AUTHORS: dru as Angel & Evil Willow as Lindsey (Go worship the goddess that is EW!)
SERIES: Chance Encounters
SEQUEL TO: Chance Encounters Version : Angel-Lindsey
PAIRING : Angel/Lindsey
RATING : NC17 (highly slashy
with plenty of salty goodness!)
DISCLAIMER : We do not own these
characters. We just like putting them in lewd positions!
NOTE: We had so much fun writing
Versions : Angel-Lindsey & Angel-Faith & Spike-Xander, we decided to do
sequels for them!
DEDICATION: Thank you SOOOOO
much to Vicky and all the people who loved the first part of our fun!
=====================================================================
THE
DINER
I
pull away and start walking. He stays close, which is probably a good thing.
Lindsey doesn't need to visit the ground again any time soon. He waits until I'm
in the passenger seat before he goes around to the driver side and gets in.
He starts the car and I lean back against the seat,
trying to calm my breathing. I *am* hungry, I don't think I ate dinner now that
I think about it. Which is a brilliant move, when you're planning on visiting a
vampire later. I'm such an idiot.
I look over at him every now and then and see how
*really* pale he is. "Don't lie to me." I say. "Are you
okay?" I'm really concerned now cause this vamp crap can get really
sickening and *very* dangerous. I'm worried. I mean, if it was bad enough for
Cordy to get a vision about...
"I will be," I reply, looking over at him.
"I just…" I sigh. "I didn't eat dinner. Don't say it, that *was*
stupid. I'll be the first to admit that. But I was working on a case until just
an hour ago and… well… I forgot about food when I got home. I had…" I look
out the window as we drive. "… something else on my mind."
I
look over at him and he refuses to look at me. That's fine. Maybe it's better
that I *don't* look at him right now. That would lead to naked Lindsey
thoughts, and as unpleasant as they are... I need to actually concentrate on
the road right now.
"So... what do you want?" I never knew my voice
could squeak. I cough and clear my throat. "I mean... to eat... ya know,
for dinner?"
I
shrug, still looking out the window. Then it occurs to me he may not have seen
the shrug, since I'd hope he's watching the road. "I'm easy." Shit.
"I mean.... I'm not picky..." *Damn* it, Lindsey. "I'll eat any..."
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm glad I'm looking the opposite
direction because I know I'm blushing. "That diner's fine." I finally
find a way to answer his question that doesn't sound like either a come-on or
an insult. Shit, I'm SO fucking smooth tonight.
As we stop at the red light, I turn to him and smile
seductively while sliding my hand over the seat, over his thigh and into his
lap. I gently stroke his cock and lean in close to him, "I'm *hoping*
you're easy."
"Unngh." Hey. Haven't heard *that* one in a
while. Fuck me, I'm so screwed tonight. And I'm so glad that little thought
didn't pop out of my mouth too.
I smile as I lean in even closer to him and nibble on his
ear before whispering, "You're not screwed *yet*, but... you could
be."
I look at him in complete shock. I didn't say that out
loud. Did I? He just grins at me but then starts driving again as the light
changes to green.
My
stomach growls and I sigh. As much as I'd like to be fucking at the moment, I
do need to eat. And I think Angel wants me to talk about what the hell I'm
doing with the vampire thing. I can explain it, but I don't know how much I'll
be telling *him*.
We
pull up at the diner and I manage to get out on my own and walk inside. He
stays really really close behind me, even though he's not touching me. We find
a booth and sit.
I
can't meet his eyes because I'm sure this is where the lecture starts. Luckily,
I'm distracted by the waitress. "What'll it be, Hon?" she asks. She's
a chubby middle-aged blonde lady; she looks like someone's mother. Hell, she
looks like *my* mother. I smile at the thought.
"Burger.
Fries. Coke." I answer.
"You, Sir?" She turns to Angel.
Lindsey's
ass on a plate on this table with some butter cream on the side.
That's
the first thing that comes to mind. However, I don't see that in the menu. And
I doubt it's one of the specials. "Coffee. Black. And... a bagel. Toasted.
