This second night on the island was much more eventful than the first. I started the night off with a duel, which was most interesting. I am always up for a good fight, and I recieved one this eve with a man whom later I found to be very endearing. We have hit it off, if you can believe that, and have formed a romantic bond. :::pauses, thinking of the events that have passed these past hours::: I have met many people on my journies but never anyone who makes me feel as comfortable as he does. I could feel others staring at us tonight, and while that usually bothers me, it did not in this instance. I am anxious to see how this plays out. Maybe I have finally found the place I belong.

--Journal entry 27 September, Adriana

::Opens her journal begins to write, so many things happening lately, she knows not where to begin. She sighs softly then glances up offeing a nod to a few who just walked into the pleasuredome::

Ah my world has literally turned upside down. I don't even know where to begin...Well I came back after resting at home for a few days to find out Vixen and Lyrias got married. And as soon as they were able to get a divorce, they were married again...to imps. So sad, I feel sorry for the two...really I do.

Ben has become distant, pushing people away, well me. I suppose he never was fond of our friendship, what there was of one. I confronted him about it, and well he was so very horrible. I came in as a concerned friend...And it turned into him telling me he doesn't love me and never will. Bah! Who needs him anyway! He has his head so....nevermind...I won't go into that. Ah well...there's one friendship lost...not like I have many real friendship to spare. Ah, was probably just using me for...something or another...cmfort after Ali? Maybe... Hmmm...spent alot of time wasted on that friendship too...and perhaps my life on one or two occasions...

Well, after that lovely conversation, I seemed to get into an argument every time I turned around. I truly didn't mean to be defensive to anyone, but what happened with Ben seemed to put me in a rather foul mood. So I had a horrible night, when it should have been a good one. Dan and Mags are back. It was great to see them both again, though I wish I could have been in a better mood and greeted them how they should have been.

:;She notices voices being lowered, the only conversation in the 'dome, as she is writing and not really paying any attention. She takes her things and resumes writng outside::

Jasmin is so happy, and for that I am truly glad. She missed her master so much. As did we all...atleast most of us.

::She bites her lip pondering words that echo in her mind from a few weeks ago::

Well I'll be...hmm...Alterio is wiser than people give him credit for. It might not have been bodily injury, but Ben did stab me in the back, those words, his indiffrence last eve, cut through my soul like the sharpest blade.

That is just what happens when you actually open yourself up to people. Well, I got over the bastard once, I can do it again. Especially with him treating me the way he seems to be today, after that....disscusion. So sad, such a wonderful friendship gone to waste. Ah well...I still have myself and my other friends, if they are even truly friends. And now I shall end this, it already having run too long.

--Journal entry 28 September, Lina Metallium

:::sighs returning home from what started out as a pleasant visit at the dome to a hurtful event, dragging out her journal, ink and quill, and begins to pen her entry of the moment:::

I dont know what happened. Ben and I got so cross at the dome. I mentioned Taelie and he just sort of went off. I understand he was trying to watch out for me, like any brother would, but, damn...did he have to be so hurtful? He makes it sound like Im just wasting my life away. Like Im too stupid to realize when I need to let go. Gods. He tells me Im so much like my Uncle Alterio. I dont think I am. I love my Uncle, yes, that hasnt changed...but, we are indeed two very different people.

:::sighs and thinks back to last night:::

Zy found out who her real father is...I was surprised. Her Father is the one man I had relations with before coming to the Isle. He acts as though he still wants to be with me...but, I told him about Taelie. It didnt seem to bother him...it does me. *sighs*

Ben makes him sound like such a lost cause...and he didnt even seem to care that his words sounded harsh and were very hurtful. I think for a while Im just going to keep away from him. I dont want to argue with Ben...I hate arguing with him. I love him...but, Im not going to put myself into the position of being hurt when I talk to him.

