This new place is very beautiful. Rolling valleys, breathtaking beaches, almost too good to be true. I have wandered around during most of my time here and it has the feeling of a good home. I miss my old home, but leaving was for the better, everything was so chaotic over there.

I found a small building down this path I took today. The locals called it the 'Pleasuredome'. The people here are a slight odd, but no one ever accused me of being normal either. No one really talked to me when I was there, but I suppose that was for the better. I can't wait to fit in with everyone here, though, they all seem like splendid people. Maybe except for this man named Mumphra I heard of...he seems unpleasant. I hope I don't have to meet him.

I explored the rest of Crystal Shores today. This whole place is simply breathtaking. I ran into another building called the Terrordome, but I decided not to go in, I did not feel like battle today. I went to the Pleasuredome again, and saw some new people. Still haven't met anyone yet, though. Funny, I used to be so outgoing before...guess this place has me speechless.

Today I finally met someone at the Pleasuredome. She was named Jane. She seemed nice enough, and I conversated with her for a short while. Also, there was a gambling thing going on that was being quite loud. The people that ran it were odd, as well. A midget that tried fornicating this woman's leg, and some imps who really smelled. They seemed all right...just disturbing.

It seems I have learned to weave magic in this place now. For some reason magic works a bit differently here, but I have the hang of it. Went to the Pleasuredome again, but no one was there.

--Journal Entry, 13 October, Valyndor Lyndrae

*Ara sits in quiet confusion looking at the journal that is splayed across her bedroll in the grove not far from the dome...carefully she produces one small square of velum and regards Alterio's invitation with a squint of self concsiousness and embarassment..She sits up after a late night indeed, having watched Sir Benjamin very nearly try to diffuse his anger in blows across the face of a nice-enough looking young woman whose name she's yet to acquire...Frowning she thinks on Sylver and brushes at her hair putting a trembling quill to paper with a long sigh..*

I should think, in two suns, that a great number of things might happen, but none nearly enough to fill with emotions and expressions as I've seen...these endless eyes...

I found m'heart again, and I can't remember the last time I ached so in not being in his arms as I do. How long nights can seem when y'are alone and know it could be another way...So I sat up thoughtfully in the woods all day and when I came to gather my things found an invitation for Sir Carazzi for dinner, and something vague and far off and most definitely tainted in a lust so strong and sweet as to smell of wine and those balmy nights of June...More embarased and taken back than anything. I know the explanation is that he is single again, confused and so hurt by the loss of his daughter..Every time he enters the room the pain that circulates behind his eyes and between his ears and so sharply in his heart sears me to the point of near-crying...He reacted most unhappily to the look of sympathy I shot him, and I should have known better...And it's not that I don't treasure Vix for I do, but only that he does ache so for the arms of a woman and he's not found the one who best suits him...Of course there's not question as to that woman being me, of course it can't. Alterio doesn't like me at all, were he still married his eyes wouldn't stray, the invitation sent only because I'm slightly new to these parts, and I'm the only one he's not tried. Perhaps a polite gesture, were I to think so ideally. Not one to leap to criticism, not this lass...I'm not sure how to go about turning him down, I shouldn't want to add to his pain, but at the same time I'm not easily won, look at the time of it Sylver had...*and her eyes go distant and glimmering at the mention of his name..* We are betrothed and there isn't a being anywhere that would take me from the path that leads to him, always. I should like to know that there is a lass somewhere about this parts, who might take Alterio into her arms and smooth his tresses, and kiss his forehead, and rock him to sleep. And not the kind of sleep he has with everyone either, the kind of sleep where the soul has rested after having wandered for so many starless nights. The kind he cannot find. I'm rather glad this to be a private journal, I shouldn't like Sylver to read it and think my feelings are with Alterio when they aren't indeed, but rahter that I should feel a good deal better knowing there is a soft heart who can take him in without the bias of these fiery women, who could care and be cared for...Though I doubt it to happen, and I amna the one he seeks.

On a different note and one not nearly as long but rather twice as pressing...I do ache for Sylver and miss him. It's been barely a sun and I feel myself melting into sleep and hoping to reform somewhere close and warm against him. He is, as I remember, a beautiful sleeper. That sleep we seek and find. *she blushes gently adding for the benefit of herself:* the resting sort of sleep. He is unlike anyone I've ever known. To wake wound in the arms of one you fall into dreams with, still warm and safe and not worried of being left or used or overlooked. I shouldn't think many lasses have that, nor that there are men enough in the world who can sleep as my heart sleeps. And I love him, I do ache in loving him so. My Sylver. My muse and my voice and my love...

This grows
and the hour is late...

Ara

*resting the quill down she looks exhausted and sighs feeling light-headed from the thoughts of Sylver that make her pulse race and the heat run into her eyes and hurries to bed, overcome in drowsiness..*