Cream cheese." I mean, I don't normally eat food, but... "*And* some
fruit." I say.
"Cocktail
okay?" She asks me.
I smile and rub my foot against Lindsey's. "*Cock*
tail would be just fine, thanks." I say and she walks away.
Shit.
Angel's playing *footsie* with me? I just stare at him in shock. Hell, I've
been doing that a lot tonight. Then I look at the table, wishing I had
something to distract myself with. Food.
Angel.
Sex.
NO!
Food.
The
waitress brings over my coke and I sigh with relief. I grab it and drink like
I'm dying of thirst. I look up at Angel and he just chuckles.
Then
he rubs his foot up the inside of my leg and I spit out my Coke. I got a little
on him. He's wearing a dark blue shirt and I bet it's silk. Oops. "Shit,
Angel," I say. "Sorry."
It occurs to me that I had a little problem with drinking
properly the last time we met, too.
I
smile and pull my leg away from him. I'm obviously making him uncomfortable and
I swore I wouldn't do that. I want to help him. Not drive him to drink. Or
spit, as the case may be.
"No
sweat, granted vodka evaporates quicker, but... I've got a million shirts like
it at home."
She
brings me my coffee and then we spend a good five minutes just staring at each
other. But this is getting us any closer to fucking each other's brains out...
so... I reach across the table and pull his hand towards me. Then, I push the
sleeve up and trace the bite marks there before pulling my hand away. "Are
you gonna tell me? Or do I have to drag it out of you?"
"I'll
tell you," I say, looking away. I look down at the scars on my arm. I hate
them. But I need what causes them. How do I explain that? I sigh. Surely I can
explain it to a *vampire*. But Angel's not a typical vampire. So maybe not...
But I'll try.
"It
started just because of a stupid bet," I say still looking at the table
because I can't see any of the disgust, disappointment or judgment I know will
be in those eyes. I won't be able to finish the story that way.
"No.
Strike that. It wouldn't have happened if Michael... he was a client... hadn't
noticed how edgy I was. And I was. Like, getting ready to climb the walls, for
an entire month. Something felt off. I couldn't figure out what it was.
"I
tried alcohol, I tried..." I shrug. "sex. Didn't work. Anyway, like I
said, Michael was a client. He was a drug dealer and he had a weird little set
of ... habits. One of which was going to those vampire clubs and getting
bitten. I went out with him one night, after I got him acquitted of something -
I don't remember what now.
"That
doesn't matter. I knew he was a little different, but I didn't know how much
until he took me to this club. Then I found out what one of his addictions was,
other than drugs.
"He
said it was a high unlike anything else. I, um, remembered that. From when
we..."I take a deep breath and continue. "I didn't think I was
interested at first, but after a few drinks, he dared me. I was drunk, I took
the dare.
"He
was right. It was... unbelievable. That night, I slept. I hadn't slept soundly
until then. It was like *that* was what I'd needed. So I kept doing it. I
*need* it."
I
stop for a moment as the waitress brings us our food. Then when she's gone, I
say, "That's really all there is to the story."
Liar.
There's more. It's not about the bite, it's about the vampire you fantasize
about. It's the closest you can get to him and *that* is what you need.
He doesn't need to know that, though. What good would
*that* do? Make him feel guilty? Surprisingly, I don't want to do that. And
telling him that would make it clear that I'm not cool with the one-night stand
being all there is to us. And he can't ever know that.
I
look back down at his arm. I thought the only scars he had from me were one in
the neck and one around his wrist. But all of them are from me. I started
this... I mean, I'd heard of this sort of thing happening, but I thought...
well, Buffy didn't do this after I bit her. I guess I thought I was immune.
Now,
not only do I *want* to help, I *have* to help, because I started this.
Still,
I don't know where to start. So I'm happy when the waitress brings the fruit. I
slide the bowl over to him. "Eat this." I say, "It's good for
you."
I don't know what else to do. He takes the bowl and
starts to eat it. "Why?" I finally ask him.
