::Waking up slowly, in a crumpled heap, he scowls as he finds himself stuck for a moment. When finally able to untangle himself, he rises and stretching, spine cracking, like a xylophone being strummed. He calls to Donk for his usual breakfast..a glass of rye. Using the washbasin, he freshens up, then goes to his desk to begin his mail. Finding Vixen's note, he decides not to even answer it. Did he end up dining with Nestasia. No. Why? Work called. As it always does. He finishes with correspondence and sets to writing in his book when breakfast is served::

I hope Qko does make me King; Kings have palaces and I'm sure the beds are bigger than that blasted chaise. When my back broke from the fallen beam, it felt less misaligned than it does now! Bah! I'll have the chaise wrapped and sent to Jane in case she wants it, she's always been fond of that particular piece. I'll take the floor, they say that's best for a back.

This is the first time in awhile I've woken up to quiet. And I'm not sure I like it. I can't hear the kids, and it was awfully strange to not have Vixen beside me in my sleep. But I can not and will not fight with her habitually anymore, and something tells me that Vixen didn't miss me much. Her letter says one thing, her actions another. I wonder if she met someone yet, to line up my replacement.

Bah, Mother was right. Should've picked ugly women, they would just be happy with whatever I chose to give them rather than continue to challenge me for more. But I've never had an ugly woman...::mulls:: Alright but that one dock whore didn't count. Her mustache rivaled Paul's..but when I say "had" in this situation, I mean had as a fixture in my life, a partner. ::Contemplates writing "an equal" but that's not his way.::

Paul's right. The less upheaval for the children, the better. Paul knows these things. Well, now it's a matter of waiting for Pryce to die. If Vixen wants to reconcile, she should show me that she'll behave. If she balks and shows her temper, then I'll be a King with no queen. I'm not very good on my own but I'll manage, I have in the past and would have to again. But a palace..and dubbing my children as Princes and Princesses..I'd like that very much.

::Putting his quill down in response to a loud crack of his neck, he curses and has the menacing chaise removed and carried to Jane in a wagon::

--Journal entry 1 September, Sir Alterio A. Carazzi II

~She stretches out on the chaise lounge that was brought to her earlier, her favourite piece of furniture, from its satin covering to the faint scent of something distinctly Alterio that clings to it. She composes a quick note to him~

~she folds it, planning to slide it under the door to him when she gets to the Pleasuredome. Now she opens her journal~

All at once. These things always come all at once. There's so much happening from the woman in the black silk pajamas to my ridiculous "love life" to changes I've noted in myself of late.

This woman that murdered Ezmeralda...I promised her I'd make sure justice was done, and that's what I intend to do, of course. My word is still my honour, my honour still my life. I don't plan to take up my own sword, however. That's not my way anymore. I've gone to the SSAG office...I hope they step up patrol as I requested. I'll have to remember to check the paper soon.

As for my ridiculous love-life...there's too much right now. It's making my head spin. Warlock is a wonderful man, hard-working, kind, fun, affectionate. However, sometimes I feel like he doesn't understand me, or that he looks down on certain aspects of my personality, like my fears, or how important it is for me be seen for me, and not anything else. I lose my temper so easily over such little things he says that strike nerves. What's wrong with me? I haven't seen him in a few days, and last night I spoke to Treize for a second time. Treize is a gifted bard, and he has that air of confidence, and deeply rooted, faceted mystery that has always sparked my interest. It's what first drew me to Alterio. But Treize is much different than Alterio. He is also much different than Warlock. He manages to make my skin tingle just by looking at me just so, and he makes his pursuit seem like an adventure. It's exciting, and very heady, and though I again worry I may forget myself and get too entangled in things, I can't back away just yet, and I agreed to dinner with him. I'm afraid now, though, that this decision may hurt Warlock. I tell myself I don't belong to anyone, though. I ought to be able to assess my options, see what's out there before I commit. But then there's Breuse, who, though I haven't seen him in weeks, still lingers in the back of my mind, making me hold off a bit. And again, before I do anything, I feel I have to talk to Alterio, but now isn't the time, so I'll be careful not to make any promises to anyone just yet.

I've changed a lot. Just reading over that last paragraph proves it. Last night was very odd. I've never really been the sort to keep a man on each arm, so to speak. I feel almost guilty for doing as much, but I can't fathom why. I'm doing nothing wrong. I've made commitments to no one. But maybe I'm just doing this because I feel I'm lacking a pursuit, a goal...a dream. I've been feeling like a coward lately, and this provides a certain amount of risk, and it starts my heart pounding, that feeling of adrenaline I've always savoured. But there's more...I do like these men, but I'll resent becoming a cliche "love story" if it comes to that.

On top of everything, there's an uneasy tension in the air, the sense of something building slowly to some tumultous climax. I don't like it. It makes my skin crawl, and I've taken to carrying sword and bow when I leave the house. I keep my dagger near when I sleep. I will not be inconsequential...

Jane Shayla Maichen

~she rises, leaving her study to go to the Pleasuredome on horseback, feeling safer atop her war-trained gelding, bow in hand, than walking alone~

--Journal entry 1 September, Jane Maichen

*She glances around the dome then begins to write.*

It has been a terrible day. I did not see Ardwin at all and I still feel terrible about leaving so suddenly that day. I hope he can understand. This ordeal with Sir Carazzi has caused so much trouble even the mad woman has noticed. What did I do by agreeing to that "date"? You can't even call it a date, just meeting. I didn't even go to this meeting yet it still seems to cause trouble. I won't say I am the cause of Vixen and Alterio's problems but I believe I have fanned the flames so to speak.

