-Once-
AUTHORS : dru & Evil Willow (Go worship the goddess that is EW!)
SERIES: Beauty & the Beast
PAIRINGS : Cordelia/Spike
RATING : NC17 (highly smutty with plenty of delicious yums!)
WARNING: a little violence,
bloodplay and death- as well mild female/female & spike/female
DISCLAIMER : We do not own these
characters.
NOTE : Takes place after season
three of Buffy, but before season four.
NOTE: POOR CORDY HAS SOME
ROUGH SPOTS IN THESE TWO PARTS! (attempted rape)
=====================================================================
RESCUING
THE DAMSEL : ONCE
I can
smell then sun as it dips below the horizon. I guess I was tired- of course she
*did* take some blood... I roll over and-
Where is
she?
"Cordelia?"
I ask and sit up. "Cordelia?"
The
nightgown... I grab it from the foot of the bed. "CORDELIA?!"
I stand
up. This is *not* funny. "Cordelia, Luv? Whe-"
NO!
I grab
the jewelry from the dresser. "NOOOOOOOOOO! ANNE! JOHN!!"
I grab
some jeans. There's no fuckin' *WAY* she's leaving *ME*!
He
didn't even acknowledge that he heard me. Or maybe he really didn't. Shit.
Shouldn't I...
No.
I'm not going to call him! He made it clear he couldn't accept the only thing I
could give him. *He* did this.
But
he didn't. God, I was stupid enough to start to fall-- Just start, though. I
left at the right time. I can put the pieces back together and go back to ...
Well,
not this. This rat-infested hell of an apartment? I couldn't go back to this.
That's why I'm packing up the few clothes and other things I own, in my only
suitcase. Well, that, and I don't want to risk Spike finding me and confronting
me. I have the strangest feeling he's not going to just *let* me leave him.
Even if he doesn't love me, he still has this possessive thing going.
I
just made the mistake of thinking it *could* have been love. And god, how
stupid am I? He made it *quite* clear that he won't love again. And I just
didn't listen at the time, I thought... I could change him, I guess. Like I
said, stupid, stupid, stupid.
"Find.
Her." I snarl at them. Fifteen of the clan's minions.
I *do*
inspire, don't I?
I growl
and head off down the street. "No *WAY* I'm *not* showing up to this thing
with her on my arm. Forever or not, she's my mate now. She has obligations, not
just to me, but also to appear before the court.
DAMN IT!
"Spi-
Master Spike?"
"WHAT?!"
I growl at John.
"If
we... *find* her- what should we-"
"CALL
me, you NINNY!" I punch him and he scampers off down the street. We've
checked those skanky apartments and she cleared out of there a couple hours
ago. I could smell it.
That's
right, Luv. You can't hide from me- I'm your-- *mate*.
I guess I
never really did *explain* that concept very well. Did I?
I guess
there's a *lot* of stuff I forget to mention, chose *not* to mention...
especially about *tonight*.
I tighten
my grip on the bag. It's the dress she'd picked to wear tonight- along with the
jewelry and heals. I'll find her, get her *in* this... and... I guess I should
first explain what tonight *is* in the first place...
WHERE IN
BLEEDIN' HELL IS SHE?!
"800
a month."
Oh my
god, I thought I *was* in hell. But this... this place... the super doesn't
even flinch when a rat walks over his foot. God. "First and last month's
up front?" I ask. Beggars can't be choosers, I guess. And it's not like
I'll be here all that long anyway. This check will bounce and then I'll be
evicted.
He
takes the check and leaves me to my new... home. I sit down on my suitcase and
wonder if maybe I really *should* go *home.* Mom and dad would take me back, if
I'd just get a 'real job.' And maybe I should.
Stop
dreaming. That only gets me in trou-- "Well, well, well. Cordelia, isn't
it?"
I
turn around and back up. "How'd you get in? It's..."
"Apartments
are funny things," Penn shrugs. "There must have been a vampire who
lived here at some point. And that just screws with the whole invitation
concept."
"How
- why - what are you doing here?" I ask. Stake. Stake! Where the hell is
something to use as a stake?
"Spike's
got the whole clan looking for you, dear," he smiles. He's so creepy when
he smiles. "I'm just doing my part."
"Oh,
I bet you are," I say. I turn and run for the bedroom but he grabs me and
pins me against the wall. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I scream, struggling
against him. "Spike will--"
"Spike
won't," he interrupts with that grin again. "You really got him mad,
Cordelia. So... I don't think he'll care what happens here, as long as I return
you to him afterward." He squeezes one of my breasts and I knee him in the
groin. He loosens his grip just enough, and I shove him away, trying to run for
the bedroom again.
"NO!"
I scream when he grabs my ankle, tripping me. "Please..." He pins me
to the floor and god, I can't believe this is happening. He thrusts his hips
against me and I can feel how hard he is. He's going to rape me, oh god.
"Just
kill me," I beg.
"You'd
rather die than go back to him?" he asks, scraping his fangs along my
throat.
I
shudder and nod. "I can't... he doesn't - won't ever - love me," I
whisper.