~Lyrias~

:::moves out onto the porch of her tree-cabin, hot, silent tears running down her cheeks, surprised she held them long enough to make it home. After running her hand through her long hair, she stands and makes her way back inside::::

--Journal entry 28 September, Lyrias Dreams

::Back at the Villa, he opens his journal behind a desk, pulling out a new quill and dipping it, then puts it to parchment.::

This day has been long...as have most as of late. A lot of work, a lot of time to spare with nothing to do -but- work, and a lot of thinking, about things I wish not to think of.

It's odd..how those who profess to be true friends can know so little about me. I've started isolating myself...the first step in becoming a hermit. I don't want to see anybody, I don't want to look at anybody, I don't want to speak to anybody. The whole thing just seems a waste. I've got friends whose minds change every few minutes, who turn their backs on me when I do something questionable...it's stopping. Now.

I don't need those friends..I'm so very tired, so very sick, of people being too damned stupid to realize.

I'm all alone now...but that's the way it should be. I'm sick of Alterio having me hunted down, issuing death threats, acting the way he is...I'm sick of Vixen being her normal, stupid-arsed self, following Alterio like a puppy, blindly. I'm sick of Mumphra screwing with me...and the rest on the isle.

I'm sick of people needing me...because I'm a rock. I'm a statue. I don't need anybody. Ben, eat? No, he doesn't eat. He doesn't sleep, he doesn't hurt, or feel, or cry.

Ben's invulnerable, go to him with your problems. He can always help everybody.

I really don't care about anybody anymore. If my "friends" want to have me killed, want to have me thrown in Wonderland or Prison...I welcome death. Why should I bow to everybody else's requests? There's no reason...none.

::He redips his quill::

So, then, Journal...looks as if we shall be spending quite a bit of time together. I don't need people...these "Friends" and "Family" of mine...bah. I had very few true friends....Jane and Casidhe, really...

I pray to Bahyrah Lyrias can see why I do things the way I do them...but as I said... Nobody understands me, nobody -really- knows me. If I wasn't sure suicide was morally reprehensible, I'd already be dead upon this very floor by my own hand.

I'm sick and tired of being hurt, sick and tired of being sick and tired. No more...the Citizens can get by on their own. I'll have a messenger to get supplies once a week, and stay holed up here.

I don't need them. I don't want them. Why in all hell would I ever return to any of them?

I'm a murderer.
I'm a cold-blooded killer.
I'm heartless, soulless.
I'm one hell of a sick bastard.

Bah. Bah to all those who called them my "Friends." It's just a formality to have "Friends" until they do you no good any longer...then I am cast aside. No more. The hour grows late...and my will to live sloughs off.

I sleep now...and when I awake, I will remain awake until I wish to die...then I shall sleep. This is the way things have been for quite some time...and will be for quite a while longer.

Bahyrah save my soul.

::He leaves the journal open, sets the quill off to the side, and bows his head to his chest. He prays to Bahyrah for a quick, painless death, soon, then he falls asleep right there, a restless sleep plagued with nightmares, but as it's the norm, he barely even reacts, or notices. He finds now no need for a bed, for warmth, only needing the rest occasionally. Eventually, servants make their rounds and snuff out the torches, lined along the wall in sconces, and leave him be.::

--Journal entry 28 September, Ben Calkane

Lets see where to begin..."thinks back over the last week" hmm Its been a strange week to say the least. Married twice in just a couple days. A joke that ended up with me and Lyrias married to each other one night. The next night we were divorced but both of us ended up married to Imps. Cant get stranger than that...Ah yes and Alterio renewed my application to still be his mistress. So what now ?

Rumor is im pregnant by Imp...I dont hardly think so. Im not even sure that would be possible.

Lyrias tried to divorce her Imp. But come to find out the priestress cant do that. I havent tried to divorce my Imp yet. I still love Alterio but seems like we only get along when we dont get along? Does that even make sense? God I miss living at the manor. But i cant go back unless he wants me to. So far he hasnt bothered to suggest it. I know he cares about me but he has a funny way of showing it some times.

I just want to go home. To the manor..

