*Lia sits quietly in her bed, unwrapped for once. Staring vacantly out the window, her brilliant sea-green eyes seem distant and vague. She looks a bit thinner- the results of her refusing food, dark circles beneath her eyes, no sleep..Taking on the large picture is a little more than she can bear..Her brother's death hurts most it seems like everything is a downward spiral to death, everyone she cares for- was cared for by, diminishing. Swiveling her eyes upward she grimaces lightly, unsure of who to trust who to let herself love, now unsure about the prospects of it lasting at all..She looks at her toes quietly, aching in her missing Alkane, needing his presence and his reassurence- a touch that might be comforting as well as long lasting...sniffing quietly she wonders why Torlin had to go..He was such a beautiful thing, she loved him so..He was always there, he always knew what to say somehow, what to do..She earlier met her second mother's sister- Katelin, and finds it hard to be content in her presence. She worried constantly for Alterio, for Vixen and for their happiness, she rarely sees Mia, sees most people's love's leaving or fighting. Trembling lightly she balls up more tightly on her bed feeling sick and looks about her room with a shudder...Lia looks away quietly not knowing much of anything: how she feels or what she wants, what to say or do..Closing her eyes she fixes to fall into the one remedy she can rely on sleep..however flightly or full of nightmares it is..

--Journal entry 18 August, Thirlia

::She bites her lip as she ties her hair back, then looks out over the water. She shifts a bit in the sand as she opens her journal. She thinks for a moment, then looks to the blank page.::

Ah well...I...I have no clue why I am writing this journal entry right now. Hmm...Well I finally realised that with Claude...I was just settling. I feel so strongly about Ben, it's like...Well I now know, I never got over him when he and Ali got together, I just forced myself to forget.

But poor Claude, what am I to do about him. I don't want to hurt him again...never did really, I do care for him, I really do, but...ah it's so complicated. I told myself I'd just forget about ben and stay with Claude, but when Ben asked me what's wrong, adn finally go it it out of me...He asked me not to push him away. Though I wasn't pushing -him- away, just my feelings for him. He asked me not to and to be there for him, though feelings or no, I'd be right there for him through hell and back, if need be. So I made up my mind, but hate to hurt Claude again...How shall I go about this...Ah I have no clue...probably Eh...I don't know...never do really...

Until Next Time,
~Lina

:;She smiles and shakes her head lightly, that being easily her most confusing entry to date::

--Journal entry 18 August, Lina Metallium

~~sits down finally, in the small room behind the tavern on the mainland. she glances around slowly, with red, swollen tired eyes. her stomach growling from hunger, but ignores it. not wanting anything. she sighs softly, weary of everything now. pulling out a piece of parchment, dipping the quill she begins to write.~

Dear Journal,

I am not used to living in a small dank place like this. But my leaving home without anything, just the clothes on my back, I have no choice. I did stay in the room Taeliesyn got for me, but they threw her out the other day. Iwould have stayed, but I did not have enough gold pieces to give, to let allow me to stay. As I wandered into a small tavern here, wanting to purchase something to eat. Realizing I only had enough gold piees for a piece of bread and cup of coffee. So I asked if there was any jobs available. That I could clean, wash dishes or cook. The owner was very kind to me. He is allow me to stay in the backroom. Generously giving me a few gold pieces a day. In return for her tending to the tavern's patron's. Preparing their meals, and cleaning up afterwards. The people here are not what I am used too. And they are definitely not my friends and family.

I was asked by an older man, the other day. If I was Alterio Carazzi Sr. daughter. I lied and said no. That I never heard of the man. And I refuse to even go to him for help. I have lost nothing there with him. And much to proud to ask. And I would not even take it, if he did offer it to me. I dispise the man so much.

I think alot of my friends, my family. I miss them all so much. And think of everyone often, when I cry myself to sleep at night. I would love to go and visit my neices, but I could not go there now. I am a mess. And I do not want them to see me this way.

~sighs, pausing as she redips her quill. listening to the patrons arguing in the main room. hoping they do not fight again tonight. she would love to get some sleep. not that sleep comes to her. and when it does, she wakes with nightmares. her thoughts always on Ben~

I wonder if Ben is happy now. I hope so. I think of him often. There is not a moment of my day, he is not on my mind. I miss him terribly. My heart aches for him. Especially when I wake at night, reaching out to him. Then realizing he is not there. It kills me.

But he deserves to be happy. And it was obvious, I could not make him happy. He deserves someone so much better than I. He is so wonderful, so kind and gentle. That is what I fell in love with. His soul. I know he might think otherwise, but I fell in love with his humor. His gentleness. Always asking if I was alright.

