By Saren
::The Beatles are in Ringo’s mansion having some beers and having a grand drunken time.::
Zak- Dad? What’s going on? What’s all the noise and who are these people? ::Gances over at Ringo’s drunken band mates on the couch::
George and John- ::Clank beer bottles together and shout:: “Hey!”
Paul- ::Trips over coffee table and falls flat on his face.::
Ringo- ::Speaking in slurred and drunken speech:: Hey! There’s daddy’s little princess!
Zak- I’m a boy!
Ringo- Don’t you take that tone with me, I’m your father! Now, why don’t you be a good little girl and go down to the Quick-E-Mart and get daddy some more beer, eh? ::Hands Zak a twenty::
Zak- But, Dad, it’s almost 2 in the morning, and I’m too young to buy beer, and…
Ringo- Quit ‘yer whining. You call yourself a boy? Off with you!
Zak- ::Walks out the door and slams it behind him and is walking down the dark and ominous street alone, muttering to himself:: Lousy traumatic childhood. I wish I were one of those kids who don’t even know their dad’s. That must be cool…
::Meanwhile, our dear friends, The Who, are just leaving the pub and walking to where the van is parked::
Pete- Well, who’s going to drive?
Keith- I will!
Pete- ::Looks at Keith and thinks for a moment and then asks again:: Anyone else?
Roger- Oh bullocks, I’ll do it.
John- Oh no.
Roger- ::Climbs into the driver’s seat::
Pete and Keith- SHOTGUN!
Keith- No! I called it first!
Pete- No you didn’t
John- ::Gets into passenger’s seat::
Keith- Hey!
Pete- Aw… ::Gets in back with Keith::
::A moment later they’re sailing down the street::
Pete- Hey look, an orphan child!
Keith- Let’s capture it!
::Van pulls over along side the kid::
Zak- ::Looks up:: Huh?
Pete- Hey, kid! What are you doing out so late? Shouldn’t you be in bed?
::Everyone gets out of the van::
Zak- I’m supposed to get beer for my dad.
Pete- We know where there’s lots of beer! Want to come with us?
Zak- No.
Keith- We’ve got sticks. Pointy ones…
Zak- ::Turns around and sees John::
John- ::Gives the kid an angry glare and threatens him with a relatively sharp stick::
Zak- ::Screams::
Roger- ::Grabs Zak and shoves him in the back of the van::
::A while later at The Who’s mansion (which is far better than Ringo’s mansion, or any of the Beatle’s)::
Pete- We’re here.
Zak- Where?
Roger- Shaddup.
::They enter the mansion through a short doorway on which Pete and John hit their heads::
Pete- Damn! Every time… ::Rubs aching head::
John- ::Mutters curses under his breath and gives the door the thunder finger::
Roger- So, what do we do with the little brat now?
Keith- Hey, kid, wanna meet our pet piranha?
Zak- Uh…
Keith- Here! ::Pushes Zak into narrow doorway::
Zak- ::Screams::
Keith- Oh, don’t mind him. That’s Mr. Bones. Here’s the piranha! ::Pulls a lever::
Zak- ::Falls through a secret passage in the floor and the sound of water splashing and girly screams of agony is heard::
John- Wuss…
Pete- This kid’s boring.
Roger- Yeah, maybe we should send him home.
Keith- ::Reaches down through the hole in the floor and pulls Zak up:: Alright, you can go home now, kid.
Zak- ::Runs out the door without hesitation::
::A while later, back at Ringo’s mansion::
Zak- ::Runs through door, out of breath and his cloths are wet and torn::
Ringo- What took you so bloody long?! What happened to you? Did you get my beer?
Zak- No, but I…
Ringo- You failed. I have no son, just a wuss…
Zak- ::Cries::
The End