~stretches out on the couch, alone in the Pleasuredome on a warm afternoon, save for Sheri, who she sent to the bath house. She groans at the ache in her stomach and the stuffiness of her head, and rubs tired eyes. Plucking up a quill, she begins writing restlessly~

I've come to realize that the idea of Alterio and I ever being happy together was absurd. We're too contrasted, and we want such different things. I've satisfied myself with shutting the door on such ridiculous notions. Let him be happy with Vixen. She'll put up with his ways. Infidelity is not something my morals can tolerate. I love him, surely enough, but that doesn't mean I can't be happy having him as just a friend, if he'll allow it. I'm not going to be one of those ridiculous sorts that mope after a man they love that's spurned them. No, I'll simply find someone else to love, someone to make me happy, who I can make happy. But know this: I'm in no rush.

That said I think I'll step lively. I've been talking a lot about things, why I've changed, and where I plan to go. I think I just want to better myself, redeem myself for the wrongs I've done, and the deaths I'm responsible for. I'd rack it up to at least seven. I know they may not all have been my fault, but either way I'll give back through my healing. Who have I been talking to? A fascinating young man I've just recently met named Greg. He intrigues me to no end, and seems a bit of a mystery. There's something behind that heavy-lidded gaze that hints at something so much more than what he reveals. He's horribly intelligent, at the least. My talks with him leave me with so much to think about. I feel, though, as though he knows far more about me than most after just two conversations, but I know very little of him. Mags and Tei don't trust him. I haven't the faintest idea why. What's not to trust? Heh...I've said that before. Naive Jane...oh well. As I told Greg, I'm the sort that believes it when I see it. I learn my lessons well and hard.

As a quick recap of everyone, Torlin's ornery, Alterio's impudent, Vixen's pregnant, Ali's displeased, Benny's being an idiot, Mags is plotting, Dan's a brat, Tei's stressed, Greg's intriguing, Claude's a eunuch?, Mia's Miarrific?, Mairin's a gem, Nikoli's tempermental, Lina's pensive, Nemesio's feminine, Lyr's evil (heh heh), Nun's perverted, Rugor's learning manners, Rowsy's peeved, Pheo's hot?, Sirrala's pleased with her new bed, Jasmin gets a mate, Tentales may be that mate, Taeliesyn's into Tei (I think), Treyman's active, Sheri's...Sheri, and I'm perfectly fine.

~Journal Entry 11 June, Jane Maichen

:::sits at the docks alone, after Nun's panther Brutus ate Alterios guard, with the journal in hand, opening it and begins to write:::

The sharkmen have returned to the island, if they ever left. And with them has returned Uncle Alterio's protective streak..annoying as that is. I know he means well, but, I havent had anyone watch out for me since I can remember, and I've lived 127 years...I think Ive almost perfected the art of taking care of myself by now.

::sighs softly as her thoughts turn to last night and the sharkmen:::

Those things are vicious...I saw my friend Miggi being ripped in half by one of their babies...right before my eyes. Poor, poor Curthis, he just couldnt handle it. They're at peace now, seeing as to how he took his own life right afterwards. Taelie, and Ali helped me to bury them. Poor Ali, the sight of seeing Curthis slain was too much for her. I wish she had gone back to the dome. I love her for helping me, and being the friend she always has been to me, and I worry about her alot.

When that sharkman attacked Uncle Alterio..something snapped inside of me...Ive lost alot of people close to me...and I am *not* going to let some damned fiend of a freak of nature take him away from me. Besides, he has Mia and Alkane, and Vixxy now to worry over. Not to mention the new lil one on the way. God, Ive missed Mia and Alkane.

:::dips the quill into the ink, as she thinks, looking out across the water:::

Im still greiving over the loss of my friends, but, I am damned determined not to show it to anyone. If I let it show, then Gods knows how Uncle Alterio will react. Likely Id have a guard posted at my cabin door.

Now, Vixxy, Gods, I love the woman to death, Ive tried to protect her for a while now, though, I guess I dont do a good enough job at it. Shes been a very good friend to me for a long time now. I worry about her and the new baby. I hope her and Uncle Alterio are happy together, I know he loves her. He may show it in weird ways, but, I know he does. Uncle Alterio still has his bevvy of women, but, I guess he always will. I love him for who he is, not what he does or says. Some people have a hard time with him, I guess maybe they just dont understand him. I just accept him for who he is, and love him just the same. It doesnt matter to me what he does...I just hope he treats Vixxy well.

Me? Im alone as always. Doesnt seem like too many people are interested in a woman like me with her own mind and her own convictions. ::Shrugs:: Maybe Im better off this way, I just know its kind of a lonely existance without someone to share things with.

:::sighs deeply as she ponders her life, and her thoughts, letting the ink dry as she watches the sunrise off the docks, then closes the journal:::::::

~Journal Entry 12 June, lyrias-dreams2

"sits at her desk thinking back over the last few days.. So much has happened lately...she looks at the blank page trying to remember everything as she starts writing..."

Its so good to have both my children back with me. I really missed them. I think Alterio has finally accepted and is dealing with it now. He doesnt seem to be so hostile towards me now. But he was very upset when i told him i was pregnant. Well not that im pregnant but the way i told him. I tried to tell him several times over the last few weeks. Just couldnt seem to get his attention for more than two minutes, so one evening I just left him a note telling him. It seemed the only way that i could get through to him lately. Then he demanded that i quit working.. Well i refused to quit. If he had -asked- me to, that would have been different. But i guess he worries to much, needlessly. But im young and healthy and He doesnt need to worry. This baby is going to be just fine. I know how much I can do and when i feel i cant do it, I will cut back more. We did come to a compromise,I wont quit working yet. I did, however, cut back on some work and placed others in charge of most of the shoppes for now. I still run the Boutique and he and i will go out to the resort to make sure its running smoothly.

"sighs wondering who she can trust any more"

ALterio dragged me home the night i told him i was pregnant. Threatening to chain me up til the baby is born. Gods no thats not gonna happen. I was so angry with him , I threw a chair threw his office window. I got lashed with a strap for that...Thanks to a little -birdie- that felt they had to report it. Well, i would have told him anyways so they can get a life and stay the hell out of mine. They wont make any points with Alterio by ratting on me , so they may as well save their breathe.

Mia and Alkane were both told finally that Alterio is their real father. At first, neither one wanted to accept that. But I think Its finally been accepted by them both. "smiles as she thinks back to last night" Alkane almost called him dad last night. I think he will come around a little faster than Mia will.

We have Thirlia with us now. Mia, ALkane and I found her on the mainland last night.. Gods they were so happy to see each other. They begged her to come home with us.. Alterio came looking for us. I thought he would be upset that we left the Island. But he was happy we found Thirlia. He took up back to the Island and Thirlia is living with us. Torlin will be happy that she was found. He had to return home to take care of some things and wont be back for a few days. Alterio has ordered her every toy that Black has at his shoppe. And Im to take them shopping today for whatever they want. SHe needs clothes which i will send from the shoppe today. I asked him if we can adopt her. But we have to wait on Torlins return to the island to see.

"as she hears the children down stairs she lays the quill down and closes the journal"

~Journal Entry 13 June, Vixen