Lies. All of it lies.

The cleric promised me, I would find peace without the sword. He promised, God would embrace me. He promised, all would be fine, without the blade, and the pure rush it would bring me. He lied.

As I stood upon this remodeled guildhouse, done by my own hand. Looking to my failed creation, I look to the window, seeing the hatred brewing, the war. I miss the comfort of love, of Rowsy...Of anyone. What can I do, other than find safety in this solitude? I cannot let myself known. But Sophia's son....he was nearly killed last night. Scraping by only by a healers intuition and skill. Treize...I knew you would get in trouble some how. But its to late, you have emerged yourself in something foolish...Emerged yourself in this war...As will I. Though I must not let the people know it. I must don the mask. With no further recourse I must don the mask. I will attack, in secret, and I will track down, this assasin. I will play, her game...I will play this game, I will don the mask.

:: he reaches into a drawer drawing out a white mask, covering all the face except the mouth. His long tendrils come from the helmet, his clothes all blue, a dark blue. His old trenchcoat made by Vixen herself, he draws around his tunic and trousers, after putting his silver chainmail over his tunic. He steps out the guildhouse, near the hour of 10, immediately making his way into the shadows. ::

--Journal Entry 4 September, Claude Torrent

*She paces back and forth across the room, unable to sleep. Cut off from the social world by her own choice has been more than she can bear. With only the occasional company of a few wild animals and her journal. Seeing the book lying on the desk, she decides to write, it seeming to be the only thing allowing her to sleep at night*

How could I do it? I sent that letter to him. I wonder if he even received it. I was not there to give it to him and I've no idea if either of the two men did. Why am I doing this again? To keep everyone happy, but that has not kept me here. Confusion has kept me here. It is why I stay here, cut off away from everyone else to discover more about myself. Does this mean I'm being self-centered again? No, I don't believe so. This is for everyone...even for Ardwin though he may not understand, or he might. I do not give him as much credit as I should. After all, the man did council me through the ordeal with Claude and he listened to all my problems without one complaint though I know there must have been many. If anyone understands why I'm doing this, it will be him. This will also give Vixen and Alterio a chance to mend anything problems that I caused...if its not too late already. So what have I accomplished in this one day I've been gone?

*She paused and looked around the small room, barely suitable to support a single person. Not one thing in the room belonged to her, except the clothes on her back, her weapons and the pack she carried with her which held her journal and writing materials.*

I've discovered that I am truly nothing of myself. I must rediscover the person I left long ago, near six years ago now. That young frightened child, who was innocent in every way. Believing all people were good inside no matter how they appeared on the outside, this is what hurt her. Nestasia DeBayonne... I promised to never use that name again. What I have become now would only disgrace the name of my mother's adoptive daughter. Instead I have now become Nestasia De La Monde. I've traveled the world in search of my true home which I have yet to find....now I've decided to give up my childhood fantasy. It is partially complete. I was in search of others like me...and I have found them. I've learned that we all do not come from just one place but we are scattered around the world to end up here...Crystal Shores. Perhaps this was meant to be my home all along. I just never knew it until now. That is all I shall learn from today, and what I have learned is that I am home. Though none of this is mine, I shall make it mine.

I shall earn my right to live here, and I shall become honest and caring once again. I shall also treasure what bit of innocence I have left. Now I can sleep.

*She smiles a bit and leaves the journal open.

--Journal Entry 4 September, Nestasia

How many innocent people is Jane willing to see die? She is willing to turn the Island into a warzone by her false accusations and unfounded suspicions. No proof that Alterio did anything but yet she persists. How many are fool enough to follow a naive little girl? She isnt doing this to get Qko.. she is doing it to get Alterio. All because of a petty grudge. How will she live with the blood on her hands of the innocent that will die? And many will if this persists. She doesnt care if Alterio is innocent. In her mind he is guilty and tried already.

Well im finding that not all are fool enough to fall for her suspicions. But the ones that are... arent asking for proof of his guilt. They want to see bloodshed and they wont be disappointed. How many will have to die before this stops?

Jane demands Justice... justice for what? It has nothing to do with murder or conspiracy. It has to do with the past. Her past and her failures with Alterio.

After all these months of hostility towards him.. Im not the only one that noticed how quick she was to go to his office to help him unpack his clothes the day he moved from the manor. Actions speak much louder than words. Wake up Jane.. you arent fooling everyone.

--Journal Entry 5 September, Vixen Blade

Here I lie, in the throws of this evil illness that has vexed my head and chest.

Sleep has only caught me while I lay in the throws of this bothersome sickness that does wrack me, and I am thankful that while it be restless sleep, 'tis sleep without nightmares. A cruel tradeoff, to be sure.

Life around the Pleasuredome has maintained it's high priced, fast paced calling. Darionus improves in strength, as do the band between some of the citizens that have decided enough death and turmoil has occurred. I am interested to see where that leads. My friend's death might be avenged before I might have to break a oath to retrieve such vengeance myself. I can only hope.