Why? Now there's a really loaded question that I'm not
answering without some clarification of *what* 'why' he might be asking.
"Why, what, Angel?"
"Why do you do it? What does it do for you? Why do
you *need* it?"
Fuck.
That's what I was afraid he meant. I'm staring at this fruit like it's really
interesting, but it's not. I just feel like if I look at him, he'll get the
answers to all his questions. And I'm not ready for him to know that much about
me yet.
"It feels good," I answer quietly. Answers all
the questions, but not completely. Just enough, maybe, for him to think that it
*is* the answer?
I
watch the pure terror flood his eyes and fill his blood as he realizes he might
actually have to tell me something important. Then he answers me. It feels
good. Crap answer. Bullshit and I don't believe it.
"Don't insult m-" I start, but then stop.
Attacking him isn't gonna help him when he clearly knows what he's been doing
is wrong and dangerous. "Wanna know something about me?" I ask him.
"Don't
insult..." Ok, this is where I get lectured. Great. Hey, where'd the
lecture go? I look back up at him just as he says, "Wanna know something
about me?"
Um....
I shrug. Sure. Why not? Even though I have *no* clue
what's going to come out of his mouth next. But then again, when did I ever
know that?
"I'll take that as a yes?" I ask and he nods.
"Every day I come home, I hope that there'll be a message from you on my
machine."
Ok of
all the possible things to hear out of those -really kissable - off topic,
Linds... out of those lips, that wasn't one of those things I'd thought I'd
ever hear. Damn, I even babble in my head now, when it comes to Angel. I
suppose that's slightly better than babbling out loud in front of him. Oh god.
I'm so screwed.
I'm
thinking closing my mouth would be good, too.
But I don't know what to say to him now. So I think I'll
concentrate on this hamburger. Not that it's that good. It's just that anything
I said, if it was the truth, would come off sounding really pathetic and needy.
Like, 'I've still got your card but it's worn through from reading the damn
note so often.' No. I'll just stay quiet. If I am quiet, I can't embarrass
myself *too* much.
Okaaaay.
I was really hoping I wouldn't be ignored, so it's obviously just speculation
on my part that he might be drawn to vampires because of me. Well, that's
good... I guess. So, I look down and take another sip of my coffee. "So,
why are you in town?" I ask indifferently, or at least I *hope* it was
indifferent.
Finally,
a question I can answer. "The law firm sent me. They want a new office
here in L.A.. I get to do all the monotonous work of finding a building, hiring
new lawyers, and then maybe they'll promote me.
"I figured, it's been almost six years so maybe
Wolfram and Hart have gotten over my disappearance. So far, if they know I'm
back, they don't care. Hopefully it'll stay that way."
"Great." I say. "That's great."
It took me a minute to notice he's more distant now. Oh.
He thought.... I sigh and pull out my wallet. I find his business card and push
it across the table at him. Hopefully I don't need to say anything. Please
understand what I'm trying to tell you.
What the... I pick it up and find it all worn. I can't
believe it... I run my fingers over the edge and look up. "Wanna know
something else?"
I'm
afraid to meet his eyes. Because he knows now, why I didn't call. He is also
probably starting to understand why I'm a vampire addict. And if he *did* at
one point, want us to get together for a really amazing night of really amazing
sex, he can't want that anymore. Because I'm not that same man, that
self-confident jerk that used to know just how to get under his skin.
I'm ... not sure who I am, but I'm far from the Lindsey
McDonald Angel used to know. Hell, I don't even like me most of the time
anymore. But he asked a question. I shrug, staring at my half-eaten food.
"I dream about you."
WHAT?
I look up, expecting to see some sign that he was joking. He's not, though.
Those brown eyes that I've dreamt about, so many times, aren't laughing. He's
completely serious. It almost makes me regret not swallowing my nervousness and
calling him, two weeks ago, when I got
to L.A..
Okay,
hold on a second, Linds. Just because he had dreams about that night, that
still doesn't mean that he wants you *now*. Not like this. And even if he does,
it just means another night of really good sex and then Lindsey's back to the
vampires again.
Shit.
