Martin Lapointe and Denis Pederson be played out.  (Dec. 19, 1997)

"They got 'em rockin' at the Joe!"

- Mickey getting excited about all the excitement on the ice. (Dec. 19, 1997)

"There was no one going to the pop stand!"

- Mickey assessing crowd interest in the fights. (Dec. 19, 1997)

"Ha, ha, ha! Tough way to make a living!"

- Mickey commenting on the roles of Darren McCarty and Lyle Odelein after a couple of hard punches. (Dec. 19, 1997)

"With these two, we're just one highstick away from a donnybrook!"

- Mickey forecasting the tone of the Red Wings-Avalanche game.  (Dec. 17, 1997)

"They're goin' at it right after the goal! Way to go, guys!"

- Mickey appreciating the fisticuffs displayed by Jamie Pushor and Steve Staios after the Wings scored a goal. (Dec. 9, 1997)

"Here we go!  Brashears and McCarty!.... Aw, the linesman are in there!  Let 'em go!"

- Mickey opining about the proper role of on-ice officials when fisticuffs begin to break out.  (Dec. 2, 1997)

"Ha, ha, ha! What a way to start!"

- Mickey expressing disgust at Darren McCarty and Claude "The Fraud" Lemieux for dropping the gloves on the opening face-off. (Nov. 11, 1997)

"Let’s have a little waltz!"

- Mickey putting words in Darren McCarty’s mouth as he is challenged by Jerome Iginla. (Nov. 9, 1997)

"They’re upset that they didn’t have a good go!"

- Mickey empathizing with the Greensboro crowd after the linesman pre-empted a fight between Darren McCarty and Keith Primeau. (Nov. 5, 1997)

"Kocur’s coming over and he’ll say "One more like that and you’ll deal with me, Mr. Man!" End of story!"

- Mickey speaking for Joey Kocur as he objects to an elbow thrown by Steve Stales on Brent Gilchrist. (Oct. 26, 1997)

"Look out! Janssens and McCarty!"

- Mickey announcing tonight’s card. (Nov. 2, 1997)

What?

I'm sorry, Mickey! I know live TV is tough.  I certainly wouldn't want to do it.  Sometimes the brain and the mouth are out of synch but I'm sure there's a coherent thought trying to get out in some of these quotes.  Or maybe Mick's just filling up air time.

"It was Diane Sawyer. She called me a caveman!"  

- Mickey responding to prodding from Drew and Mike on the WRIF Morning Show.  (Unknown)

"He has more padding than a monkey on a high wire!"

- Mickey trying to draw an analogy (which escapes me to this day) between the padding on a goalie and a circus animal.  See above for appropriate use of "monkey on a high wire". (Dec 6, 1997)

"Unlike last night, Detroit was able to get it back going!"

- Mickey unable to get it back (or get it going) in his commentary about how the Wings played in the last half of the first period. (Nov. 16, 1997)

"Ping! Off the goal post, fer sure! And it’s a happy sound, usually, for a goaltender, unless it’s on the inside of the post, and then it’s going in the net!"

- Mickey rambling about McCarty’s shot on Stephane Fiset. (Oct. 31, 1997)

"You know the old saying – If you don’t worry about something you don’t control, so you might as well get used to it! We used to say in our day – Hockey is very hurry up and wait! Hurry up! You stand! You do a lot of standing around! But, hey, if you want to be a pro athlete....Plus, today – today you get paid pretty good dough to stand around!"

- Mickey elaborating after the Wings go up 5-1 on the L.A. Kings. (Oct. 31, 1997)

Utterances

Stuff that Mickey utters during play.

"Bingo, bango!"

- Mickey diagraming a pass. Usually followed by "It's in the net!"  (Every broadcast)

"Holy Mackeral!"

- Mickey expressing surprise.  (Every broadcast)

"Ei-yi-yi!"

- Mickey expressing exasperation.  (Every broadcast)

"Oooh, baby!"

- Mickey reacting with approval to a wrist shot by "Dougie" Brown. (Oct. 24, 1997)

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