Bush: You mean the Airport?
Franken: ... NO! President John F. Kennedy! You see, in the early days of his administration, he tried to flex our Military Muscle, which resulted in the Bay of Pigs disaster. After that blunder, he seemed to wise up, and become more of a diplomat. Mr. Bush, he is one of the most beloved and inspiring presidents, despite the fact that he ontinued American involvement in Vietnam...
Bush: YOUPPI!! YEE-HAW!
Franken: Don't cheer just yet. This man was loud, obnoxious, just a real prick. He brought back the Draft for Vietnam, and was just an overall pain in the ass. Sure, he brought us Medicare, medicaid and passed the Civil Rights act, but you see, only scolars remember that stuff. The general masses, outside of Texas, hate his guts, Mr Bush. Speaking of Hate....
Franken: Relax, Mr. Bush, it's just Richard Nixon. You see, This man was an even bigger slimeball than LBJ. Sure, He made peace with the Soviet Bloc, and sure, he improved relations with China, but you see, his personality was deplorable, and was a highly dispicable man. He, infact, resigned as president.
Bush: Now why did he do that?
Franken: Look up "Watergate" sometime, Mr. Bush.
Bush: Oh.
Bush: You mean the car guy?
Franken: Again, NO. Gerald Ford pulled America's army out of Vietnam, and..
Bush: Waiddaminute, that Ghost feller said HE ended Vietnam!
Franken: Nixon? Please, He's just taking credit because he started cutting back on the amount of troops sent. Gerald Ford, despite ending one of America's darkest eras, is hardly remembered for anything, at all.
Bush: HEY! That's Daddy's old Boss! Dady's frie-I mean, my party wants me to put him on the dime!
Franken: Yes...I know. Anyway, This man almost undid ALL of Carter's hard work. He threatened the Soviets with a Space Weapons program. He stirred up trouble with Iran and Iraq. He secretly sold weapons to everyone! And for some reason, you Republicans treat him as if he were God, even though everyone else remembers him ALOT more differently...
Bush: IS HE TALKIN' WITH ONE OF THEM PINKO CHINAMEN?
Franken: Yes, Mr. Bush. You see, Jimmy Carter was not just a leader, he was a diplomat, and a good one.
Franken: Ah yes, Your father, George Bush Sr. You may hold him in high regard, but the general population could have done better without him. He was a dickead, Mr. Bush. A liar, a cheat, a thief, and a fool. He let his country fester with a recession. He broke his promise of "No New Taxes." He wasted alot of time and money on Anti-Drug programs. There's no wonder why he only served one term.
Bush: You mean the guy who played the Saxaphone and cheated on his wife ?
Franken: Yes, Him. You see, The Clinton era was a bizarre time. People felt SAFE, Mr. Bush. He charmed the world into hating us less, and was actually a well-respected president, despite his debauchery and shady dealings.