~sighs softly, feling the tears well up and sting her eyes~

I miss him so much it hurts .....

~lays the quill down, moving to the small cot and lays down. crying herself to sleep again~

--Journal entry 19 August, Alianna Carazzi

"she has the breakfast tray removed and helps him to get dressed, then lets the children in to spend some time with him, she goes over to the desk and sits down as she looks out the window at the sunshine, she sighs and picks up the quill as she finds a blank page... she thinks a moment then begins to write"

I havent written anything lately, being kinda busy with the children, the businesses and now with Alterio:: she glances over at him with the children:::

Are we all really happy here? On the Island, i mean. We have to fight constantly to keep our home. From the sharken,drought, and now the giants attacking us. "sighs shaking her head" And couples separating. They seem so happy one day and the next they are fighting and splitting up. Ali, is gone, back to the mainland. Her and Ben seemed so happy a few days ago. They argued and now she is gone. I dont really know what that was all about. Others also, gods ive lost track of them all. Alterio and I have had a lot of problems since we came here. We have managed to work them out so far. We are both to stubborn to leave. I love him and would never leave him. But i worry that one day, the stress will be to much and he will leave me. He is to hotheaded for his own good. It got him banished from the island, his home, and his family.

How many hours of sleep have i had since i came to this island? hmmm not many i can assure you. Whats keeping me going... I have NO idea.

"glances over at him and smiles seeing how good he is with the children".... now he is like a child himself. Since the giant attack the other night. A beam falling on him... I think my heart stopped when i saw that. I was so afraid he was dead and felt so helpless trying to move it and couldnt. I think Jane was as scared as i was but she managed to heal his back, once the beam was moved. He was left unconscious but finally came around but now cant talk and seems to not recognize anyone. I feel so helpless. All i can do is watch over him and make sure he doesn wander off alone.. And thank the gods for Paul. He is by his side almost constantly.

I havent slept.. and now so tired that i tie a rope to my wrist and to his at night in case I Fall asleep. That way If i fall asleep, and Alterio awakens and moves it will wake me up...I wont let him come to any harm by wandering off. If anything were to happen to him, I wouldnt want to live. I couldnt...I cant remember a time he wasnt in my life.

I need him and he needs me. "hears Marissa crying and lays down the quill and summoms for the children to be taken back downstairs...she calls Paul in to stay with Alterio while she gets dressed"

Thats all for now "she closes the journal"

--Journal entry 19 August, Vixen Blade

:: The salty air of the sea, he breaths in with abandon, a few cheap sailors, and even a few whores on the boat with him, as he sets sail, defeated, but invigorated for the mainland. ::

I don't know why, I'm doing this...I don't know why, it is so important. I just wish I knew, if Tael is alright. Well, this is my journal, so no means to lie, I want to know if Alianna, is alright. I've left Maester Lucas to try and find Trieze and hopefully I can find Alianna. I'll end this now, got some squalls to face.

:: The squalls are almost easily faced. Though it did throw the whores off the ship, and most of the cheap sailors. As the ship pulls into port, Claude is once more alone, conviently perhaps. ::

Ah, the mainland...I despise it..I detest it..But I must remember my purpose..But I truly have no purpose do I? Tiger, you made me think to hard...Now I must finish my story. I should check the taverns first.

:: He slips into one of the taverns, before walking past a small backroom. He swears he hears weeping but disregards it, as he enters to obtain a bite to eat::

--Journal entry 19 August, Claude Torrent

*looks around at the half-wrecked Pleasuredome, with the body of the last tender still warm on the rubble-strewn floor* Sitting in the middle of the 'dome, I wonder why I came here at all. The last place wasn't so bad, not really.. boring, yes, but not so bad. At least there, I didn't have to worry about being eaten by giants and sharken, or having buildings fall down on top of me, or being assaulted by lustful ridiculous male creatures.

I suppose the overwhelming drunkenness of the people here will prove very useful, though. I'll just have to wait and see, and survey a bit before I get back into business.