"I
think we found her- someone saw her heading toward the apartments over
there," he says as he points.
Well,
fuck! That's where I found Penn residing.
FUCK!
I growl
and push Penn's apartment button.
No
answer.
And I
swear- I heard screaming. Maybe it was in my head... screaming and this intense
fear.
"CORDELIA!"
I scream- as if she could hear me from out here. Damn it!
"CORDELIA!"
Oh
god. "SPI-" Penn cuts off the rest of my scream with his hand. I bite
his hand, and he growls and slaps me hard.
"SPIKE
HELP!" I manage, before he clamps his hand down on my mouth again.
I *did*
hear her! I grab one of the minions and throw him through the main entrance. I
run upstairs. Come on- talk to me, Luv.
I try to
concentrate on the mating- shared blood- *our* blood.
Third
floor. I kick the door in and find him on top of her, pinning her down, his
hand over her mouth.
I've
never seen such *red* as when I look at him.
I
struggle again and I can't believe he found me but did he *hear* me? Penn
growls and says, "Bite me again and I'll hurt you *so* much worse."
And I know he means it, so I don't.
I
guess I don't really want to die all that much.
I
hear a commotion downstairs. Oh please, let Spike find me before Penn rapes me.
Penn doesn't seem to notice, or maybe he just doesn't care. He rips my shirt
open and then pulls my skirt up. And I fight him, as hard as I can, but he's so
much--
We
both freeze when the door goes flying open. Before I know what's happened, Penn
is flying across the room and Spike is on top of him, punching him and
growling.
"FUCKING
BASTARD!" I scream and hit again. "THINK I WOULDN'T FIND YOU?! COME
FOR YOU?! Told you to stay away!"
He spits
blood out between blows and manages to say, "She wanted to *die*- rather
than be with-" I grab his head and slam it backwards into the floor.
"HOW
DARE YOU TOUCH MY MATE!!" I snarl.
I've
never seen Spike *so* furious, and I really hope I never see it directed at me.
I scoot away from the fight and try to wrap my torn shirt around me. I'm
shaking, but it's just shock. He didn't hurt me *too* much, I was so glad to
see Spike.
I
think I would have been, even if it hadn't been for the purpose of saving me.
"What
the hell does one WHORE matter, William?! She's just a cunt to stick it in! Why
do you CARE?!" He spits at me.
I throw
his head into the ground again. "BECAUSE I BLOODY LOVE HER!" I scream.
Ohgod.
Everything
goes *really* quiet. He's staring at Penn; I'm staring at him...
It's
so quiet. I guess I'm not the only one in shock. And Penn... well, he's
unconscious and that's definitely good. All I hear are two things. Spike's last
words, and Penn's lie about why I wanted to die. And I can't let Spike think
*that's* why I left. Maybe he didn't mean what he just said, heat of the moment
and everything. But he just saved me from being raped and murdered. So the
least I can give him is a reason for why I put us in the situation where he
*had* to do that.
Bloody
hell. Is that... do I... ohgod.
Okay-
he's... out. I throw his head down and I've got blood all over me. I stand up
and turn to the minions, "Get that filth out of here." They nod and
carry him out.
Ohgod. I
can't *look* at her after- god. Do I?
"Spike...
thank you." He's staring at the wall now. "I... I wish you had been
awake when I said goodbye... This - maybe I should have been brave enough to
say it when I *knew* you were," I say. "I just thought... " God,
this is hard.
She's
still here. Right. I turn around and offer her a hand. "Are you
okay?"
God,
he should hate me. Instead, he's worried... I take his hand and let him help me
up, and I feel like I just want to cry for days, but I hold it back. "I
will be," I nod.
He
doesn't pull his hand away and I don't let go of it. "Spike, what Penn
said...." Just say it, Cordelia. After what he did for you, no matter what
his motives, he deserves the truth. "I didn't want to die rather than be
with you. I wanted to die because I... I was starting to fall in love with
someone who I thought didn't love me. Wouldn't ever. I ... couldn't do that
again," I finish in a whisper and look down at the floor.
And
this would be the perfect opportunity for him to get back at me, now. If he
didn't mean it earlier, then I just gave him the ammunition to hurt me the way
I was so afraid he would in the first place.
I just
have to get out of here.
I don't
care- I'll just leave her some money and she'll be fine. Maybe one day, we'll
see each oth-
What did
she say?
"Starting
to?"
I
swallow hard and nod. I look up at him, and ... is that hope in his eyes.
"I... starting to... already have... somewhere in between? I honestly
don't know. I just... I ran away because it was strong enough to really scare
me."
Oh.
She- and
I- we-
But
still-
Forever.
She
doesn't want it. And I do.
But I
guess for now- 'starting to' is more that *I've* ever had.
"Sure
you're all right, Ducks? He didn't..." I swear- I'll kill him. Again and
again if he-
I let
out the breath I was holding, when I realize he's not going to get back at me.
And I try to think about what he just asked me.
Oh.
Penn. I start shaking again, when it really *hits* me, what just happened. I
think I had so much adrenaline pumping earlier, that it just didn't feel
*real.* "No, he .. he didn't," I manage. And shit, why am I crying?
