Well, what a mistake that was. I have never in my life felt so alone in a crowd. My pathetic attempt to rejoin thesociety of this island only served to have me make a hasty exit, then find my way home through a blur of tears. What a fiasco.

:::She taps punishingly at her forehead with the idle end of her quill, then shakes her head slightly as she continues:::

It started well enough, I suppose. I stopped at the 'dome around lunchtime, then returned for dinner. And to think I had actually looked forward to it. ~sighs~ But I met someone new...Nestasia I think her name was. She seemed nice enough but, strangely, our short conversation seemed somewhat...strained somehow. Jane, of course, never acknowledged me at the best of times so I certainly didn't expect her to start now...she didn't. Vix is probably the only one there I ever really had a rapport with so it was nice to see her...and nicer still to see she hasn't changed. Lina, as always was very pleasant although, again, our brief exchange seemed a bit...awkward. I don't know...maybe it was my own discomfort that made me feel something that wasn't even there. No sign of the ever-present arrogant Alt. Ha! Despite his pomposity, which I normally can't stand in other people, I find him quite amusing. Likely because he knows he's that way and thrives on it. I wouldn't have expected more from him than a frosty hello in any case.

Anyway, I studied the menu, such as it is, for hours it seems, though I'm sure it was mere moments, unable to decide. I wasn't really hungry even though I had looked forward to a nice dinner. What possessed me to order the fruit plate is beyond me. Ye gods! I'm sick to death of fruit! I picked through it for the bits I liked well enough to stomach, not even tasting them as I choked them down. The brandy afterwards tasted much better.

:::She stops and gazes out the window for a moment, frowning, her face clouding over, eyes darkening and narrowing slightly:::

Then, just as I'm about to leave, I stopped to speak to Lina for a moment, only to be accosted by some brash young man. A bard, apparently...a relation of Claude's obviously, cousin or some such. In any case, he bore a striking resemblance to Claude and, though I had noticed him earlier in the vening, I suppose I hadn't been paying much attention. In any event, he proceeded to rail into me. The way he made it sound, I am responsible for the destruction of his entire family! Yes...that's me...destroyer of family empires...obliterating dynasties in my wake as I wreak havoc across the lands...single-handedly annihilating entire kingdoms! Bah! As if I wield such power. I was livid! Luckily, the place cleared out pretty quick and there weren't many people remaining to witness this scene.

I tried my best to maintain my composure as I argued with the man. My only consolation being that I think I managed to actually leave before anyone noticed my tears. That insolent bastard! What gives him the right to rest blame like that? Or to judge me? Or to hate me...for I could see the vindication flashing in his eyes.

:::She closes her eyes, running her hands through her hair as she takes a deep breath:::

Perhaps it's time to re-think leaving this place. Why do I stay anyway? The weather? No...I'm sick of it. Friends? I have none to speak of...mere acquaintances at best. Of course, that's my fault. My world here was always Claude. We were so self-absorbed, I never took the time to really get to know anyone else, let alone get close. So...I have no one...nothing to keep me here. Why, then, do I stay?

::::She looks off to the last note received, the purple rose beside it wilted somewhat from the length of time spent tucked behind her ear. She picks it up and inspects the somewhat flaccid petals, stroking them gently, their suppleness kissing her fingertips softly. She brings it to her nose and closes her eyes to inhale the sweet scent that still remains there, then drops the short stem to drink at the water in the crystal vase, uniting with the other roses gathered there. She reaches for the letter and reads it once more, her features softening, the corners of her mouth curling into a small smile::::

Bards...there seem to be more and more of them arriving on the isle. That's good. There was a man sitting in the shadows of the corner last eve and, although I couldn't see him very well, he appeared to be writing furiously. A bard, I suppose, though he could have been writing about anything really. I watched as Jane approached him and, although I couldn't hear their convesation, she was obviously making him somewhat uncomfortable...at least judging by the way he was shifting about. *giggles quietly* Poor man. He likely just wanted to be left alone. Bards are usually very guarded of their works until they're complete. He likely won't return to the 'dome anytime soon.

::::She chuckles to herself and glances to the letter, then snatches it up quickly and leans back in her seat as she inspects it for a moment before continuing::::

And you...Lord of Masks....do you do this on purpose? Taunt me with your words...beautiful words, flattering me to no end, proclaiming a muted love...only to leave me flat as you come and go silently.

Are you...Lord of Masks...the reason I even ventured out last eve? Gods know I was reluctant enough to leave the sanctity...no, the prison, that is my home. Heh...I would have been even more reluctant had I know what insanity awaited.

You...Lord of Masks...whoever you are...have my curiosity piqued. I need answers. I grow tired of this riddle that you are to me...haunting my days and nights. Yes...Lord of Masks...come find me for I shall not seek you out. Come find me so that I can destroy your world too...for it seems it's what I do best. Come find me...if you dare.