I should have listened to my first instincts years ago and stayed the hell away
from Angel. No. That's not fair. Blaming this on him? You screwed yourself up.
He's just the one you chose to help you do it.
I don't know what to say to him and he's got this
expectant look in his eyes. Before I realize it, I'm touching his scar again. I
pull my hand away. "I um... didn't think you'd really want to hear from
me," I say softly, looking away.
"I've waited every day to hear from you."
"Why?"
I'm still not looking at him. It occurs to me that we're also dealing in the
past tense and there will come a point where it becomes clear he doesn't want
*this* me. He doesn't understand *this* me. He thinks I'm stupid and I have a
death wish.
And maybe he's right on both counts. I dunno. I *do* know
that I still want him. Every fucking day, I think about him. On top of me,
inside me. Making me scream and gasp and .... Yeah. That's what I needed, to be
hard now. Shit.
"Why?"
I squeak. Shit. I think he's the only person that can make me squeak. I laugh a
little and reach across the table and run my thumb over his scar from me.
"Because of this. Because you're inside me."
Oh.
Fuck. I already knew the scar was sensitive, but when he touches it... I swallow
hard and look up into his eyes. And I think we should get out of here before we
totally freak out the nice waitress.
Angel pulls away just as she walks up. "Done?"
she asks. We nod and she takes the plates away. I pull some money out of my
wallet and leave it on the table. Then I look back at him. Because I have no
clue what happens next.
I throw a few bills on the table as well. "Feeling
better?" I ask.
I smile a little. "You don't have to worry about me
passing out anymore," I reply.
I
look at him and smile. "I'm glad. I wouldn't wanna have to carry you all
over the city." Not that I wouldn't... but... "So..." I say, not
wanting to seem too over the top, because... I'm not despera-
Okay.
So I am indeed *very* desperate. I desperately need this.... *him*. And I want
him. Very much so.
"Wanna get out of here?" I ask.
"Cordelia's not at work, so we could go back to the hotel... to
talk."
Talk.
Yeah, because I want to be lectured more. Or maybe not. I'm thinking it's
better if I go back to my pathetic life and he-- "Sure."
Damn. I really wish my mouth would pay attention to my
brain more often. But, it's been said. I know he probably wouldn't take no for
an answer anyway. So we get up and I follow him back outside.
THE
CAR
We
get back in the car and I look over to him before I start it. I want to tell
him how I want him to stay with me tonight. Or how much I've dreamt of him. Or
how much I want him.
"You
know if you go to another club and I find out about it, I'll have to kick your
ass." DAMN IT! I hate my fucking mouth!
I
expected something like that. I'm not going to promise him I'll stop, because
that would be a lie. And even if I wanted to, I probably couldn't. I've tried
to stop before but the need is too strong.
"Oh." Oh? Yeah, brilliant response, Linds.
Shit. I turn towards him and he looks over at me.
"This isn't going how I imagined it would."
I chuckle at that. "Yeah. I know."
"How
did you see it?" I ask him.
"Just
different." He replies while trying to shy away from the question, and me.
"How
did you..." He asks me but I cut him off because I slid closer to him and
have pulled his lips to mine. I don't care if this might not be what he needs
to heal. It's what *I* need and deep inside, I know he needs it too.
I kiss him deeply for a minute before pulling away to let
him breathe. "I kinda saw it like that. And maybe a little like
this..." I whisper as I slide my hand across his thigh to rest above his
cock.
Shit.
How can he get me breathing heavy with just a kiss? Wait, I know the answer to
that question. It's because for seven long months, I've been trying to find
something close to the way he made me feel that night.
I've found really pathetic imitations that get me through
the night sometimes, but nothing close to what he can do to me. And this is
what I need. Well, more than this, of course, but this is a really good start.
"Lindsey,"
I pull my hand away and sit back in the driver's seat, looking forward. I can't
tell him this, not to his face. Not seven months too late. (Almost to the day.)
But he needs to hear it.
And
I need to say it.