I'm okay, it didn't happen.
"Shhh,"
I say and pull her into my arms. I hold her tightly and start purring- maybe
it'll help calm her. "It's okay- he won't hurt you again, Luv." I
kiss her forehead and just- *hold* her.
I
melt into his arms and let him make me feel safe again. I *do* feel safe in his
arms. I guess that should have been my first hint that I was feeling more than
just lust.
"I
want... Can I... do you still want me to come back with you?" I ask.
"Of
course," I reply. "Always."
"Always,"
I nod. Oh. Shit. But I'm not going to take it back, because it wasn't exactly a
lie. That doesn't mean I'm ready for forever... I just... I'm not as against it
as I was.
"Spike?"
Anne pops her head around the doorway. "We-"
"Yeah-
I know," I tell her and she leaves. "Are you up for that party, Luv?
If you're not- I understand. You should probably rest."
*Am*
I up for it? I don't know. "I... " I look up at him. "If you
need to go... I'll go with you." I just don't want to be alone now. Even
if *he* trusts the servants, I don't. I can't, after what Penn did to me. I
don't know if I trust anyone right now, other than Spike.
I hold
her waist as we walk down the stairs and out the broken door. I instruct the
driver to go back to the hotel.
"It's
more of a 'we' thing than a 'me' thing, Luv. Tonight- it's..." Shit. I
want so badly to just- kiss her.
But after
tonight with Penn... and then thinking about how sore she was this morning-
kisses would lead to other bad thoughts and she doesn't need that right now. I
guess I'll just jack off in the bathroom until she comes to *me*.
And to be
honest, I'm quite curious as to how she would seduce me...
Okay- bad
thoughts again.
"I
never got to explain about tonigh-" she's not gonna like this. "Ya
know what? Never mind. We can watch some movies or something."
"Don't,"
I say, turning to him. "Just tell me. Please... I'm too tired for another
argument. And if this is important to you, then, it's important to me. And as
long as... " I look away because I'm still not totally comfortable with
him knowing how I feel... but... "As long as you promise not to leave my
side... I'll handle it."
FUCK! I
want to kiss those gorgeous lips...
Okay. I'm
cool- I'm okay. Perfectly fine.
"It's
just that you said you wanted people to know who you are. Tonight was to be
your unveiling- when we told the world that you were mine- that we were
mates... but I don't want you to go if you're not feeling safe. There will be
other nights. I'd rather you be well-rested for Monte Carlo. We leave tomorrow
night. I wanted to be early enough to get settled and scope out the
rooms."
I pull
her hips toward mine so she's sitting as close as possible to me in the car. I
rest one arm around her back and I drape the other over her stomach so I'm just
holding her. And it's nice.
I
look up at him. "That's it?" I ask. "Just introducing me to the
rest of your clan?" And okay, so I can understand why he'd think I
wouldn't want to be around them, but.... "I... That's... I would feel
safe, as long as you were there too. So I... I wouldn't mind.
"If
you want to go... I think the chance to get my mind off... earlier, wouldn't be
a bad thing," I say, leaning closer and resting my head on his chest. I
close my eyes and just inhale his scent. Leather, and tobacco, and whatever
else it is that makes him feel so safe to me.
If she
wants to go... I guess- but we just won't take part of any of the rituals. I'd
wanted to explain them to her first. And it *certainly* won't be tonight...
with what happened, or nearly happened, with Penn.
"I
guess we could make a quick appearance, as long as you're sure it's not pushing
too hard."
The car
stops in front of the hotel and we both get out. Since we're not going to be
*participating*, we don't have to be there for another hour or so. "You
can get showered and changed and then we'll go. Okay, Ducks?"
The
doors to the elevator close and I turn to look at him. "Spike, I was
attacked, but I'm okay," I say. "Yes, it scared me, but I'm not going
to fall apart. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the concern," I slip my
arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. "But I want to go.
Especially if he... I want him to know he didn't scare me away from you."
Because
the more I think about it, I was all just a pawn in some sick game Penn has
been playing with Spike for who knows how long. He either wanted to make Spike
see me as a slut, or he wanted to hurt me or scare me so badly I left Spike,
hurting him so much more than I thought I could. But I have no intention of
letting him think he did either.
"I
*know*- but... it can be a scary thing... *he* can be when he wants to be."
We get
into the room and I throw my duster on the chair. I think while she's
showering, I'll break out the leathers.
"Cordelia?"
I ask as she heads toward the bedroom. "About what I said...
earlier..."
I
stop and reach for something, anything. I end up grabbing the back of a chair.
But that works. Because ... I don't know if I can breathe, much less stand.
He's
going to take it back. I just know it. He didn't mean it. He was just waiting
to be sure I wouldn't fall apart on him, first. And I guess that's something,
it means he's at least... well, he doesn't want to hurt me? Maybe?
"Y-yes?" I ask. And I can't look at him. I just don't want to see
the pity in his eyes when he tells me what I knew all along. I should have just
trusted my instincts.
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