::::She laughs a bit once more, though not with mirth this time, and closes her journal, setting the letter down on top::::

--Journal entry 20 August, Rowsy Sinclair

:kneels quietly beside Lady Lina in the pleasure dome listning to Lady Vixen and Lady Jane and Lina speaking about how quiet it seems:

I have not written in my diary for some time I have been so busy with the animals seeming to find some new way to cause me trouble each day.. I promised Lady Mags I would care for the house and animals long before she was taken away and I shall continue to do such.

I worry so for my master and lady mags I miss them so much. I have seen Fierjen a few times since my master has been gone but as I have not been at the dome as much as usual due to these awful headaches I suffer as of late. I am sure it be only the stress of trying to keep up the shop as well as the house and the animals but they seem to come upon me so suddenly and nearly blind me with the pain.

I have tried all I know to try to ease the pain but to no avail I find myself sitting out on the bluff more often alone just gazing out to see. I hardly know what has been going on here on the isle I have heard there be giants about and saw the destruction at the dome after one of there attacks.

I pray they do not come to the house for I know not what I could do to help rebuild if need be. I still hear the noises sometimes at night as if some one be moving about outside the house tho when I look I find nothing.

I have not told Fierjen as I am sure it is probly just an animal of some kind tho I dont understand the lizard of Lady Mags seems not to sense anything tho he will quickly guard the door so to speak when I come home???

; sighs softly and closes the diary and looks about once more seeing it is still so quiet in the dome::

--Journal entry 20 August, Jasmin rose

..I can't say that I can keep up on this day to day- nor is it in any way possible for me to keep chronicles of all that goes on in a single moment.- There are too many interpretations, too many in betweens and side views, back streets and roundabout corners; so that if I were to attempt it, a hundred other people who might have witnessed the same event would proclaim this entire page of text erroneous. I can however pen out my feelings, my observations, I suppose that is the profession of the Bard summed up entirely- a sea of text following a quill.. It's funny that every place one travels to behaves in a manner of the same ways. First, there is the sense of awe, weather in horror or delight there can be variation. Second there is the feeling of fear, new things and new people, new ways and cultures and languages always always reinforce that sense of being an 'outsider' to the traveller. That same sense of newness can both instill curiosity of fear to the inhabitants of these place. Third there is the delight in the many happiness' that are found along the path through the place- friends and sights and goings on and miracles. There are almost always miracles.

In some places I have visisted the common miracles, the breath of magick and color, was the love between the patrons, other places it was hatred, still other places it was the sense of unity, or the common fascination and delight in one particular thing. - An example, our homeland, Eire, who's love and delight, fear and hatred was in the Mother Sea. - Of course not all places have all their fears and loves and fascinations in one place.. This place, to perhaps place it on a list - if one can..- the most common sense of unity and color comes from these people strength. It seems innumerable hardships have been wrecked upon them, so much death and pain and struggling, most of the woman have permanent stain of purple about them- anxiety, fear, worry. They all seem peaked and waiting for someone or something to happen to them..There is a tenderness among the men with the bairns, the tiny ones seem just at home in this 'Den of Sin' as it is called as the older ones do. That is strength.

I long to find someone who I might become close to, someone who's aura might not been stained and strained with worry and anxiety, someone who finds delight in life, someone who greets the sun and bathes in the light, who appreciates every moment of the day and all that surrounds them. I think, as all other paradise places, the people here do not realize how sweet their new home is, how very enlightening and clean and wonderful the sea is. However bad these hardships are, they can be looked at, always, from the point of view of what is built and mended after the struggle has be won.

There is very little song here, so many fighters as there always seemed to have been. That violence which so many thrive on, chills me to the bone. Ruthless, relentless, heartless slaughter- physically or mentally I cannot fathom the minds of these people. Now perhaps I am closed minded on this issue, perhaps I do not look from all angles..But they say the profession of a warrior is that holy and spiritual, founded on honor, founded by means of upholding dignity and pride and protection. Now I know many better means of fullfilling such duties than to fight them out.. And pride? dignity? bah! so many MANY lives have been losts, souls have been destroyed, hearts have been broken for that...I don't know what the point of this is in truth.

My feelings for the day.

Finally to conclude as I always do...three good things that have blessed me today and three bad.

Three Good Blessings..
1. I made many new friends
2. I woke at sunrise and watched the light paint the scape
3. I sang with the sea for the first time in too long..

Three Bad Blessings
1. I watched two people duel, watched blood spill and pain wrought
2. My necklace of crystalline has somehow disappeared in this inn..
3. It seems the dead bartender has returned to the living..

Thinking on those lists they are not the most eloquent, nor the most important. No matter I suppose..At least the hardest ones to think up were those Bad.

Fare thee well
And pleasant day..

Ara,
Of the Emerald Isle

--Journal entry 21 August, Arachne