"Lindsey,"
I say, "I don't wanna hurt you any worse than I fear I already have. And I
don't want you to feel obligated to do anything with me after how I treated
you."
I
look over at him through the corner of my eye and then look ahead to the
parking lot again. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you in my bed
tonight. I'd be a liar and a coward if I didn't tell you that I've dreamt about
having you in my bed again. And not because we're drunk and horny, but because
we want to experience each other..."
I
don't know if this is gonna make me a fool or not, of course it's too late for
that. So what do I have to lose? "Because we want to... to make
love."
I
can *not* even believe I just said that to him. I'm sure he'll just laugh in my
face. And I'll feel stupid because the only other time I put myself out on the
line like this was with Buffy, and we all know how *that* turned out. And even
then, Buffy was young and immature. Lindsey's a grown man.
And
maybe that's what scares me.
Buffy
didn't know what she wanted. Lindsey does. And I'm scared to death that I won't
be it.
I
turn away completely and look back at the diner. I look anywhere when I don't
have to show him how scared I am that he's gonna laugh in my face. When did I
become such a coward? Or a loser? I've only been obsessing about a
twenty-something mortal for almost seven months to the day, and for years prior
to that. Ever since I met him really, but especially after having known his
body. Especially after having felt him around me and on me and in my blood...
I
need that again. Maybe forever.
But
especially for tonight.
"It's up to you." I'm finally able to whisper.
"I can take you back to your place. OR I can take you back to mine."
Holy
shit. If this is a dream, and I wake up... Please don't let this be a dream.
Angel wants to... I can't even believe I heard that. But I did. I know I didn't
imagine it. Angel wants to make love with me?
Words
I've only imagined and dreamed him saying in the past. But I never thought, in
all my wildest fantasies, that I'd actually hear him say anything like that. We
were just a fuck. A one-night stand. Well, that's what I assumed he felt about
it anyway.
It
wasn't why I had sex with him, though. I always felt an attraction to him, from
the moment I saw him. But I was paid to try to turn him evil, so I did
everything possible to earn my salary. And in the meantime, I tried not to regret
every little thing that got to him and brought him closer to Angelus.
I
was actually glad when he didn't lose his soul to Darla. That's when I realized
I was screwed. Totally and completely falling for him. *That's* why I tried to
beat the hell out of him. Because falling in love wasn't in the plans.
God,
that's why I left town. I couldn't face him knowing that he didn't feel the
same way. But now... I really want to believe him that he wants me. And that
this isn't just a fuck.
I
need him.
Shit, my hands are shaking. I look over at him and I can
see how tense he is. "Angel." My voice is almost a whisper but I know
he hears me. "I ... didn't have sex with you that night just because I was
drunk and horny." This is so fucking hard to say. "It wasn't just a
fuck to me."
My head snaps around. "What?" I ask,
dumbfounded.
"I don't care where you take me, as long as
..." I have to swallow a few times, my mouth is so dry. "… as long as
you stay with me. Even if it's just for the night." I want more than that
but I can't even dare to hope for more.
I
can't even believe this is happening. Suddenly I feel less like a vampire and
more like a thirteen-year-old boy. I'm so nervous. About everything. About what
it'll be like with Lindsey without alcohol giving us an excuse. About what
it'll be like to touch him without the cloud. What it'll be like to run my
tongue over the scars on his arms and up to his neck...
I don't even know what to say. Anything that runs through
my head sounds really fucking stupid. So I just start the car and drive towards
the hotel. I need him in my bed. I need to have his scent linger for days
afterwards.
I
sigh with relief when he starts the car. Even though my hands are still
shaking. I think this was easier last time. I could hide behind the 'being
drunk' excuse, anyway. But this... this is different.
A
part of me is telling me that this is so dangerous. For the obvious reasons
that I still can't help thinking he'll change his mind tomorrow. And that's
likely to send me even further into the vampire addiction.
I can't think about that, though. Because just maybe....
I'll leave it at that. Maybe.
I
pull up in front of the hotel and we both look up at it. As if it spells some kind
of doom or something. At least, it feels like it. Not doom though, but I know
that if we go in there together and actually make love, things will change
forever.
