~Intro~

Waste a day through
Feeling so bad
We are going nowhere
Letting this go
This feeling I have
It takes more than I have to give...

I'm so enlightened by your mystery
The question eats me up inside...it's
Time I look into the sky...

I can see your face

~Verse 1~

The way that I felt
What's wrong and what's right
Failed the meaning every time
You left swiftly
But you didn't give me
A chance to think it over...over...

~Chorus~

Comfort me...I'm cold
(So enlightened by your mystery)
Follow in your own
(Your spirit fills me up inside)
It's time (time)...I (I)
Let you in my life...

I feel everything...

~Bridge~

...Everything

(I know)
You are so
(I know)
Won-der-ful
(I know)
You are so
(I know)
Incredible
(I know)
You are so
(I know)
Unforgettable
(I know)
You are so...true...

~Chorus~

Comfort me...I'm cold
(So enlightened by your mystery)
Follow in your own
(Your spirit lifts me up inside)
It's time (time)...I (I)
Let you in...my life

I feel everything...

~Val shakes his head, appreciating his work of art, but wishing that the circumstances wouldn't have existed at all. He leaves his journal open to dry, and retires groggily onto his bed, turning off the light, into a restless sleep...~

Journal Entry, 4 February, Valyndor Lyndrae.

Dear Journal,
It has been quite good for me these past few days. I got to talk to Xanthia again, for what seemed like hours. I really enjoyed our conversation. She told me something about her, and I ended up trying to comfort her. I held her hands for a second, but for some reason I held them a little longer than I intended. I'm starting to feel the same way as when I... Could it be? Lately, I'm not really sure how I feel. Things between me and Chastity seem to continue to get worse.I must do something. I still want our friendship to continue. Well I hope I see Xanthia again and my friendship with Chastity to get better.

Journal Entry, 4 February, Eden Arcane

Dearest Journal,
I have been neglecting my writing as of late but I think its because there is not much to say. Things are going well since the battle with Marcus, I have not heard much from Morte, but it seems that he and his brother are healing and at the same time they are trying to run a ship along with Eyas and the few remaining crew members. I haven't been to the dome as much as I would like and I haven't returned home. I asked Neo what I should do and he thought I should stay *smiles* well he wanted me to stay perhaps more than he thought I should but really who am I to complain, his house is much closer to the shop and to the dome and its nice not to have to be alone all the time.Everybody at the dome as begun teasing me to no end about Neo, but I really don't care, I see no problem with him, perhaps they can't see past the "turnip" to the person inside...I never will understand why in the world he is called Turnip, but I suppose nobody will. Well Journal, I bid you goodbye for now, I'm sure there will be more to write at a later time.

Journal Entry, 5 February, Rosalyn Lovine

*as she signs the journal she leaves it open in the back of her shop and heads to the front to help a customer*

p> In his return from the shore, Lucenth's searching were futile. Raven just wasn't around to find. Worry grew in him as days passed without any news from his human companion. He was not to be found on either sides of the sea. Alone and desperate he took flight to the mainland, hoping to find answers. Could it be that ... ? No ... impossible. Still his wet eyes discovered a piece of paper .. written in familiar handwriting:p> I thought of you the other day
How worlds of change led us astray
Colors seem to fad to gray
In the wake of yesterday…
You looked into my eyes
You had me hypnotized
And I still remember you
I had a dream of you and I
A thousand stars lit up the sky
I touched your hand and you were gone
But memories of you live on…
You looked into my eyes
You had me hypnotized
And I still remember you
Those moments spent together
Promising forever
And I still remember you
Do you ever think of me
And get lost in the memory
When you do, I hope you smile
And hold that memory a while

The little doubt he had was dispelled now ... Raven was dead. A sigh escaped him .. it was only a matter of time before finding his dead body ...

And so it was that in the nineth day along the mainland's coastline a body was washed ashore, the knife stabbed trough the decomposing body. There was no way Lucenth wouldn't recognize the outfit ... especially the lute hanging.

Journal Entry: 6 February, Raven Nightwind

"she wanders through the manor aimlessly stopping now and then to look at the paintings on the walls..the children, Mia and Alkane as babies..she looks at it a good long time and smiles then moves on to the next one of them a bit older....she sighs as she comes to the painting of Marissa"

Why did she have to die? She was just a baby. So young, innocent and pure. Brought into the world by....love? lust? Which was it? Well, I know it was from love on my part, I just dont know what it was with her father. Did he -ever- love me? I know he loves the children, not a doubt in my mind on that.