Jasmin was tormented a bit last night, but is none the worse for wear. She would be able to deal with so much more if she could set a reign on her temper. Perhaps it is time I teach her some of my meditative techniques. The Lords of the Shield and the Blade know, I've put them to far too much good use of late. She is my heart, and I shall forever love her, despite whatever temperature her temper reaches.

And to speak of love, I am happy to write that my friend Darionus, slow on his road to improvement, has found his own heart within his kinfolk, Lilith. I hope he and Lady Zyllah can come to some accord, but I fear her feelings for him will clash horribly with Lilith. I can only hope that Darionus' say in the matter has some sort of prevalence, or it might be a fight even I would be loath to be involved in.

I find my thoughts wandering to Sethin, and Ezmeralda frequently. I've lived my life back home with almost daily news of the passing of friends and relatives, but the deaths of these two comrades strikes me differently.

Perhaps it was my failure to realize that anyone can die at any time, even in a place like Crystal Shores that left my heart vulnerable. I shall do better to remember the teachings from home. They have served me well, and have only failed me when I have forgotten then.

--Journal Entry 5 September, Fierjen Dancing-Bear

*Lilith picks up her quill and begins to write*

A Miracle last night! Amidst all the hate, evil and mistrust two tiny miracles entered the world. In the wee hours of the morn, Lady Avalda bore twin babes. She hid her condition well. Perhaps because I have heard not one word about the father. I worry for her, the babes. How will she care for them by herself? Perhaps Dragon will stay by her side.

Amidst the joy last night, unhappiness found a way to creep in. Somehow, one of the back offices caught fire. It was quickly put out by Trieze. He found a small pin, assoicated with the Black Pearl Clan and feels the Qko is behind the fire. This does not sit right with me. Qko is no ammature. She would not be so careless as to leave behind evidence. This worries me greatly. The webs of Qko spin further and further amid this once peaceful island.

*reflects on the events of last eve a bit and grins*

Darionus. Just the thought of his name makes me feel as if I am basking in the warmth of the sun. He has professed his love for me, in word and deed. My first kiss was from his lips and should I be fortuante enough in my life, then the last kiss I have, before I close my eyes for an eternal slumber, shall be from his lips, also. I feel badly for Zyllah. I do not intrude when she wishes to have words with him, but I can not, nah, will not set aside my love for him. We spoke at length last night, after Zyllah did be so bold as to kiss him. He has assured me that I hold his heart, so I will not fear whenever Zyllah is around. Dari spoke words to me that will forever live in my heart. When I asked him about his memory loss he told me that if he had to choose of all memories, past, presrnt and future... he'd surely chose the ones with me.

*Lilith sighs contently, lays down her quill,sits back in her chair with her eyes closed, a smile on her lips*

--Journal Entry 5 September, Lilith

~she sits, looking somewhat more at rest, her thoughts carefully catalogued, notes taken, memorized, destroyed. She tugs a hand through her hair, freshly washed and soap-scented. She picks up her quill, dipping it in ink, to write~

And so here we are. These things came to heated argument betwen Vixen and myself last night. I'm so frustrated at this entire situation. She misunderstands, and believes this to be about jealousy. All through my life, I've never carried malicious jealousy, It's not my way. But there's no point trying to convince her of otherwise. I mean her no harm, nor her children. No arms will be raised unless such is forced to occur. Violence is a last resort, and always has been. Wesley's hand guides me to that even now. Vixen, I fear, cannot see what is unfolding. Or maybe she does, but because she's so in love with Alterio, she follows him, blindly or not, being led by his lies, or perhaps accepting his quite possibly traitorous part in this. I was led once, too, but no more.

But Alterio shall be set aside for now, carefully watched. We've bigger matters to attend to, and the wheel's already rolling. The time for immunity is over. But softly...it's too much for me to do.

Father, I strive to make the Maichen name noble in all its glory again. Wesley, my thanks for your whispered confidence in the night.

The Honourable Lady Jane Shayla Maichen

~she closes the journal, and rises, tugging on white shirt and breeches, and a black tunic. She leaves her home and goes to the Pleasuredome to speak with whom she shall speak~

--Journal Entry, 5 September, Jane Maichen

Well, I have returned from my sojourn on the mainland...and without Taelie. I am sure he will return of his own accord when his matters are well at hand. It seems from general chatter things do not look well for Uncle Alterio and Vixxy. Perhaps one day the two will get it together or just let it go.

I have missed the children greatly, I would love to see Lia, Mia and Alkane again soon. I hope Lia has been well since I have been away. I dont think things look terribly too bright for her right now after Torlin's death, if she even knows. I hope to be there for her when she finds out if she doesnt already know.**wonders if the nightmares still plague the child**

Anyway, there is alot to be done at the cabin now that I have been gone for so long. Perhaps now I will get things accomplished there and have it all under control once again.

I am distressed to hear of Mags and Dan's disappearance. And, worried over Ali's return to the mainland...I hope she is doing well.

I suppose that is all my tired brain can muster for now...so Ill end this prattle and get to it.

--Journal Entry 5 September, Lyrias Dreams