Dear Journal:

Ahhhh... its been a few days. Not much has gone on... but ill note these events.

-The slave was attacked by the drow. He killed one of her tigers and left her for nothing.

-Mimic fight... I tested myself against a image of me... and came out to have won.

-I hurt the slave over the fact of her cat in temperment... nothing much else to say.

Really... thats all I have to write. Im sitting in the pub... listening to the slave and Gwen and Vixen and others talk.

Sinceley,
(*crude quick signiture*)
Zeingfeild the questionably.
-Journal Entry 31 March, Zeingfeild Purtun

::Sitting down at her desk, she opens her journal to write a bit::

Dear Journal;
Well so much has happened.. I look at the last entry and see that I have not written since Christopher came to live with me.

I hope I do right by the boy. I love Christopher, but I worry about being able to provide for him as well as his mother did, or his father could. I have had some problems finding someone to mind him and begin his education. If it continues, perhaps I will ask his Lordhip, Sir Pryce to recommend someone. I am sure someone in his position knows the more formally educated and socially acceptable folks. Perhaps I should have asked him first. Oh well.

His fifth birthday is coming up and I asked him what he wanted. He said his mother had promised him a pony for his birthday and I told him that I would make sure he had one. I havent looked into that as of yet, but I will do so this week.

As for business, I dont know. I wonder if I will even have one soon. Umeaningly, I butted heads with Alterio again. I was assigned a position on this new Guild committee then removed when I asked what we were supposed to be doing and whether or not the committee would hold any real power. I was trying to understand what was going on.. I just didnt get it.. I was so distracted with Alterio's arguing with Chas and also very distraught with trying to get a governess hired... I apparently missed part of what was being discussed. I was confused, I even said I was lost. I was also very tired so I went home. And then when I asked for explanation ... I was dismissed.

Regrettably, I guess I messed up. It happens. Of course people could be a bit more civil too, but that is too much to ask....happens every time.. I should know better ...

I am not happy. I dont know why. I should be happy. I have 'everything' ... I should be happy, but I am not.

Eden says he loves me. We had a 'misunderstanding' about his desire .. he didnt tell me the truth. He said he didnt anyway, because he didnt want to admit to me that he had no experience with such things and such deep feelings. ... I have a problem with the fact that he didnt tell me the truth.

I feel there is a distance between us now.

Things are bad ... I feel like just slipping away but I can not. I have to look after Christopher and do my best for him...

::just sets the quill down, leaving the journal out and open as she walks away from it, not caring if anyone reads it or not.::

-Journal Entry 31 March, Xanthia