It’s a flaw in my character, I
suppose, but irrepressibly chipper
people depress me.
In fact, the last time I heard a
motivational consultant speak, I
had trouble getting out of bed the
next morning. The despair was so
overwhelming, I eventually concluded there was only one remedy--
I pulled the covers over my head and
slept ’til noon.
So I couldn’t help but groan last
week when I read that the U.S.
Forest Service recently paid
$500,000 to stage a motivational
conference for 770 employees in its
Pacific Southwest Region.
According to The Washington
Times, the three-day conference
focused on a technique called “Real
Time Strategic Change” and was
designed to teach forestry workers
to “proactively use and create
change.”
Among other things, employees
were asked to explore nuggets of
wisdom such as, “Integrating
diverse perspectives via dialogue
leads to common understanding.”
I’m not certain, but I think what
they’re trying to say is that it’s
smart to have a lot of different
people talk over things. I reckon I’m
for that.
Employees were told, “You can
influence only as far as you can see.
The more people know about the
‘big picture’ and how things connect, the more impact they will have
in making needed changes.”
I think this, roughly translated,
means, “Some people can’t see the
forest for the trees. If you’re one of
them, be sure to ask for a map.”
In addition, employees were
informed that “Everyone’s truth is
truth” and “Alternative realities are
OK.”
I especially appreciated that last
bit of advice. When people around
me begin integrating diverse perspectives via dialogue, I often have
this nagging doubt that I’m stuck in
some alternative reality. It’s good to
hear there’s nothing wrong with
me.
Of course, there are plenty of
grouches on Capitol Hill who are
saying this conference was (insert
sound of chain saw here) a waste of
hard-working American taxpayers'
money.
Among those who are upset is
Congressman Wally Herger, a
Republican who represents a district in California that include 18
national forests.
He says it’s mind-boggling that an
agency would spend a half-million
dollars on frippery like this while
it’s laying off employees and battling budget cuts in Congress.
“If our forests were being managed well,” says Rep. Herger, “it
might not be such a big deal, but
they're not. We have forests that are
basically tinderboxes.”
Unfortunately, there’s not much
we taxpayers can do to recover this
money. It’s sawdust now.
The bad news is there are thousands of employees of the Forest
Service who might someday be
subjected to conferences like these.
Heck, there are 3,730 more employees in the Pacific Southwest region
alone.
Let’s hope they’re already feeling
peppy.
Just in case they’re not, I'd like to
offer an alternative reality for
Forest Service officials to consider.
By my calculation, this conference cost $649.35 per person.
How about we ditch the consultants, give each employee a
check for that amount and see if that
motivates anyone?
I know that would help me get out
of bed in the morning.
