I expected no less, I suppose. Now that they've decided my inheritance doesn't belong in my hands, I won't even have the keep to return to if I decided I wanted to go home for a time. No home to go back to, no longer a place that is truly mine in every sense of the word. That keep bears my mark on it. But no longer. Maybe they're right, though. What do I know of managing such extensive lands, especially now that all must be rebuilt? Maybe it will be better to have someone there, firsthand, who has experience in such things, and who is older and wiser. However, they could have allowed me to appoint someone. But it's done. And I trudge on.

More death. I'm wondering if I'm becoming numb to it now. Casidhe and Calhin have perished, I'm told. They were good people...and Casi having just lost her child in such a tragic way. Fate is a malicious entity. More good people gone. I can't even cry. Just marching steadily onwards to nowhere. This place...it's been one big lie from the beginning to me. I'm so tired. Beating my head against a wall...

Hestia's determined to stay. I'm not entirely sure why, but in a way I'm glad. She's good company, refreshing with her upbeat personality. I wish I could be as I once was. I could have fun no matter what. Just three years ago, having strolled into a new world with an apple in one hand and my pack in the other. Those were good days. But I really wasn't myself then, being "Clarity-Jane". It was an exhausting exercise.

I spoke with Neo last night. He's having a rough time of it too, it seems. The world has gone mad, I told him, and he insists it's only the isle. Either way... I don't know what to think of things anymore. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. I haven't felt comfortable for a very, very, very long time. Not since the day the initial lie was uncovered. Poor, naive little Janie indeed. Did I mention how tired I am? But it's been nice to talk to Tiger, too. Unfailing, she is. I'm glad to know her.

Do I call this place home now? Not the isle itself, no...never surely. Home is where your heart is...my heart does not belong to this isle. My heart only resides in my house where real love exists with no facades, no secrets, and no ill-intent. My shoppe carries my heart, too, as my work does, and the beach, in some ways, as well.

I miss having people around that I could just laugh with. I miss evenings of frivolous entertainment. I miss having days where my largest worry was how much my next fall from a tree was going to hurt. I miss fun and happiness. Foreign concepts these days it seems, not just to me but to a great many. Let's hope things look up...and soon.

I'm so tired.

Journal Entry, 6 January, Jane Maichen.

*Her puffy, swollen eyes open as she turns her head slowly. Not suprized to see Eyas asleep upon the chaise next to her bed, as she remembers asking that he stay close last eve, however quite suprized to find herself upon the very same chaise, curled against him as a scared child would to their mother. Knowing nothing inappropriate happened,she assumes the obvious, those horrid dreams again...the tossing and turning must have thrown her from her bed.*

*Reluctenly pulling herself from the saftey of being near him, she quitely reaches for her journal, wishing an outlet for her fears, then takes a step towards her own bed, and pauses, glancing at his still sleeping form..."I'm at home, no one is about, Propriaty be damned"..slipping in next to him again,needing the security far more then she admits, and props her journal up on her lap.

___

I feel as though i'm at deaths door.

Last eve someone followed me to the dome, I did nae know it was someone untill i felt that tingle of a spell cast. It was more like an illusion of sorts, an errie feeling i was being watched. I cast my own spell to disillusion and only then did i realize that it was someone, a man to be exact. It was late, and dark, though i could tell that he had somewhat sandy blonde hair, and was quite tall. I caught a glimps of his eyes from the reflection of the moon as well, yes he was that close...they were green, an eerie haunted green.

I quickend my pace towards the dome, and to my dismay he kept up with me, almost as if it were a game. I know he's a mage as well, I could feel it in the strength of his spell. It took nearly everthing i had to disillusion it. He is strong, at least in that area, something about him that is nae right though. I cant put my finger on it, He has the quiet strength that most women long for in a man, but this man is different..his strength is eerie...quiet...dark...even deadly.

I began to run, as the dome was in site, and once again he kept up with me..with a suprizing stealth i have seen in few others. As though he was trained his whole life in the art of tracking.

He nae once ever approached me, nor uttered a word, but i know he is after something....or someone. He wants something from me, and he's not beyond killing to get it. I can feel it. Mage to Mage, he didnt have to say a word, his presence there was enough to tell me all i needed to know..or at least all he "wanted" me to know. His adgenda is evil, pure hate is consuming him. I was freezing cold by the time i reached the dome..almost frozen inside, my recent discovery of some ability to feel when death is lurking, had me numb by time i hit the dome..literly..*pausing to recall how she ran head first into the closed door at the dome*

He wants me to know he is there, wants me to feel his presence, his magic, wants me to be afraid. But he didnt attack..not yet anyway. Its as though he is toying with me for some reason, putting me on edge, making me doubt my sences. One thing a user of magic can not do. Trusting yourself, and your instincts are a must where magic is concerned. And he is purposfully casting a doubt over that. Trying to make me second guess..tormenting me in a way that only one mage can do to another...and he knows it. He wants me out of the picture for some reason, be it by insanity, or death, He definatly wants me out of the way, and i have a feeling he will see to it. Personally.

