I bet if I think about tomorrow for much longer, my head'll explode. I wanted to spite Alterio, so I told him a bit about my little adventure with Ered. Of course, he got upset, and called my uncle of all people, and lied to him. I'm not sure exactly what he said, but my being a harlot was mentioned. Lies, lies, lies...well I nearly died of mortification when I heard that my uncle had SOLD me to Alterio for a tidy sum, and again when I was hauled off like a child to have my mouth washed out with soap, snf then told that if I didn't go along with things, the Maichen name would be taken from me. There is nothing worse than having someone decide your worth, to accept money in turn for you, like you're a trinket. I'm trying my best not to think of that feeling right now, so I'm not going into it...

Then came the Ship of Wishes. I had nothing I wanted, so I wished for Alterio to fall on his head. It was temporarily satisfying, albeit selfish. Sue me. Then the baby...Alterio and Vixen's baby. Again, I don't want to think of that feeling either. I'm cutting that line of emotion right where it stands because such things don't belong in my head...moving right along.

The wedding...oh the wedding, and the pink flounces, and Wid, and the pouncing with Faithy, and Alt telling me he owns me and whatnot. I was elated and peeved at turns. Hard on the head, I'm tellin ya. I helped Ali to get ready, and thought, Hey, maybe I'll make it through a wedding this time. Nems was being an ass and nearly ruined it, but really, it was ruined thanks to flooding memories of archers, blood, and glassy black eyes staring eternally without seeing...... And Alterio, that hurts. It hurts, but end of thought trail. Stop it, stop it. I took my pathetic little self to the beach to cope, and ended up back on that Ship of Wishes. Nems, again, nearly ruined things with his wish to make Ben look like Alex. Damn that man. I'd slaughter him if I thought it honourable.

Leaving the ship after that fiasco, Alterio was disoriented, he looked as though he'd seen a ghost. He stopped me to apologize, essentially, and explain that he would never force me into service, and he just wanted me to keep Mai company, and help out with the baby. ~cringes and goes on~ I'd be happy to help out, even if he'd just asked...he said he just wanted a say in some things. That's not what he had stated initially, and I told him so. He apologized...then he kissed me, and I froze. It's hard to even describe it, it wasn't anything he was conscious of, I know, it was almost like a dreamed it, and it was short, faint, ghost-like itself, and he stepped back quickly, afraid, and I lost in my madness, retreated. A black cloud of finality and forboding... ~sighs~

I met a peculiar man...Claude Stark. We talked for awhile that night. He eluded me. It was like fingers sliding over glass walls...he made my head hurt. But he intrigued me, seemed to know things, ways to speak to me. It's driving me mad with curiosity. I wonder when he got here?

Today, I was met with the whole blown out of proportion reactions to someone's telling of the kiss to Vixen. It wasn't like that, not sexual, not the reuniting of alienated lovers, or anything even close. Oh, nevermind it. I gave up and chose to ignore it, and made ammends with Ben after he washed my mouth out with soap. Eh...not going into that either. Everyone seems to hate Wid, even Lina, who, whether she denies it or not, has a wicked strek. Heh heh...Lina's great, I just wish she weren't so shy. I don't know how to really draw shy sorts into conversation, which is why it took forever to become friends with Ri. Anyway, I don't get it. He's fun, a free-spirit...sure, a free-loader, too, but he carries no real malice. He's like a fresh breeze...a fresh, kinda fruity breeze.

I really had a chance to talk to Breuse today. We even had some fun. I got him to come play in the ocean with me. Stupid me. It was great for the first little while...until the sharkman came and bit him. I'm such an idiot. He's so nice, so sensitive...and I went and let something like that happen to him when he was just starting to show himself a little. I healed him as best I could, which went pretty well, but he thought he had hurt me due to the nausea that always accompanies those expenditures of energy. I tried to explain, but he ran off. Damn Alterio for making him that way with his ridicule. I left him some chamomile lotion for his burns, and do hope to speak to him again soon.

