A Ranma ½ Fanfic by Tracy Garnett AKA Crikit

"There is a silence that cannot speak.
There is a silence that will not speak.
Beneath the grass the speaking dreams and beneath the
dreams is a sensate sea. The speech that frees comes forth from
that amniotic deep. To attend its voice, I can hear it say, is to
embrace its absence. But I fail the task. The word is stone.
I admit it.
I hate the stillness. I hate the stone. I hate the sealed vault
with its cold icon. I hate the staring into the night. The questions
thinning into space. The sky swallowing the echoes.
Unless the stone bursts with telling, unless the seed flowers
with speech, there is in my life no living word. The sound I hear is
only sound. White sound. Words, when they fall, are pock marks
on the earth. They are hailstones seeking an underground stream.
If I could follow the stream down and down to the hidden
voice, would I come at last to the freeing word? I ask the night sky
From the book Obasan written by Joy Kogawa.

Silence. Ryoga hated the silence that the night brought with it. For it was during the nightly silence when Ryoga was lost and alone, that he realized he would always be that. He would always be lost and alone. Nothing would or could change. For each night he lost more of the will to fight the silence. It was a battle he could not win.

Every night he would dream the same dream. The same beginning, the same ending and the same conclusion. The conclusion would always be Ryoga in the silence that plagued the night and his heart. But did he choose to end this dream? No. Each night he lay his head down upon the pillow and shut his eyes waiting for sleep and the torment to overtake him. Tonight was no different. Ryoga knew what would happen. He would shut his eyes and then all would be lost until morning. When he would awake and continue his journey to escape the silence. Lying on his bedroll he shut his eyes and let the silence over take him….

Ryoga awoke with a start, sweat covering him. Glancing around his surroundings he discovered the familiar sleeping forms of Ranma and Genma. He was at the Tendo dojo, but how? That last thing he could remember was Ranma coming toward him, fist clenched, arm cocked preparing to deliver a punishing blow, and now he was here. What did it matter? He usually found his way back to the dojo anyway, so what did it matter how he got here?

Carefully and as quiet as he could Ryoga stood and made his way out of the room, hoping that he would be able to find the bathroom. He was sticky from the sweat and needed to wash himself, besides, he found that he thought best when he was soaking. He was in luck he found the bathroom on the second try. Sliding the door open he made his way in and prepaid to bathe. Sitting on a stool Ryoga scrubbed himself with the soap. Picking up the bucket of cold water that sat beside his feet, he dumped it on his head and the change began.

Ryoga could feel the change. The change that sent him from ordinary fanged boy to cursed black pig. He hated the curse. He hated Ranma for inflicting it upon him, but the curse was also a blessing in disguise. It gave him a chance to get close to Akane; true it was only as her pet but still when he was with her, Akane was his and he hers, nothing could change that, and nothing would change that.

Suddenly Ryoga heard a gasp behind him. Turning he saw the shocked face of his owner. Looking at him, unable to comprehend what she had just seen.

"Ryoga?" Akane slowly retreated from the bathroom, never turning her back on the little black pig.

"Bwwweeee…" Ryoga tried to call out to her but it was no use, pigs can’t talk. He doubted that she would listen even if he could. Still, he had to find her, he had to explain to her, and he had to apologize to her. Turning he ran and plunged into the hot water of the furu. As he returned to his original form he cursed, he had let Akane see his transformation and now she would never forgive him. Grabbing his clothes off the floor Ryoga ran out of the bathroom looking for Akane.

When he reached Akane’s room the door was open. Looking around the room he saw that Akane was not there, but where could she have gone? Suddenly he saw it. The window was open. She wouldn’t have…but she might have. Ryoga crossed the room and made his way out the window, it was then that he saw her. She was standing on the roof with her back to him, looking over the edge as if she was preparing to jump.

"Akane…" Ryoga slowly made his way across the roof to stand a few feet from her.

"Stop, Ryoga just stop. I don’t want to talk to you…"

Ryoga took another step towards Akane. His arms outstretched in an offering. "Akane, please I’m sorry. I never meant…"

Akane whirled and look at Ryoga the hatred evident. "You never meant to what? You never meant to deceive me? You never meant for things to go that far? Or you never meant for me to find out?"

Pulling his eyes away from hers Ryoga looked up at the sky, tears starting to form. "I never meant to hurt you."

Akane shook her head, letting a cold and heartless laugh escape her throat. "Well I guess things didn’t quite work out as you wanted them too, did they Ryoga?

"Akane please…"

"Please what?"

Ryoga inched the final steps that stood between Akane and himself. Reaching out a hand, which he carefully rested on her shoulder. "Please listen."

Akane recoiled at his touch, and stared up at him with daggers in her eyes. "No…No I won’t listen, why should I? Ryoga I trusted you. I cared for you. I…I loved you. But all that’s gone. I realize now that it was just an illusion, you’re, just and illusion. You never cared for me did you? I was just some dumb chick that you could use to get to Ranma. Wasn’t I?"

Ryoga turned his head unable to look at Akane’s angry face any longer. "No…no you have it all wrong. I do care for you Akane. In fact I love you."

"Love? How can you say you that? If you loved me you would have told me the truth. You would have told me about your curse. But instead you pretended to be my pet. You embarrassed me, and made me hurt Ranma. You don’t know what love is…in fact Ryoga you don’t deserve to love or be loved." Akane took another step towards the edge of the roof. Her intentions now clear to Ryoga.

"Akane…What are you doing? " Ryoga looked at her in alarm and tried to move towards her, but stopped realizing that that would throw her over the edge.

Akane’s face twisted in to a sick smile as she talked to Ryoga. "What am I doing? Well Ryoga isn’t it obvious? I’m going to make you suffer. And the only way I can do that is by removing myself from your life, and my families. That way when you see them or walk by this house or even think about me, you’ll know…you’ll know that you were the cause of my death. Oh sure, people will just say that the pressure got to me, but you’ll know Ryoga. You’ll know why I did this, and it will haunt you for the rest of your life."

With that Akane took one more look at Ryoga. The sickening smile still on her face, and threw herself off the roof.

"AKANE…."

Ryoga woke with a start covered in sweat and trying desperately to catch his breath. Looking around he discovered he was in his tent. It was a dream. The same dream he always had, the dream that is carried by the night’s silence. Silence. Ryoga hated the silence….