This man is pure death.

After explaining all this to Eyas and Attrei last eve, though i would nae tell either of them what i believe his motives are with me....Eyas feels that he knows whom it might be...Marcus Geist..Morte's brother.

From what Eyas told me, Marcus has come here to avenge a death, a death he feels Morte is responsible for. While i only recall bits and pieces of the story, seems this Marcus, has killed before without hesitation, he slaughtered Morte's fiancee in cold blood. And since Morte got away, Marcus has been after him ever since. It also seems now that Eyas has something this horrid creature of a man wants..though i'm not sure what it is. Has something to do with a box eyas has. He showed me the box last eve, when we were alone, nothing special about it, just an old worn rusty metal box. Eyas swears there is some kind of magic about it, but i felt none. Untill he opened it...

My body became the same ice as it did when i was being followed, i knew my lips were blue, and the cold froze me to almost stop my heart from beating. He quickly closed it, and i became warm quickly, as though nothing had happened. I do nae know whats in that blasted box, but I do know, its something evil, mayhap even deadly, and THAT is what Marcus wants, almost more then anything, the contents of that box is the link between life and death...Mabye ours...

Eyas made me promise to carry my blade with me at all times now..he feels it for the best. I dispise that thing, i havent picked it up in almost a year now..*glancing over to where the sheath containing her shortsword lays* He says my magic may not be enough...as Marcus's is quite powerful, but then again, from what i hear, Marcus is almost as skilled with his blade as his magic..if not more so. So what good is it to me, who has nae had any recent training, to weild a blade against a madman?

I was quite good with it once...long ago, i could at least hold my own, but tis been so long, after the deaths of...*shakes her head*...I just nae ever wished to pick it up again. My magic has always been enough to sustain me.

However i will carry it with me, as eyas has nothing but my saftey at heart, I will trust him, and do this. But i will use my magic first. He will have to understand..the blade...the cold metal of death..will only be used as a last resort...One hit with magic has a CHANCE of surviving...Hit with a blade though..in the right place...instant death...I do nae think i could live thru that ever again.

*Glances over at Eyas, seeing him stir a bit, and quickly finishes her journal, sneaking back into her own bed, having no intention of allowing him to know the level of her fear.*

"I'm going to die journal, plain and simple, This man is used to getting what he wants..I will not back down from him in a confrontation and he sences that, so he's going to use other means, he knows he's scaring me...he wants me to be scared, he enjoys it, and ultimately he knows this will be a battle of magic's...one mage to another...he wants something from Eyas and Morte and he wants me out of the way so he can get it...and from what i hear...Marcus usually gets what he wants....

*doesnt even sign her journal, leaving it upon the bed to dry, and quickly heading out to have her will drawn up...to tie up some loose ends...fully convinced that her own is near...*

Journal Entry, 6 January, Lady Charquin.

: Trying as he might to write with a quill jammed between his claws, he grows frustrated as they keep snapping in half. He then asks his 'domesticated human'..a private joke between he and his friend, fellow shopowner Aemeryllis..to write this in a journal.:

A strange occurrence just took place. This pretty human just left my shoppe in a snit. Well, uproar is more like it. When she learned she couldn't hire me to eat people, she screamed and first said I falsely advertise. I explained as calmly as I could in common, that I am a carrier of persons over the waters and back. She didn't much like it when I answered her next question with a resounding NO: NO I shall not entertain the idea of landing ON someone. That would be against my honor. And could kill innocents, and myself. And if I did not survive it, surely the people of the Island would have me executed.

She then took a different tactic: threatened to tell the Guildmaster of the Shoppes that I defrauded her of gold. I blinked and explained that I keep immaculate records of my transactions, and that the gold wouldn't add up in the face of her lie.

She did not like that at all. She began to scream that she'd say I physically asserted myself onto her against her will. "What, assaulted your person?" Then she got a glint in her wicked green eyes and said "I'll cry rape." Now HOW could a dragon rape a human being? I cannot even envision such a shocking thing..she couldn't either, it seems, because she abandoned that threat and found a new one.

"I will make you change your mind somehow, and you might not like it when I do, but you will come about and do it my way." She then slammed the door and left on foot. Didn't even catch her name, but something tells me this girl is trouble.

Journal Entry, 6 January, Lord Dewar
Written in common for Lord Dewar by Aemeryllis

:"Aemery, do you know her name, the vicious one who spat threats at me?" Aemery looks at him and nods.."Of course I do, that's Cipriana Vyras. And something tells me she will be back."