"To err is human, to forgive is divine."
Next to love, forgiveness is perhaps the most misunderstood term in the human language. Forgiveness has been twisted by a lack of awareness as to how it functions. To forgive does not mean we must rejoin with our ex-lovers, free criminals from prisons, return to old jobs or anything else absurd. We are taught to believe that if we are to forgive the ones who hurt us, it must manifest in some form of behavior and it reflects weakness. Forgiveness is a function of love that seeks to understand the negative of another person and to release the pain and find inner peace. When you choose to forgive somebody this does not mean that you acknowledge their cruel behavior as acceptable, for doing this would be dishonest. Above all, it does not mean that we assume a superior (holier than thou) attitude to pardon the sins of others.
Let's explore the truth of forgiveness. The meaning of the verb forgive, translates into "to let go," which is the act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the releasement of negative feelings given to you by another. It is your responsibility to let go of the hurt that another produces for you. The other person can apologize to you for their negative impact , but you still have to let go of the hurt feelings in order for forgiveness to become a healing experience.
What makes forgiveness so difficult, for so many? The greatest obstacle in the living of our life is the negative ego, which loves to hold onto grudges and is our greatest source of resistance towards forgiveness. Our negative ego is what blocks our happiness and peace of mind. We hold within us grudges, bitterness, and resentment which later manifest in Stress, Ulcers and Poor Health conditions. Ultimately, we have a choice to support our Ego or our Souls, to Be Right or to Find Peace.
Forgiveness like all other soul qualities (Peace, Love, Innocence, Respect, Oneness, and Passion) does not require a type of behavior. It begins with a relinqushing of emotional baggage and the choice to function from your Soul vs. your negative Ego. Forgiveness is a willingness to precive everyone, including yourself, as either expressing love or feeling a need for more love. It is a relinquishing of a harmful train of thought
Forgiveness offers freedom to live a full and harmonious life. The bi-product is our own willingness and ability to forget. If we can not seem to forget then we have never completely let go. Holding on to pain only weakens us and produces misery. The purpose of forgetting is to prevent the mind from becoming a battle field. Negative feelings evaporate whenever they are looked at calmly and honestly and are dealt with responsibly. Often the processs is gradual. The desire to function from your Soul and to live your life with peace of mind is the motivation for forgiving another.
If you feel that forgiving adds one more grudging obligation to your life, you are functioning from your negative ego. Understanding that forgiveness is the doorway to your happiness is the choice to function from your soul. When you are attacked by another, you must first deal with the hurt felling that you honestly feel. Too many try to forgive without releasing their anger and hurt. A great habit to cultivate is to pause whenever you are having difficulty releasing an upset form your mind. Look directly and , in detail, at the contents of your thoughts. Dissect your emotions. Step back from them for a moment and gain new prespective. Write them down in a journal to gain clarity. And give yourself time to forgive, it doesn't have to be instantaneous.
And a person who claims they never feel hurt by others is not more spiritually evolved, but more likely emotonally repressed. To be a spirtual, doesn't mean you have to like the ego of everyone that crosses your path. For you would then become transparent and lose your individuality. Liking somebody and letting go of someone's negative impact upon you are two completely different issues.
When you finally understand that you can generate the healing of forgiveness, which you have been seeking outside of yourself, you become the master your life. It will never happen until you take full responsibility for every facet of your life and your relationships with others.
When you stop looking for Love, Security and Peace Outside Yourself and Find it Within, your finally set free and the magic of forgiveness has worked it's spell.
by Michaiel Patrick Bovenes ~ reprinted with his permission
copyright 1998 Circle of Light Publishing |