"she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand as she feels the tears start, she sighs and moves on to look at the next painting and frowns as she comes to a painting of Alterio, she quickly moves away from it not wanting the memories flooding her mind..some sad but there were a lot of happy ones also"

"she goes back to her room where she has spent the biggest part of the last two days and sits down at the desk pulling the journal over and picking up the quill dipping it into the ink" p> I have misplaced the last two days. Stuck in this room stareing at the walls. Where is my husband? Still at his sons manor. I havent received a reply from the letter or the note i sent several days ago. Does he not love me either? He has never once told me he did. Did he just marry to have a bed companion? To many damn questions that i cant even ask.

I wonder whats been going on at Dome. Besides the same old gossip..Maybe I will go there in a bit. Im tired of staying in this room. The manor is empty except for the help and Alkane. I guess my husband will come home when he sees fit to do so. My asking him to return has been fruitless.

Hmm Khalidan's party? It sounded like it would be fun. And i thought of going but He wont let me shove Thia overboard. "smirks" Considering there are a few others I wouldnt mind shoving overboard, its best if i dont go.

Enough babbling. I need to get out for a while.

Vixen

"she leaves the journal open to dry and decides she will indeed go out before she really does go insane"

Journal Entry: 7 February, Vixen Blade Carazzi

"Wraps a towel around her as she gets out of the tub and looks in the mirror, she flinches as she sees the slight bruise still on her cheek. Grumbling to herself she sits down at the desk and pulls the journal to her"

I knew I should have stayed home last night. Aye maybe I deserved to be slapped but he shouldnt have expected me to answer that question. Im married to his father and asking me to say he is the best lover i have ever had is just wrong..

And bringing up memories that I try to forget. Things I dont want to think about. Why was he even thinking about those times? When he was so quick to shove me away he didnt seem to care then about all the times I was there for him. Through all of his failed marriages, his other women, all the arguments we had. I was always the one that apologized.. after I had calmed down.

He says I hurt him but he doesnt seem to remember all the times he hurt me. Maybe not intentional hurt on his part but still it happened. All the times I left him but always came back. He was like an addiction. An addiction that im still fighting to control.

And who the hell flew in that i have to keep an eye on my husband over? He never did tell me who it was or why i should keep an eye on my husband. Only that it was..a friend? So i just have to assume its a woman or Alterio wouldnt have told me to keep an eye on his father. Did he tell me out of concern or out of spite? Well, whoever she is, Im sure if he had wanted her he would have married her. After hearing rumors of his other children I have to guess he had mistresses just like Alterio. What was in his past isnt my concern as he so kindly informed me. But if he thinks that will continue he better think again. If he thinks he still needs other women and thinks I will just ignore it and keep silent..he better think again.

He is to return home today. Or so his note said. Makeup should cover this bruise nicely. Hopefully he wont notice it. I have no intentions of telling him how i got that. Or from whom. They are finally talking again after all these years. I think they need each other, more than either of them will admit. I wont be the cause of any rift between them.

Anyways I have some things to do before he gets home so enough babbling for now.

Vixen

"she lets the ink dry and closes her journal, then rises to get dressed and work on that bruised cheek before he arrives"

Journal Entry: 8 February, Vixen Blade Carazzi

Rosalyn holds a hand on her aching head and pulls out her journal, trying to hold it and write with one hand*

Dearest Journal,
Good Heavens, I don't think I'll ever drink so much again, my head is throbbing. It was fun while it lasted though, I seriously hope that Khal doesn't remember much of it, unfortunatly I do,I remember quite a bit, but I doubt that Char will and somethings don't need to be repeated to others *chuckles softly* I am very glad that nobody was able to see us last night,the rumors would be on the lips of every citizen on this isle by nightfall. *sigh* In other news, it seems that Eyas hasn' been coming home at night and Char hasn't seen him in three days, she's incrediby worried and upset, but continues to say that since she has no ring on her finger he can do as he pleases, well I don't believe that she really thinks that, I know better but who am I to say anything when I haven't seen Neo in nearly a week and my worries about it are often cast aside by the thought that he can do as he pleaes, its obvious he will, who am I to stop him. *frowns and looks around the room* This is his house, yet I haven't seen him in it, perhaps he comes home when I am asleep and leaves before I wake, I don't know, I think that I chase men away. Well Journal, I have work to do and this headache has to go so this is it for now, perhaps I will have good news to write later.

-Journal Entry, 8 February, Rosalyn Lovine

: He retires to his room, alone. A trace of the concoction women use to stain their lips on his collar, he notices when he begins to disrobe for sleep. He stares at it, and throws the collared tunic in the wastecan.

He strips down and sits at the edge of the bed. Uncomfortable, he feels as if he's being watched. There's no one there, but he reaches for his robe nonetheless, and just can't sleep. Not as if he truly tried, but the restlessness grows, and after tying his robe closed, he goes to the desk and writes in his book.:

The evening started out pleasantly but..turned rather awkward, strange, one might say tense or borderline hostile.