--Journal Entry, 14 October, Arachne

Date: 10/14/01 01:34:33 AM Name: Anonymous Email: Subject: LCC's Journal Entry #1 My dearest journal, Oh, what a long and rough journey it has been to get to this strange new place. The ship ride was so long and tedious, with absolutely no accomidations for a lady. I was ever so glad to arrive on land. I have no idea if i shall find Anastasia or not, the rumors, the bards stories, they all point here, but one can never be sure of how much weight one can put in those bards. Their tounges wag for a mere token nowadays. My first few hours were spent finding sutiable accomadations, which suprizingly i found rather quickly, mind you they are not like home, however they shall do for my purposes. I then came apon this place, this establishment of sorts, I noticed several of what i assume to be the locals here, and although a newcommer, i felt rather comfortable at once. They are a strange lot, some of them, however generally nice, and mannored. This is day four of my stay in this strange world, seems rather strange, or mayhap i feel strange because i cant use my abilities here as i could from whence i travled from, I feel a bit lost without them, sure a minor spell here and there, when i am away from this establishment, or out of doors, but tis only parlor tricks, and nothing that could defend me if i needed it. More like, spells for convience sake. I have been looking twice at everyone i meet, in hopes that Anna will suddenly appear from no where, however thus has nae happened yet. I grow quite stressed from this, and fear i am beginning to show beyond my years. This evening was quite different however, from the normal mundane existance i have. Many came into the establishment, speaking of fighting, as if they had all just come from some sort of duel!! I spoke with one rather nice gentleman by the name of Benjamin Calkane. I must say his mannors are impeccable, tis as if he was bread in nobility. I rather enjoyed our conversation this eve, and would enjoy his company in the future. However, something rather disturbed me, a fight he and the Lady Mags had, this lady, her and i have a strange relationship, i do believe we love to argue with each other, some days i find her appalling, others, like this eve, i believe there is hope for her yet... Anyway, Benjamin and Mags were arguing this eve, over what, i could nae make out, as tis really none of my business, however Benjamin was calling her quite some rude names, and she seemed to take it all in stride, and was trying to help him out of some sort of depression, perhaps, seems she once was good friends with him, and for some reason, he no longer wishes to be that friend. I know not why, again as it tis not really of my concern, but it was rather odd. M'lord Halfdan is another individual i have met here, and he seems to be a gentleman as well, although he does have a slave!! Yes a slave, which i find quite odd, as we have no such thing at home. However this slave. jasmin...she seems well cared for, and is rather content to do his bidding. I rather like her, but i do nae wish to cause any problems, by pressing my luck to much. However as i said, tis a new world and mayhap i am just nae accustomed to such things. Anyway, i shall end my first entry here, as i have much to do with preparing to find Anastasia, I do so hope the bards are correct in her travling here, i wish not to waste much more time, I must find her and convince her of our relation, a tast which i worry will be a difficult one, as she nae knows of my existance.

--Journal Entry, 14 October, Lady Charquin

I think not saying goodbye to the few friends I had on the Island was the hardest part of leaving. But I had no choice. They would have talked me into staying like so many times before. Telling me things would get better. They never did get better. I left a note for Lyrias when I went to get the children, telling her I had to go and why.

I tried so hard to make things work. I should have known long ago it never would. Well, he has -his- daughter back and I want him no where near me or my children. They deserve a better life than what they had on the Island. I should never brought them there. I dont know what in the gods names possessed me to tell him he was their father.

The notes i sent him went unanswered and the one he did answer was nasty and accusing. Yet I'm -not- the one within days of our daughters death, chasing after men. Ah but yes He accused me of doing that. Everyone that knows me, knows damn well i did more than my share of trying to make things work with him. He wants to be a whore, thats fine. My children dont need to be around that.

We are safe now on the mainland. We may have to hide for a while but thanks to family and friends thats not a problem.

"hearing the children stirring she closes the journal and goes to see to them"

--Journal Entry, 14 October, Vixen Blade

*after getting jerked around back and forth to a boat then off a boat told they're leaving suddenly then they're not leaving suddenly, she pulls her twin aside, tired and cranky*

"A'kane, I is goin' to go t'sleep. Wake me up when Mommy figures out what the heck she's doin'"

--Journal Entry, 14 October, Mia Blade Carazzi

::Having sent off notes that needed sending, he glances in on the sleeping Mairin and worn-out Mia, asking Paul of Thirlia, and going to his study to write::

It would be almost amusing had there not been so much turmoil as of late, to see her selfishness fester and ooze to the point where it is now. But it's not. You jerk my children from their beds, toss them on a vessel, badmouth me, make plans to "hide", and the like?

Please. If -you- leave, goodbye. Take my children, and I'll kill you. It's that simple. Well..Actually..take Alkane. The boy favors you. This is fair, with a set of twins, you get one as do I. Can't be easier than that. Thirlia also stays here, that is not negotiable.

And knowing you, you'll send Alkane to a boarding school. Why would you wish to be 'cooped up' in the evenings, when there's a barstool in several lands you might travel with your name etched upon it?

But your lies..my Gods woman, you repeat them so oft you begin to believe them as truth..whatever allows you to look yourself in a looking glass and continue with your life, I gather, is what you must do.

So here I am, once more on my own, although there was never a legal committment between us. Perhaps all can realize now WHY I would not commit? ::Chuckles dryly, thinly:: The girls and I will manage fine. Perhaps I'll do some rethinking, invite Lyrias to move into the manor and assist me with Thirlia, Mia and Mairin.

How nice it would be to have a Lady of the House who'd not ignore my eldest, my long-suffering child. How Mairin must've felt being shunned by the motherly figure..

No more, little one. This shan't happen again.

And Lyrias will know I'm not about to crawl beside her in bed and ask for her feminine wiles to be bestowed unto me. For a time, I'll sow what's left of my wild ways with the dockwhores or random isle girls, and perhaps look for a Lady Carazzi when I'm ready.

There has been much pain since arriving here. But now, with this chapter of my life closed, I can look forward to healing, and the pleasure that flows after being restored to a sense of wholeness.

Thank you, Vixen, for making me see the true you. Thank you for forcibly releasing me from any sense of obligation to you. You can now go back to your whoring ways, and I mine. ::Shakes his head:: This is what's best. I know that from the numbness I feel, a numbness not brought on by rye: This is the numbness that sets in when one just doesn't care for someone anymore.

No bitterness. No anger.
No rage or pain.
No woman will torment me like this again.

::Lets the journal dry and asks Paul to bring the children down, perhaps to visit Breuse. Reconciliation with his son is on the wind::

--Journal Entry, 14 October, Sir Alterio A. Carazzi II