*closes the journal*

--Journal entry 19 August, Casidhe

:::::: He sits at his small cluttered desk once more waiting for his muse to strike. The words, they seem to come harder to him now. She knows. She knows his name. e signed his last poem to her. Was it too soon? It matters not for now.. she knows. He sits and thinks of all of the darkness that he has been through.. not been through... reveled in, cherished it's lonely embrace as it helped drive away the images of her... Rowsy. He sighs as a thought strikes him and begins writing once again in his ever-growing but never to be seen book of poetry. ::::::

I walk ...
My clothes in shambles,
my body ravaged and torn,
with deep cuts and bruises ...
I still walk ...
A shapeless figure follows me ...
Its cloak wraped in the darkeness ...
The shallow sound of its steps
echoing in the desolate landscape ...
where I walk...
The figure, the shadow,
prolongs its arms
reaching for my ankles,
draging me down ...
Swirl of pain follows,
and the figure lets out
a victorious laugh ...
Yet I get up and walk ...
The shadow uncovers its face ...
It is everything ...
the darkness ...
the reality ...
the fear ...
It is everything that stands
between us ...
And I continue to walk ...
I walk ...
The pain is unbearable,
but I still walk ...
for you are waiting for me
at the end of my jorney ...

:::::: Yes. She awaits him... at least he hope it is so. He knows all too well that his feelings may be unrequited and yet still he gives of himself freely. He knows also that his own fear of letting his love be fully known also stays his lips from speaking to her. Perhaps it is because of his... past experiences with love. Nae. Everyone has a past. He knows of Rowsy's love for a man named Claude. He has no ill feelings towards this man.. in fact in some ways he holds much envy for him for the love he has known. Once again his jumbled thoughts veritably force him to put quill to parchment and write... ::::::

An empty bed, a soul alone,
aching for the warmth,
that was taken long ago,
shattering his heart,
Longing for her warm embrace,
for intimacy unshared,
longing grieved his tender face,
in which his soul laid bare,
A mask of pain, a shielded heart,
are gifts she left behind,
emptiness became his part,
a lost love he tries to find,
Caught within this endless night,
the dawn so far away,
until his heart will cease the fight,
and move beyond today…
An aching heart will never cease,
it's lone, eternal quest,
it's waiting for that summer breeze,
to bring whispers from the past…

:::::: Yes... everyone has a past. The hard part is to move on from it. He has done so. His past is past. His only hope is that hers is as well. Perhaps she will decide to live in the now to forget about the past. It is what most do. But for him... the future is where his heart resides. It resides with the fair one.. Rowsy. Hmm.. he ponders... should I write to her once more? He chuckles lightly as he looks out his window to see his neighbor's rose garden woefully depleated. Still.. he must be clear on his intentions. Yes. This wil let her know exactly where he stands. Once again the best of parchments is layed flat and the ever-emptying golden ink is brought to bear upon his desk. Yes. This will make it clear. He writes... ::::::

Did you ever want someone so bad,
that you know you'd cry,
if you find out that they can't be had?
That's the sort of thing I'm going through,
with you,
and I dont know what to do.
I've run out of pretty lines,
that fit the situation that we're in,
but, if we'd only take the time,
to take a chance, we might find out where we begin.
The dream that I've held inside my heart,
for weeks now stand's before your eyes,
and I don't know what to say to make you see,
everything that you mean to me.
If I got down on my knee's,
and told you that my life is in your hand's,
would it help to ease the question in your mind,
and maybe make you understand?
I'll change my life for you,
even though you said you didn't want me to,
still the feeling's deep inside are to strong to be denied,

I'll carry them though, deep inside.
Just on the chance that I might look into your eye's,
to someday see my love reflected back at me,
if only you could be more,
than just a Fantasy to me....

~Lord of Masks~... he who loves you from afar yet longs just to be close...

:::::: Once more he waits for the ink to dry then rolls up his parchment and ties it with a thin yellow silken cord. He makes his way past the garden where another exquisite rose in bloom this time the most vibrant of amethyst, just happens to find it's way into his hand... strange. A small smile still plays upon his lips as he reaches the maiden's small cottage. Once again he is taken by the simple elegance that her domicile conveys. Yes. It just seems fitting that she should live there. This time he does not take a chance by staying for too long as it is early dusk and she could be about. He quickly raises the scroll to the door nd pins it there neatly, the purple rose appearing as if it is blooming from his letter itself. Slowly he raises his fingers up beneath his mask and kisses them softly before touching them lightly to her door and whispering, "Soon m'lady, very soon indeed, you shall know of the fullness and richness of my love for you... for you will see it in my loving gaze when finally we meet." And with that he turns and heads out as the moon climbs in the sky. He thinks to himself that instead of heading home, perhaps a walk on the beach will help sooth his soul. Ahh yes.. the beach. The beach calls to him, beckoning him. He cannot help but to heed it's sensuous song. ::::::

--Journal entry 19 August, Lord of Masks