Okay, head hurts again. I'm off. Mairin was telling me stories earlier, and I swear I'm going to have nightmares. I don't know what it is about that girl, if she reads too much or what, but she's too vivid, and she's so morbid at times... But she's as sweet as can be, never says a harsh word. I'm glad Alterio's protected her and loved her as he has.

--Journal entry, 13 July, Jane Maichen

::Yawns and rests in her bed, picking up a quill and pulling out her journal. She pushes Geniveve, her coyote, off the bed and sighs, beginning to write.::

A strange few months it has been, and I am alone. I fear that my husband shall not return from werever he has dissapeared to, and I also worry that I will have to raise his child alone. It is a curse to be alone.

Despite recent engagements with Andross, and his desire to help me raise Saria and the new baby, I still feel lost. As good a man as I believe him to be, I doubt he can provide what I really need. A shoulder to cry on late at nights, someone who will take away the bottle before I'm sputtering and dancing around like a maniac. What I need more than a husband is a caretaker, as pathetic as that is. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since my drinking match with Tae, and I doubt I will have another drop until my baby is born. After that, who knows?

My own inner demons are strong, as are others on the island.. Alterio with his promiscuity, Vixen's addiction to Alterio, my alcohol issues, Tae and his constant lonliness, and Jane with her 24/7 silliness. (Which I love..)

I love the way Tae lights up when Lyrias enters the room. His face gets so much brighter, and his smile wider. Really that's the only time he smiles, unless I get him drunk. Tae is a good friend, and I hope he's allright until Lyri reappears.

As for Jane, she's a great person to go to for cheering up. Jane, thank you for your quirks! ::grins and again pushes Geniveve off the bed::

One more friend I wish to note in this, but I have many more for yet another day. Tiger, you are awesome. Thank you for always being there, and taking my side even when you know I'm really very wrong! I owe you one.

::Sees Geniveve get back on the bed. She shrugs and gets up, off to make breakfast!::

--Journal entry, 14 July, Danirat

::She yawns softly as she opens her journal, set on writing what ever comes to mind. She glances around the Pleasuredome once, then begins to write::

Not much has happened with me in the past few days. I watch the goings on in the pleasuredome, I go home, work then go to sleep. Eh, my life has been pretty dull. Hmm...Ah! Vrax and Tiger are engaged! I am so happy for them. I hope they will be happy together for a long time.

::She glances up and bites her lip in thought as her mind drifts to Alex::

Alex...I wonder where he is and what he's doing. I haven't seen him in a couple of days. I left pretty suddenly the other night, and I wanted to apologise for it. It was rather rude of me. I feel terrible about it. I'm sure I will have a chance to apologise soon, or at least I hope. ::She sighs and runs a hand through her hair.:: Life has been so dull lately, more so than usual.I wonder what I could do to liven it up....

Hmmm...weel this weekend I got a strange delivery. A 10 pound lobster. It was a thank you from Alterio. And a sweet gesture. But what was I going to do with that much of a lobster? Ah well...thought that counts right?

:;She rubs her eyes and sighs softly::

Ah! I am so happy! I got a bardic lute, from Dan's shop. It's really well made and all of that. Well I think I have rambled on enough... Until next time

--Journal Entry 16 July, Lina Metallium

On with my new life it seems. A good life though. Those that have become annonymous, have a bit of respect in there reclusiveness. I thought about Bran and Sansa today...My dead family. Ah, well its alright...we all die one day. Thinking of Rowsy is often hard as well, though the reason she left me, not even valid. Bad form Row...Bad form. In any rate, it seems my dark disposition seems to charm the locals. Ironic, when I struggled to be righteous they hated me. I've resulted to beating up inferiors. Roughing up pathetic knights. And using Nymphs for the occaisional "fun" Father, would be proud. :: smirks almost sadistically. :: Weak man, Weak king. Dearest father, I'd curse you outright if you stood before me. Infact....you were cremated weren't you, and died...in another land...Hahahaha.....This could be rich. :: He rushes off from his office in the bazar, nodding to Maester Lucas, whom he just informed he employs. His destination, to inspect the volcano::

--Journal entry 17 July, Claude Torrent