"glances around the empty dome and sighs as she closes the journal and goes to the kitchen to get some fruit"

--Journal entry 29 September, Vixen Blade

:::Sighs as she sits down, opening her journal to a new page. She massages her temples gently, wishing she had never ordered that tequilla tonight::: Tonight was most strange. I was not able to go to the dome until late, fearing I may miss Neo this night. He was there, as I had hoped he would be. I fear I may have angered him tonight. Unfortunately I became a bit drunk. I did not mean to, I only wished to try a different drink. Ah well, I suppose I shall have to make it up to him.

I wish could open up to him more. I am so used to not showing my feelings, or voicing my thoughts, that although I feel so close to him, I am unable to share with him. I -know- this is something I must get over. I cannot having him think I do not want him around. The only thing I can think to do when he is around is to touch his hand or perhaps lean on his shoulder, to let him know I enjoy being with him. When it comes to words, I can think of few. Because of this, I feel that people are watching us, wondering how we could have become so close so fast. How can I explain to them how safe he makes me feel, when I can hardly explain it to myself?

:::She pauses, thinking, then takes up her pen once more:::: I have made a friend. Her name is Lina. I don't really know what possesed me to strike up a conversation with her. I am so very glad I did, I feel that she will be a good friend to me in the days to come. During our conversation, a half Mer man entered the dome! I must say I have never seen one before, but this one was quite handsome. Lina embarassed me terribly. :::She pauses once more, pressing her hands to her cheeks, remembering what has taken place not too long ago::: Oh, I cannot even write it. Suffice it to say, the Mer man (Jodah was his name) now probably thinks I am some lovesick little girl.

:::She closes her journal, too upset to write more. Her face still burning over the incident with Lina and Jodah:::

--Journal entry 30 September, Adriana

~she sits at her desk in her study, feeling that now-familiar quake of anxiety stirring in the pit ofher stomach. She's been sick at least twice a day of late. The stress, the guilt, the fear...all of it. She's not so tired, not since Aidan stayed with her and she was able to sleep a little. She still looks terrible. She picks up her quill to write~

I'm not crazy. I never was. They still think I am. Vixen especially. I can't take that. They just don't understand.

They didn't see what I saw. They didn't hear what I heard. I was so confused. Ben believed me. Ben knows...I trust him, he's a good man, and I hope he's well. Maybe I should go see him. He hasn't been about lately and I worry. Casidhe knows, too. She would never turn a judgemental eye on me, I don't think.

Aidan knows how I'm feeling. He truly understands. But is he safe? Lia said something...saw something in her cards. Is Aidan really doomed? Another to lose, then. Another to fight for, then lose. Do I have the strength to fight? No, not just now. I'm weak. What's happening to me? I don't feel Wesley anymore...

I'll have help with the shop. Someone to aid me with the herbs. Lia seems genuine. She's come to stay awhile. Perhaps if I concentrate on my business and Aidan, things will be okay again. Maybe we should just marry and be normal. Stability. I wish I had stability.

Mumphra makes this all impossible. What can I do? He wants Mai back...but what of what happened some few nights back? Three? Four? I can't recall. He's plagued me with nightmarish thoughts. Please forgive me, Mairin. I never meant it. Will he help us now? Alterio won't speak of it. He still turns from me. Mumphra said to beware Ben, Lina, Vixen, and Nestasia. They are untrue. Ben? Untrue?

My head hurts. I can't think. Who do I believe? I know I can't believe myself. Not anymore. Not since I trusted and Mairin fell. I just want her back. I just want Mumphra away from me. I don't want him in my head. I want to stop crying.

Treyman despises me. This weak, gibbering thing I am. He says I should listen to Alterio. Be good to him. Join him and Mumphra. Says I'm a disgrace...I killed a child. Father's face no longer comforts me. I cannot bare to look at his portrait. He scorns me. I shut him away in a spare bedroom. I can still feel his eyes on my back. When will I be free?

Jane

~she pushes away from her desk and draws the curtains closed, curling up on the chaise lounge, and squeezing her eyes shut, trying to shut out the images of Mairin's severed head, of Wesley's dead eyes, her father's scornful gaze, the sound of Riena's screams, Mairin's accusing voice...all which reduce her to soundless tears once more~

--Journal entry 30 September, Jane Maichen