Silvana..how many years was she my kept woman. She's a beauty and has aged very well. But if I wished her constant company, I wouldn't have married another. I never truly intended to marry Silvana, she was a fine bedmate and one to look after, but not one to bestow the Carazzi name unto.

I should've known something was awry when she told me to sit beside her. She smelled so pretty, so familiar. But I truly thought my son asked me, through her, to keep her company this night. I had wondered why only the maid was around..and followed her into the kitchen after she served dessert, leaving Silvana in the dining hall alone. She seemed panicked when the maid avoided eye contact with her, her hands fluttered out of nervousness to her throat..as if she knew that I would learn the truth.

The young maid did indeed tell me all I needed to know once in the kitchen, in private. That she has an ear to the gossipmongers in this House, and while not adding to the gossip, she does in fact soak in what is said. And what was said seemed to map out the evening: That Silvana came to try and "win me away" from Vixen.

I didn't wish to believe that. And I didn't, at first. I chuckled to the maid that I was not a prize at Carnival, up for winning. That I am older now, hopefully a bit wiser, and had every intention on being faithful to my young wife. The maid looked up at me and wished me luck..:Smirks: These young ladies can be so impudent sometimes. Imagine, wishing ME luck. Bah.

Well, armed with the rumor, I went back to the dining hall, and retook my seat beside Silvana. Before I knew it, her tongue was tracing my ear..my neck..her hand groping for my loins. She was always a passionate woman and age and time haven't changed her needs. I grasped her wrist gently but firmly and asked her to stop it. She pouted..I swear, she's a little girl trapped in an older woman's body now, with these pouty looks and childlike mannerisms..her head low, chin tucked but looking up with wide eyes.."Don't you want me anymore?" she asked, tears beginning to well. I told her that I would always look out for her and continue her employ, but I am married again, and this time I wish to be with one woman only.

"Why the change? What's she got that I've not, Alterio?" I couldn't find the words then and there, because I was still rather shocked that her hand was finding its way back to my member. "CEASE" I said sharply, and she burst into tears. She knows the manor better than she let on..she fled to her guest quarters, up the stairs in a rather impressive flash.

Now I am getting on in age and cannot sprint stairs as I did in the past. The maid was peeking and I motioned her over with my finger. "Send Charles up to her room and tell him to carry her down if need be, for we are talking this out whether she wishes to or not. She will not run from this discussion." The maid looked up at me again, slyly. "Sir Carazzi," she said, matter-of-factly, "Don't you know that THAT WOMAN gave the servant staff the night off? Charles is out on the town, she released all but me this evening, for I was to serve dinner. She wanted no witnesses to her scheming."

Well, I was fit to be tied. My Manor's domestic now acting as Mistress of this Manor, giving staff a night off? I was furious and charged up the stairs.

I banged on the locked door, and she let me in without a fight, which surprised me. I thought she'd say "Let me be", but she didn't do any such thing. Instead, she opened the door and let her gown fall to her ankles.

Still a stunning body, and I know my glance lingered, but it was more out of memories of the past than a current lust or urge for her. If a nude woman stands before any man, of course he will look.

"Forget her and come back with me to Achethe" she pleaded, her hands reaching to caress my chest. Again I took her by the wrists, and said no. That this was not up for discussion. She wanted no part of it. She actually, physically threw herself at me.

"You can't do this to me, I will die." No, you shan't die over this. I was your paramour for years, aye, but you are still young enough and pretty enough to find a proper man. "But I want none but you." Well as true as that might be, my dear, I am bound to another and that is how it is. She dropped to her knees and tried to lure, seduce me into a lustful act. I stepped away and told her that if she cannot stop herself, I must stop her.

She continued to try having her way with me. Finally, I leaned over, picked her up by the waist, and set her on her feet. I shook her, not hard to make her brain rattle, but to get her attention. "SILVANA" I bellowed, "STOP THIS AT ONCE. GET YE CLOTHING ON AND DO IT NOW." Must've frightened her for she did as told..

Then as she asked me to button the back, she had to get in a little dig. "I hear that your new wife doesn't listen as quickly or as well. Whatever you've asked me to do, I've done, without question or hesitation."

"Not this night," I reminded her. But aye, she did make me consider that point..that I could've likely had a life with Silvana that would be free of argument over little things. Where a physical, proven compatibility and a closeness in age exists rather..than looking the fool around my young wife's friends.

But that is not the case. I left her upstairs, went down, finished my supper, then came up here. And double-locked the door.

It's near three in the morning, I gather, by the moon's position. I still hear her sobbing, but I will not go to her. I will not do to Vixen what I did to Gira in that way. Things are different now. And Silvana best understand that.

:Closes the book whence it dries and tries to sleep.:

--Journal Entry, early hours of 9 February, Alterio Carazzi I.