*She pauses and sips some of her wine, then glances over to Jane and Trieze*

I do wish I could be as happy as they are now...at least they look happy. Qko has made terrible accusations, saying I am fake, everyone hates me, and that I am just as bad as her. Jane says this is not true but does she truly know? No one knows how I feel or what I was thinking? No matter what I say or do I cannot prove that I am not what she says I am. I feel like a child compared to many of the patrons of the isle. I am an adult yet I receive help from those younger than I. What am I doing wrong?

*She stops again nodding to a man entering then begins to write again*

There have been worse things to happen today. Qko has threatened to kill Ardwin. I will not let her of course, she thinks this will torture me. It will be quite the opposite. I would welcome death if that happened....Ardwin is probably the only reason I am still here. Though I've told him otherwise, I will not crush him with my emotions because I am still so unsure of them myself. Before I fell in love with him, he was much more than a friend to me. A friend, a mentor, and mostly likely the most patient man in the world. I believe anyone who can actually listens to my pitiful complaints about love and happiness has to be very patient. I was so self-centered then, I thought only of my happiness and my problems I never took into account his pain. Of course, I helped him everyone once in a while...but I'm sure there were so many things on his mind that I could not help him with. I will try to make it up to him now if I can. I pray that he will not be harmed, if her lie proves true then I will attempt kill her myself...even if I must die trying.

*She sighs and puts away the journal.*

--Journal entry 1 September, Nestasia

"she cringes biting her lip as she gets off the bed, in her room at the manor, that she isnt use to sleeping in...she looks at her wounds she received last night, one being from her own weapon, she curses herself for being stupid and not thinking "

"she changes the bandages and then looks out the window at the sunrise as she sits down at the desk and finds a blank page, she picks up the quill and begins to write"

How could i have been so careless? I thought i was gonna die last night. I threw my claymore to hit the dwarf, knocking him down, and instead of retriving it ....I then throw my dagger!! In a split second i see it coming back at me and i couldnt duck out of its way. I earned that wound from my being stupid. Just wasnt thinking and to leave my claymore in the hands of the enemy. Thats just crazy. But when that dwarf pointed at me and said I was going to die, i just stood there feeling nothing. All this stress and aggravation, from the fighting and bickering with Alterio, has made me careless. My carelessness could have killed me last night and damn near did.

"sighs shaking her head as she glances around the strange room"

I managed to make it home and dress these cursed wounds. Tried to sleep for a while, but only laid there starring at the ceiling. I havent slept in this room since the first night I moved into the manor. I cant sleep unless Alterio is beside me now.

What more does he want? I wrote him two letters and he hasnt answered either one. I apologized for losing my temper. And he knows i say things when I'm angry...things i dont mean. Anything to lash out at him. Find another man..Bah... what the hell for? He knows I dont want anyone else. I never have and any relationships ive had in the past should prove that. They never lasted long.. those guys werent the one i wanted to be with. I love Alterio and i thought he knew that. I always have since the first time i saw him. Why would I stay here and put up with all this, If i didnt love him?

I dont want to fight with him any more. Paul is right, the children are the ones being hurt. Right now they dont have a mother or a father. We are both to stupid and stubborn. And we are both wrong. Where do we go from here?

I need him, he needs me and the children need BOTH of us. Its up to you, Alterio... what do we do?

"she sighs as she hears Marissa and lays the quill down and pushes herself off the chair to go check on her"

--Journal entry 2 September, Vixen Blade

~wakes in the 'dome, stretching. glancing around for a moment as she wakes up, she smiles to Donk. saying good morning, as she picks up the journal and lays it on her lap. balances the ink jar on the other knee, sh begins to write~

Dear Journal,

Everyone seems to be mad at each other. I came into the 'dome for just a little bit yesterday, and Miss Vixen was upset. I had heard that she and my brother were arguing again. I wish they could work it all out. Life is too short to fight. People leave your life in a matter of minutes. Be it by death or other means.

And when they leave, you are left with an empty hole in your heart. Wishing they were back again, so you could be happy once more. I hope the two of them can work things out, be happy once more.

~sighs softly, watching Donk for a moment before she begins to write again~

I wander the beach during my days, when I am not working myself to death in my shops. I have hardly seen anyone except Tiger and Donk lately. I miss everyone, but I think this time away is helping me to grow.

I now realize, there was no "Ali is to blame, Or Ben is to blame" It was both our faults. We were trying so hard, and in that we lost sight of what we really needed to do. I miss him still. And love him with all my heart. But I know now, trying to solve things, make things better will not work. We are better meant to be friends.

I think once Ben and I got together, I was still not ready. I had not dealt with the way Alex Left. Or how I constantly have to have ALerio's approval. So I entered into the marriage with Ben, very insecure. And that was not fair at all for either of us.

So this time alone, this is helping me to grow. To deal with my insecurities. I know now I am not to blame for everything. My love does not cause hurt or pain. hat I can not help hw others act and feel. I can not change them, to just love myself. Be the best that I can be, and be proud of myself for what I have accomplished. Then maybe something good will happen in my life.

~nods at that last sentence she wrote, re-dipping her quill and starts again~

I have not heard anything from Claude, since his last scroll. I hope everything is alright for him.

He is a very sweet soul, and would love to talk to him more. Maybe once I start getting back into the swing of things again, we will run into each other. I would like that.

~smiles, setting her quill aide as Donk comes over with breakfast. she thanks him profusely, and begins to eat. her appetite coming back, the dark circles no longer there around her eyes. she is starting to become the strong woman, her mother would be so proud of. someone she herself is very proud of~

--Journal entry 2 September, Alianna Carazzi