Part
of me wants it to. And part of me is scared.
I pull around to the garage in the back and park. We sit
for a minute before we actually have the courage to look at each other.
"I'm not gonna bite you." I say because it's important to me that he
knows I won't further his addiction.
I try not to look disappointed. Because the fact is that I
kinda hoped he *would* bite me. But it would just sound sick if I told him
that. Right? And we both know I'm not sick. No, of course not.
The rational side of my brain, whatever's left of it,
knows that I *do* need to get over this. The vampire addiction, I mean. Not the
Angel thing. There's no chance of that happening.
So I nod at him, since he
seems to be waiting for me to acknowledge what he said. And it occurs to me now
that it's not just my hands shaking. My whole body's trembling. Fuck. I was kind
of hoping that he wouldn't find out just how much *Angel* matters to me. I mean, hearing me say it is one thing. He
may or may not believe me. But seeing me, well, it's very obvious that I meant
what I said.
I
see the disappointment on his face and I guess I didn't actually think that
after what he said earlier, that he was coming here for the bite. And I suck at
getting my point across. Because the Powers know that I *want* to bite him. I
*want* to taste him on my tongue again and *feel* him in my veins, bringing me
warmth.
"It's
not that I don't want to." I say, "Because I do. It's just...
tonight... it's not about that. It's not about me as a vampire." At least
he seems a little receptive to what I'm saying and not running out of the car.
Not that I would blame him if he did, because I basically accused him of using
me.
"It's about me as a man..." I turn towards him
and move closer to him and touch his cheek. "It's about me as a man
wanting *you*. Not your blood. And not your submission."
I
lean into his hand and let my eyes close for a minute. And I don't want him to
misunderstand why I'm here. I pull away because I'm not sure I can look at him
when I say this. "I didn't get addicted to vampires biting me just because
of the ...well, vampires biting me. I did it because you were gone and it was
something that reminded me of you and..." I'm not saying this right. Any
of it. I'm just making it sound like I *am* here because I wanted him to bite
me. Damn it.
"Fuck. I'm not explaining this very well. When I let
them bite me, I could pretend I was with you again. But it wasn't about the
biting, it was just about trying to find something close to the way you made me
feel." It's still not coming out right. "I don't want you because of
the way you make me feel when you bite me, I want you because of the way you
make me feel. Period."
Oh.
Oh?
I
look over at him and- OH!
Oh
god. It's like everything I ever wanted (in the past seven months, almost to
the day) are actually within my grasp.
"Why don't we go inside? I'll get you some water or
coffee or something. I may even have some juice."
Okay.
I just poured my heart out and I get juice. Huh.
"Um, ok," I reply softly and get out of the
car.
I
get out and walk around the car as he gets out. Before he even gets the door
shut, I've pinned him against the car gently. I lean in slowly and watch him
close his eyes right before I do. When our lips meet this time... I practically
melt.
I slid my hand around his neck and tilt his head where I
like it best as I deepen our kiss. I feel his hands at my sides and I thrust
gently against him before reluctantly pulling away. "How does *that* make
you feel, Lindsey?"
Oh holy fuck.
"You can't tell?" I ask, my voice husky with
desire. "I thought vampires could read emotions."
I smile a little and place a soft kiss on his lips.
"But I'm not a vampire tonight, remember?" I whisper in his ear.
Ok. Fine. I just don't know how to put it into words.
"You make me feel ..." I swallow hard. He looks into my eyes and it's
just a hell of a whole lot harder to say anything now.
I
smile, "That's why I offered juice." I say as I take his hand and
pull him towards the door. I feel almost giddy. Almost like a teen bringing
home his first crush. I certainly do *not* feel like an over two hundred year
old vampire. And I kinda like it.
We get inside and I shed my duster. "Get
comfortable." I say as I go the fridge. "Feel free to go in and sit
on the couch." I say, hoping he'll go so I can down a bag of blood before
we go upstairs.
BACK TO THE HOME OF CHANCE ENCOUNTERS